I just got a ride on a plane where the driver took me all the way from Oakland to Orange County. Of course, the driver in this case wanted to be called a pilot, sat behind steel doors, charged me about $250 for the ride, told me to fasten my seat belt from time to time, gave me a small bag of mint pretzels and a cup of water with ice, told me that she/he also acted as a cook who wanted to sell me sandwiches for 5 dollars each, told me when to turn off my cell phone and when to turn it back on, told me where to sit and how to sit and where to put my belongings, among other things.

I would like to tell you some similar things happening in my car. Last time, I told you about 7 things to avoid while getting a car ride from me. Today, I would like to tell you another set of 7 things that you can try to think about and avoid. Many of these things have happened to me on a regular basis, while some have happened once or twice.

All of these apply to you whether or not you are not a good friend, with the only difference being that I can tell good friends directly about how something affects me or how something may be unwarranted or what something may mean and imply.

This is the second part in the series.

Part 2 - Seven things for non-friends to avoid while getting a car ride from me

1. Telling the driver how to drive no matter how they drive

   Avoid telling the driver how to drive. Notice the words “Avoid telling” and not “Never tell” in this point. Avoid telling the driver how to drive if it is for small things that you yourself may be doing in some ways when you drive, or things that the driver may be used to while they drive. If the driver is driving fast and changing lanes very quickly, causing the whole car to suddenly tilt from time to time, you can go ahead and tell the driver to slow down as your life and safety is on the line. However, if the driver is driving and you keep telling her or him that they should drive with one hand on the wheel or both hands, as an example, try to think first if the current driving by the driver is dangerous or if the driver knows what she/he is doing and usually drives like that.

   I knew someone once who always told me not to show left/right turn signals when changing lanes, to stop completely at all stop signs, to always change lanes while maintaining same speed instead of slowing down to keep in the same lane, to honk at all other drivers who did not know how to drive, etc. Stop dictating everything: sure, tell me everything on your mind if you wish, but who cares which lane I drive in, as long as we get there on time and as long as I am driving safe?

2. Smoking, eating and drinking in the car without asking

   This is extremely important. I never try to eat in someone else’s car, and if I do, I eat as if my life depended on how clean I keep the car. I have had people who come into the car without knowing me much and starting to eat, drink or smoke right away. Forget that smoking kills or does any harm: I do not care about that since everyone around is usually already smoking and my lungs are starting to have DNA from other people on a regular basis. What I care about is the smell in the car: I get in the car and I can feel I am the Marlboro Man simply because my car smells like mint, tobacco and nicotine.

   One of the people who got a ride in my car would start lighting up the cigarette right in my car, and after smoking, she would ask where the ashtray was. My car does not have an ashtray, and she would honestly forget that every time. Then she would scramble around the car to look for something to put the cigarette buds in, while the ashes and the burnt cigarette bud pieces fell around my car. In the end, she would end up throwing the buds and the falling tobacco and smoked cigarette wrapper out of the window. Another guy used to eat his regular dose of Carl’s Jr. in my car and would usually leave some fries and lettuce that dropped from his mouth. If I can pick up leftovers from what adults eat and be good at it, maybe I can be a good parent and be good at cleaning up after babies too?

3. Throwing litter out of the window

   I am not sure how people who meet someone for the first time start throwing stuff out of those new people’s car from the minute they get in. And they do it while not caring about whether or not a cop might see them. If you throw stuff out of the car, it might hit some other car or the driver may get a ticket for littering. Forget the stereotypical advice “If you don’t throw trash in your home, why do you throw trash onto the streets?” That is a stupid message. What I am referring to is the idea of meeting someone for the first time, and throwing stuff out of the window without wondering whether or not the driver will be comfortable with it. It is your trash when it is being thrown out: it is the trash coming out of the car that belongs to the driver.

   I knew someone once who would go through his mail while in the car and any junk mail that he did not want, he would roll it up and throw it out of the window. I would always ask him what he threw out, but he would act as if I was asking a very sensitive question. Other people’s trash is not my business, I agree; however, my car is a driving vehicle and not a experimental garbage-shooting device for new people, so I would like to know what is being thrown out in case a cop stops us.

   Once a guy threw his soda can right through my driver-side window, instead of his passenger-side window, while we were driving on the freeway. The glass soda bottle hit my nose on the side and then flew out of the car. I immediately wondered if I had been attacked and the guy simply missed me. I started bleeding that very instant: I looked at the guy and said “What the $%^&!!??” The guy was genuinely sorry and said something along the lines of “OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY!! Just wanted to throw it out from your side since on my side there are cars and on your side there are no cars…didn’t think it would hit you SORRY ” Even then, what the heck?

4. Making extra stops without asking first

   Similar to getting extra passengers, if you have to make extra stops, tell the driver immediately. The driver may have something in mind, and they may also have to make stops of their own. Your new unexpected stops can result in the driver losing time and not being able to do things they changed or modified in order to accommodate your ride in the first place. Try to be very explicit and transparent when asking for favors. Even if you are robbing banks, tell the driver “I have to stop by these 4 banks to try to see if I can get a good student deal on a savings account.”

   I have had people wanting to go to banks, their friend’s places, shopping stores and even restaurants while on their way to someplace else. Many times, I end up canceling whatever I had originally planned. I do not mind making extra stops, since I usually prefer making extra stops many times myself too. What I do not understand is the claim that people forget to tell me they had to make the extra stops until they get in the car or when they get near a place. Some people have even told me “Oh, take this road, I prefer this road” and then when we get to a place where they want to make an unexpected stop using the road they told me to take, they say “Oh, I just remembered, I have to stop at so and so.” Maybe I should make dozens of unexpected stops while giving rides also.

5. Refusing to put on the seat belt

   This used to be a big deal before, when drivers used to get tickets for any passengers who had not put on their seat belts. Nowadays, anyone not putting on the seat belt gets into trouble themselves unless I am mistaken. However, when you get into someone else’s car for the first time, ask them if it is ok not to put on a seat belt. Ask if the other driver is ok with it; they would want to think over whether or not they are willing to go through a police pull-over because of the seat belt.

   I have had a few people who would meet me for the first time and sit up front and not put on their seat belts, even when I reminded or asked them if they could. Sure, they have a choice to say no when I ask them, but these people would actually get offended at me asking them about the seat belt. By the way, I hate putting on seat belts overall, and I never put on a seat belt when sitting in the back unless the drivers tells me to, which I also try to avoid if possible.

6. Leaving garbage in the car

   Many people think my car is a garbage trailer because my car is dark green. They will come in with food, cigarette wrappers, books and receipts, and they will usually leave something behind like napkins, lettuce, receipts, empty or even full soda drinks, etc. Why assume that someone is ok with the garbage that you yourself despise? Forget the rule “Do onto others that you want others to do to you.” Why would anyone want your garbage in their cars?

   I have had a few passengers come in my car and leave their full blown garbage behind, knowingly. They actually pick it up and put it on the back seat while they are leaving the car. Many people come in and leave a lot of their garbage as a memory tribute to me. The cute girl leaves me her McDonald’s bag as I might use it to carry my books and look at it to remember her. The smelly guy leaves the tomato so that I can smell it to remember how bad he smelled. The tall guy leaves his used napkins so I can clean my car with them and remember how he used to sneeze in them. The weird girl leaves her receipt for fast food in my car, every time, so that I can remember what she bought and so that I can remember the prices for different things that Jack in the Box sells.

7. Not locking the car doors when exiting the car

   Not all car doors have automatic locks. In fact, more cars have manual locks than automatic locks. That is why when you exit a car, make sure you get to lock at least your own door. If you go to someone’s house and exit from the back door while the house owner exits from the front and both of you are going to some other house, you will think about locking the back door, right? Try doing the same with the car, or at least try asking if the doors should be locked manually.

   I have had many people exit the car when we go to the movies or someplace else, and when I get back to the car, their side of the door was not locked. I have had many valuable belongings in the car many times, and each time the person simply asks “Ohh, you don’t have automatic locks?” If you see me opening the lock manually when I let you in the car, chances are the door locks are not automatic. If you do not see any automatic lock button on your side of the door or near the middle/center hand rest, chances are that the door locks are not automatic. I do not know of any car on this planet that has automatic locks and does not offer an automatic button to the passenger, so if you do not see an automatic lock button, the car most probably has manual locks. The only exception is a prison transportation vehicle. Unless I have a shotgun and keep pointing it at you while you wear an orange suit, chances are you are in my passenger car and the car does not have automatic door locks.

   It is a very good thing to ask when in doubt in such situations, unless you are ready to accept and replace anything that gets stolen or damaged.

14 things to avoid on your next ride with me - till the next part of this series at least

These are the 7 things to avoid or think about when getting a ride from someone you may not know. The reason I said before that these points apply to those people who are not your friends is to show that since you are not someone’s friend, you have to consider these points that may upset, annoy or frustrate the driver or the drivers’ friends in the same car, among other things.

What is your opinion about this? Have you experience any of these points yourself, either expectedly or unexpectedly, either as a driver, a passenger, or the person doing any of the above things?

Thanks for reading the 2nd part of the series. Please let me know if you wish for me to include any of your points in the grand finale of the series, with full credit to you of course. Stay tuned for the next part where many bizarre elements, like people other than the driver and the ride seeker, come into play to ensure that giving someone a car ride turns into a very dramatic experience.