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The below Twitter messages exist just because Twitter exists, and just because one can Twitter, and because one cannot think of any other reason to Twitter, and just to increase Twitter followers³. It seems that the same mentality that has turned innocent blogs into money making professional-services-claiming-to-be-blogs and the non-blog arena into website-filled-with-keywords-and-tags-to-please-search-engines world has also flooded Twitter: people keep describing Twitter and similar services with as many complicated terms and terminologies as possible so that the end result will be more direct or indirect money somehow by making people think “Wow, this is useful because it is sophisticated. I’ma gonna use it! COOL!”

It is as if the fact “Bes eats because there is food” has become the universal law upon which Twittering for many people revolves around. They Twitter because there is Twitter. So I present to you 14 Twitter messages that should help you realize as to what the focus of the message is, and what the real focus should be. Keep in mind that the poster of such messages had no reason behind the message other than to Twitter it. You decide what you would want your focus and reasoning to be for each message if you had a chance.

1. In the bathroom.
2. Out of the bathroom. Realized I only went in there to Twitter that I was in the bathroom.
3. Throwing up while typing this. Food poisoning. Crap got some on the phone
4. She is confused as to why I am Twittering during this interview. Just ask me the questions.
5. This exam sucks and the moderator keeps looking as if I was cheating through my cell phone.
6. Waiting for the cash register to process this sale, holding the customer credit card in my other hand.
7. In police station. Handcuffed. Drunk-driving-over-rabbits-offense. Thank god they didn’t take phone away. I can twitter w/phone behind me.
8. I woke up.
9. Neighbors woke up.
10. With my boy friend. He doesn’t know he is my boy friend yet.
11. Wife woke up. $&^%
12. Following this stranger, a beautiful girl, for hours now. Hope she doesn’t notice; I’m only following to make sure she gets home safe.
13. I am Twittering because this is Twitter.
14. I am Twittering so Bes can talk about me.

There you go, my Twitter loving or Twitter hating or Twitter confused beings⁴. The above Twitter messages, and many other Twitter updates on similar notes have no purpose for them. Many people simply use Twitter to let everyone else know what they are doing, while others do it to gain attention through more Twitter followers or through the stereotype that the more you Twitter, the cooler you are.

Of course, the funniest thing is to see how many Twitter-obsessed people have no communication skills, no interest in making real friends, no interest in the well being of others, and no interest in how to focus on content instead of creating a hype through presentation.

Thank you for reading and not Twittering.

I will stop here please, so I can think of what to Twitter now. I hope I made you pause your Twitter for at least a few moments. Please let me know what you think, if you have any comments, or if you would like to see more of such messages or would like to share your own messages or ideas.

Thank you for reading. You can get back to your pro-Twitter or anti-Twitter activities now. I will go back to being confused and giggling nervously in my head⁵.

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This series will take you through a maze of different kinds of relationship trends, aimed at people who are dating, engaged, seeing someone, married, sexually involved, interested, trying to learn more about dating or the myth called “a good relationship“, or something similar. Please realize that the tolerance level in different people regarding relationships is different, and thus some people may give up on a relationship the very moment they notice any of the trends listed in this series, while other let-me-keep-trying-hope-is-in-sight people like me, have in the past kept trying to fix things for a long, long time. You decide how much you can tolerate, and then take actions accordingly. Only let people, who know the whole story or most of the story of your relationship, advice you on whether or not you should end or change your relationship.

This guide focuses on both men and women, and is not limited to only a man-to-a-woman relationship. It includes man-to-a-man, woman-to-a-woman, and woman-to-a-man¹ relationships. The post also does not intend to take your side: you may very well be the very cause of the mentioned trends, and your significant other may be the victim. Hopefully if you are the cause, reading this series will help you realize how you may be doing certain things consciously or unconsciously that may be putting your significant other through mental or physical problems that they should not be put through.

What if I am a man and abused?

You are not alone if you are a man whose heart has been broken before². Relax. For stereotypical reasons, societies today expect females to be more emotional and males to be more “manly“, a term that describes the stereotypical things and traits associated with stereotypical males. Women are not the only victims of abuse, and many males do not report abuse or ask their friends about relationships because they feel ashamed. People might say “What kind of a man are you who feels sad about the relationship? Dump her/him and move on! Remember, you da maaaan!” Even last week I heard someone tell his friend: “What kind of a man are you? You can’t even control one chick, and you expect to be successful in life?” Such is the mentality we hold in life when it comes to the role of genders on our planet.

As a male, the first thing you have to realize is that while majority of the people and mentalities, including the ideas in this article that you are reading, may hint at women being more abused than men, acknowledging the problem in your relationship in your own mind and heart is a very good step to take. Who cares what others think? If you cannot tell others that you feel sad about a relationship, that is fine for now: not being able to admit in public or to others that you can have emotions is a problem that can be tackled later. For now, your focus is on the problem in the relationship. You may be stuck with an aggressive female or a stereotypical girl who is not happy when you act non-stereotypically. Apply everything in this series to yourself, even if you come across an example that mentions females instead of males.

Whether it is a girl or a guy that broke your heart or hurt you deeply, and you are still in a relationship with that person, be sure to think only of the relationship and not your gender when it comes to thinking about the question “Should I even be worried about this, or should I just ignore it and try to be more macho?” The day you start realizing how to look at issues without putting gender into the question will be the day you can start realizing why things are happening. Forget what the society expects from you if you think something is harmful for you and harmful for someone else who is innocent: if in your lifetime you can tell your family even once that their decisions or thoughts may go against what you wish, why is it hard for you to let someone as distant as the society know that you wish to live your life based on what you think is right, and not what the society thinks is right for you? This same society is what bound females into the current male-dominated society. Do not allow the society to keep you tied to the same macho-position in this male-dominated world. Even if in the end you want to be a macho, be sure to make that decision based on your own thinking, without any influence from the society.

Please keep in mind that I am slowly working my way towards discussing such things in more detail also: I am starting from one side and working my way up to help both you and myself understand the situation from some principle, and then branching into other areas based on some form of thinking, logic and reasons based on what I consider is ethical or at least better and the right thing. Also remember one of the important rules: you may hate what the other person does or you may even hate the other person, but do not hate the other gender because of what a single person or a group of people does to you.

3 relationship trends that slowly kill the abused heart

Today we will start with 3 things happening in a relationship that should make you realize that ending or changing the relationship may be the answer to such a trend. We will start today from the trends that revolve around simpler physical and mental torture, to more definite tortures related solely to mental and physical attributes in the next parts of the series. Today we cover the trends of you doing all the work in a relationship, to you not being appreciated for what you do in a relationship, to the other person not doing much or anything for you in a relationship. So please sit down, relax, take a deep breath, hold on to those “will-fall-in-real-love-one-day” or “I-am-always-right-since-I-am-the-man/woman” thoughts in your heart, and start reading below.

1. You do all the work to keep the relationship running.

   This one is very simple to grasp, as the title says it all, yet very difficult to be realized. You, in the relationship, do most of the things to keep yourself and the other person happy in life. This point usually affects females, since we still live in a male-dominated world³. Basically, you are responsible for everything important and critical in the relationship. If you do something wrong, the relationship suffers. If the other person does something wrong, the relationship does not suffer.

   Taking the example of a female in a relationship, like a girlfriend or a wife: if she has to cook, take care of children, clean the house, manage things around the house for the male, manage and handle the money, while the husband only brings in money or does things that are good for his own self and does not love the female⁴, chances are that the relationship is one sided and the female is not an equal in the relationship. Such relationships can be seen in majority of the world, where the popular term, house wife, has come into play billions of times in different houses around the world. One partner does all the work and is always left behind or separate, while the other one does no work and is always ahead and in a better position and control.

   The sad thing is, many of such wives are happy with their situation and prefer to be in a household where the man controls their destinies⁵ and the man dictates the major decisions in life, while the major actions are performed by the female. How can you tell someone who knows what is happening and is satisfied with it, to change their life? It is hard, very very hard. You can force them to change or get out, but then you would be imposing your opinion onto their life, which would be the same thing their husbands or significant others do. If a person is happy with abuse or with being led forward by someone else, how can you easily change their life for the sole reason of making it happier? The solution can be either to let such people be happy in their lives, or to make such people go through a lot of interaction with others to be able to slowly create an idea of the depths and extents of other ideas and opinions; I will not go into that, as that can be the topic of another post.

   If you are in a relationship where you do everything and the other person, regardless of their gender, reaps all the benefits, try to figure out why you are in the relationship. Are you in it because you want to do all the work? Are you in it because you like to be told what to do? Are you in it because you are desperate to be with anyone and you do not want to be single? Are you in it because you love the other person so much that you are willing to let them dictate your life? Are you in it because you love the other person for being in control and you feel weak? You decide the answers to the above question, and then decide if you want to end such a relationship.

2. You are rarely appreciated.

   Ever seen a teenager gangster wannabe with low pants, long shirts, and no skill to earn money on his own? You will usually hear such a guy say “I don’t give a damn what others think fool!” Let me tell you something. Such gangster show-off wannabe’s are the most attention-wanting species in your neighborhood, and they care a lot about what others think. That is why they dress in such a manner, rarely apologize, rarely act considerate, and rarely show a human side that does not try to portray itself as being superior to others. Try it yourself: keep looking at such gangsters and they will get irritated, nervous, intimidated and they will end up saying “What the hell you looking at?” So much for them not caring “what others think fool!”

   In a relationship, you should be the opposite of a gangster child. Whether you are a guy or a girl, your relationship is affected greatly by many questions, including the question of whether or not you want the other person to think positively about you and appreciate you. While majority of the females are used to hearing “You look so beautiful” from guys⁶, real people who want real relationships can slowly realize whether or not they are being sincerely appreciated by their significant others. The same way you get bored and even annoyed hearing “Wow you are such a good person” from people who never help you when you need help but they say such things when they need your help, why would you accept a relationship where you are rarely appreciated sincerely?

   A relationship does not only exist to allow two people to avoid suicide⁷, but to live lives together and to sincerely let the other person know that their actions and thoughts are helping the other person, among a few other things. Such appreciation should come naturally and not at times when you are stuck in a situation or when you feel that appreciating the other person will get that person off your back. Still, many relationships exist where one person, usually the female, is rarely appreciated. This happens when there is an assumed mentality that the female is expected to do something.

   Have you ever noticed that stereotypical guys start appreciating more when they are aroused? Have you ever noticed that stereotypical girls start appreciating more when they need attention? All of such appreciation is stereotypical. Where is the real, sincere appreciation that comes even when the appreciation-giver does not need anything in return? When couples have fights, they start appreciating in order to show they should be forgiven. Have you ever seen someone in a relationship appreciate things after everything is over, and after the relationship ends? Of course not. We do not see such appreciation after a relationship ends, because then there is no more sex, money, attention or support. The only time when appreciation could be the most sincere is the time we start ignoring appreciation on purpose. And we wonder why majority of the couples in Northern and Southern Americas end up splitting even after 40+ years of marriage or being together.

   Why should you thank a person who breaks your window while drunk and then fixes it the next day when you catch him? Why should you thank your roommate for turning off the lights at night while you sleep? Why should you thank your neighbor for keeping the volume down at night when you sleep? Why should you thank your boss for paying you, when you do hard work that deserves money as a reward? Why should you thank a cop for not giving you a ticket when he/she does not even stop you? Why should you thank the credit card company for taking your money for the monthly bills? Why should you thank your wife for having children and going through pain that you as a man will rarely go through, when she is having children in a relationship that are not only for herself but for you also? Why should you thank your husband for earning money when he himself agreed to such an arrangement and you agreed to such an agreement also by marrying him?

   If you can realize any difference in the validity in each and every one of the above questions and the related concept of appreciation, you probably have the ability to realize when and why to appreciate someone. The choice is yours whether or not you want to appreciate. The choice and decision is also yours whether or not you wish to be in a relationship where the other person takes for granted what you do for yourself, for the relationships and for the other person.

3. You are not given any significant focus.

   There is a difference between appreciation and focus. Appreciation usually happens when the other person is reacting to your actions, letting you know somehow that he/she is very happy or satisfied and grateful that you are doing something that the other person likes, including the very act of staying in a relationship. Giving focus, on the other hand, can be viewed as the original action. If someone is appreciating you because you cared for them while they were sick, it is usually because you focused part of your life on that sick person. Thus, appreciation is the reaction if you wish to look at it from that view, and focus is the action. You focus on something, and get appreciated in return. We talked about appreciation in the above point. Let us now put our minds on the concept of having your significant other do things for you as part of their focus in life: them doing things without you asking for such things or without you doing things first.

   A lot of relationships have people that give majority of the focus in their life to things outside of the relationship. Again, usually, the victim of such a trend is the female. While many girls and ladies are all right with having money and not caring what their significant others do, majority of the guys end up not caring much about their significant others other than thinking that they are properties that are to be handled. This mentality results in husbands and many boyfriends not focusing on the essential parts of the female’s lives, like things they care about, things that affect their thinking and their mentality. Basically, these are the things that should affect any ethical being, and stereotypical people who constitute the majority fail to notice such ethical views of thinking.

   Think about your relationship as a bond: why are you with the other person when you cannot focus on the important things in their life without them doing something first? You focus on the other person but the other person does not return or give any focus. You do not have to lie from time to time simply to make the other person feel happy: I always told my ex I hated going shopping, yet I went, I complained, I walked around and also sincerely offered honest suggestions about different things. I slowly got used to it and never lied that I had no problems with it. Now here is the funny thing: slowly, when I went shopping for my own clothes, I realized that I had started taking longer times shopping for my own self also, and my ex had started developing an appetite for shopping faster than me. We had basically switched places. When I realized this, I started being more considerate on my own, and my ex realized this too.

   For guys, it is not that they have other focuses of attention other than shopping. That is a myth. Usually, when guys view girls as sexual objects⁸, they end up not respecting a lot of things the girls do. The guys themselves end up faking a lot of things like enjoying shopping or talking about random things or even cooking. This is similar to the extra love you see coming from guys around Valentine’s Day, with guys trying to shower the girl with random gifts as if buying dog food for the dog. And of course, guys expect a lot of intimacy in return since they are doing so much for the girl as part of the original focus⁹. It is very funny for me to see that the very humane and nice things that everyone should do on a normal basis, like showing emotions or doing nice things without expecting something in return, are considered to be weird. It is also funny that doing things sincerely we may not like, but that our significant other may like, while also being honest in our efforts to help the other person, are considered too soft by majority of the people, and usually attributed to being a quality of the sensitive females. And we say we do not live in a male dominated society.

   If your significant other usually lies about showing interest in your life or your significant other does things in order to get something in return like money or sex, your significant other is not doing things that focus on you. People have their own lives, agreed, but relationships are about both maintaining individualism and a shared life at the same time. I have rarely heard of guys who cook something for their girl friends and do not seek something in return. Stereotypical guys will want intimacy or some favor in return. How about cooking something and simply wanting to hear “Food tasted good” in return and nothing else? Maybe I cooked really bad food most of the time, so I longed to hear only “Hmm, wow tastes good, nice job! Next time try adding more salt and that will fix the taste completely“, so I always have tried to focus on fewer or no rewards in relationships other than the mental ones.

Initiating the change to eliminate the above trends

In many situations and areas, you cannot simply end a relationship because of situations like having a child or because of being in a marriage where it is not easy for a female or a male to take a break from an abusive or uncaring relationship unless the other person asks for it first. In such cases, start looking for outside consultation and legal help, but also maintain a very quiet atmosphere¹⁰. See what your options are, how you can try to improve things, how you can try to make the other person realize that they can act differently in some areas of the relationship to make things easier and happier for you.

Remember one thing: anyone who tells you “Never try to change or ask someone in a relationship to change for you: accept people 100% for what they are” are fools and not your friends; such people are those who do not change anything in the world and wish to be dictated around because they are too weak to realize something may be wrong in different things in the universe. Sure, love a person for what he/she already is, but also let them know what to do in order for the relationship to click. Relationship does not happen because you look for a compatible person: relationship happens because you look for a person who is willing to be compatible with you.

Till next time

There you go, my relationship-advice-mastering of a reader. The above 3 points, from personal experience and from observation of other people’s relationships, will hopefully tell you more about the ways some relationships are fatal. Many people expect others to do all the work or majority of the work in a relationship, which will be bad for you, regardless of whether you are the person expecting the work or the person doing the work. Many people also do not realize the efforts their significant others make in order to please them, and instead treat most of the things as being expected, or with a mild and fake show of appreciation. Lastly for this article, and not least for this series, there are many people who never try to take any initiative to do things for you to show any kind of appreciation for anything on a sincere and honest level.

The above trends and situations can let you know whether or not something is happening in the relationship, due to the other person in the relationship, which may make you unhappy being in that relationship. Instead of telling your significant other this very moment “Yo! I read this thing that Bes wrote, and I finally realized that you don’t appreciate me! I’m outta here loser! You can’t control my life!“, you should actually think as to what makes you unhappy or unsatisfied and talk to your significant other about it. If that does not change things or if you have already talked about it, you decide what you would like to do. Remember, in the end, it may always be the hardest for you since you are the one enduring or ending the relationship.

Thank you for reading

Next time, I will talk about relationships that have certain trends related to sex, money and your gender. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or ideas on how some of the above things or trends may be different from what you observe. Also, please let me know via e-mail or through the comments if you wish to find out my views on certain trends that you may have noticed. I have about 13 trends planned out so far: I will be more than satisfied and grateful if I can find more trends that may be hurting people in relationships. Maybe I will come across a trend that has affected me in the past, or I may learn of a new trend that I had not previously thought about or experienced. Also, please let me know if you wish to see this series in a little bit different format that may help you read and understand the series better and in a more organized manner. If you noticed a recurring trend in the above 3 points, here it is again as a summary: one person simply enjoys the relationship due to the efforts of someone else doing all the work and giving all the appreciation and focus.

Till then, thank you for reading, relax, and be happy that you are going to hopefully realize more things about relationships from this series, things you may have thought are too small or important to be analyzed. Figure out what problems you are facing in your relationship and why, bring them up to the attention of the person who is causing such problems, and then decide what you would like to do.

Thank you for reading.

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The following 7 things should be avoided if you are a newcomer to my car and my life. Of course, if you are a friend, I will let you know how such things may be affecting the car, me, my driving habit, or Mars.

1. Opening the car windows without asking

   In some parts of the world, the temperature of the atmosphere inside the car may not change much, regardless of whether or not the car windows are open. In California and many other states, opening the car window can seriously alter the temperature. If it is freezing outside and I have the air conditioner at full or even medium heat, you coming into the car and opening the window immediately will cause the whole project of turning on the heater in my poor car for a long time to heat things up to fail. Similarly, in the scorching heat, opening the car door or the window without thinking first will let out all the cold air, and will take another 5-10 minutes to be recreated at its previous state. If you are wearing a big coat or only a t-shirt, ask and let me know so I can prepare myself too, or maybe I can offer you my extra jacket or somehow stop the car so you can take off your extra jacket.

   One person used to get in my car with his thick jacket and then open the window immediately while the heater was running at fast speed. I would tell him I was freezing and that I can turn down the heater or even turn it off, and he would start telling me that he was feeling hot, and if there was a way to turn up the cold air in the car somehow. He would say all of this while he kept the car window open and kept his thick jacket on. By the time he would close the window, the entire car would be freezing. When it comes to me, just assume there is a reason for everything. If in doubt, ask and think. Getting into a warm car wearing a thick jacket while in the cold weather outside means you may have to endure about a minute or two of the change in temperature and adjustment while you get used to the inside weather. Taking off your jacket instead of making the other person uncomfortable is a very good alternative, and if you cannot take off the jacket easily while sitting down, ask me to stop somewhere or to watch out while you sway your hands all around the place in an effort to take off your own jacket.

2. Spitting out of a moving car

   Spitting out of a car is not only rude for many people, it is also illegal in many areas. And guess who usually gets a ticket or gets into trouble? The driver of the car. If you have to spit for any reason, come up with some alternative or tell me to pull to the side.

   Long time ago a friend of mine was driving and I was a passenger in his car. He tried on a mouth wash while driving, and forgot that he had to spit out the mouth wash after about 30 seconds since the mouth wash would start burning really bad after that. Well, we were on the freeway and he was in pain after about 2 minutes of trying to hold the mouth wash. I laughed, I giggled, and I told him to simply spit it out in some lane where there were no cars since he was in pain. There were no side shoulders that he could not pull over on. He kept the acid in his mouth for about 15 minutes, probably to the point that the pain had turned into something else and he was starting to act weird. He was smiling too, but was in pain at the same time. When the first exit came, he took it and spat the mouthwash out. I asked him if he was ok. He said yes, and said that it would have been mean or bad to spit the acid out in case the “spit” hit some other car.

   Now compare that to a passenger I had in my car who was eating some fast food. He accidentally ate some small dust particle or hair or something, and could feel it on his tongue. He started hissing and spitting with a bit closed mouth, as if to try to get rid of whatever was in his mouth that did not belong there. And he did that while in the car. I had drops of spit all over my dashboard and the gearbox. He did not apologize, he did not care, he did not even joke about it. It was all normal to him. It was normal to me too, but normal as being normally bad.

3. Having the driver pick up unexpected extra passengers

   One of the worst things you can do to a driver giving you a ride is to tell them at the last minute that some of your other friends need a ride too. Whether those extra passengers live near or far is not the focus of this point: keeping the driver in the dark and then making them do extra things is the same as lying, hiding, manipulating or simply not caring. Ask the driver first, and have the extra passenger ask and thank the driver also for doing a favor to someone they are not that close to.

   I have had so many “Oh also go here, we have to pick up my girlfriend/boyfriend boss/friend homie/buddy etc“, it is very interesting. If I charged money for every extra passenger I have given a ride to, I could have made a lot of money that could have gone towards years of gas payments.

4. Not allowing the driver to make his/her own stops

   Not all drivers have to drive only to give you a ride. Some have to do their own things. If someone gives you a ride and they stop somewhere, do not get upset: you should tell the driver in advance uf you have to get somewhere by a certain time, and you should also realize that you may be late since it is someone else’s car.

   I once stopped at a gas station to buy some Kit Kat while giving someone a ride and when I got back, they looked all upset and kept hinting that they do not like making stops while going somewhere. If you have to get somewhere on time or if you have some requirements, you should keep in mind that I have some requirements too. Accommodate the driver into your plans, since apparently the driver has already accommodated you into their life and car by giving you a ride.

5. Giving instant directions

   If you have to tell the driver to make a right, tell them about it a minute or even 20 seconds before the “right” comes up. Telling the driver to make a right when the very intersection he/she has to make a right on is already intersecting the length of car itself, is usually not a good thing for many cars.

   I have people who even say “Right here, oh damn you missed the exit.” Yeah, I missed the exit, not you. Such instant-direction givers cannot even tell me to turn right on time, but they expect me to turn a multi-ton car instantly while other cars go parallel to mine. Tell me in advance or simply say “We have to make a right soon” so I can be ready for your instant orders.

6. Not pitching in for gas

   If you are getting a ride from someone, specially a new person, see if it is costing them a lot to give you a ride. Going on a long drive or going shorter distances regularly consumes gas, and gas is money. It does not matter whether or not gas is cheap: someone is giving you a ride and they are losing/spending money on top of it. See if you can chip in some money, or tell the driver that you do not have money to chip in so that driver can at least realize that you calculated their misery into the equation also.

   I have had people’s friends ask me for rides to faraway places, and on the way when I fill up the car at a gas station, they do not offer anything nor do they care about it. They simply wait in the car to make sure that I get back on the road again as soon as possible.

7. Not knowing the exact directions to where you are going

   Imagine getting in a car and telling someone to take you to a place that you do not know the location about. Unless it’s a major place or you know the nearest intersection, the driver will not know where you are going.

   I have had people get in the car and then tell me to head towards a city, and then when I get close and ask them where to go, they tell me “McDonald’s there, have to meet some people.” There are usually several McDonald’s in each city, so I have to do some searching and hunting while the passenger gets impatient over being late. It is a waste of time and a waste of energy for the driver. If you want a ride, know where you want to go or let the driver know well in advance, before the actual ride, that you do not know the exact directions.

   “I want to get to the Thai restaurant in Berkeley“, Berkeley being a city with dozens of Thai restaurants, is the same as wanting to go to a specific gas station or a restaurant in a city but not knowing the name, type of place of that gas station or restaurant. Have directions ready, or at least do some homework and have something for the driver to go on. If you let the driver know in advance that you want to go somewhere but do not know how to get there, the driver may be nice enough to do the homework for you.

There you go. The above 7 points, combined with Part 1 and Part 2, tell you about the 21 things to avoid or think about when getting a ride from someone you may not know, or me. The reason I said before that these points apply to those people who are not your friends is to show that since you are not someone’s friend, you have to consider these points that may upset, annoy or frustrate the driver or the drivers’ friends in the same car, and among other things, cause the driver to lose time and money. Friends can easily tell friends “What the heck! haha hmmm :p” and thus teach friends how some actions or things may result in more harm than good for the driver.

What is your opinion about this? Have you experience any of these points yourself, either expectedly or unexpectedly, either as a driver, a passenger, or the person doing any of the above things?

Thank you so much for reading. I enjoyed writing this series for you. Please let me know if you have any questions, suggestions, or if you think I can muster up more points and continue this series a bit more.

Thank you again.

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Obligations of a shipping company during shipping delays

For me, keeping both me and the sender in the dark about the reason for the delay is something that should not happen. As a customer, you are assumed to have an obligation to make a payment before the shipping company will take your package. The shipping company itself, however, does not feel obligated to some things it should do for customers or the package. Behold below the 4 obligations that I think shipping companies like FedEx should feel responsible for, when it comes to delayed deliveries:

1. Notify the sender after they make a payment

   Did you notify either the sender or the receiver about the reason for the delay after the sender pays for the shipment? Simply saying “On route for delivery” for 2 days in a row through the online tracking system tells me nothing. I know it is on route for delivery: that is why I am paying to have the item shipped. What I want to know is what kind of a route is causing the delivery of the package to be delayed, and I want you to tell me immediately, automatically, when any delay happens.

2. Notify the sender before they make the payment

   Did you notify the sender of any possible delays in the shipment of an item before they paid? If the shortage in staff has been going on for “weeks“, as FedEx told the sender’s secretary, would it not have been responsible for FedEx to tell the sender, before they placed the shipping order. The shipping company can say something like “You are sending this item overnight, but we have to tell you that because of the shortage of staff in the area where this package is going, we may not be able to deliver this item faster than the regular post office.”?

3. Refund the wasted money

   Did the shipping company reimburse the sender for the money they paid for an overnight delivery that took 4 days to deliver in reality? Sure, telling the sender that no overnight delivery is 100% confirmed is a good protection idea, but if you know you are not going to have enough staff to deliver items beforehand, how about reimbursing the sender some of the money they could have saved by shipping using a slower shipping method? The sender paid for overnight delivery, and the package got delivered after 4 days. The sender paid money for a service they did not get because the shipping company hid the fact that there could be delays due to staff shortage.

4. Apologize voluntarily and sincerely

   Imagine someone takes your money in order to do something for you, but the thing they actually do is not worth the money you gave to that person. That someone never apologizes to you until you inquire about the situation, to which they say “Oh yeah, the people I knew could not be found, thus the result was not what you expected. You should have expected it since anything can happen. Sorry”

   Would you consider such a reply to be an apology? If you do not think it is sincere or even an apology, why would you accept a similar apology from a shipping company? How many of us are not robots who would love to hear a sincere apology without us asking for it? An apology is not needed because of wanting emotional attention. An apology because you hid information from me so that you could wast my money, time and plans for your own gain. Very few businesses realize that: that is why most businesses simply keep saying sorry without feeling guilty or even knowing how the customer was affected.

Shortage in staff does not always have to amount to the suffering of the customer

The above points are what a shipping company should keep in mind. Simply being short on staff, which can either be signs of an innocent struggle or bad management, does not mean the only one suffering is the customer. In the above case, FedEx got all the money knowing full hand there would be delays, delivered the item late, and did not notify either the sender or the receiver about the reason for the late delivery. In the end, the winner was FedEx which got more money than what it actually provided in return to the sender and the receiver. In the end, the people who suffered were the direct and indirect customers: the sender who paid for the overnight shipping and the receiver who received the item late.

What do you think?

What do you think? As a customer, do you think a shipping company can do anything differently than what FedEx did above? If you owned or worked for a shipping company, what would you have done in a similar position? Would you have acted the same, or differently?

Oh, before I forget, I went to a FedEx Kinko’s store on Thursday to send a package overnight, and saw around 12 staff workers. 7 were working, while 5 were laughing and talking to each other in different areas. Maybe those 5 should be turned into drivers who can deliver packages in case of “shortage in staff.” The package did get delivered by Friday noon, which was good.

Thank you for reading.

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Now keep in mind that if you would have slapped me first, I could have apologized or done something else, instead of slapping you back. For example, if you slapped me first as a result of me causing you to spill something on your clothes, I could have immediately run away screaming “Wooohooo!! I have a topic for my site!” while you chase me. Thus, a preemptive action is not an action that is the only solution to something that can happen. It is an action that the preemptive person or entity chooses to take.

The Preemptive Initiative

What I propose is that we try some preemptive things, listed below, in our lives. Why can we not take an action before there is even a need for such action in any form or manner? Whether I am serious or joking or being myself, you decide. Life would be completely different in many perspective if we start taking actions, including the act of not doing anything, before there is a need for such actions. The preemptive points listed below will help you get started.

The Golden Preemptive Rule

There is only one rule for Preemptive Actions Initiative: forget every other rule and focus only on the action itself. The below preemptive actions are being committed solely and only because of the very nature of each specific preemptive action itself. There is no other information or reason for which these actions take place. This very article is intended to let you know both the fun things that can result from preemptive actions, and the horrible things too. Hopefully by the end of this article, you will realize a bit more than before as to how preemptive actions and assumptions affect our life in different manners.

12 random & interesting Preemptive Actions

While some of the following may look like pranks², imagine making these part of your life and also imagine accepting the fact that others do the below things to you daily. Imagine that your life is empty without this, and that anyone telling you otherwise would only make you mad. How then will you live your life? Will you be able to realize when you are analyzing something and when you are assuming something?

Here we go:

1. File for divorce before you get married
   Found the girl or guy of your dreams? Take them to divorce court before you even get married. If they ask why you would want to do such a thing, tell them they were going to cheat on you, take your money, or do something else to hurt you. If they ask for proof, tell them your proof is your ability to preemptively analyze preemptive things. See how they react. Even if you get married after that, they may want to divorce you.
2. Break up before you start a relationship
   Similar to the divorce point, but for people not having marriage in sight. Walk up to the guy or the girl you want to ask out, and say “I want to break up with you.” Walk away, and let the gossips start. Launch a preemptive gossip yourself against the gossipers.
3. Sell the car before you buy it
   Go to the car dealership, test drive the car and put the car for sale on eBay or Craigslist while sitting in the salesperson’s office that same day, before you even sign any papers or pay for the car. When the buyer comes, take their money, leave and have the salesperson deal with the situation and that buyer.
4. Run from the cops before they have any reason to run after you
   See a cop and run. When they chase you, catch you and ask why you ran, say “I may end up doing something wrong in the future, which is why I was running since you may catch me then.” Wait a few hours while they search you, your house, your car, or anything else you own, check your background and your DNA and your blood and your pockets, before they scratch their heads in confusion((Please note: They might recommend or order you to go through a psych test to see if you are crazy or not.)). Be prepared to be faced with an authority that does not believe in your preemptive beliefs. If the cops ask you again “Why did you run?” Ask them back “Why did you run after me? You also preemptively though you would catch me before you knew I did anything wrong!
5. Apologize for what you did before you do the thing you apologize for
   Walk up to a stranger and say “Sorry man for stealing your money“, and walk away. Keep looking back to see how the stranger looks at you, or if the stranger comes after you to slap you.
6. Return a call before you get the call
   Call all your friends and say “Hey, I am returning your call. Wassup?” When they say “I didn’t call you…” Say “I know. I realized that there is a possibility that you were going to call me, I was going to be away from the phone and thus I was going to miss your phone call. That is why I am returning your call before you even called me. Wassup? Tell me quickly, I don’t have much time.” See their reaction and make a note of it in your friendship diary. See how many friends start calling you fewer times after that.
7. Tell people you are closing your website, before you open your website
   I want to announce that I am closing my shoe website. It has been a very hard decision, and I know a lot of you would have been disappointed had it actually existed, but I have been forced to take this action since I knew the website would have consumed a lot of my time. On top of that, I do not know if the website was going to sell shoes or talk about shoes or something else. Heck, I do not even know the name of my shoe website or what the domain name url would be. Sorry all, and I hope none of you cry because you miss my shoe website. May my shoe website live in your hearts forever, as it surely lives in mine!
8. Quit a job before getting that job
   Walk into the corporate office of any large company and ask the first employee you see what the proper procedure is for someone who wants to quit a job that they have not yet even gotten the offer for. After that person looks at you for a while, slap them. When you get arrested, refer to my above example and say you exercised your right to preemptive strike as you knew they were going to slap you for asking a weird question.
9. Ask for a refund for your computer before you buy that computer
   Walk into Best Buy and request a refund for your computer. When the sales associate asks you for the item and the receipt, say “I haven’t bought the computer yet.” See whether or not you can end up making the sales associate call for the manager. Say the same thing to the manager and in the end, when you have had enough, say “Ok, I guess you do not respect my preemptive refund rights.” See the reaction.
10. Tell the bus driver “Thanks for the ride” before you get on the bus
    Stop the bus. When the door opens, look at the driver, thank him/her for the ride and walk away. See what happens then. Make sure you have medical insurance; preemptively buying medical insurance is a good thing.
11. Thank the guests for the great party and close the door before the guests even come into your house for the party
    This one is interesting. Invite guests to a party. When they show up at the door, open the door, thank them for coming and immediately say “It was a nice party, bye” and close the door, without letting them in. See what happens, and see if they ring the door bell to ask what is going on.
12. Thank and pay for the food at the restaurant and leave before ordering the food
    Walk into a restaurant and ask for your bill. When the cashier or waiter asks what you ordered or who served you, say “I haven’t ordered yet.” Everything that follows will test your preemptive initiative oath: if you laugh and simply walk out, you were only a prankster playing a prank. If you actually end up paying the money and believe this should happen daily to others and to you, you are preemptively initiating the preemptive initiative.

The above are some interesting preemptive actions that can add fun and frolics into your life. Be careful: not realizing what is the real message in this article can result in a lot of slapping and beating by cops and other people.

Do you support the preemptive initiative?

What do you think about the above points? If you realistically did any of the above, would you feel happy? Would you feel sad? Would you feel stupid? Would you not feel anything? Do you think preemptive actions can result in anything good or anything bad? Do you think such a thinking can improve or worsen your life? Can you think of any other actions, ideas or things that can hint at a preemptive action?

Thank you for reading. I will stop here and will go eat now, since I may become hungry soon.

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In this series and whenever I say poor, I am referring to someone who will become happy or happier saving a couple of dollars or their local currency every month or every few days. Without such a saving, that person would not be able to afford rent or food or something very basic and essential to survival. If you wish to know a bit more as to what does and does not qualify as being poor, my article titled “5 Reasons You Are Not Poor In 2007” may help. I will be updating my poor guide to a 2008 definition very soon.

The below steps and ideas are not technical steps, nor are they the exact steps that you must take in order to save money by changing your electricity usage habits. All of the below steps have worked for me sometime in the past all the way up till today, though with varying degrees of results. If you are poor and desperately in need of saving money, this can help you get started along with anything else you have in mind. This first part of the series focuses on reducing your electricity bill expenses. As you read along, you may realize that each and everything described here is an extremely simple concept, so simple that you yourself may have thought of it but may have never gotten around to actually thinking about implementing it. I have subdivided different parts so that it can be easier to get the concept also.

Measure your meter first please, if possible

Before you do anything, it would be extremely good if you can go this very moment and take a look at your electric meter. Since you are focusing on your electricity usage, it is a very good idea to look at your electric meter. This meter is usually located at the side of houses, or at the back of the apartment complexes; it has to be located in an easy to find location, yet not right in front of the house all the time, so that the electric company technicians can have easy access to it when needed. Simply walk around your building or unit and you will see it sticking onto some wall, usually facing outside¹.

This is a meter which will have a revolving dial on it that measures the rate of electricity consumption in your very unit; this should be a very thin silver dial, and it will be moving. The faster the dial, the higher the electricity consumption is. Take a look at this dial and take note of any kind of a mark on the dial that you can use to see how many seconds it takes for the dial to rotate one full cycle, meaning the amount of time it takes for that mark to disappear and reappear at the exact same place.

Also, please remember the days and dates that you perform the below steps. Making a note of such dates and days will help later in figuring out whether or not you save electricity consumption in the end.

5 Practical steps to survive with different electricity usage: Unplug things

It would be an amazing thing if you could make a mental note of everything that you pay the electric bill for. This includes all the wall outlets, all things outside your house like outside lights and patio lights, the built-in microwaves which cannot be turned off easily, the electronic heat thermostats, and more. Knowing every available option that can be used to consume your electricity helps in realizing what is using electricity and how.

1. Unplug your hungry-for-electricity kitchen.

   Except your fridge if it has food in it, disconnect everything in your kitchen including your oven, microwave oven, toaster, and any other electronics from the wall outlets when not using them. Simply turning them off will not be sufficient many times. Many things like ovens and microwaves keep consuming electricity even when not in use.

2. Unplug all chargers.

   Disconnect all cell phone, laptop and any other chargers from the wall outlets when not charging or when they have charged completely. Many chargers keep consuming electricity in the form of discharges to the electronics they charge, while others consume electricity in order to show a small light which lets you know that they are connected to a power source. Either way, they keep consuming electricity if plugged into the wall outlet.

3. Make computers, monitors and televisions love the black screen of rest.

   Instead of using screen savers, simply turn off your monitors, computers and TVs whenever not in use and unplug them from the power outlet. Leaving the monitor on during the night still consumes electricity, unless your monitor can turn itself off after some time of inactivity. Why not turn it off directly? Turn off your computer completely at night if possible. If you must watch TV to fall asleep, set it to turn off automatically with a sleep timer. You will need to think how long it usually takes you to fall asleep and program your TV accordingly.

4. Unplug your heaters and A/Cs.

   Turn off and disconnect from the wall outlets all heaters and A/Cs when they are not in use. You will have to depend on your body feelings and not on the thermostat or automatic sensors to keep changing the temperature.

5. Unplug the pluggable house

   Disconnect everything else from the walls in the entire house when not in use, and turn off everything that cannot be disconnected easily. This means that all the wall outlet sockets must be empty unless they have something inside them that you are currently, actively and directly using at that very moment. This applies to air fresheners, night sensor lights, fish tank lights², exhaust fans, empty fridges and freezers, printers, modems, lamps, vacuum cleaners, etc.

   By anything, I mean anything. All the wall outlets of any kind should be completely unused unless something that you absolutely need is turned on fully and working. Everything in the house that cannot be unplugged and that is not being used should be turned off.

The above wall-socket-disconnection steps will overall save you at least about $1 to $4 a month in the United States, and a different amount in other countries.

If such kind of a saving seems to be too low for you to even try it, you are probably not poor or desperate enough, or you are poor and have needs that unfortunately do not allow some of all of the above steps to be taken. Please let me know if that is the case and I will offer suggestions based on your situation.

9 Practical electricity-conservation lifestyle trends:

With practical steps come the philosophy that dictate these steps and vice versa. You need to change your living habits and any habit that involves electricity. The following tricks will help you change your life style so that you will make different electric usage habits a part of your current life. You can start experimenting with these trends immediately. I am using a simple explanation approach throughout this article, if you have not already noticed.

1. Steal electricity from your car

   Use the car charger to charge your electronics in the car. Places like Radio Shack sell a lot of car chargers for different electronics, ranging from laptops to cell phones to mp3 players³. Buying a charger may cost you around $10 to $15, and saving the electricity in your home will save you around $1 to $2 for each thing you charge at your home. Some universal car chargers allow a lot of different things to be charged using the same chargers. If the charger is expensive or over $20, you should figure out whether using the charger at home or other places [described below] will be a better option.

2. Deceive your laptop into giving you electricity

   Use the laptop to charge your electronics. A lot of electronics like newer cell phones and mp3 players come with USB cables for syncing. Majority of these cables also charge your electronic devices while they are syncing. Leave your device connected to the laptop until you see that the battery charge icon on your electronic device is showing a fully charged notification.

3. Create the concept of public electricity at public places

   Use the public libraries or educational and cafe outlets to charge your electronics. Places like many Starbucks will gladly allow you to use their wall outlets in return for you buying their coffee or something else. Buying coffee costs also, so using colleges or public libraries may be a cheaper option.

4. Make daily places that you visit the venue for your daily tasks

   Use your nearby university or college for different stuff. For example, you can not only charge your electronics at public libraries or other places, but you can use microwave ovens at colleges and universities. You can also use the computers at the public libraries and nearby community colleges and universities to browse the internet or do other computer stuff. Many places allow you to print up to a certain amount of pages for free each day, while also allowing you to use their computers as much as you wish. This will save all the electricity that is needed to use your microwave at home for small things or things that can be delayed, and also for many computer and printing related tasks.

5. Start dating only rechargeable and free batteries

   Use rechargeable batteries only and recharge those batteries in your car or the laptop. Many places now sell batteries that you can recharge using a USB plug or a car charger. Buying them will save you money in both battery costs and also in recharging those batteries through your laptop or in your car.

   Stop recharging batteries at your home, if you have rechargeable batteries, and get free batteries. I read an article somewhere a few weeks ago which talked about batteries present in all disposable cameras that you can reuse; I cannot find the link to that article again, unfortunately⁴. You can open up a disposable camera after you are done with it and use the actual batteries inside it for your normal use. You can even ask photo labs to get your or other people’s unwanted disposable camera batteries to you after the photos have been grabbed from them⁵

6. Give your electronics some life support only when they are near their deaths

   Plug in your laptops and cell phones with their chargers into wall outlets only when they are within 20% to 15% of their empty life capacity. This goes for both your own and other wall outlets. Not leaving the laptop and the cell phones connected to the wall outlets all the time saves electricity. Forget the advice that leaving new cell phones connected to their chargers all the time improves battery life by a few percentage points: while that advice is true, your focus here is to save money by saving electricity, and not to prolong the life of the battery, even though that is a noble cause too. Your cell phone battery should easily last you a year or two with regular usage.

7. Fire the fan; hire the window

   Instead of turning on the A/C or even the fan during summer, open each and every window in the house about half way, and make sure nothing obstructs them directly. You can put a small cover or even a notebook for privacy if you wish. Leave all the inside doors open in the house. With air coming in from every room in the house and all the rooms open, the circulating air will create a very nice flow of air in about an hour unless your unit is built or blocked like a stuffed labyrinth. Make sure you close any doors to any rooms that do not have a window, like closets, bathrooms with only ventilators, laundry rooms and more.

   In winter, instead of turning the heater or the A/C with a heater on, close all the windows and the doors of the rooms with windows in them and instead open up the doors to places like your kitchen, your closets and your laundry room. This will rotate the cycle and allow more closed/hot areas to be able to waste the cold air.

8. Build seasonal relationships with your rooms

   Adapt your habits around rooms with the least power consumption. For example, if during summer one of the rooms is the coolest and you are feeling too warm, move your most active activities, like doing your homework or using your laptop, to that room, while making sure that you limit any introduction of new electricity usage into that room. Do the opposite during winter, moving into the hottest room of the house if you are feeling too cold. Leave most doors open during summer, and leave most doors and windows closed during winters.

9. Make your home the backup home

   This is also one of the most practical steps that can also change your life from the day you start doing it: move most of your activities out of your house. Go to the library to study or use your laptop there or charge your phone there. Go to the nearest public garden or something else that may help you relax. Use public computers to do your MySpacing or whatever it is that you do online to stalk others or be stalked. Exercise outside, even in your patio or in the parking lot somewhere early in the morning or late at night if you are shy or want to hide yourself while exercising⁶ If it is summer, go to the library and enjoy the nice cool atmosphere there. If it is the winter, do the same and places like a library or university buildings will be warmer than the outside.

The above brief guide is a practical pointer to some very basic things that can help curb electricity consumption immediately. The batteries step alone will save you around $8 to $25 every year or so, averaging to about $1 to around $2 of savings per month that you get usually every 6 to 9 months, depending on how often you usually buy batteries.

Measure your meter and observe your detailed electric bills

After about 12 hours of following any of the above lifestyle tips, go back out and recheck the electric meter. Measure its speed again using the same exact measurement and compare it to the previous 2 measurements. Has the dial slowed down? While this is not the perfect measurement to see whether or not you are consuming less electricity, the dial itself should hopefully let you know that you have started to save electricity. The next electric bill should reflect that change also.

If you wish and if your electric company allows it, you can request a detailed daily summary bill that will tell you the daily consumption by your apartment or house. That way, you can see how the electric consumption had been for about 20-50 days before you tried the above steps, and how it turned out to be after you tried any of the above steps. If you want to plan even more, you can perform different steps or combination of the above steps every 2 to 3 days and then see the detailed bill to see how big of a drop in electric usage each step or combinatorial step brought for you every 2 to 3 days.

If you pay your electricity bill directly to a landlord of any sort, let that landlord know that you have reduced your electricity consumption and ask them if you could work out a lower electric bill by looking at the bill. If the landlord does not wish to share the bill, have them analyze it to see the drop in the electric consumption.

Thank you for reading. Do you feel the poor electric shock yet?

I hope the above article helps you in even the least form to save some money by changing your habits that revolve around electricity consumption. Remember, being poor is a blessing that can be further changed to become a blessing with money, but wasting money can be one of the biggest curses, specially if you do not have enough money for things that you consider basic and essential to your survival.

What do you think of the above steps or guidelines? Do you think some or all of them could work in most or all situations? Do you have any experience with any of the above? Would you recommend or not recommend anything? Do you have any tips, suggestions or comments of your own? Please let me know what you think.

The next time we continue this series, I will show you the Poor Practical Guide to Surviving Without Much Money by selling stuff that you already have.

Thank you for reading. Long live the poor and the not so poor!

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1. Telling the driver how to drive no matter how they drive

   Avoid telling the driver how to drive. Notice the words “Avoid telling” and not “Never tell” in this point. Avoid telling the driver how to drive if it is for small things that you yourself may be doing in some ways when you drive, or things that the driver may be used to while they drive. If the driver is driving fast and changing lanes very quickly, causing the whole car to suddenly tilt from time to time, you can go ahead and tell the driver to slow down as your life and safety is on the line. However, if the driver is driving and you keep telling her or him that they should drive with one hand on the wheel or both hands, as an example, try to think first if the current driving by the driver is dangerous or if the driver knows what she/he is doing and usually drives like that.

   I knew someone once who always told me not to show left/right turn signals when changing lanes, to stop completely at all stop signs, to always change lanes while maintaining same speed instead of slowing down to keep in the same lane, to honk at all other drivers who did not know how to drive, etc. Stop dictating everything: sure, tell me everything on your mind if you wish, but who cares which lane I drive in, as long as we get there on time and as long as I am driving safe?

2. Smoking, eating and drinking in the car without asking

   This is extremely important. I never try to eat in someone else’s car, and if I do, I eat as if my life depended on how clean I keep the car. I have had people who come into the car without knowing me much and starting to eat, drink or smoke right away. Forget that smoking kills or does any harm: I do not care about that since everyone around is usually already smoking and my lungs are starting to have DNA from other people on a regular basis. What I care about is the smell in the car: I get in the car and I can feel I am the Marlboro Man simply because my car smells like mint, tobacco and nicotine.

   One of the people who got a ride in my car would start lighting up the cigarette right in my car, and after smoking, she would ask where the ashtray was. My car does not have an ashtray, and she would honestly forget that every time. Then she would scramble around the car to look for something to put the cigarette buds in, while the ashes and the burnt cigarette bud pieces fell around my car. In the end, she would end up throwing the buds and the falling tobacco and smoked cigarette wrapper out of the window. Another guy used to eat his regular dose of Carl’s Jr. in my car and would usually leave some fries and lettuce that dropped from his mouth. If I can pick up leftovers from what adults eat and be good at it, maybe I can be a good parent and be good at cleaning up after babies too?

3. Throwing litter out of the window

   I am not sure how people who meet someone for the first time start throwing stuff out of those new people’s car from the minute they get in. And they do it while not caring about whether or not a cop might see them. If you throw stuff out of the car, it might hit some other car or the driver may get a ticket for littering. Forget the stereotypical advice “If you don’t throw trash in your home, why do you throw trash onto the streets?” That is a stupid message. What I am referring to is the idea of meeting someone for the first time, and throwing stuff out of the window without wondering whether or not the driver will be comfortable with it. It is your trash when it is being thrown out: it is the trash coming out of the car that belongs to the driver.

   I knew someone once who would go through his mail while in the car and any junk mail that he did not want, he would roll it up and throw it out of the window. I would always ask him what he threw out, but he would act as if I was asking a very sensitive question. Other people’s trash is not my business, I agree; however, my car is a driving vehicle and not a experimental garbage-shooting device for new people, so I would like to know what is being thrown out in case a cop stops us.

   Once a guy threw his soda can right through my driver-side window, instead of his passenger-side window, while we were driving on the freeway. The glass soda bottle hit my nose on the side and then flew out of the car. I immediately wondered if I had been attacked and the guy simply missed me. I started bleeding that very instant: I looked at the guy and said “What the $%^&!!??” The guy was genuinely sorry and said something along the lines of “OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY!! Just wanted to throw it out from your side since on my side there are cars and on your side there are no cars…didn’t think it would hit you SORRY ” Even then, what the heck?

4. Making extra stops without asking first

   Similar to getting extra passengers, if you have to make extra stops, tell the driver immediately. The driver may have something in mind, and they may also have to make stops of their own. Your new unexpected stops can result in the driver losing time and not being able to do things they changed or modified in order to accommodate your ride in the first place. Try to be very explicit and transparent when asking for favors. Even if you are robbing banks, tell the driver “I have to stop by these 4 banks to try to see if I can get a good student deal on a savings account.”

   I have had people wanting to go to banks, their friend’s places, shopping stores and even restaurants while on their way to someplace else. Many times, I end up canceling whatever I had originally planned. I do not mind making extra stops, since I usually prefer making extra stops many times myself too. What I do not understand is the claim that people forget to tell me they had to make the extra stops until they get in the car or when they get near a place. Some people have even told me “Oh, take this road, I prefer this road” and then when we get to a place where they want to make an unexpected stop using the road they told me to take, they say “Oh, I just remembered, I have to stop at so and so.” Maybe I should make dozens of unexpected stops while giving rides also.

5. Refusing to put on the seat belt

   This used to be a big deal before, when drivers used to get tickets for any passengers who had not put on their seat belts. Nowadays, anyone not putting on the seat belt gets into trouble themselves unless I am mistaken. However, when you get into someone else’s car for the first time, ask them if it is ok not to put on a seat belt. Ask if the other driver is ok with it; they would want to think over whether or not they are willing to go through a police pull-over because of the seat belt.

   I have had a few people who would meet me for the first time and sit up front and not put on their seat belts, even when I reminded or asked them if they could. Sure, they have a choice to say no when I ask them, but these people would actually get offended at me asking them about the seat belt. By the way, I hate putting on seat belts overall, and I never put on a seat belt when sitting in the back unless the drivers tells me to, which I also try to avoid if possible.

6. Leaving garbage in the car

   Many people think my car is a garbage trailer because my car is dark green. They will come in with food, cigarette wrappers, books and receipts, and they will usually leave something behind like napkins, lettuc