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You yourself may have done something that you later thought to be inconsiderate for the driver, or you may have given a ride to someone not close to you and experienced some discomfort because of the behavior of your passenger. I have given rides to many people, many of whom have acted very strange or done weird things from time to time. Some things are small, while others can be big. Starting today, I would like to draw your attention to some of such things.

1. Putting your feet everywhere

   So many people do this, it seems that one day someone will call me abnormal for thinking this should not be the norm. Ask the driver if you can put your feet on things other than the floor mat. Otherwise, putting your feet on the seat, the dashboard or even on the actual gearbox which the driver uses to change gears might result in the driver thinking you are riding in an air balloon. Or maybe not, as even in the air balloon you have to do your best to keep your feet on the platform.

   I knew someone who used to take off his shoes or slippers and put his feet on my car dashboard, the stereo area or the gearbox. I tried to focus on other things when I realize that he was not wearing any socks and his feet smelled. However, when the topic of what to eat came around, it was hard not to notice the bad smell when all you want to do is smell chicken or cheese cake and instead all you can smell is feet that were in shoes without socks for hours. It is bad for the car, it is bad for others, it is bad for me, it is bad for you. If you want a ride, please keep your feet on the floor. I am giving you a free ride, and thus you do not need to pay me back with your feet smell.

2. Slamming doors or the trunk real hard

   These days, the right front passenger door of my car makes a kind of a hissing and flapping sound on the outside when I’m driving fast. The sound is coming from the side rubber panels that have ripped away from the actual door, thanks for many people getting a ride and then slamming the door of the car as if it will not close unless closed with full plutonic force. Also, people think that trunks are made out of unbreakable materials, or they try to shut the trunk hard to make sure drivers can feel that the trunk has been closed.

   The main guy who caused those passenger door rubber rods to flap out knows about it, and simply says “It was like that since the beginning“, when he himself said “Man, what is that sound? It wasn’t there before.” It is like giving me a gift in return for me giving you a ride: I give you a ride and you give me a damaged door.

3. Changing the radio station or audio volume without asking first

   This is not the rule that you see in stereotypical Hollywood movies where anyone who is black starts shooting if their car radio station is changed by someone else. If I am listening to a radio station, simply ask if you can change it or say you want to change it and then go ahead and change it if I do not object.

   I was listening to an important news last year about a bridge that collapsed in the Bay Area on a station I accidentally found through the channel search feature on my radio, and the person I was giving the ride to got into the car and immediately put on a preset I had set on the radio without asking or even thinking first. He just wanted to listen to random music. I could not find that new station again, and as expected the route I took to avoid that damaged bridge was crowded, resulting in a more than 2 hour drive that spanned around 7 miles.

4. Not closing car windows completely

   If I am driving and I can hear wind flushing through some lightly open window, I try to close that window. “You are hearing too much.” No, I want to close the window completely. “You must have really good hearing.” No, I want to close the window completely. “You are too paranoid.” No, I want to close the window completely. I am not sure how people can sit and ignore or not hear such a sound while assuming that they have closed the window completely. The sound that the air makes squeezing in through that small layer of opening is loud enough to reach the driver, me, all the way from the passenger side; how come the passenger does not care where that sound is coming from?

   In addition to hearing, you can feel the wind blowing in a little bit from the back, as the air gushes in and comes back to the front. So if you are hard at hearing or cannot hear, slowly you may get used to the change in the air in the car and realize that some window is not fully closed. If not, then I must have super powers in order to hear and feel that some window is not fully closed, and be able to pinpoint which window too. Similarly, if you open some window and I drop you, close the window and do not just leave it open. I am driving the car and unless I was part of the Fantastic Four, I have to lean at least a little bit in order to drive and roll up your window also. You did something. You undo it too when you are leaving.

5. Opening different car doors without asking first

   If you want to put your bags in the back, try to ask first. Simply walking up to a car you have never or rarely ridden in and trying to open the back door or the trunk or actually opening the trunk or the locks of the back doors without asking is impolite. It is like opening other people’s house doors to lodge the extra stuff you have. Maybe the driver has stuff that he/she can move, or maybe they would like you to put your stuff in some specific location. Asking first is better than opening the car openings without permission.

   I used to give a ride to a scary neighbor from time to time, and since day 1 he would come and start opening the doors in the entire car without asking and putting even his lightest of belongings, like his cap, in the back. A few times he would try to open the trunk and then tap hard on the trunk a few times, signaling me to open it. Make sure you pay me if I’m your slave driver. Or wait: are slaves supposed to be paid? Hmmm.

6. Making the driver come to you instead of you walking to the car

   What is with people who want car rides and do not walk towards the car when it is there for them? I have to drive all the way to align the car door to their feet in order for them to get in. Soon they will want me to open the door and carry them and put them into their seats also. It is as if the person getting the ride is doing the ride giver a favor.

   A person I was giving a ride to, regularly during some weeks last year, never used to walk to the car. If I had trouble getting past other cars, or if there were many pedestrians and I had to wait for those pedestrians to cross, this person would not walk over even if he was only less than 20 feet away. He used to stand there looking at my car, holding his back pack and waiting for my car door to align with his right foot. I should have charged him for the limo service that he was getting.

7. Putting your belongings everywhere without asking

   This goes along a little bit with the point of opening extra doors or the trunk to put your stuff in: if you have a lot of stuff, it is nice to ask where to put it. Putting dirty stuff on clean things or clean stuff on dirty things usually results in clean things getting dirty, and not dirty things getting cleaned.

   Someone I gave ride to long time ago would put his dirty, wet dirty bag onto the clean back seat or my books that were supposedly sitting quietly on the back seat. Once the book the bag sat on caused the first half of that small book to soak in the water. The reaction of the guy when I told him about it? “Ohhh, I guess those two don’t get along with each other.” Whether or not that made sense, I knew that cars and this guy did not get along: he did not deserve to be in a car.

7 things to avoid on your next ride with me - till the next part of this series at least

There you go. Those are the 7 things to avoid, when getting a car ride, for today. Stay tuned for the next time when 7 more horrible sins are revealed for your consideration, in case you wanted to annoy some driver while he or she was giving you a ride, or if you wanted to make sure I think agreeing to give you a ride was a bad idea.

Thanks for reading. Please let me know if you have experienced any of these points yourself, or if you have yourself done any of the above.

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1. You doubt a complete group of people immediately while trusting the other one completely

   Imagine me telling you that a certain group of people did something bad, and that you immediately come to the conclusion that those people are bad and that you should not expect anything better from them. Now imagine me telling you that some people from the groups that you associate with did something bad, and that you immediately say things along the lines of “Well, they must have had a reason” or “It was only them who did it” or “I am not sure, I need to know the whole story before I judge.” Chances are you discriminate against a certain group immediately, while thinking critically when it comes to judging your own group of people.

   When you hear about some Jews acting bad, you immediately agree that they are bad. When you hear about some Muslims acting bad, you immediately make sure that you try to ask for more proof or verification of the story, or you try not to judgment, opposite to what you did in the case of the Jews. The exact opposite story, interchanging the Muslims with the Jews and vice versa is a similar example. No matter what side you may be supporting, you discriminate against the other instantly and start passing judgments as if your opinions are thought our critically.

   When you hear about some militant groups in Africa molesting and raping young children in certain areas in order to spread more fear, you start concluding that they are less civilized. When you hear about some American soldiers molesting or raping girls in Japan and some other bases, you immediately start doubting the story, asking for more verification, and maybe even starting to pinpoint the bad things about the foreign country in which such reported incidents take place. You may call such a trait patriotism; in reality, it is racism and a form of stupidity thriving together.

2. Your pro-country mentality result in you hating a certain country or group of people

   This is a huge headache in many cases. Europeans hating the Americans, Americans hating the Europeans, Palestinians hating the Israelis, Israelis hating the Palestinians, Canadians hating Americans, Americans hating Canadians, Pakistanis hating Indians, Indians hating Pakistanis, Mexicans hating Americans, Americans hating Mexicans, North Koreans hating the Americans, Americans hating the North Koreans, Chinese hating Japanese, Japanese hating Chinese, Iranians hating the Americans, Americans hating the Iranians, etc etc etc. It is as if countries were built to hate each other. I realize they were.

   A small group of people from some hurt your country, and you are going to start hating the entire group of people or the majority of some country that those people are from because of that? Take your racist, narrow-minded mentalities somewhere else. I do not care. Anytime you automatically stereotype a majority or all people associated with a group of people because of your love for your own country, stay away from me, and instead impose your racist views on your family or your poor do-not-have-a-future-because-of-racist-parents children. Every country in this world is suffering, and every country in this world is inflicting harm on some other weaker country. Having a full circle of hating one another because of that only spreads racism.

3. Your pro-religion mentality results in you hating a certain country or group of people

   Christians against the Muslims, Muslims against the Christians, Buddhists against other religions, other religions against atheism and Buddhism, etc. How many times, every week or every minute of the day, do we see ourselves or someone else, either in real life or on TV, stereotype against a certain religion or someone or a group of people who try to follow a certain religion, or who may be directly or indirectly associated with a certain religion.

   If someone brings up something bad about a religion you do not know about, you agree that it is bad. If someone brings up something bad about your religion, you want to inquire more, you try to defend your religion, you try to criticize every critic of your religion. For you, reality does not revolve around what is happening. For you, reality revolves around your religion being right and you defending it. That mentality is the exact same as those people who go around the entire planet torturing innocent people because of religion: killing people in Middle East because of religion, burning mosques and churches in America, prosecuting all religious people in many countries, torturing non-religious people in several religious countries, etc. It is as if your religion exists in order to spread torture, and you exist in order to spread racism.

4. Your pro-ethnic mentality results in you hating certain ethnicities while completely favoring some over the other

   Try remembering the last time someone brought up some major ethnic discrimination event from years ago, in order to justify your own hatred or discrimination for others. Maybe try remembering the last time you yourself cited some major event of racism or hatred in order to justify your hatred against some group of people. Did you yourself suffer anything, literally, in person? How many Vietnamese people who complain about the Vietnam war were actually in the Vietnam and suffered in person, and are thus not enjoying life at all today? How many of the African American youth today which complains about being stereotyped were actually stereotyped and hurt in person in the 60’s and 70’s, since that is the era I keep hearing everyday from the mouth of many?

   How many people have actually seen a Jewish person steal money, a French act stupid and drunk, an Arab blow up something, a Canadian act illiterate of the world events, an American molest females in army bases in other countries, a Mexican steal your job literally, a Cuban bring drugs in his shoes, a black man listen to rap music while robbing your neighbor, and a white person running around screaming out “KKK FOR ALL” at the top of his or her lungs? There can be hundreds of more examples along the lines of what I just said. A lot of these things have happened, and a lot of these things are not happening. How can we look at the example of a few and stereotype everyone? You are going to stereotype everyone or even a large group of people, people you know nothing about, simply based on what some specific people have done?

   Your excuse of “I know not everyone is like that” is stupid, pathetic and immature, considering the fact that you are always stereotyping that certain ethnic group and that when you are cornered you resort to that defense. Most people who complain about discrimination against them, in order to justify their own discriminatory views, have not experienced any of the above, yet they will say “I know it has happened to others, so I know what is going on.” Really? If we used such mentality, then all the Chinese, Japanese, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Americans, Mexicans, Canadians, French, Europeans, Russians, Buddhists, and more would be hating everyone on this planet, because I know a lot of Japanese, Koreans, Muslims, Christians, Anti-semitic-yet-do-not-realize-it, Europeans, Americans, Russians, and other people who have suffered physically in reality and people who simply cry on the bandwagon because someone else in the distant suffered or their great great grandfathers suffered.

   “Avoid saying such things which stereotype and hurt other people and their image“, I say. “Why don’t you mind your own god damn business or get lost.” Awesome mentality you have. Keep saying things that mingle with other people’s lives and business, but when others tell you to not say such things, you tell others to mind their own business. That is some amazing mature mentality you have.

   Similarly, hating some ethnicity or feeling discriminated simply because your ancestors suffered does not mean you suffered. Suffering the after effects is one thing, and not suffering anything and being genetically linked to people who suffered, while enjoying life, is not equivalent to suffering yourself. There are many of us who have actually suffered in our lifetime more than you and your ancestors combined. Trying to attract the sympathy of others, by playing the victims game, in order to justify your own hatred when in reality you have suffered nothing is stupid. Such a logic does not equivilate to you being justified in hating others.

5. You cannot help yourself from making certain ethnic or religious jokes which completely stereotype and hurt others, while you cannot make certain jokes about some ethnicities or religion

   Ever hear the joke about the sex-addict and stupid French woman? Ever hear the joke about the terrorist Arab? Ever hear the joke about the miser Jew? Ever hear the joke about the stupid Japanese? Ever hear the joke about the illiterate American redneck? Chances are, you may have heard all of these jokes, but you may not be comfortable with all of them. If you do joke about some ethnicities but cannot joke about some other specific ethnicities, you may be racist. Simply joking about every ethnicity does not make you an anti-Racist; it just shows that you hate many more ethnicities than a typical racist person.

   There is a difference between joking and not meaning things and realizing when it may hurt people and when it may only be a joke, and joking and hurting people and claiming that you did not intend to hurt anyone. If you are not good at realizing when it will hurt someone, stop joking.

   You are comfortable at making fun of French or the Germans people but not the British? You are comfortable making fun of Buddhists or atheists but not the Christians? You are comfortable making fun of the Chinese or Koreans but not the Japanese? You are comfortable making fun of Muslims or the Arabs but not the Jews? You are comfortable making fun of Colombians or Cubans but not the Mexicans? You are comfortable making fun of people with light colored skins but not dark skin? You are comfortable making fun of anyone else except anything you try to associate with yourself or a group that the society around you tries to associate with? Poor you, you stereotypical racist moron. Your jokes are ways for you to be scared of being racist and be a racist at the same time, since your supposed-”it’s a joke“-disclaimer can probably make someone not beat you up for being stupid.

6. You stereotype all the time, and you try to hide behind jokes or certain disclosures.

   This is a trend that is slowly gaining more acceptance and ridicule at the same depending, depending on different people. Repeatedly making jokes about someone’s ethnicity, religion, lack of religion, lack of ethnicity, their background or anything else, which hurts someone, means you do not care about that person. That also means your jokes exist solely to make racist and discriminatory remarks, and that you are hiding behind your jokes to get away with your inability to not hate someone directly or indirectly because of things outside their control, like their background, as if someone was completely wrong with it in all situations.

   When you know a joke can hurt or simply offend someone, as to why you are making that joke in context to someone who is involved in the conversation or joke with you, there is no point in saying “I’m sorry” afterwards. Why be sorry when you are continuously doing whatever you are doing anyhow?

Racism Rules! Literally.

These are the 6 signs that show the racism in you, me and others. These are also the 6 signs you can use to observe others around you and see whether or not someone exhibits some forms of hate or discrimination against some person or a group of people. Ideas and feelings of racism, without actually experiencing anything bad ourselves, are all around us. Even when we experience something ourselves directly, the idea of racism or hating a group of people only increases or takes turns. It can be very hard to simply keep such feelings inside of us.

I do not care what religion you have, what country you are from, what ethnicity you fantasize about, and what color you love blending in with. Treat me the way I act and am, and I will treat you in the same manner. Act racist around me, and I will simply realize that I wasted time around a loser like you. It’s your life; you can live in your small little racist bubble and feel all powerful and righteous. We both know what you really are. All I care about are actual actions, feelings and experiences in life.

Every point mentioned above can be observed as having different levels of dedication. Some people commit to some or all of the above points all the time, while others resort to it from time to time. Still, some people simply say some extreme things without actually being racist in order to make a point. However, if the listener or other people do not realize that you made a point, you have actually hurt the other person. What is the point of not being racist when your actions are hurting others as if you were racist? How about not being a racist and making sure whatever you do does not hurt others either?

Thank you for reading. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go to near an Indian owned 7-eleven to a Boba place owned by Koreans where only Asian workers are cashiers and only Mexicans make Boba in the back room, with the only non-Asian customers at night being white kids who read comics and where a black person will almost never be a customer. Or maybe I’ll go eat at Jack-in-the-Box next to it where I can focus more on getting curly fries than on the ethnic or background segregation of the drive-thru people or the people making the food. Who said fast food places were good for nothing?

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1. Hair

   This is one of the most common ways to judge someone’s professionalism. If you are male and always have hair that is out of control, you will most probably be considered as an unprofessional person. For men, not shaving your facial hair for a day or two automatically shows many people what kind of an unprofessional hobo you are. Usually, the length of the hair also plays a strong role in creating stereotypes as to whether or not certain hair style implies professionalism.

   For example, for many people, a guy having long, untied or wavy, hair may imply weirdness and unprofessionalism, as guys are usually expected to have short or neatly tied hair. Similarly, a lady having short, typically-man-style hair or having a clean, shaved head usually results in people not knowing how to treat that lady the same way they would respect a lady who has long hair. Bruce Willis shaving his shaven head is all right, but Britney Spears shaving her head is not; many people will not even ask why she shaved her head before criticizing her for being a fool for shaving her head. Having long hair can result in people stereotyping about you even outside the realm of professionalism.

2. Money

   Oh yes, money money money! The money issue is stronger than ever before in many cases. If you are poor, you will have a hard time being perceived as a person who exhibits professionalism. You do not give expensive birthday gifts to others, you do not leave large amount of tips at restaurants, and you try to save money in many other ways; you will, in most cases, be looked upon in an inferior manner.

   You never pay for others when going out? In many business situations that can be considered a sign that you are poor (or a cheapskate). If you ever mention in any situation that you do not have enough money or that you are saving money, many people may start thinking you are unprofessional on some levels, since you do not have enough money and thus may have problems.

3. Tattoos

   There was a day when tattoos were considered to be signs of thugs and bike riders, as if they were both exactly the same type of people. Well, tattoos are still the original trademarks of these two groups of people, though today more and more people are getting tattoos as it can make someone feel better and more important in many cases. On Ronald’s site, he talked about how tattoos can be bad, and that resulted in a lot of support for tattoos.

   In most places today, especially in the office workplace, having exposed tattoos on your body can result in people thinking you are the Gothic, emo², or a similar type of individual who can snap or bite anytime. People with tattoos are rarely perceived as being completely quiet these days, so if you have the tattoo of me or the words “Bes Z The Reasoner” springing up from your neck so that everyone can see it, the world might mistreat you (but I won’t. :p )³.

4. Where you live

   Imagine being with a group of people who keep inviting everyone to their big homes in nice neighborhoods. And when you invite everyone, you worry and panic a lot as you have a small home or an apartment in a not-so rich and a not-so clean neighborhood.

   A lot of people use their own feelings of feeling safe as a tool to judge others. So if someone feels uncomfortable in your neighborhood, they may start wondering if you are someone who is also a low-life scum, since many people who live in poor neighborhoods are considered to be losers by many people. Professionalism must be reflected in your home, in the eyes of many. The mere mention of an unsafe city name or neighborhood will result in people stereotyping your professionalism.

5. External attitude

   External attitude is another word for something that I view as your behavior that is intended towards other people around you. Today, usually serious and non-moody people are considered to be great examples of good professionalism. If you laugh too much, bam! You are not that professional. You argue too much? Well, that is considered bad too, even though people who are always joking and laughing and not being serious are usually considered less professional than people who start more arguments or fights.

   This trait is what I call the personality.

6. Internal attitude

   This is what I consider your behavior that revolves around you, mainly for your own self. You read comics, watch cartoons and like building objects with Legos? You will usually be considered as a person not showing any good signs of professionalism.

   You read Business Week, watch depressing World News, and like setting up e-mail accounts on your cell phone? You will be considered to have good signs of professionalism.

   You like gummy bears? You prefer McDonald’s to restaurant food? You prefer playing with your cat or dog instead of going to office drinking parties? Bam! You know nothing about professionalism.

   This trait is what I call the character.

7. Your method of transportation

   This is one of the most stereotypical ways to figure out whether or not we think someone exhibits professionalism, and it is also one of the most common ones. You need a brand new car or a clean looking car that impresses when being looked at, in order to be accepted as a person who exhibits professionalism.

   You have the crappiest car on the planet? Your car has a cracked or a broken window? Your car makes the weirdest and loudest noise when you drive it? In such cases, other people today will rarely ask you about what professionalism means, unless they want to be sarcastic.

   You ride a bus to work or school or everywhere? You already lost a lot of professionalism points to someone who has a car. You get rides from someone else? You are a loser, and are considered to have no professionalism, and are someone who depends on favors to survive. You ride a motor bike or a bicycle to places? You are considered to have less money and professionalism values than people with nice cars who can give others rides.

8. Attire

   Your attire includes your clothes, shoes and your watch. I give this a separate category as this is what most people usually see when they see you. If your clothes are wrinkled or dirty or old, you usually do not show any signs of professionalism in the eyes of many. Similarly, your shoes must be new or polished, and your watch must be something to drool over. Try scoring good points in every other stereotypical point listed here except the shoes, and wear torn out shoes. See how people react.

   The watch is a tricky issue. You should have a watch. Your watch must be on the right place. It must be a certain type of watch, and it must not have a lot of characteristics that watches for females have, and vice versa. Anything different, and you are already making some people doubt as to whether or not you can practice professionalism naturally.

9. Relationships

   Are you single, married or divorced? Many people will judge your professionalism based on that. What kind of friends do you hang out with? People will stereotype your character and level of professionalism based on that.

   You yourself are a good person but have a friend or two who are thugs? You will be considered a good example of unprofessionalism. You have rich or famous friends? Professionalism is the topic in which people cite you as a good example.

   Then comes your family. Ohhh, sweet old family. They are a bunch of poor old folks living in a crappy neighborhood and you live with them? Haha, out goes your professionalism in the eyes of many, specially some significant others. You visit your poor parents a lot and act normal around them and let them be the way they are, while you blend in completely in their old house? Down goes the professionalism, even if it was a little bit to begin with.

10. Job

    In today’s world, for many people this can be the most important factor in figuring out the level of professionalism in you. Your job status and the kind of job you may have makes other people judge you a lot. You do not have a job? Your professionalism points went down by 30%. No, make that 50%.

    You’re a blogger? What the hell is a blogger? BAM! Your professionalism points went down by 80%! Take that you so-called blogger-whatever!

    You have a high paying job? You exhibit professionalism. You have a home based business? You may or may not have the same amount of professionalism as the person with the high paying job, unless your home job gets you more profit.

    You have the same job as your co-workers, yet you work from home. How popular are you at the company picnic? What makes you so good to work from home while others have to suffer from the cubical anxiety?

    You work as a janitor? Many people will think you are not a human and that you have gone mad if you start talking about professionalism. You have no job or are a student? You have yet to earn any real and worthy professionalism.

10 stereotypical ways to unprofessionalism

Those are the 10 stereotypical obstacles to offline professionalism, where others will think you exhibit or do not exhibit professionalism based on things completely irrelevant to what real professionalism is about.

Can you think up of any more points? What are your views on any of the above points?

Thank you for reading. You have shown extra amount of professionalism because of reading my article.

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If I stop at a gas station,
you are always right behind me.
If I don’t have enough money,
you choke the gas attendant to make sure the gas’s free.
If I lock myself out of my house,
you somehow have the extra key.
I usually wake up from a nightmare,
dreaming you are right beside me.

People sometimes tell me,
“You two look good as a couple.”
I look around and see no one,
and ask “DAMN WHAT COUPLE?”
“Relax, the two of you, silly”³,
they say while pointing behind me.
I quickly turn and from the corner of my eye,
see a shadow disappear behind me⁴.

People sometimes ask me,
“You’re alone. Where is your boyfriend?”
I say “What are you talking about?”
They say “we’re talking about your boyfriend!”
I guess homophobic people are aplenty⁵,
so having any guy close by means he is your boyfriend.
At least I know that one more person since last month has started following me⁶,
that this time it is a guy, and probably a supposed-friend.
I guess having an invisible stalker in the eyes of many,
can result in having a boyfriend.

I am worried, something freaky is going on,
why am I the only one being followed?
Now I know what a girl feels like,
when by desperate guys she is followed⁷.
It’s all right, life is full of weird things,
like having 2 people get obsessed with me at the same time⁸,
one being a homophobic girl and the other being a yet-to-be-gay guy who likes that girl⁹.
I guess recognition won’t come this way,
but one following the other, stalkers keep falling like the rain.
Though I wonder, why would anyone want to follow a soul who always gets a “Inzane! Zain, you are inzain!“,
a soul that brings change and happiness to others but inside may have a lot of pain.

Could it be because you like that other girl,
the very girl that is also obsessing about me?¹⁰
Could it be that in your search for vengeance for your pointless life,
you started following the very person who can see your pointless life: me?
O’ moronic Stalker, I don’t carry signs that say “Available for stalking“,
go stalk the girl stalker who is obsessed with me.
You two will be happy together, stalking and preying on each other,
in the wonderful game that stalkers call “The Stalking Spree.”

Long live you, O’ Stalker,
At least you don’t stalk me like that girl,
the girl who is a self-proclaimed girlfriend of mine.
Die soon you, O’ Stalkers,
since you’re both creepy,
and because I want you to stay away from my life of a drowning cloud.
I have enough and better wonders in my own life,
things that hopefully one day will be spoken out loud.
Maybe one day you both will realize and tell others, out of the entire world,
what Bes is and was really all about.

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Female taxi drivers: California vs. Alabama

Seeing a female taxi driver in Alabama was nice and surprising at the same time, since in California you rarely see a female driving a taxi. The last two times I told someone about probably seeing a female taxi driver at Los Angeles International Airport and how that was a good thing, I was asked “You sure?” repeatedly as if I had imagined something horrible. And they say California is ahead of Alabama in every manner. Maybe it is ahead in terms of women being expected to take a more feminine role here in many places. Of course, in Alabama, you also have to consider that many females have to earn a living for the whole family and driving a taxi may be a good solution, compared to California where for females who want to support their families there are more opportunities other than driving.

Why do you think there are not that many woman taxi drivers out there, in America and in other parts of the world? Is safety, the reason that most people cite as the answer to such a question, the main or the only reason for such a trend?

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Since I have divided a single concept of being narrow-minded and selfish into specific points, I think there are a few things to keep in mind while reading this list. First, I am assuming we know what friendship means and what a friend is, and that we also know how to identify friends and how to identify people who are not friends but who love the idea of calling everyone a friend. Second, identifying such traits as below does not mean that your friend are definitely narrow-minded or selfish. Also, many times friends may simply be acting in certain manners because no one has told or showed them otherwise, and thus you telling them about it somehow can help. You may also be misinterpreting things due to some complex nature of your friendship. Your friend may simply be acting selfish or narrow-minded in one or only a few instances related to something because of some reason, and you may mistakenly assume that your friend is completely narrow-minded or selfish. Therefore, we are talking about friends who keep exhibiting the traits below over and over again, and not just once and never again.

Also, by selfish, I mean the real evil selfishness where a selfish friend may indirectly harm another innocent friend simply to gain something for their own selfish interest, no matter how big or small such harm may be. Other than that, I am the type of human being who considers everyone to have a lot of selfish things, as I have been pointing out for years on my site. For example, I wrote this article with the selfish purpose of expressing myself and for wanting to get heard by at least one [any] individual out there. Sure, such a thing cannot be considered selfish by many people, and many people may say I am too caring of others. I agree, and while such a trait can be extremely bad and dangerous to my own self, I have a principle of wanting to applying both random and non-random principles to things, as it allows me to realize when an act is bad and when it is not, among many other things. Similarly, I focus a lot on real selfish things in other people, selfish things that tend to hurt others on purpose.

All of the following signs are some of the signs from my countless experiences with different kind of friends.

5 signs of narrow-minded, selfish friends

1. Friends who come close only when they are depressed

   This type of friend comes close only when they are depressed. This also means that they do not interact with you even if you want to ask for some guidance or help. For such friends, your good qualities that they can use in order to become happy or happier or distracted, tend to be the only friendly aspect they wish to see in you.

   Whether or not such friends realize their behavior, you can get used because of their narrow-mindedness. There is nothing wrong with being down and needing help, whether emotionally, mentally or physically. However, there is something seriously wrong with making sure that friends are only needed when you are depressed, and not appreciated on purpose when you are not depressed.

2. Friends who come close only when you agree with them

   This type of friends wants everyone to agree with them. There cannot be disagreements or ignoring any topic, and if you disagree, you will be treated differently.

   Handling such friends can be tricky, since handling friends overall is tricky enough by itself. How do you convince someone to still respect you and still act 100% when you disagree about something with them? Whether it is something related to business or a personal opinion about a personal issue, these friends wants everyone to agree with them. They will not show such a behavior easily, and anytime they accept disagreements or different options, they will brag about such a behavior. However, when they cannot control themselves anymore, they will hate you and not respect your friendship simply because you disagree about anything that they support, or vice versa.

3. Friends who go away when you try to pinpoint issues

   This type of friends cannot hear any form of issues or problems with anything, even if such issues and problems may be affecting the friendship. Many of such friends love pointing issues themselves, but if you point them, they act weird.

   Many times, two friends can be completely different. That is why if one is acting in a manner that is affect the other one negatively, it is better to bring up the issue somehow in order to address it. However, your friend might simply act distant or unresponsive if you bring up the issue even in the most respectful and light manner. If you try to bring an issue, they will become defensive or try to act rude by not focusing on the friendship aspect of things.

4. Friends who act stubborn and righteous all the time

   These types of friend want to be right all the time. They are also opposed to realizing that some problem may be because of their own actions or thoughts. Many of such friends also love to point issues with others all the time, similar to the #4 type of friends above, while not accepting the fact that maybe they themselves may not be right about something.

   Such supposed friends act immature many times by not actually acting like monkeys, but through their changed behavior regarding many things. This can be mainly because of being spoiled in many ways, and they do not realize it. They had rather tell others all the time what is wrong with others instead of realizing any problem in their own self.

5. Friends who hate some things about you unethically and let that hate affect their interaction with you

   This can be one of the most complicated types of friends. You may have a friend who hates something about you unethically, like your race, background, your way of doing things, and because of that hate, such people will let the friendship be affected all the time, or whenever such friends feel moody.

   How do we know when a friend discriminates? How do we know when a friend has racist bias against you? How do we know when a friend hates you for something like your background, your name, your gender, your sex, your job, or something else? Such questions can bother your mind when it comes to realizing why a friend is acting in a certain manner. Such questions plague me regularly when it comes to some friends I know.

There you have it. The above are 5 signs of selfish or narrow-minded friends that can affect you negatively directly and indirectly through the friendship.

What is one of the main reasons for all of this? Not being considerate.

Majority of such issues as above happen because of one thing: not being considerate of others. Many friends can have their own logic, but they will not be considerate of others. Such people may not realize that, or they may hide such a trait under different unrelated ideas in order to not look bad, like “being strong“, or “not caring about opposition“, or “not being affected by things easily” or something similar. All such things do exist, but not in the world of inconsiderate people; inconsiderate people simply use such words to hide their inconsiderate and selfish nature.

Many people are simply inconsiderate of others. The more you are considerate of others, the more you realize how someone else may be taking advantage of you since you can easily realize the situations when being considerate of others can happen only when someone else is unfairly wanting everything and not being considerate of you on purpose.

I say “on purpose” above since many times a friend might be inconsiderate of you unconsciously, in which case you can bring up such a situation somehow in order to make sure your friendship is not affected by your friend’s behavior.

A live example of being considerate in your own life?

An example in point for everything? In the entire article above, I talked about other selfish and arrow-minded friends. I did not classify you as being one of them, and I did not classify myself as one of them either. It is one of the many writing styles to talk about others as examples. However, did you ever think “I wonder about the times when Bes may be wrong or inconsiderate of others.” Did you notice me pointing the finger only at others without pointing it at you or myself? Realizing such things can help a lot in finding out different things about ourselves, before we start finding those same things in others. My reason for not pointing fingers at you as an example or myself is to talk about things that I have experience with and people I really know. Also, hopefully the above points are something that are not present in me, as I can easily identify them in many people.

Most of the offline people I know say that I am the most considerate person they have ever met. Am I considerate of everything and everyone? No. However, as I live life everyday, I learn more about more things as time passes, and about more people as I interact with more and more people to make sure I am considerate about as many things as possible. That is one of my qualities: I can be considerate of others even if I have to make myself uncomfortable. That is simply my character, and of course in many cases it is not a limitless trait that never stops for any reason.

The topic of consideration warrants so much coverage or importance in my view, that I hope I can write at least one book on the subject, or something related, within the next three years. I think this article should be enough to serve as a brief summary of the introduction of what the concept of being considerate can do to friendships on a general, broad level.

How do you ignore such problems and focus on friendship?

You cannot. You can never ignore such problems if they keep coming back and if you want a good friend, or else your friendship will be more like a stereotypical business deal where two parties are so desperate for money [or something physical or mental in the friendship] that everything else like happiness or real respect and real appreciation will be forgotten. The friendships, where problems are ignored, turn into friendships that have nothing friendly about them.

As for me, I have the “nasty habit“, as some people say, of valuing friendships a lot and on working a lot on solving issues. There is a cut off point, though, where a friendship is more dangerous than anything, and where the permanent danger cannot be avoided unless one forgoes the friendship. That can be an article for another day.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for hopefully being considerate of my bragging of both of my good and bad points related to my concept and value of relationships and friendships, which I did on purpose to help clarify further the things I am trying to show about friendships.

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Take the online interaction allowed through social networking. More and more people are interacting online because they do not know how to interact with people in the offline world. That is both good and bad. It is good because it allows everyone to have an equal chance of meeting new people; if you cannot find self respect from others in the offline world or cannot meet new people easily in the offline world, you can try to build your character and contacts in the online world. It is bad because online social networking sites give you interaction skills that make you treat other human beings as a bunch of online protocols.

Many people cannot apply the same online communication principles to the offline world

Many people can poke on Facebook but they do not know how to communicate occasionally offline. Many guys love adding beautiful random girls online on MySpace but they do not know how to make any kind of a friend in the offline world. Online, a guy or a girl tells the other one how much love exists between them through Orkut, but that same person does not know what love is without sex or money in the offline world. People who are good at telling the truth online through their social networking blogs and messages to other online contacts, are also usually good at lying about the same things offline and vice versa, because they simply do not know how to communicate in the offline world.

Many people love disagreeing with their virtual friends without any logic, yet the same people do not know how to deal with anyone disagreeing with them in the offline world. Many people know when to block and delete a friend from their online social networking account, yet those same people do not know when an offline friend is actually not a friend and should simply be ignored, and vice versa. People can talk about honesty and friendship online through a lot of philosophical words in order to impress, but in real life, one can end friendship over sex, a dollar, a movie ticket, a disagreement, stubbornness or even food. Similarly, other people can talk about honesty and friendship in the online world in a very simple manner, yet they cannot help but complicate the same things in the offline world.

Why? Many people not know how to keep in mind all the different variables involved when communicating in the offline world, including the variable of being selfless sometimes.

Are online social networking sites so easy to use that people are deleting their own common sense?

I wonder if, at least for some people, the online social networking sites are making them better at portraying an illusion of communication online, yet making those same people clueless as to how to respect others and how to be considerate to others when it comes to socializing and interacting with other people in the offline world.

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I am seeing an increasing trend where many online bloggers are helping and linking mostly to bloggers from their own ethnic background only. This is probably a trait carried on from the offline world, where one prefers and gives better treatment to people depending on their ethnic background. By ethnic background, I am referring solely to the ethnic background of a person, and no other connection.

The blogs in question could be about any topic, but a person, or you, may prefer linking or reading them simply because the blogger in question is of the same ethnicity as yourself, and not because of the topic in question. In the process of doing so, a person is deliberately ignoring people from other ethnicities, simply because they are from a different ethnic background.

Is your favorite blogger giving preferential treatment based on ethnic backgrounds?

Check out majority of the top blogs on the internet today, including all the ones you visit each and every single day. Check out this very site too, and check out your sites too if you have one. If many of the top blogs do not usually link to each other based on the amount of income one makes, then many of those blogs prefer linking to each other based on their ethnic background affiliations. Do you also notice such a trend?

Some people can mix ethnicity to country affiliations too. Americans preferring American bloggers, Australians preferring Australian bloggers, Brazilians preferring Brazilian bloggers, Canadians preferring Canadian bloggers, Chinese preferring Chinese bloggers, French preferring French bloggers, Indians preferring Indian bloggers, Japanese preferring Japanese bloggers, Mexicans preferring Mexican bloggers, Vietnamese preferring Vietnamese bloggers, and so on. Instead of using the internet to be more equal and to do away with racial and ethnic differences, we are using the internet to increase the awareness of such socially constructed differences even more.

A brief view of a brief summary my view on ethnic backgrounds and affiliations

The topic of how much I dislike ethnic affiliations requires a book of its own. I personally oppose any idea of preferential treatment based on ethnic identities. I consider everyone, including myself, to be equal unless and until someone brings me back to my senses by asking me about my ethnic background and by making me realize how different or same of a human being I may be in the eyes of others. For me, ethnic identification is just a stereotype, since every human being is unique and has her or his own abilities that may be similar to the abilities of other people.

I dislike talking about my ethnic background, since in my view talking about such a thing does nothing but give others better ways to stereotype. I am me; judge me, if you must, based on how I act and based on how I think and based on what I feel, and not based on how some specific group out there may act or think or feel. “You are from Japan? No wonder you like sushi. You are of African decent? No wonder you like rap music. You are American? No wonder you support any and all wars. You are European or Middle Eastern? No wonder you oppose any and all wars. You from the same ethnic background as me? We are good friends already! You have the same ethnicity as me? I will treat you better, and you should treat me better too.” All pure rubbish views, in my view, because they are derived solely from stereotypes based on ethnic generalities and assumptions. I do not care what your ethnicity is. All I care is how you have and will act around me and others, and towards me, others and yourself, and why. Thats is it. Nothing else matters to me when it comes to me respecting you. Absolutely nothing.

Do you prefer linking to, or reading things by bloggers who are of the same ethnic background as yourself?

What do you think? Do you support the idea of linking to or reading blogs written by bloggers from the same ethnic background?

Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

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I was reading a blog post by Connor Wilson recently, in which Connors was opposed to the idea of a guy called Franky criticizing Matt Mullenweg regarding the issue of banning sponsored WordPress themes for the WordPress platform. In the post, Connor also said the following:

In the above quote, Connor said that Franky should not use the name of Matt in order to generate traffic for Franky’s site. That made me think: how can one be sure that a blog article really intends to be critical, and how can one be sure when a blog article was written simply to attract traffic? Is there a way to prove that something was written to be critical, or if something was written only to generate traffic? The same idea can be applied to Franky’s post; how can we know he really got affected by Matt’s decision on sponsored WordPress themes, since he is still using the WordPress software on the very site he criticized Matt on?

Some people criticize in order to be heard. Others criticize to get website traffic. Yet others combine the two to get both.

There is nothing wrong with producing quality content and expecting incoming traffic. That is why whenever there is a critical analysis about something, one of the questions that comes to my mind is “Why is he or she interested in this topic?” Similarly, when a post is not a critical analysis and is instead simply criticism about something, I wonder about the same question. Sometimes, people write articles simply to impress readers and generate traffic. Other times, people criticize others because they actually feel they are not satisfied with something.

Is there a way to find out when a blog post was written only to get traffic, or if it was written with at least a little bit intention of sincerely talking about some issue?

That makes me wonder if there is any good way to figure out when a criticizing article was written to be only a linkbait, and when a criticizing article was written because there was something useful to write about. Can I say that Connor was only trying to generate traffic for his site by criticizing Franky, or can I say that Franky was only trying to generate traffic for his site by criticizing Matt? Can they both be sincerely criticizing something they are not happy with? Or could they both be using different names simply to attract traffic? How can you be sure that this very post of mine that you are reading was not written only to generate traffic?

Is it ever possible to criticize someone else without being called a person who only wants publicity and nothing else?

Are stereotyping or misinterpreting writing which criticizes someone or something we value to be written only to generate traffic and for no other benefit? Is writing something to generate traffic always bad? How can we ever criticize anyone or anything without worrying that someone out there may think that we are criticizing intentionally only to get attention for our website? Is anything that is done to earn money or get something like blog traffic not good at all? What level of scale or analysis can be used online to find out the answer?

The answer can very easy or hard, depending on whether or not we have experience with such things in both the online and the offline world.

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1. Importance is based on earnings

   Many people think that the richer a blogger is, the more important that blogger is supposed to be. The next time you run into a blogger and want to act discriminatory, or simply want to stereotype them, simply find out how much money they make, and worship them accordingly.

   This stereotype is the reason why you see so many immature and manipulative bloggers running around claiming authority, when all they have is an authority on the amount of money they make. Have money? Will worship.

2. Intelligence of others is based on their topics of interest

   Because of this stereotype, most personal bloggers and personal blogs are not taken seriously by many in the blogosphere. Sure, talking about overcooking the tuna may be interesting to someone, but you think such bloggers need sympathy and mental help. For you, the only normal bloggers may be the ones who talk about ways to make money, or they talk about topics which make them money, enabling you to use the first point above into your judgment too.

   This stereotype is one of the reasons personal bloggers are considered to be less knowledgeable, and also less important, than many other kinds of bloggers. This very stereotype may also blind you from the fact that personal bloggers shaped the origins and the beginning of the blogging trend. Instead of feeling lucky that you know bloggers and personal bloggers who have defined history for all future bloggers for generations to come, you simply think “A blog about daily life? This blogger has no life!“

3. Disagreements mean there are enemies

   This is one of the classics. If you see a blogger talking about something which disagrees with what you believe either directly or indirectly, you use the offline stereotype regarding disagreements and immediately start considering that blogger to be your life-long enemy. A blogger says Honda is the best but you think Ford is superior? You pray for that blogger’s doom. They eat 3 times a day but you prefer eating 5 times a day? You start attacking them directly and personally for not living their life the way you want them to live their life.

   Everyone can have their own understanding of the world, but this offline stereotype, which even prompts many people to find mirror copies of themselves to date, results in people feeling that the existence of any difference of opinion means we have to learn the art of fist fighting and we have to convert everyone else, by force, to our way of thinking.

4. Intelligence is measured by appearance

   For many people, a poorly designed blog means the blogger in question is stupid. This has something to do with our offline lives; if you see two business people, wearing the same suit and both appearing professional arrive in two different vehicles, one being a brand new car, and the other being a rusty old truck from 1950 with loud, annoying music on, which person would you be more inclined to do business with? Many people, if not most, will be inclined to choose the guy in the new car. Why? Because we care about appearances. You may think bloggers are stupid unless the nice design of a blog makes you want to smell your monitor to see if you can smell the freshness.

   While caring for appearances is important, we forget the fact that sometimes some people cannot fix certain things, or do not know how to. However, this offline stereotype of judging others based on their appearance to think that anyone who does not have a good looking blog is not a good blogger, cannot think logically, cannot writer, cannot communicate, and so on. Is that not sort of similar to what we do in the offline world, where if we are right about someone being careless enough to not take care of their appearance when they possibly can, we start questioning unrelated things about their character also, like loyalty, intelligence, and importance?

5. Ethnicity, gender, political and religious affiliations define a person for you, and not what the person actually does in life

   This can be the classic example for many people. The same way many people categorize and judge others in the offline world based on ethnic background, gender, political and religious affiliations, I am noticing many people judge bloggers based on their similar characteristics. You hate people from certain ethnicities and you run into a blogger from that ethnicity? No problem; you simply stereotype and tell the blogger “How dare you go online and start blogging? People of your type should be banned from blogging.”

   Sure, a blogger may themselves try to promote their ethnicity, gender, political or religious affiliation onto the reader, but you do not need to follow their example. It is better to judge people based on how they relate and value certain things, like religion, than to associate them with a certain religion and treat them the same way you supposedly want to treat everyone from that specific trait or religion.

There you have it. Those are the 5 stereotypical things that I think many people have successfully brought from their offline lives onto the online world. If you want to continue stereotyping in the online world, the above list can serve as a cheat sheet for you to refer to whenever you want to think of solid, proven methods to stereotype bloggers.

What is your opinion about this? Can you think of some other points that allow many of us to categorize and stereotype against bloggers?

Thank you for reading.

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1. Not talking about a job means you have no job

   Many people assume that if someone does not talk much about their offline job, they do not have a job, or they do not have a good job. These people probably cannot understand the fact, easily, that sometimes people simply do not want to talk about something in their personal life as it may be boring, or it may be personal and they may not want to share it with people who are not genuinely interested in knowing.

   I personally get to hear this every other day, since I do not talk about my offline work activities, or anything similar, on my site here or with others that much. Instead of asking, people assume things about my job. I get over 50 calls every day alone related to “work” that I do not get paid for, and I have to meet around 10 people every 2 days or so, directly, in private meetings, to do things related to work, round the clock; sometimes I have to meet people at 3 AM. That is why I am always finding it funny when some people do not ask me about my activities, but simply assume that I do not do anything other than to blog on this site and eat chocolate.

2. Never talking about your offline life means you have no offline life

   Some people assume that if you do not push your offline personal life into the online world, you do not have an offline life. That is why if you remain quiet in a conversation or try to talk about something, people will immediately assume things about you.

   I personally, rarely talk about offline life online, though if someone asks for it, I may answer in detail depending on the person and the situation. However, people will assume things like my relationships, hobbies, views, religion, sexual preference, etc. on an almost constant basis, because I do not talk about my personal life out of the blue in every chat window that can be opened.

3. The more aggressive you are, the more right you are

   This one is a classic. Many people will assume that if they are aggressive about something, they will appear to be right in almost any argument. It is as if the art of being pushy and aggressive and on the offensive becomes more important than the point being argued.

   I see arguments online regularly, where someone will be very aggressive in questioning something, and they will assume that just because they are aggressive means that they will be able to make the other person look bad. Usually, if one is paying attention, it seems that acting aggressive has nothing to do with being rational or logical. Some times people get aggressive even while asking a question, which makes me wonder: “if this person is so tense while simply asking a question through text and over a topic this person does not care about, how easy will it be to control and affect this person’s moods in real life?“

4. The act of acting weird will go unnoticed

   Some people think that since one can hide in the online world, one can do weird things and go unnoticed. This includes copying others, acting weird like blocking others on instant messengers simply because one feels jealous, one talks to someone else only to ask for advice, etc.

   I think it is very easy to both hide and get noticed in the online world. Noticing someone copying ideas can be tricky, but it does not go unnoticed. I notice people copying my writing and other styles all the time, and I also see people taking ideas from the comments they receive and posting them as their own on a regular basis too. These people basically assume that other people will not care in the online world. On the contrary, people do care a lot in the online world if they feel they are being cheated.

5. Inquiring about something means your knowledge is limited

   Many people think that if you ask questions, you do not know anything about some topic. When a person tells me about a feed reader or some new technology, I listen attentively and I ask questions. That act of asking questions makes many people assume that I do not know anything about the thing I am asking about. I personally have a character where I will ask questions even about things I know, since I want to know more and I want to hear about things from other people’s perspectives a lot.

   Sure, when you ask a question, you may not know something about the element that is being asked in the question, but you may know generally about that something. For example, I have rarely been talking about making money online as of today, but I have made a lot of money online through online businesses in the past. That is why it is funny when people approach me and start assuming that I do not know how to make money online, instead of asking me about it. I am guessing this is one of those things you need to brag about so more people can know, including potential employers.

So there you have it. That is a list of 5 random things that many people assume about others online. Can you think of some other things that people assume? Can you relate to something here, or do you have any opinion about any of these points or about assumptions in general?

Thank you for reading.

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1. You own an iPod, or something similar.

   Think of the iPod as a luxury. Majority of the world cannot afford to buy food once a day, yet you have an iPod. You could have gotten the iPod as a gift from someone, or you could have bought it yourself. Now, how does this make sure that you are not poor? If you ask someone to lend you $100, while your iPod can be sold for $70, it means you want someone else to be inconvenienced by them giving you their money, while you do not want to give up listening to your iPod. Similarly, if you have something along the same lines, like a new laptop, and cannot part with it, you may not be poor. You can easily sell a laptop and get some money for it.

   Exceptions: Your job may depend on the laptop, or in some very rare cases, the iPod. Someone close to you may have given you the iPod and thus you cannot sell it, or else they will be greatly offended. Your iPod may probably be so old that you can only get $5 from it while you do not have money to pay the rent, which costs a couple of thousand dollars, etc. Of course, I can also say that if you can get $5 from your iPod, it means you are doing your best to make sure you utilize every resource possible before feeling that you are helpless and poor.

2. You can afford to buy a home or pay rent

   Home is another important factor that people and society have worked together to create. If you can afford to buy a home or pay rent for your current place of living, you are most probably not poor. Some ways to save money could be to cut off on living expenses: using less electricity, finding a cheaper place, selling off the home, renting a room to someone, etc.

   Exceptions: Even if you find a cheaper place, you may still not have the money you need. You may also already have the cheapest place anyone could get, unless you had a gun to force the landlord into lowering your rent. However, a gun usually costs money, so a really poor person may not be able to afford that. Unless, however, you use a knife to