Many of us have them. Many of us want them. I am talking about friends. Usually, people consider others who agree with them a lot to be their good friends. In my view, we should have friends whether or not they agree with what we think. In fact, I would suggest having more friends who disagree with you than friends who agree with you on most things. Considering someone a good or trustworthy person simply because they agree with you a lot means you do not like people who have the strength to tell you that you may be wrong.

Disagreements teach us new things. Agreements tell us that someone else agrees with us. Would you prefer one over the other?

Disagreeing with someone because of logic does not make you evil, nor does it mean you are disrespecting. Disagreement shows that you have the ability to look at things differently. If your disagree logically, others should actually appreciate your disagreement as that allows them to look at things differently. To have a good relationship of any sort, the hard thing is not to find the right person who agrees with everything you say. The hard thing is to find the right person that you can co-exist with in the face of any disagreements.

If you try to find someone who agrees to everything you say, you are basically finding someone who will not show you anything new in life. The two of you will not learn much together, let alone teach each other anything new. Why would you look for relationships if you wanted to find someone exactly like you? Why not buy a mirror instead?

Disagreements online can help co-exist with others better

Making friends online should not depend on finding people with similar tastes. Making online friends should be based on how you feel around others. I notice a growing trend on many blogs where many people keep agreeing to everything many high profile profile bloggers have to say, even if requires giving up realistic logic. It is as if many people cannot think uniquely and differently, or are not strong enough to disagree and say “I have a different opinion.” Is friendship or respect supposed to be mostly based on feelings of trust and respect, or does friendship and respect depend on how much you agree with someone?

How being friends regardless of us agreeing or disagreeing works for me and my friend

Take Valerie as an example. We have less similarities in life than most offline friends do, yet we are good friends and communicate effectively on an almost daily basis. Why? Because we have one important similarity: we realize that we have differences, and we realize that having differences do not only amount to bad things. How do we continue to be friends? We always talk about the differences in opinions while focusing on the similarities and also understanding the different logics and reasons in things we explain and tell each other.

Disagreements make us realize that the other person has feelings and the ability to think on their own also. Valerie and I respect each other even more because of that realization. Similarities can bring people closer, and so can differences. Acknowledging the differences and realizing that we can co-exist with people who are different than us can create better levels of trusts than usual.

Maintaining friendship in a sea of agreements is good. Maintaining friendship in an ocean of disagreements can be even better.

When it comes to communicating with others, it does not matter whether or not there are more agreements or disagreements. The only thing that matters is if people can get along with each other even when there are differences or disagreements. That is one of the only ways to have a good friendship, a good long-term relationship, and even marriage, not necessarily in that order though. And not necessarily all of them with the same person either.