The life of a keyboard
The life and lifelessness of anything can be explained if you look into it and if you can come up with ways to analyze the object in both unique and non-unique perspectives. The keyboard is an example of a life that should be explained, but usually is not.
Here I present to you the keyboard. I am using the new, laptop-integrated keyboard to tell you about the life of the original keyboard that started it all.
What is a keyboard?
So what is a keyboard? Or, what is the keyboard? Or even better, who is Keyboard? Keyboard is an input device. That is what they have been teaching for over 4 decades. Who are “they“? Who knows. Teachers, professors, programmers, non-computer people and everyone else views the keyboard as a way to type something into a computer. But the keyboard is much more than that.
A keyboard allows you to interact with the computer. You use the keyboard to convey a lot of your thoughts so that the stupid computer can understand it. Sure, the new robots can take over the world on their own without using a keyboard to type commands into their own brain, but they still use the input and output mechanism. The keyboard usually tries to provide us with the former. The original keyboard we are talking about here includes both the actual and original original 5-pound keyboard that plugs into a computer, and the actual keyboard that many people, who cannot easily type into a keyboard, use their eyes or touch or sound to command their computers to type through automatically.
But is the keyboard only a way for us to tell something to the stupid computer? No. A keyboard is much more than that. The meaning of the keyboard has been lost so much that talking about a keyboard itself qualifies as an archaic person in the eyes of many. Let me talk about the useful archaic nature of the keyboard in different ways, so that the keyboard and the concept of being archaic can be appreciated.
Transformation - new devices, on-screen monitors, etc
Slowly, gradually, and maybe surely, the keyboard is slowly slipping away from not only the minds of everyone and everything, but also from their access. We have touch based screens now, eliminating the need for the standard keyboard. We have styluses flirting with touch-based screens doing all the inputting, and we have hand-cuffed and non-handcuffed mouses running around, trying to bypass the powers that the keyboard had originally started to provide to others.
One of the biggest things was laptops. Oh yes, the laptops came with the keyboard built in. It made the original keyboard feel weird. It was not jealousy; it was a feeling that the real power will never be fully unleashed, and that the archaic powerhouse that can continue delivering forever was being replaced. Here was a replacement built into a replacement for the actual computer. Replacement within a replacement that was a replacement for a replacement. “Wow“, the keyboard thought. Aaah yes, the “Wow” that comes to mind not because of gratitude or complaint, but because of realizing what is being valued, what should be valued, and what is not being valued. It goes a bit along the lines of sadness, actually.
The keyboard is being evolved without its permission, and without it. It is being phased out with newer technology.
Abused when you get mad, ignored when you become happy
The keyboard is the most traumatized being in the computing world. When you get an e-mail from your ex or from a boss or a friend that you do not like, you first curse at the monitor. The monitor is used to hearing this, and the monitor, even though it has gone through a lot of therapy, can easily ignore you. The second rush of anger and frustrations lands on the keyboard: literally. You slam the keyboard, you smash it, you curse at it, you start typing really hard in order to vent your emotions or to express yourself while you react to the e-mail or anything that the monitor shows or does not show. Other forms of original keyboards from the earlier decades that were commanded using different methods like sign, sound and other things for people who could not easily type also suffered such madness: you either used them less, typed faster or cursed more at your touchless keyboards.
Of course, sometimes the monitor plays a game on the keyboard, if the keyboard was not nice or something. The monitor will show error messages or ugly emails from people you do not like. What happens then? You pound the keyboard. You try to break it. You try to assume that the person you hate is the keyboard, and you start taking revenge. Sometimes the monitor laughs. Sometimes the monitor starts ignoring. Sometimes the monitor goes “Oh $%^&“, after realizing the kind of psycho the keyboard is being beaten by.
The poor keyboard has suffered almost 40 years of such abuse. Even when the keyboard patient came to me for therapy, I could not do anything other than to listen and try to help the keyboard myself: the police does not allow keyboards to file restraining orders against their owners.
One of the real forms of depressions comes when you become happy and you do not express such happiness onto the keyboard. When was the last time you kissed the keyboard when you got a good email? The closest you have come to showing affection is to not slam on the keyboard when you are happy. The keyboard is a very thankful entity, since the keyboard is happy with not being abused whenever there is a chance of being abused.
Feelings, broken relationships with mouse and others, etc
The mouse was the first and only true sidekick to the keyboard. It was more of a handcuffed relationship, where both the keyboard and the mouse were handcuffed to a machine that controlled both of them. Together, the keyboard and the mouse gave millions of people ways to control and dominate and make a slave out of the machine called “a computer.” And the keyboard and the mouse did it all while being handcuffed.
Then one day they witnessed something bizarre. There were new slaves on the block. It is not yet known which one came first, but all of a sudden, slowly but surely, the new keyboard and mouse duo were coming over to replace these previous handcuffed slaves. What was so special about these new replacements? After all, they were also going to do the exact same job as the original keyboard and mouse? Well, there was only one different thing about these replacements. This difference would mark an era of new advancements that would make the original keyboard realize that not only was the end near for the original mouse, but also for the keyboard her/him/itself.
The new replacement keyboard and mouse were not handcuffed. They would operate with a lot of cooperation without the need to be tied to a gigantic machine that was almost 30 times their size. “Fear“, the new keyboard thought. It probably was fear, a fear so great that even without any way to hold them down, these new keyboard and mouse duo would not run away. Sure, they would sometimes not obey orders, but such disobedience would result in either replacement of blood through torturing experiments or in complete disappearance with new replacements replacing the replacements which were meant to replace the originals. Even if it was not fear, the keyboard and the mouse realized what was going on.
So important, yet so uncared for
The keyboard usually does not get much attention, even after going through events such as seeing his/her/its own replacement. The keyboard gets the least care in many houses, even though it is the most widely used external peripheral along with the monitor. The monitor screen gets cleaned more regularly than a keyboard. You can drop something on the keyboard, but you cannot drop anything on the monitor. If your monitor gets a scratch, you try to repair the monitor or get a new one. If your keyboard gets scratched, harassed, molested, beaten up and more, you try to replace the broken keys or you keep using it as long as the buttons are there. For the original keyboards commanded through sound or movement of other devices for people who cannot type easily into the keyboard, such an aura of uncare also stems onto such keyboard systems in different ways. Of course, usually, if your mouse gets dirty, you clean it. You can easily pound on a keyboard key if it does not push easily, but you will not abuse a mouse if its buttons or its ball bearing does not work properly.
Of course, the keyboard is thankful that you keep using the keyboard after such incidents, since throwing away the keyboard in the trashcan is not good in my eyes or in the eyes of the keyboard.
Where it’s headed?
Just like other things that aid others with utmost honesty and no self interest and whose status is considered archaic, the original keyboard is being aimed at the darkness. The dark side is willing to accept the keyboard, but not you. You prefer the wireless keyboard, the built-in keyboard in laptops and desktops, and you prefer manual dials and the mini-wireless mouse and the touch-screen monitors which have they keyboard software and recognition built in.
To make sure the meaning is understood: Keyboards do have some self interest. They want to help and they want to be helped or liked or listened to, like many others. Of course, like many of us, keyboards remain quiet, they keep doing their work, they keep helping in every way possible, and they keep going through the stages of not being thanked or appreciated simply because they do not know a world where they can manipulate like others. The original keyboard gets plugged into a world and it wants to start working right away. Little does the keyboard know that it is archaic, for the new ideas keep stemming up simply because they can stem up.
The life of the keyboard
That is the life of the keyboard. May all the universe realize the real reason of the keyboard and the reason behind its behavior, even if the real reason behind its life cannot be easily understood, or if such a reason is considered unimportant by everyone who wants to stop dreaming about the original, wired keyboard. It is time I stop using my laptop-keyboard in order to end this micro-biography of the keyboard: my laptop-keyboard cannot understand why anyone, even an archaic person like me, wants to talk about the original archaic keyboard.
Have you ever met the original keyboard? Do you still know or remember the original keyboard?
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( February 25th, 2008 at 5:15 am )
Thanks for the post Bes. I should have paid you $1200 for this post instead of to the nitwit of a professor that I had for my Computer Information Systems class. ;D
( February 25th, 2008 at 9:08 pm )
Actually, I DO remember that original archaic keyboard, as I am still using it even as you are reading this blog.
I think that all parts, or most of the parts on computers will keep becoming obsolete, because they are constantly making new and improved versions of EVERYTHING…
It won’t be long now until we will be reading about the ‘life of the attached speakers’, and/or the ‘life of the handcuffed CPU’. Computers are almost as bad as cars the minute they are driven off the lot… there is a newer, better, higher rated version/model there to take it’s place. No matter what it is… it cannot ‘go back in time’, and ‘better itself’ any longer. It IS WHAT IT IS… lol
Todd
( February 27th, 2008 at 3:42 am )
haha,gud.
Nice to read the article.let me tell you, this article brought my attention towards the keyboard.I cleaned my keyboard today. LOL!
I,However, missed some pics of the keyboards.if you could have added pics of some old keyboards of 80’s or maybe 90’s, i would have loved this article.
( February 27th, 2008 at 6:35 am )
Who would think writing about the keyboard? Really great post…made me shake all those embedded staple wires.
( February 29th, 2008 at 11:37 am )
hehe, what an interesting post. You are a computer genious, hehe jk! It was pretty funny though.
( March 1st, 2008 at 8:39 pm )
Great article…I will never look or think about my keyboard the same way again. I would never have even thought to take a look at a keyboard like this.
-Jon
( March 4th, 2008 at 12:57 am )
heyyyy pepzzz,it nice to be a human but not a keyboard heaehhh,,,we are just under stimating the keyboard not realizing how helpful they are to us people…..
( March 5th, 2008 at 9:06 pm )
Well, technology grows so fast, the innovations for devices changes rapidly.. How sad for those “abused keyboards” … I love my keyboard, I clean it everyday!
( March 12th, 2008 at 3:48 am )
Yes you’re right. They even say we’ll have intouchable keyboards soon. So noone will be able to abuse
( March 12th, 2008 at 12:07 pm )
I always found it fascinating how the QWERTY keyboard came to be popularized. There are some competing computer keyboard layouts, some of which supposedly allow even faster typing. I think there is a way to configure it under windows XP that you can try these alternate layouts. (even using a qwerty keyboard). Though I suppose you would be hard pressed to find one of these alternative layout keyboards in any store, you’d have to buy one online.
( March 14th, 2008 at 7:39 am )
haha, great post! i now have new found respect for my keyboard. i might also go home tonight and dig out an old keyboard i bought in my 486 days. might even bake it some cookies and milk.
( March 17th, 2008 at 8:25 pm )
Great Post! I never given such thought to a keyboard. I think Keyboard is the most used accessory of a computer and it is the most negated one as well.
Thanks for sharing.
( March 19th, 2008 at 8:45 am )
I use the keyboard everyday for hours at a time and work and I have to honestly say this is the first I have ever stopped to thing exactly what it is that it does for me. Man the keyboard sure opens up a whole new world! Thanks for opening my mind even more!
( March 20th, 2008 at 6:29 am )
Now a day, I work with computer daily. so keyboard is my buddy beside mouse!
( March 22nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm )
Hey asshole - what a waste of time. You are an idiot. Burn in hell, dipshit. Thanks for stealing time out of my life. What an idiot.
( March 24th, 2008 at 8:19 pm )
All right, “The Voice of Reason.” What’s your problem? How about you stand up like a man (or woman) and let us see who you are? Or you’re afraid to? You’d rather try to insult people from behind a computer screen for no reason, hmm? I mean, you can’t even seem to formulate a logical response or reason for your anger. Grow up.
( March 27th, 2008 at 4:39 pm )
Hello,
I’m Chad Smith - and I left the comment as the so-called “Voice of Reason” and I was anything but. The fact is, I was involved in an argument about some stupid minute point of techno-preference with the author on another blog, and I foolishly, childishly, cowardly, and angrily took my emotions out here, hoping to do so anonymously.
However, even without IP evidence, that the author could easily have used to find me out, the timing of the attack, along with its pointlessness and rage, left as much of a calling card as if I had signed it with my real name.
Bes, There is no excuse for what I said. My anger was not with you, I have my own issues (as we all do) that I haven’t been dealing with - and I took it out on you, and I was wrong. I am sorry. And I beg your forgiveness. Truly. Will you forgive me, please?
Readers - I apologize to you as well for putting such filth before your eyes. I don’t want to make it sound worse than it was, I am sure you’ve seen worse things on the web - but it is still something I had no right or reason to make you see. And I am sorry.
The fact is, I knew better. I knew it was wrong. I knew I had no reason to be this mad, but I said what I said anyway. I am an idiot, and I am wrong. And I am sorry. It will not happen again.
And, by the way, nobody else knew about my actions - so please do not blame them for my words. And I was the one who tried to hide who I was, so anyone who said it wasn’t me was only doing so because I hid my identity.
( April 1st, 2008 at 7:54 am )
Strange things happening here..smile
I heared of a new devide to write with a pencil on a foil.
You can transfor your writings to the comp or even a mobil to send it as sms.
I like it more than any keyboard..
( April 2nd, 2008 at 10:11 am )
Really Nice Post. What should I expect next
( April 10th, 2008 at 2:19 pm )
I was told that you can put a keyboard in a dishwasher if you want to clean it… is this true? : /
I spilled soda on mine and it’s messed up.
( April 13th, 2008 at 3:43 am )
thanks for the post, I have been reading a few posts here now and again but this one really has me hooked, please keep blogging, it is one of my favorite.
( April 16th, 2008 at 12:19 pm )
I’m going to teach my keyboard how to do tricks.
( April 17th, 2008 at 9:21 am )
Excellent article! It changed my perspective about my keyboard.
( April 28th, 2008 at 12:04 pm )
My sister showed me a laser keyboard the other day, you put in on something flat, and it lasers / or projects a keyboard right in front of your eyes, its the most amazing gadget I have seen so far.
( April 30th, 2008 at 1:29 am )
Very nicely written
Lol man it took so much time to read ..juts wondering how much time it took u to compose
( July 4th, 2008 at 7:43 pm )
thank you very good post i have added it to my delicious !
( July 4th, 2008 at 10:49 pm )
[...] The life of a keyboard at The Reasoner [...]
( July 5th, 2008 at 2:31 pm )
Some very interesting information on keyboards. You have presented a very unique tidbits that I will try out.
( July 6th, 2008 at 5:53 pm )
Great post! I never thought about a keyboard that way. A keyboard is used so much in our dialy lives that we don’t even think about it.