Welcome to this new CSUF Business

It was a Thursday. Or maybe a Friday. I was late already. 5 minutes after the supposed meeting time, I was still putting on shoes in my room. “Do I have everything? Am I missing something?” I was not sure, and to this date, I am still not sure. I got in my car and started driving. Off to CSU Fullerton.

Every potential student invited to the sales pitch…I mean…tour guide

I did not have any appointment with the tour group. In fact, this was my second semester at the University. I wanted to see what they showed in the tour groups. It would be fun to see what kind of a sales pitch the tour group would give to new customers, I mean, students. The tour group at universities are like sales tours at car dealerships. Anyone who ends up being there gets shown the products. The difference was that on this day, at this university, most of the potential customers were students who were there with their parents. It was mostly the parents that the tour guide had to please, and to please them, the tour guide had to tell the students the benefits that the parents would like to hear and see.

Every parent-worthy topic is brought up in a sales pitch

So I staggered along, a bit bored and also thinking of a movie to watch at The Spectrum in Irvine that night. The tour guide went around the entire campus, talking about the pride the university brings to the hearts of billions. Or maybe it was thousands? I am not sure. I was shown the buildings. I was shown the cafeteria. I was shown the library. I was shown the cashier’s office. I was told in great detail on how to pay for my books, for my classes, and for a parking permit. The tour guide told everyone about the surrounding, making sure the parents heard that the surroundings were very safe and full of places to eat, book stores, and nice movie theatres. Of course, the tour guide left out details about the nearby bars and the on-campus dorm party drinking and incidents.

The actual service was never mentioned. Lucky for us.

While the tour guide showed us how the birds sat in the middle of the parking lots and how the garbage cans outside libraries improved life expectancy by 20%, he did ignore to tell us about the actual service that we would be getting: the education. Not once were we introduced to any teacher. Not once were we told what kind of education we would, or could, have. Not once were we told what our options were if we wanted to learn something that a teacher did not want to teach.

The tour ended with everyone being happy. The parents and students were happy because they now knew the names of the buildings. The tour guide was happy because he would be putting that tour on his resume. I was happy because I could go and finally eat Carl’s Jr. before heading off to a movie marathon. No one needed to know anything about the education itself.

Welcome to the new business. I think they appreciated having me as their customer. I mean, their student.

And welcome to this site. This was your guided tour.