Continue reading… »

The Wrong Number Dilemma

When you call and run into the “wrong number” situation, after you hang up, you really do not know which of the 2 possible reasons, from the person dialing the wrong number to the person dialing a number at which a certain person used to live long time ago, are the root of the resulting situation. All you focus on are the two hypnotizing words, “Wrong Number.” These words are hypnotizing because as soon as you hear them, your first instinct as the caller is to hang up as soon as possible.

So what is the dilemma? As the caller, the dilemma is the question that pops up: did I call the wrong number, or did the person who used to be at that number now have a new number, and I did dial the right number? As the receiver, the dilemma is wondering how the other person got that specific number in the first place. Sure, we can simply say or hear the two magic words and hang up the phone, but the issue remains with the phone for a long time. It is as if we do not care or even think of finding out what is going on, and we say “wrong number” to get rid of the other person or to get the clue that we should get lost as soon as possible.

It is one of those situations where majority of the people do not want to know what happened; they simply want to find out the right number as the caller or to move on as the receiver.

The typical caller

As a caller, we usually do one of the following things during and after the wrong number call:

• Say “Oh sorry” and hang up
• Say “Oh ok” and hang up
• Say “Ok” and hang up
• Simply hang up without saying anything
• Say “What do you mean I have the wrong number?” and do not hang up. Someone asked me this question when I told them they had dialed the wrong number. I was quiet for about a second or two, and then said “Well, you picked up the phone, dialed a number and then asked me for someone and that person is not associated with the number you dialed, thus you have reached a wrong number.” The guy simply hung up, probably unamused at my answer.

The typical receiver

As the person receiving the call, you pretty much, and so far, are limited in your choices, to the following three:

• “Wrong number“
• “No one here by that name. Must have the wrong number.“
• Simply hang up without saying anything back to the caller.

But you, as the receiver, always have the power to make the other person hang up. The keywords to make the other party hang up are “wrong number.” Many callers wait for you to finish saying things before they hang up, while many other callers simply hang up when they hear the dreaded “wrong number” chant.

The hypnotizing chant = Wrong Number

As the person saying the “wrong number” hypnotizing chant, you usually expect nothing from the caller other than them hanging up the phone. In fact, you usually say the words “wrong number” as a way to indirectly control the other person’s actions and to make the other person hang up. You control the actions of the caller: you can make him or her hang up the phone any time you wish by saying those two words. Rarely do you encounter people who do not hang up within 5 seconds of hearing the words “wrong number.” They are usually smart people trying to act smart, confused people, rude people, harassers, stalkers and more.

The revised polite Wrong Number Dilemma

In practical life, I personally expect both parties to at least have an old style conversation that goes like:

“Hi, can I speak with Marilyn please?”
“Oh I think you have the wrong number”
“Oh ok/thanks/sorry bye”
“No problem bye”
Both sides hang up.

That “Wrong Number” conversation is polite in its own micro-sense, and it is complete. Of course, as you can see, it does not convey any useful information other than Marilyn being equal to a wrong number. “Marilyn” and “Wrong number” are the only 2 sets of words in the entire conversation which are useful overall to many people. The caller has only one focus: “Marilyn.” The receiver has only one focus: “Wrong Number.” The caller and the receiver agree to hang up because they realize they agree on one fact: Marilyn equals to a wrong number for that very phone call.

The revised Wrong Number Situation - Dilemma addressed

I suggest a clearer communication to deal with the situation:

How about, in order to be clearer, after hearing the hypnotizing words, you as the caller asks “Can I tell you what number I called so I can see whether I dialed the wrong number by mistake or if the number I have is the right number but the person I am looking for has changed numbers?”

As the receiver, how about after hypnotizing the caller, you ask “No one here by that name. What number did you call?”

Both ways, the caller can know whether they actually did dial the wrong number by mistake or if they dialed the right number but the person they are looking does not have that number anymore. That way, instead of the wrong number situation being a dilemma where both you and the caller wonder how you two met in this universe, you will have a better idea of what set of events resulted in the two of you coming across each other’s voices over the phone.

Next time, inquire before hanging up

The next time you you get or call a wrong number, instead of looking forward to hanging up, you can try to look forward to figuring out how you ended up on that very call, while still on the phone. Should you not know why you do the things you do or how you end up in different situations? I do, because my phone is still ringing and I would love to know more about why Marilyn is thought to be at my number.

Remember, it is not a wrong number until you find out it is the wrong number. And I am not Marilyn until I say I am.

« Show less..

Continue reading… »

1. You doubt a complete group of people immediately while trusting the other one completely

   Imagine me telling you that a certain group of people did something bad, and that you immediately come to the conclusion that those people are bad and that you should not expect anything better from them. Now imagine me telling you that some people from the groups that you associate with did something bad, and that you immediately say things along the lines of “Well, they must have had a reason” or “It was only them who did it” or “I am not sure, I need to know the whole story before I judge.” Chances are you discriminate against a certain group immediately, while thinking critically when it comes to judging your own group of people.

   When you hear about some Jews acting bad, you immediately agree that they are bad. When you hear about some Muslims acting bad, you immediately make sure that you try to ask for more proof or verification of the story, or you try not to judgment, opposite to what you did in the case of the Jews. The exact opposite story, interchanging the Muslims with the Jews and vice versa is a similar example. No matter what side you may be supporting, you discriminate against the other instantly and start passing judgments as if your opinions are thought our critically.

   When you hear about some militant groups in Africa molesting and raping young children in certain areas in order to spread more fear, you start concluding that they are less civilized. When you hear about some American soldiers molesting or raping girls in Japan and some other bases, you immediately start doubting the story, asking for more verification, and maybe even starting to pinpoint the bad things about the foreign country in which such reported incidents take place. You may call such a trait patriotism; in reality, it is racism and a form of stupidity thriving together.

2. Your pro-country mentality result in you hating a certain country or group of people

   This is a huge headache in many cases. Europeans hating the Americans, Americans hating the Europeans, Palestinians hating the Israelis, Israelis hating the Palestinians, Canadians hating Americans, Americans hating Canadians, Pakistanis hating Indians, Indians hating Pakistanis, Mexicans hating Americans, Americans hating Mexicans, North Koreans hating the Americans, Americans hating the North Koreans, Chinese hating Japanese, Japanese hating Chinese, Iranians hating the Americans, Americans hating the Iranians, etc etc etc. It is as if countries were built to hate each other. I realize they were.

   A small group of people from some hurt your country, and you are going to start hating the entire group of people or the majority of some country that those people are from because of that? Take your racist, narrow-minded mentalities somewhere else. I do not care. Anytime you automatically stereotype a majority or all people associated with a group of people because of your love for your own country, stay away from me, and instead impose your racist views on your family or your poor do-not-have-a-future-because-of-racist-parents children. Every country in this world is suffering, and every country in this world is inflicting harm on some other weaker country. Having a full circle of hating one another because of that only spreads racism.

3. Your pro-religion mentality results in you hating a certain country or group of people

   Christians against the Muslims, Muslims against the Christians, Buddhists against other religions, other religions against atheism and Buddhism, etc. How many times, every week or every minute of the day, do we see ourselves or someone else, either in real life or on TV, stereotype against a certain religion or someone or a group of people who try to follow a certain religion, or who may be directly or indirectly associated with a certain religion.

   If someone brings up something bad about a religion you do not know about, you agree that it is bad. If someone brings up something bad about your religion, you want to inquire more, you try to defend your religion, you try to criticize every critic of your religion. For you, reality does not revolve around what is happening. For you, reality revolves around your religion being right and you defending it. That mentality is the exact same as those people who go around the entire planet torturing innocent people because of religion: killing people in Middle East because of religion, burning mosques and churches in America, prosecuting all religious people in many countries, torturing non-religious people in several religious countries, etc. It is as if your religion exists in order to spread torture, and you exist in order to spread racism.

4. Your pro-ethnic mentality results in you hating certain ethnicities while completely favoring some over the other

   Try remembering the last time someone brought up some major ethnic discrimination event from years ago, in order to justify your own hatred or discrimination for others. Maybe try remembering the last time you yourself cited some major event of racism or hatred in order to justify your hatred against some group of people. Did you yourself suffer anything, literally, in person? How many Vietnamese people who complain about the Vietnam war were actually in the Vietnam and suffered in person, and are thus not enjoying life at all today? How many of the African American youth today which complains about being stereotyped were actually stereotyped and hurt in person in the 60’s and 70’s, since that is the era I keep hearing everyday from the mouth of many?

   How many people have actually seen a Jewish person steal money, a French act stupid and drunk, an Arab blow up something, a Canadian act illiterate of the world events, an American molest females in army bases in other countries, a Mexican steal your job literally, a Cuban bring drugs in his shoes, a black man listen to rap music while robbing your neighbor, and a white person running around screaming out “KKK FOR ALL” at the top of his or her lungs? There can be hundreds of more examples along the lines of what I just said. A lot of these things have happened, and a lot of these things are not happening. How can we look at the example of a few and stereotype everyone? You are going to stereotype everyone or even a large group of people, people you know nothing about, simply based on what some specific people have done?

   Your excuse of “I know not everyone is like that” is stupid, pathetic and immature, considering the fact that you are always stereotyping that certain ethnic group and that when you are cornered you resort to that defense. Most people who complain about discrimination against them, in order to justify their own discriminatory views, have not experienced any of the above, yet they will say “I know it has happened to others, so I know what is going on.” Really? If we used such mentality, then all the Chinese, Japanese, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Americans, Mexicans, Canadians, French, Europeans, Russians, Buddhists, and more would be hating everyone on this planet, because I know a lot of Japanese, Koreans, Muslims, Christians, Anti-semitic-yet-do-not-realize-it, Europeans, Americans, Russians, and other people who have suffered physically in reality and people who simply cry on the bandwagon because someone else in the distant suffered or their great great grandfathers suffered.

   “Avoid saying such things which stereotype and hurt other people and their image“, I say. “Why don’t you mind your own god damn business or get lost.” Awesome mentality you have. Keep saying things that mingle with other people’s lives and business, but when others tell you to not say such things, you tell others to mind their own business. That is some amazing mature mentality you have.

   Similarly, hating some ethnicity or feeling discriminated simply because your ancestors suffered does not mean you suffered. Suffering the after effects is one thing, and not suffering anything and being genetically linked to people who suffered, while enjoying life, is not equivalent to suffering yourself. There are many of us who have actually suffered in our lifetime more than you and your ancestors combined. Trying to attract the sympathy of others, by playing the victims game, in order to justify your own hatred when in reality you have suffered nothing is stupid. Such a logic does not equivilate to you being justified in hating others.

5. You cannot help yourself from making certain ethnic or religious jokes which completely stereotype and hurt others, while you cannot make certain jokes about some ethnicities or religion

   Ever hear the joke about the sex-addict and stupid French woman? Ever hear the joke about the terrorist Arab? Ever hear the joke about the miser Jew? Ever hear the joke about the stupid Japanese? Ever hear the joke about the illiterate American redneck? Chances are, you may have heard all of these jokes, but you may not be comfortable with all of them. If you do joke about some ethnicities but cannot joke about some other specific ethnicities, you may be racist. Simply joking about every ethnicity does not make you an anti-Racist; it just shows that you hate many more ethnicities than a typical racist person.

   There is a difference between joking and not meaning things and realizing when it may hurt people and when it may only be a joke, and joking and hurting people and claiming that you did not intend to hurt anyone. If you are not good at realizing when it will hurt someone, stop joking.

   You are comfortable at making fun of French or the Germans people but not the British? You are comfortable making fun of Buddhists or atheists but not the Christians? You are comfortable making fun of the Chinese or Koreans but not the Japanese? You are comfortable making fun of Muslims or the Arabs but not the Jews? You are comfortable making fun of Colombians or Cubans but not the Mexicans? You are comfortable making fun of people with light colored skins but not dark skin? You are comfortable making fun of anyone else except anything you try to associate with yourself or a group that the society around you tries to associate with? Poor you, you stereotypical racist moron. Your jokes are ways for you to be scared of being racist and be a racist at the same time, since your supposed-”it’s a joke“-disclaimer can probably make someone not beat you up for being stupid.

6. You stereotype all the time, and you try to hide behind jokes or certain disclosures.

   This is a trend that is slowly gaining more acceptance and ridicule at the same depending, depending on different people. Repeatedly making jokes about someone’s ethnicity, religion, lack of religion, lack of ethnicity, their background or anything else, which hurts someone, means you do not care about that person. That also means your jokes exist solely to make racist and discriminatory remarks, and that you are hiding behind your jokes to get away with your inability to not hate someone directly or indirectly because of things outside their control, like their background, as if someone was completely wrong with it in all situations.

   When you know a joke can hurt or simply offend someone, as to why you are making that joke in context to someone who is involved in the conversation or joke with you, there is no point in saying “I’m sorry” afterwards. Why be sorry when you are continuously doing whatever you are doing anyhow?

Racism Rules! Literally.

These are the 6 signs that show the racism in you, me and others. These are also the 6 signs you can use to observe others around you and see whether or not someone exhibits some forms of hate or discrimination against some person or a group of people. Ideas and feelings of racism, without actually experiencing anything bad ourselves, are all around us. Even when we experience something ourselves directly, the idea of racism or hating a group of people only increases or takes turns. It can be very hard to simply keep such feelings inside of us.

I do not care what religion you have, what country you are from, what ethnicity you fantasize about, and what color you love blending in with. Treat me the way I act and am, and I will treat you in the same manner. Act racist around me, and I will simply realize that I wasted time around a loser like you. It’s your life; you can live in your small little racist bubble and feel all powerful and righteous. We both know what you really are. All I care about are actual actions, feelings and experiences in life.

Every point mentioned above can be observed as having different levels of dedication. Some people commit to some or all of the above points all the time, while others resort to it from time to time. Still, some people simply say some extreme things without actually being racist in order to make a point. However, if the listener or other people do not realize that you made a point, you have actually hurt the other person. What is the point of not being racist when your actions are hurting others as if you were racist? How about not being a racist and making sure whatever you do does not hurt others either?

Thank you for reading. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go to near an Indian owned 7-eleven to a Boba place owned by Koreans where only Asian workers are cashiers and only Mexicans make Boba in the back room, with the only non-Asian customers at night being white kids who read comics and where a black person will almost never be a customer. Or maybe I’ll go eat at Jack-in-the-Box next to it where I can focus more on getting curly fries than on the ethnic or background segregation of the drive-thru people or the people making the food. Who said fast food places were good for nothing?

« Show less..

Continue reading… »

Why is it that when you offer help to someone voluntarily, it is sometimes appreciated by others, but when you do not offer help, you are looked down upon by many people? Anytime I help someone, I think about it. I wonder why I am helping, as I do not like helping out of obligation to anyone else. Obligation to society? Obligation to religion? Obligation to others? No, no and no. I am obligated to values, and I like to be obligated to those values that I realize are important because of my understanding and experience of and in life. As I wrote before, I can remember many times when I helped someone and I did not feel happy at all, and some of the responses I got from others shed some more light on the topic.

If we help others because we feel it is voluntary and we are doing something that we consider nice even though we are not obligated to, then our focus is probably on trying to see if others can benefit from our help. If we help others because we feel it is an obligation or because others may consider us to be rude if we do not help others, then our focus is probably on helping because it is an obligation.

Why is there usually no ground where there is no judgment passed on the behavior of a person who does not offer help to a stranger in a non-critical situation? Picking up a dropped pen for someone is nice and voluntary, but not picking it up on purpose is bad and rude. How can someone be innocent and selfless solely because they volunteer, when not volunteering results in many people in the society labeling that same person as being bad in some manner?

Is helping others in non-critical things an obligation?

Is the concept of helping supposed to exist because we can do it anytime we feel like it, or does it exist because others around us will consider it a nice gesture? What do you think?

Please let me know if you have any questions, comments or opinion about this. Thank you.

« Show less..