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Now keep in mind that if you would have slapped me first, I could have apologized or done something else, instead of slapping you back. For example, if you slapped me first as a result of me causing you to spill something on your clothes, I could have immediately run away screaming “Wooohooo!! I have a topic for my site!” while you chase me. Thus, a preemptive action is not an action that is the only solution to something that can happen. It is an action that the preemptive person or entity chooses to take.

The Preemptive Initiative

What I propose is that we try some preemptive things, listed below, in our lives. Why can we not take an action before there is even a need for such action in any form or manner? Whether I am serious or joking or being myself, you decide. Life would be completely different in many perspective if we start taking actions, including the act of not doing anything, before there is a need for such actions. The preemptive points listed below will help you get started.

The Golden Preemptive Rule

There is only one rule for Preemptive Actions Initiative: forget every other rule and focus only on the action itself. The below preemptive actions are being committed solely and only because of the very nature of each specific preemptive action itself. There is no other information or reason for which these actions take place. This very article is intended to let you know both the fun things that can result from preemptive actions, and the horrible things too. Hopefully by the end of this article, you will realize a bit more than before as to how preemptive actions and assumptions affect our life in different manners.

12 random & interesting Preemptive Actions

While some of the following may look like pranks², imagine making these part of your life and also imagine accepting the fact that others do the below things to you daily. Imagine that your life is empty without this, and that anyone telling you otherwise would only make you mad. How then will you live your life? Will you be able to realize when you are analyzing something and when you are assuming something?

Here we go:

1. File for divorce before you get married
   Found the girl or guy of your dreams? Take them to divorce court before you even get married. If they ask why you would want to do such a thing, tell them they were going to cheat on you, take your money, or do something else to hurt you. If they ask for proof, tell them your proof is your ability to preemptively analyze preemptive things. See how they react. Even if you get married after that, they may want to divorce you.
2. Break up before you start a relationship
   Similar to the divorce point, but for people not having marriage in sight. Walk up to the guy or the girl you want to ask out, and say “I want to break up with you.” Walk away, and let the gossips start. Launch a preemptive gossip yourself against the gossipers.
3. Sell the car before you buy it
   Go to the car dealership, test drive the car and put the car for sale on eBay or Craigslist while sitting in the salesperson’s office that same day, before you even sign any papers or pay for the car. When the buyer comes, take their money, leave and have the salesperson deal with the situation and that buyer.
4. Run from the cops before they have any reason to run after you
   See a cop and run. When they chase you, catch you and ask why you ran, say “I may end up doing something wrong in the future, which is why I was running since you may catch me then.” Wait a few hours while they search you, your house, your car, or anything else you own, check your background and your DNA and your blood and your pockets, before they scratch their heads in confusion((Please note: They might recommend or order you to go through a psych test to see if you are crazy or not.)). Be prepared to be faced with an authority that does not believe in your preemptive beliefs. If the cops ask you again “Why did you run?” Ask them back “Why did you run after me? You also preemptively though you would catch me before you knew I did anything wrong!
5. Apologize for what you did before you do the thing you apologize for
   Walk up to a stranger and say “Sorry man for stealing your money“, and walk away. Keep looking back to see how the stranger looks at you, or if the stranger comes after you to slap you.
6. Return a call before you get the call
   Call all your friends and say “Hey, I am returning your call. Wassup?” When they say “I didn’t call you…” Say “I know. I realized that there is a possibility that you were going to call me, I was going to be away from the phone and thus I was going to miss your phone call. That is why I am returning your call before you even called me. Wassup? Tell me quickly, I don’t have much time.” See their reaction and make a note of it in your friendship diary. See how many friends start calling you fewer times after that.
7. Tell people you are closing your website, before you open your website
   I want to announce that I am closing my shoe website. It has been a very hard decision, and I know a lot of you would have been disappointed had it actually existed, but I have been forced to take this action since I knew the website would have consumed a lot of my time. On top of that, I do not know if the website was going to sell shoes or talk about shoes or something else. Heck, I do not even know the name of my shoe website or what the domain name url would be. Sorry all, and I hope none of you cry because you miss my shoe website. May my shoe website live in your hearts forever, as it surely lives in mine!
8. Quit a job before getting that job
   Walk into the corporate office of any large company and ask the first employee you see what the proper procedure is for someone who wants to quit a job that they have not yet even gotten the offer for. After that person looks at you for a while, slap them. When you get arrested, refer to my above example and say you exercised your right to preemptive strike as you knew they were going to slap you for asking a weird question.
9. Ask for a refund for your computer before you buy that computer
   Walk into Best Buy and request a refund for your computer. When the sales associate asks you for the item and the receipt, say “I haven’t bought the computer yet.” See whether or not you can end up making the sales associate call for the manager. Say the same thing to the manager and in the end, when you have had enough, say “Ok, I guess you do not respect my preemptive refund rights.” See the reaction.
10. Tell the bus driver “Thanks for the ride” before you get on the bus
    Stop the bus. When the door opens, look at the driver, thank him/her for the ride and walk away. See what happens then. Make sure you have medical insurance; preemptively buying medical insurance is a good thing.
11. Thank the guests for the great party and close the door before the guests even come into your house for the party
    This one is interesting. Invite guests to a party. When they show up at the door, open the door, thank them for coming and immediately say “It was a nice party, bye” and close the door, without letting them in. See what happens, and see if they ring the door bell to ask what is going on.
12. Thank and pay for the food at the restaurant and leave before ordering the food
    Walk into a restaurant and ask for your bill. When the cashier or waiter asks what you ordered or who served you, say “I haven’t ordered yet.” Everything that follows will test your preemptive initiative oath: if you laugh and simply walk out, you were only a prankster playing a prank. If you actually end up paying the money and believe this should happen daily to others and to you, you are preemptively initiating the preemptive initiative.

The above are some interesting preemptive actions that can add fun and frolics into your life. Be careful: not realizing what is the real message in this article can result in a lot of slapping and beating by cops and other people.

Do you support the preemptive initiative?

What do you think about the above points? If you realistically did any of the above, would you feel happy? Would you feel sad? Would you feel stupid? Would you not feel anything? Do you think preemptive actions can result in anything good or anything bad? Do you think such a thinking can improve or worsen your life? Can you think of any other actions, ideas or things that can hint at a preemptive action?

Thank you for reading. I will stop here and will go eat now, since I may become hungry soon.

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“Oh, this…“ the voice said pointing to his weapon. “You don’t remember? I took this from you.“

Bes was puzzled. He was in a strange place, bound and defenseless. And a strange man was holding him captive with a terrifying weapon that the man said was his.

“Wh..“ Bes tried to speak again. “Why…am I here?“

“Why are you here? What a stupid question.“ the voice said.

The voice got up from his chair with the large weapon in tow. He inched towards Bes.

Bes eyed the weapon, his heart beating ever faster. The adrenaline rushing through his veins was starting to overpower the narcotics that threatened his movement.

“What do you want with me?“ Bes asked frightened.

The voice laughed. “I want you to stop.“

“Stop what?“

“Isn’t it obvious?“ the voice stated with a mocking laugh following.

Bes, helpless and bound, was growing irritated, “If it was so obvious, I wouldn’t be asking.“

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.“ the voice snapped. Holding the weapon over Bes ready to strike, the voice continued, “I’ve been reading your work. And I want you to stop.“

“You mean, stop blogging?“

“Do shiny metal objects always increase your intelligence?“ the voice mocked.

“I can’t stop blogging.“ Bes said.

“Well, you’ve already stopped.”

“What?” Bes asked confused. “What are you talking about? I haven’t stopped.“

“Yes you have.“ the voice explained, “I’ve had you here for months. Your readers haven’t even noticed.“

“Yes they have. They’ll come for me! You’ll see!“ Bes exclaimed.

“I don’t think so…“ the voice said. “You’re not that important.“

As the voice said that, the warehouse door burst open. Sunlight erupted through the door, and Bes could make out the silhouette of person standing in the doorway.

“You!“ the voice screamed. “Don’t come any closer.“

The person stepped forward, making his way slowly towards the voice and Bes. In his hand the person had his own shiny and sharp weapon.

“I’ve come for Bes. Step away from him.“ the person demanded.

Holding the weapon to Bes’s neck, the voice screamed, “Don’t come any closer! I will take his head off!“

“You can’t.“ the person stated matter-of-factly while still walking closer.

“I can!“ the voice screamed hysterically, heaving the weapon down on Bes’s exposed throat.

Bes screamed loudly and was quickly silenced.

The person approached Bes.

“Take my hand Bes.“ the person said.

“Wha… What happened?“ Bes said looking around, no longer able to see the voice.

“Take my hand.“

“I can’t. I’m tied down.“ Bes explained.

“No you’re not. Get up.“

Bes again tried to move. He was free.

“What happened to him? The voice?“

“He was never here, Bes.“ the person said.

“But he tried to kill me. Stop me.“

“Here. Take this.“ the person said, handing Bes his weapon.

“Now get out of here. And don’t let anyone take this from you ever again.“

Bes got up, still confused about what had happened.

“Explain to me what happened here.“ Bes demanded.

“Explain it yourself.“ the person said, walking towards the exit of the warehouse.

Bes held the weapon in his hand, raising it so that the sunlight reflected brightly off of it onto the warehouse floor.

“I will.“ Bes said. And he walked outside into the sun.

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All his life he has been quiet, and it can be hard for him to not be quiet sometimes. When he’s in public and in a joyful mood, he can keep on talking. He can keep on entertaining. He can keep on negotiating. Aaaah yes, negotiating. His life is based around negotiation. Negotiating for life. Negotiating for happiness. Negotiating for things he thinks are right not only for him but everyone else too.

Sure, most people overlook such things as it is hard to find a selfless person but he keeps on negotiating, keeps on hoping, keeps on trying. But he is quiet now on the phone. It seems like an eternity. It is a very strong, silent moment, and I wonder if he’s still on the phone. “Bes…” I say, and I hear a very calm “Yes.” He’s there. The clock still says 3:30 am for some unknown reason.

I don’t know what to say.

So I say “hmmmm…” He loves that word sometimes, as if it was his lover that he longed for from time to time. I am not sure why; I doubt even he knows why. That word, among a few others, has become part of him. “Hmmmmmmm.” He says. After a few moments of silence, Bes finally says “99% of the world only hears what others say, while I am somehow stuck with only listening, or not getting a good listener to actually listen.” These moments are very rare; Bes rarely talks about anything on his mind.

Sure, he entertains others, he can keep on talking. But no one knows him personally. No one knows whether he is single or not. Most don’t know where he lives. No one knows about his childhood, about his life, about his current situation. Most don’t know why he does things, or what he does most of the time. Most don’t know his birthday. Most don’t even know his real name. Do you?

Yet he keeps on listening, canceling his movies for those who are sad, not going to classes for those who need him right that very moment, selling his own things to make money for others, giving free and real honest advice to both business and non-business people and their needs, and actually sympathizing and feeling sad in his real offline life if someone online is sad and needs any kind of attention. Other people have become part of him, and he likes observing and analyzing things around him. There comes his own self interest; observing, analyzing, helping, caring, and hoping to be returned some favor. What is that favor? I don’t know. I doubt he knows either. It just hasn’t happened much, or at all, yet.

People know the listening Bes.

People say he is funny and a nice guy; however, very rarely does anyone inquire much about Bes the way he inquires about others. He shows real interest in other people because he has real interest in other people, and he revolves his current life and everything around almost any person he hangs out with. I come back to my senses and look at the clock; it still says 3:30 am. “You want someone else out there like your own self?” I ask. It can be pretty hard to ask Bes any personal questions, for he is a master of detours and can easily answer things to your satisfaction without revealing anything about himself, even if he wanted to. “Heh“, he sighs heavily in a cheerful mood and then becomes quiet.

I hope he says something, as even getting a response on my question is a miracle.

“When I was in the hospital last year,” Bes said, “the hospital sent a student nurse or a psychologist-in-training for 2 nights straight to allow me to talk to her so I don’t feel depressed or anything because of being stabbed. Usually, people who get stabbed get someone to talk to them afterwards to make sure they are ok. This was 2 days after I gained consciousness. After 2 nights of her coming and not being able to get me to talk about anything personal, I spent the next 8 days listening to her problems, her cries and her issues and told her what I thought was right or wrong.

Being in a bed allowed me to actually sometimes make sarcastic fun of some of her issues also; my intention was not to make fun of her but to show what I thought. Here I was, in yet another almost-death situation and I had a chance to express myself and as usual, I didn’t and it didn’t bother me, and instead I ended up being the listener as always…..”

I wondered if he had stopped.

I had to make sure I knew what was going on. To be frank, I had no idea about the exact purpose of what Bes said but I knew that what he said had some element in it that was the focus of everything Bes wanted to say. Bes never says “I feel we should do this.” and as the only thing in a conversation. He likes explaining things, and if he ever talks about himself, he wants to explain himself perfectly. That is why he rarely talks; he is good at realizing when people may be bored, and thus he caters any conversation around to what people want to hear. He is good at that. He is very good at that.

He can excel at communication, at helping others, at realizing what people are made up of, what businesses are made up of, what things are made up of, solving problems for people and businesses, but Bes’s personal life is part of him, and it rarely comes out. He is more happy than most people, probably you too, and he is also more sad and worried about things than most of you, probably you too. Maybe it was his childhood that made him this unique. Hmm, yes, it must be! Or maybe it was how he tried to control his childhood instead of simply responding to it.

I quickly move my hand and my head and look at the phone to check its battery power. My phone still has full, 100% battery. Hours of talk in this phone call and the battery life is still 100%. I wonder why, while putting the phone back on my ear quickly.

Businesses, personalities and external people love it.

Sure, businesses love that, the very thing Bes has become on the outside, as he can work perfectly and do miracles even when his personal life is in chaos, for he rarely loses his cool, he rarely shows his weak point, he rarely shows his inner self. He never wants to show anything personal to anyone who does not care a full 100%, and thus he rarely feels the need to express himself to any individual most of the time. But Bes, himself, knows that such a thing, even though it is alive and well, can maybe go through a change. What kind of a change? Who knows. I wonder if he knows what kind of a change he wants. I do know that he is tired of being only a listener in all personal situations. In businesses, he is more than comfortable in almost anything, so that is not part of the topic here.

“Whatever man,” Bes says, “I know many things are not going to change because of my efforts.”

“What is the solution, do you think?” I ask.

Bes becomes quiet, and giggles.

“Haha“, he exclaims. “People spend years trying to figure out why they are gaining weight and never find the solution. People spend years trying to figure out how to stop their health from deteriorating and they never find the solution. People spend years trying to figure out how to improve their lives and they never find the solution. I have spent and am spending my entire life trying to figure out something, and it is not the solution. Heh, maybe that is the reason I keep thinking a lot. Or maybe the current state of thinking is the answer to what I’ve been seeking, or a tool for it. I wonder how it feels like to try to find a solution for things first. Heh.”

I look at the clock again. It’s 3:30 am.

Bes is quiet now. I know he is thinking of all the stereotypes people have. He knows how the world does not allow easy non-sexual interaction between males and females, how the world does not permit non-selfish interactions between people, and how the world does not allow certain characters to thrive, characters which can easily go from one realm to another, one perspective to another, without being hogged down to a single frame of mentality. “Ok man, sorry to wake you up. Go back to sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day, filled with squirrel pursuits, meeting people, and avoiding talking about person things in front of stalkers and fake listeners, resulting in no personal talking at all.” I bid him farewell, and I put down the phone.

I look at the phone again, and it is all quiet, and asleep. I look at the clock after a few moments. It is now 3:31 am, and the world is on my shoulders. It always has been. People focus on the end result; I am focusing on the reasons. 2 different quests; 2 different paths? I wonder if I will ever be able to actually explain to an actual offline person who is close to me, on a personal level, anything about me, and what I’m all about.

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Why is it that when you offer help to someone voluntarily, it is sometimes appreciated by others, but when you do not offer help, you are looked down upon by many people? Anytime I help someone, I think about it. I wonder why I am helping, as I do not like helping out of obligation to anyone else. Obligation to society? Obligation to religion? Obligation to others? No, no and no. I am obligated to values, and I like to be obligated to those values that I realize are important because of my understanding and experience of and in life. As I wrote before, I can remember many times when I helped someone and I did not feel happy at all, and some of the responses I got from others shed some more light on the topic.

If we help others because we feel it is voluntary and we are doing something that we consider nice even though we are not obligated to, then our focus is probably on trying to see if others can benefit from our help. If we help others because we feel it is an obligation or because others may consider us to be rude if we do not help others, then our focus is probably on helping because it is an obligation.

Why is there usually no ground where there is no judgment passed on the behavior of a person who does not offer help to a stranger in a non-critical situation? Picking up a dropped pen for someone is nice and voluntary, but not picking it up on purpose is bad and rude. How can someone be innocent and selfless solely because they volunteer, when not volunteering results in many people in the society labeling that same person as being bad in some manner?

Is helping others in non-critical things an obligation?

Is the concept of helping supposed to exist because we can do it anytime we feel like it, or does it exist because others around us will consider it a nice gesture? What do you think?

Please let me know if you have any questions, comments or opinion about this. Thank you.

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The 12 year old won’t give me my $8 back

The 12 year old kid by the street sells me cookies, takes my $10 first and then, only after I have taken the first bite, says that he does not have the $8 change, and that I should come back tomorrow to get discounted cookies from the money he owes me; cannot damn him, since the cookies are either really good or they have drugs in them. The sub-sandwich store gives me a $5 coupon valid for 3 days only for a new sandwich they have, and this sandwich costs $8 more than their current, most expensive sandwich.

I return a defective electronic item I buy at an electronic store to get back my $389 in cash, since I paid cash, and I am told to either wait 5 weeks for a refund check, or to get their store gift card with $389 on it, which I can only use to buy more electronics from the same store.

You want me to pay you to lure me in? Sure.

The funny thing is that despite all the typical bias many people have against businesses and entities which take your money, each one does provide me with a service before trying to lure me in. Maybe I like paying people to seduce me?

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1. You own an iPod, or something similar.

   Think of the iPod as a luxury. Majority of the world cannot afford to buy food once a day, yet you have an iPod. You could have gotten the iPod as a gift from someone, or you could have bought it yourself. Now, how does this make sure that you are not poor? If you ask someone to lend you $100, while your iPod can be sold for $70, it means you want someone else to be inconvenienced by them giving you their money, while you do not want to give up listening to your iPod. Similarly, if you have something along the same lines, like a new laptop, and cannot part with it, you may not be poor. You can easily sell a laptop and get some money for it.

   Exceptions: Your job may depend on the laptop, or in some very rare cases, the iPod. Someone close to you may have given you the iPod and thus you cannot sell it, or else they will be greatly offended. Your iPod may probably be so old that you can only get $5 from it while you do not have money to pay the rent, which costs a couple of thousand dollars, etc. Of course, I can also say that if you can get $5 from your iPod, it means you are doing your best to make sure you utilize every resource possible before feeling that you are helpless and poor.

2. You can afford to buy a home or pay rent

   Home is another important factor that people and society have worked together to create. If you can afford to buy a home or pay rent for your current place of living, you are most probably not poor. Some ways to save money could be to cut off on living expenses: using less electricity, finding a cheaper place, selling off the home, renting a room to someone, etc.

   Exceptions: Even if you find a cheaper place, you may still not have the money you need. You may also already have the cheapest place anyone could get, unless you had a gun to force the landlord into lowering your rent. However, a gun usually costs money, so a really poor person may not be able to afford that. Unless, however, you use a knife to get a gun, but a knife costs too. Unless you use…..ok, never mind.

3. You can buy large combo meals from fast food places every day

   Food prices are a good way to measure the performance of an economy, and food is also a good way to measure the strength of your bank account, if you have one. If you can buy at least 2 large combo meals at McDonald’s or Carls. Jr.s every day, you are probably not poor. Why? You can buy cheaper stuff at grocery stores and cook things yourself for weeks, saving more than half the money you spend in a month on fast food.

   Exceptions: You don’t know how to cook, you do not have a kitchen, you get gift cards or coupons for the fast food purchase, etc.

4. You can buy the things you want

   The things you need are usually different than the things you want. Wanting to eat food daily is something you need. Wanting to buy coffee and chocolate everyday, in addition to other kinds of food, can be something you want. If you can afford to buy things that can be avoided on a regular basis, chances are you are not poor. Paying for a blog, host, design and extra features for your site just for a hobby also means that you are probably not poor since you can afford such a thing.

   I knew this guy once who would drink coffee 3 times a day, finish a pack of premium cigarettes every day, buy food supplies and also eat at fast food places multiple times a day. On top of that, he would ask from time to time to lend him something so he could pay his rent. I calculated his expenses with him and in front of him, and figured that he was spending around $250 for the things I just listed above. How much did he want me to lend him? Around $100 or so. I told him about this, and he stopped being friendly after that.

   Exceptions: You are addicted to smoking. By addicted, I do not mean that if you do not smoke you feel weird. No, feeling weird for not smoking is an excuse for people who want a lame excuse to keep spending money. By addicted, I mean if you stop smoking or drinking you feel extreme depression, or you get seizures and have to go to the hospital, etc. Also, without things like coffee, you may actually get literal headaches throughout the day resulting in you getting admitted to the hospital. Also, things like blog may maintain your sanity by allowing you to express yourself, and without that, you would be poor and insane, though some can say that such a reason is simply an excuse to spend on your blog while you do not have enough money for offline things.

   Another important exception to this rule is if you are Bes: Bes needs and wants chocolate every single day; no exception to this rule. Period. Bes used to give packs of chocolate to homeless people before someone threw it back at Bes and yelled “I want some change! What the HELL am I gonna do with that?” Bes apologized and moved on, and ever since, Bes has been thinking of never giving away any chocolate, but keeping it in the fridge to devour while writing posts at night.

5. You can buy things for others

   If you can buy things for others, you are most probably the opposite of poor. You may be rich. There is nothing wrong with buying a $500 watch for your boy/girlfriend, but there is something wrong with buying a $500 watch to impress someone and asking someone else to lend you $200 for your car payment at the same time.

   Exceptions: You feel your job or some relationship depends on you buying something for others so much, that you do not even have enough money for some personal things, like your own rent, enough food, etc. Sure, such an exception means you do not know how to have a good relationship and are in touch with the wrong people, but it also means that you may be poor and cannot help it. Another exception may be that you are raising a child or someone, and you want that child or anyone depending on your financially to be really happy, and thus you are sacrificing your own financial happiness.

I hope this list helps you realize whether or not you are really poor. Also, if you want to borrow money from someone, you may think twice before asking someone to part with their money, while you do not part with yours.

Can you think of more things to add to this list?

A good next topic could be “5 situations in which you wish you were poor.” Thanks for reading.

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And I think my “ass” felt threatened. The woman started saying that she would kick my “ass” if I didn’t disappear. I just wanted to talk on the phone. I didn’t care about my freedom to go away at that point. I didn’t care about my freedom to drive at that point. I didn’t care about freedom to say stuff at that point. All I cared about was the freedom to talk on my god damn Kyocera phone, and the freedom to sit in that exact spot. Besides, the last time I checked, I paid the freaking taxes for the bench I was sitting on.

The screaming woman didn’t care; she kept yelling that she will beat the crap out of me, and she kept repeating that at the top of her lungs. Some rubberneckers started to stare at me. They were probably wondering who this guy was that could infuriate a lady so much. I got tired of standing. Screw this woman. I sat back down. For a moment, I felt like Rosa Parks defying a screaming lady’s demands.

“HEY YOU ASSHOLE!! YOU GONNA MOVE???” I looked at her with a serious face and nodded a no. I was talking on a cell phone. To heck with this lady, since I wasn’t bothering her directly at all. As a method of retaliation, she started picking up her papers and started throwing them on the other side of the bus stop. Her retaliatory methods encouraged me to keep sitting.

Finally fed up with this woman, I decided to embark on a case of hired mayhem. I ended up hiring a robotic-armed woman as my secret agent to silence the screaming woman who had a fetish with the spot my ass was parked on. How did I achieve such a feat? Read on….

The screaming woman, furious and crying like a little baby, yelled (even louder than before), “WILL SOMEBODY GIVE ME MY SPOT BACK? HE FUCKING TOOK IT!”

There were other people sitting on the bench, and I had changed my bench spot several times by sliding from one end to the other. She simply had a problem with me and my cell phone existing in this part of the universe. The homeless woman with the robotic arm came around again and asked if I had some change. I smiled a sorry face and nodded a no, and then I had an idea! I motioned the one-armed woman to come back and took out a $5 bill, and pointed at the yelling woman, who was still yelling, and made some figures with my hand to show that she was talking a lot.

“Get this woman off my back.” I implied with my gestures and figures.

Then, while I was on the phone, listening, I pointed at the one-armed woman and made a zipper type gesture on my mouth. The robotic lady computed for a few seconds, looked at the other woman, and then smiled with a huge grin and then looked at me and whispered “More.”

She had understood what I wanted, and she wanted more money. I looked at the screaming woman; she had taken out her cell phone and was doing something on it, while still screaming like crazy.

I looked at the one-armed woman, and then took out another $10. The one-armed woman said “More“, so I took out another $20. She immediately took the $35 with her menacing robotic claws, put her index finger on her lips as if telling me to be patient or silent, and then walked off in the other direction.

I was stumped! I thought “Wow, $35 given away for nothing!” I myself wanted to scream at the robotic lady, wanting to tell her “At least do something before walking off with my money to buy a stainless steal cleaner for your robotic arm!”

Then…

The iron-arm secret agent strikes!

I was sitting, looking in the other direction, almost starting to become moody as the lady kept yelling all sorts of profanity at me. Then, all of a sudden, I heard a huge “AAAAH” scream, from some female. I heard some people scream too. I looked in the direction of the screaming woman and noticed she was on the floor.

“What happened?” I thought in ignorance as the robotic woman jumped on the threatening lady and proceeded to beat the crap out of her.

The screaming women started pulling hair and kicked my robotic savior, and the two started shuffling on Shattuck street between Center & Allston, stopping the oncoming traffic from Center.

Many people started running towards them, some trying to get them off. The one-armed woman had fulfilled her promise; she had shut up the woman for $35, though I never imagined it would be through a fist fight. I wonder if I missed the actual action scene, with the iron-fist hitting the screaming woman from the side, while she was still screaming. Who needs to go see action movies in a movie theatre when I can direct my own, action-packed movie for only $35. Talk about reality TV.

The two women were finally separated from each other by some nearby people, and the robotic woman started walking towards me. Some guy tried to stop her from simply walking away and she yelled with her iron arm pointing at the guy, “YOU WANT MY DAMN ARM UP YOUR ASS?” The guy backed off, scared.

The screaming woman started to push and hit others around her, so people started wondering if everyone in the universe was crazy. As the iron-clawed woman approached me, she started saying out loud, “Put down the fucking phone and walk away foooo’” She started sprinting and it was an epic scene; have you ever seen a woman with a robotic claw hand running down on Shattuck street, or any street in the world? I knew I had to move now, no matter what. I couldn’t just put the phone down, so I started walking towards Fed-Ex again. I stood outside it for a few minutes, watching the chaos that Bes had just created from across the street. After the important phone call finished, I went into Fed-ex and started faxing the things I wanted to fax. I kept checking outside every few minutes to see what was going on. The police had arrived, and they were probably asking different people different things. No one was pointing towards me, which was good. Within 20 minutes or so, the street was clear again and there she was, the screaming woman, sitting at the same spot. Some people never learn.

I left FedEx Kinko’s and started walking towards my car. I got into the car, wondering about what had happened. That was probably the 7th nice incident that had happened to Bes on that same day, so it was noted in Bes’s memory for future reference. If only Bes could write a book, it would be awesome (I’m accepting pre-purchases).

I started driving down the street and had to stop at the red light. The light was one light before the screaming lady’s bench area. I heard the same lady screaming again, so I thought she had spotted me and was alerting everyone again. I looked in her direction, surprised. She had not spotted me. She was yelling at some girl who was sitting at a bench near the bus stop. The girl didn’t have any cell phone on her, but she did have a terrified look on her face as she got up and started walking away really fast. I wonder why the screaming woman got mad at her. If only that terrified girl had thirty five dollars.

Perception ruled almost everything

The screaming woman viewed the whole scene as being able to be solved by her yelling at me, without perceiving my situation. I had looked at the situation considering the idea that anyone can sit at bus stops, and that I was not bothering anyone, and that the woman was not homeless. Many homeless people have territories in the Bay Area, so if you invade that space, they can get upset. The screaming lady was surely not homeless, so I thought the invasion of territory shouldn’t be significant. The one-clawed woman/male/something assassin had looked at the entire perspective based on how he/she/it could return some value to me for the $35 I gave to the iron claws, and hitting the other woman seemed the only way for her to achieve some useful results. The imagined or perceived perception of everything resulted in three different characters causing a chain of events that the universe observed.

Who said one-clawed people were evil and not trustworthy? Chaotic, yes. Extreme, yes. But trustworthy, I think. Or at least this one-clawed human being was.

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Some anti-gay people I know are so nice and respectful that I feel lucky to know them. Others are simply so obsessed that I am surprised.

I know many people online who are gay, many people online who are not gay, and I know many online people who do not like gay people. Some of my very close offline and online friends do not like gay people, but they also make sure they have logic in their arguments, and that they do not go around hating a whole group of people simply because of their own sexual preference. My close friends, both online and offline, can say anything logical and warranted because they are my close friends. However, if you know me only through a single post and start telling me online that you know me for only a day, and that you will not come back to my blog because you think I am gay, I am not going to persuade you to stay. Convincing people that gay people are good or they are bad can be a quest I am willing to go after; convincing you to stay, because of your assumptions while reading a single post and knowing me for less than 24 hours, is something I could have done last year when I was counseling people a lot.

However, many of these people do not care about such things as long as they are not directly affected by something related to the concept of being gay. I notice some people act weird every single day, because of their fear that gay or bisexual people are alive in this world. They do not care if a gay or bisexual blogger posts something useful in a blog post or a blog comment; they only care about the sexual preference of that blogger or commentor, and they judge the blogger or commentor accordingly.

The most common reason for people hating gay people

Even though so many people tell me that they would not like to be touched sexually by a person of the same sex, I often wonder how many of such people are attractive enough to attract anyone. If you ask people, the people who say “I do not like being touched or asked out by another guy/girl“, you may be surprised to hear the answer if you ask them “How many people of the same sex as you have ever actually hit on you.” Even if someone hits on you, does that mean you have to start hating that person, or everyone who has the same sexual preference as that person?

Unless a gay or bisexual blogger talks about topics revolving gay and bisexual nature of people that affects your views or yourself directly, it can be extreme to argue against or even hate someone or treat them differently, simply because of their sexual preference, when they are simply trying to focus on a non-gay topics and offer you their opinion. Why not just focus on the topic at hand if that topic does not revolve, even remotely, around topics like same sex marriage?

How about gay people hating straight people?

Now an even more interesting thing to think about is how many gay people have phobia against non-gay people. I was making a list, and I know at least 14 people off the top of my head who are strictly anti-straight; these people are obsessed with hating straight people, which is again weird in my opinion. I think I am going to start a series on both topics soon.

What do you think? If you are a close friend, you already know if I am gay or not. Otherwise, you can probably figure out on your own if I am gay or not, though I love being whatever nightmare or phobia you may have. Why? Because I can. Your ability to start acting weird around me simply because of your own fear, which has nothing to do with me and which exists because of you passing judgments about me without thinking, gives me the right to.

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Being inconsiderate offline

Almost every week I talk to some friends who tell me about how they ran into some people who had no manners because they did not respect the culture, religion, political view or something else that my friend believed in. However, people usually do not talk about their own character not having any rules or views on how one should be accommodating of other views. For example, if a certain culture dictates how someone should eat, it can be very hard to find any rule or cultural characteristic that dictates how one can let someone eat anyway they want, if they did not subscribe to certain cultural trends.

If a culture, religion, or any other guideline view about something in life about is not accommodating of people who want to do things their own way while not hurting others, why can we ourselves not be more considerate to and of others and still follow our culture and our rules? If our culture or religion does not consider other conflicting views, does that mean our culture and religion is not good? Why can people not be all right with others doing the same thing in different ways? Does everyone have to have the same religion? Does everyone have to have the same culture? Does everyone need to have the same political view? Does everyone need to do everything in the same exact manner? As long as someone is doing something and not hurting others directly and intentionally, why can we not be happy with them, coexist with them, and even incorporate them and their views into our own lives?

Being inconsiderate online

I run into many blogs daily where people get upset over someone having differing view about something then them. A blogger may get upset and feel offended if someone else talks about contradictory views on religion, politics, or even blogging. However, should we not have the quality of being considerate to other views? Why can our own online views, such as blogging rules, dictate something like “We will treat and deal with the people who have the exact same views as us, in exactly the same manner as the people who have different views“?

Why is it that I cannot write something, like saying that blogging is just a stupid fad, without getting people to attack me without any reason? Being inconsiderate does not mean that you do not disagree with others. Being inconsiderate means that you cannot live normally while knowing that people have different views. The only reason we may be upset at others online, and thus be inconsiderate to them, is because those other people are going after ideas that we ourselves have either not thought of, or we have decided not to utilize them. We do not disrespect and disagree with others people because we believe we are right; we disrespect and disagree with others because they have a different view and because they do not subscribe to our views.

This mentality creates a little dilemma, if one believes in the concept of applying a theory to different things; does everyone then, when following the concept of being considerate to others, need to follow the same standards online? Why can we not have more blogs without any RSS feeds? Why can we not have nonstandard, and strange, labeling around a site, like the word “Backroad” instead of “Archives“? Why can we not have more blogs without the comment feature? One of the grand questions of all: if we want to be considerate to others, why can we not be comfortable with blogs that deliberately aim to be inconsiderate?

Do you think the concept of being considerate to others has any value for you?

What is your view on this? Do we have to criticize or hate every instance of something that we disagree with? Could that be the reason why many married and dating couples look like brothers and sisters, because many people want to find someone who not only acts like them but also looks like them? Can human beings, as a whole, ever have a mentality where they not only respect different views and people, but they also make it a part of their own character to revolve their own views and character on such a thing? We we, as individuals, easily have a mentality where we are not only considerate to others, but where we also revolve our own ideas and beliefs around the idea of letting other ideas and beliefs prosper within our own life domain?

I am touching the introduction of this touchy subject very lightly, as this subject probably defines the lives of many people out there, and deserves more than just a single post that was written while Bes was hungry. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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I would also like to thank Andrew for guest writing during my trip with his post “Why on earth do we do it?.” Andrew, I owe you lunch also; we will both order, and Ronald will pay.

If you e-mailed me during the last 4 days, you should get a response from my within the next few hours, as I have many e-mails to go through. If you do not get a response from my by midnight tonight, please e-mail me again as I may have overlooked your e-mail.

Thank you. Now the site operations can return to normal.

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Things can go wrong with a blog during the day. Earlier today, Simonne from All Tips and Tricks e-mailed me saying Bes and I spelled “Reader Appreciation” as “Reader Appreciton”. I felt extremely embarrassed and e-mailed Bes to please fix it since I didn’t have access to my blog at work. And the site has been live for over two months.

Other times, when I have made plugin releases, the comments come flooding in (especially bug reports) and I can’t do anything about it since I am at work. I rush to get home after work and the gym, but by then I am so tired, the energy to perform any band-aids or blogging is just nil.

The efforts made in blogging aren’t always justified, especially since I have a day job that already pays the bills. So I must ask myself, what is my gauge of success? I find that the success in the offline world is a little different than that of the online world.

Success in the Online World

Perceived success in the online world typically has to do with three things:

• The amount of traffic and subscribers.
• The amount of revenue earned.
• The amount of influence.

If you don’t have traffic, money, and influence, is your blog really successful? Is the success I mention the recipe for the mythical A-Lister?

Success in the Offline World

Some would perceive success in the offline world as:

• How many people you control.
• How much money you control.
• How much influence a person has.

Some of the most successful people are politicians, simply because they command huge armies and huge budgets.

Is the Offline Success and Online Success Practical?

Some would call their blog a success after reaching a hundred feed subscribers. Some would call their offline life a success after being married and owning a house. I have come to question what I consider a success, both in the offline and online world.

In the online world, am I successful because I have reached a certain feed count? Am I successful because one of my blogs is making some money? Or am I successful because I enjoy what I do and people are benefiting from what I write?

In the offline world, am I successful because I have reached my education goals? Am I successful because I have a good job? Or is there something more?

The Online and Offline Collision

There seems to be a crossroad where there’s a point where you might have to choose which world to achieve that success in. Is it possible to achieve success in both the online and offline world simultaneously? Is that what the mythical A-Lister has accomplished? Or does one have to choose at some point?

Conclusion

The weekend is coming up. I’m looking forward to it.

Thanks for reading.

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I was talking on the phone with a friend when she mentioned the Blacksburg shooting. 33 people died, with 1 of them shooting the other 32. It was a shock; the same shock I felt when I read every week how homeless children are dying everyday because of hunger. It was a little bit less shocking than seeing bodies floating in the rivers after hurricanes, or seeing bodies scattered after an explosion. It was, regardless of the intensity, a shock, that someone else out there had mustered up some unknown thoughts and gone after other people. I thought of the people who died in the shooting, and I wondered why this shooter would kill all these people and then kill himself. I also wondered about the families of the victims, and the family of the shooter. What was the reason behind all of this?

Then Valerie told me that she noticed in her WordPress dashboard a link to a post by Lorelle that talked about the killings. She felt that it was strange that a dashboard (that was supposed to only talk about WordPress) was now linking to a post related to the Virginia Tech shootings. The post by Lorelle basically advocated a site called One Day Blog Silence, which wanted everyone to observe April 30th as a day to be silent in order to remember the people who died in that shooting recently. Valerie, as a response to the very site that advocated such a stand, posted “Silence is not the answer.” Later that day, I ran into an article by Vivien titled “Can Silence Say More Than A Thousand Words“, which prompted me to write out more on the topic.

Basically, Lorelle was telling everyone to observe a Day of Silence on April 30th. She was telling people to follow what the site, OneDayBlogSilence.com, was telling people to do: to be silent for one day in memory of those who died.

Take real action instead of being silent

In my view, if someone wants to do something, they should write letters of support to the people in Virginia, especially to the families of those who died. Can you imagine the pathetic stance many people are taking right now? Setting up that site, One Day of Blog Silence, sounds pathetic unless it is run by the relatives of those who died. What will such a site do? What can such a site do? Why not make sure the families feel better by writing them letters or going to visit them and showing them in person that you care?

Why is WordPress allowing personal posts to appear in the WP Dashboard?

Also, why would WordPress allow this personal opinion over the deaths of people to be posted on Planet Wordpress, which gets sent to hundreds of thousands of WordPress admin panels right away? Did we install WordPress to get WordPress news, or did we install the software to read personal opinions about life and death? Does this mean WordPress admins will promote any post by Lorelle to the millions of WordPress websites out there? Really? Are you telling me that anything that is emotional or related to death will be allowed to go into the admin because someone wrote it?

People will be having fun on One Day of Blog Silence

A day of silence? Can you imagine the number of people who are going to be having fun in the offline world while simply not posting in the online world? Why not write a letter yourself to the affected families? Why can’t we create a mentality where we can be happy everyday, and when we find out that anyone died, whether it was due to murder or due to hunger, we feel sad and immediately we resolve to do even more to help humanity if we want to. I can bet a bit that more than a 10 homeless people died today alone is almost every city we live in, yet that did not get broadcast in the news, and thus most people did not get hyper about those deaths.

I will tell you something: I can guarantee you that many posters, including the site linked above, have not even taken the trouble to find out the sexes, ages or even about the character of the people who died unless they came across the CNN article by accident. It is also surprising to see how most do not even talk about the injured people, or about the family of the shooter himself.

Blogosphere is not in deep mourning. Only people taking real action are in deep mourning.

Lorelle said the blogosphere is in deep mourning. I will say that’s not the case. Just because someone dies and I say “the world is sad today” does not mean it is. Almost every commentor to her post who has a blog, probably had lots of fun within an hour of reading that entry and expressing sorrow. Why? Because becoming hyper all of a sudden over a tragedy that is made public over the news does not mean we actually want to do something about the issue. It simply means that we can get emotional and feel ethical when the news wants us to. So I will say this:

“The Blogosphere is posting about it, but it is not in mourning. It is simply news for most online people.”

I get scared of the trends that get started because of the news. More than 500 homeless people died this very day in this country, and they were all innocent. Do we cry about them? No. Yet trends like “Silence Day” are started when the news gets wind of 33 deaths and wants to juice out as much information as possible before moving on to something new?

Is the art of appealing to emotion being used to manipulate us into observing One Day of Blog Silence?

Also, the 2nd post by Lorelle really shocked me. As a friend of mine said, the post used the tactic of appealing to emotion. Right after the first post supporting OneDayBlogSilence, the post that followed talked about the deaths in Israel. Is that post trying to bring out our emotions about the 6 million people who died at the hands of an evil dictator and connect it to Seung-hui Cho, the person who killed the 32 people at Virginia Tech, and the 32 people who died? Is that post comparing the Holocaust to the dead Virginia Tech students? The Holocaust post has nothing to do with what happened, so I have no idea why it would be connected and posted right next to the One Day of Blog Silence post.

I will mail letters ONLY to prove a point. I will then go live my life.

You know what I will do? I am going to start finding addresses of the people whose relatives died. If I cannot find those addresses, I am going to find different the Blacksburg city counsel addresses and different legal addresses for Virginia Tech.

On April 30th and any other “related” day that people are planning without any real thinking, I am going to go to the post office and mail some letters of support and this very post [previously a comment] to the families of those affected. I will also tell those families what I think, how I feel sad, and how I have already moved on my life, and how I would love for them to start living their lives also without forgetting their loved ones.

In the past, I have mailed some letters to people I knew and also people I found out about through other people, whenever I could. If it’s a media blaze like this, one of the reasons I must send letters is to not be a hypocrite and tell others “Silence day is stupid” and not do anything myself. I have counseled and done more for people with all sorts of issues before. Rape, kidnapping, negligence during childhood, and even people from war torn countries and thus people experiencing trauma due to seeing their own families murdered before them. They can choose to remain silent, fine, since they want to forget and move on. But if I want to react to such things, I cannot say “I have decided I am going to observe a day of silence.” I have seen people dying in front of my own eyes because of growing up in war ridden countries, and I have even seen dead bodies piling up less than 12 months ago. Does that mean anything I do is automatically justified? Does that mean I have the right to call for silence illogically simply because I have seen, heard, felt or experienced things?

One Day of Silence may work for you

Some people may like to be silent and that is fine, since they are at least not hurting other people directly. However, I don’t like the concept, as I have been hearing it in vain all my life. Besides, why would I want to follow a trend of being silent when everyday in our own cities hundreds of innocent people are dying due to various reasons? If you try telling me in person that you are sorry about my losses and that you will remain silent to show respect, I will make sure you hear what I have to say over such an idea. And what I have to say won’t be pleasant.

Take some action that helps, or be silent in a way that actually helps

Please do something, or don’t do anything, and if you want to be silent, do it in a way that amounts to something useful. The current form of “silence” that is being promoted makes no sense other than to promote another internet meme that does nothing. When someone in your family dies, I will e-mail you a letter saying “I will offer a Sunday as a day of silence by not posting that day, and by going about my life having already forgotten about your grievances.” Let us see how you feel then.

Yes, silence does sometime make more difference than real action. However, being silent works only when it can be effective. Being silent when someone’s family member dies will not do anything. This is death, not some breakup in a relationship where being silent will comfort a person for a few minutes before you can run off to the movies and forget about everything and find new people to date. This is not a Memoriam; this is just an internet meme.

Doing things just for awareness is just a fad. Do things to make a different and do things to actually see things changing!

Do this: write an actual letter to those families or to their cities and tell them that the incident made you feel sad even for a while before you move on with your life. This is life; you have to remember and care forever. That means if one incident really affected you, don’t just observe a day of silence and forget about it. Keep in touch with that family and show them you are truly sorry about their loss.

If you simply feel sad only when the news talks about it, then I truly for sorry for those that depend on you. Next week the news story will change. Then what? Another day of silence to observe?

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Bes checked around, and noticed no cars nearby. Bes started driving on lane dividers, making sure the white lane divider lines were under the car. Bes wanted to crush the nut. No, let me rephrase that. Bes wanted to annihilate the nut for reasons even Bes did not understand. It was just a feeling that said “do it.” Bes sped the car a bit, making sure no pedestrians were in sight and that once the nut was crushed, Bes could resume normal driving easily and without any issues. Everything was under control until Bes noticed something moving in the tree from where the nut had fallen.

What was that moving thing?!?!

Bes was less than 5 seconds away from the nut when another object came down from the tree onto the car, and then jumped on the road, running towards the nut. It was a squirrel. “0_0” was the exact expression on Bes’s face, with Bes’s eyes squinting so hard as if wanting to avoid looking directly at the sun from a close distance. Let me repeat that. Bes’s face looked like:

0_0 with squinted eyes

The brakes got pushed as hard as they could. It was machine crying out loud to stop from angering a squirrel, which would otherwise be crushed to death. The machine knew it could simply run over the small creature and get away with it, but no, something inside the car felt fear. There was some doubt about the whole scene, and the car tried its best to simply stop and not touch the squirrel. The squirrel stood there, not moving an inch. It noticed a car that was trying to hold onto the brakes like crazy, while stopping from some 65 miles per hour speeds. Bes swirled the car a bit to the right, hoping to miss the squirrel while the car was still trying to stop because of the stupendous speed Bes had accelerated to not a few moments ago.

Smoke filled up the scenery in the rear mirror as the tires cried for mercy. The brakes told the tires to keep crying and keep trying, as hopefully the 2+ ton car could hopefully stop before reaching the probably less than a pound squirrel. It did not work. Bes kept looking at the squirrel when the squirrel disappeared under the car, with the car still trying to stop.

The car did not stop!

Bes went over the squirrel, and after passing the scene of the chaos, Bes started glancing in the rear mirror, while the car came to an almost complete stop. Bes could not see clearly in the back because of the smoke. Bes let go of the brake, which made a very weird squealing sound at that very moment and gave a sudden jerk to the car. Bes was surprised. Had the brakes died? Had the tires burst? Finally, in the side mirror, when the dust settled a bit, Bes saw the the new nut owner still standing in the same spot, looking at the 2 ton monster that had just missed because Bes had swirled the car a bit to the right. The squirrel moved a bit towards the side, and then looked at Bes again, as if to say to Bes “Come back here and fight you sissy!” Bes knew better, and kept on driving towards home.

The car brakes sounded and felt weird on the way. Bes parked near the house and started driving around and reversing once in a while, in order to check the brakes. The brakes kept rubbing against something and shaking the car from time to time. That was bad. A nearby mechanic was open, so Bes drove there very slowly, making sure no other nutty squirrels got threatened by nutty Bes along the way. The mechanic was going to close within 20 minutes, so an appointment was scheduled for Bes for the following day at 9 in the morning. The last time I checked, Bes was hoping the repairs do not cost too much. Otherwise, it would be hard to ask a brave squirrel to pay up half of the money for the unexpected adventure that both the squirrel and Bes had gone through over a small nut.

The squirrel is out there….

Bes decided to write about the interesting incident with the nut and the nutty squirrel instead of the nice topic that was brewing in Bes’s head earlier. That other nice topic shall be posted tomorrow. I am sure the squirrel is also telling other squirrels in Berkeley about Bes driving off and not wanting to fight a squirrel which was willing to give its life over a nut. Bes just hopes the squirrel does not know where Bes lives. Bes also hopes that the squirrel does not know about this post.

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