Continue reading… »

The Wrong Number Dilemma

When you call and run into the “wrong number” situation, after you hang up, you really do not know which of the 2 possible reasons, from the person dialing the wrong number to the person dialing a number at which a certain person used to live long time ago, are the root of the resulting situation. All you focus on are the two hypnotizing words, “Wrong Number.” These words are hypnotizing because as soon as you hear them, your first instinct as the caller is to hang up as soon as possible.

So what is the dilemma? As the caller, the dilemma is the question that pops up: did I call the wrong number, or did the person who used to be at that number now have a new number, and I did dial the right number? As the receiver, the dilemma is wondering how the other person got that specific number in the first place. Sure, we can simply say or hear the two magic words and hang up the phone, but the issue remains with the phone for a long time. It is as if we do not care or even think of finding out what is going on, and we say “wrong number” to get rid of the other person or to get the clue that we should get lost as soon as possible.

It is one of those situations where majority of the people do not want to know what happened; they simply want to find out the right number as the caller or to move on as the receiver.

The typical caller

As a caller, we usually do one of the following things during and after the wrong number call:

• Say “Oh sorry” and hang up
• Say “Oh ok” and hang up
• Say “Ok” and hang up
• Simply hang up without saying anything
• Say “What do you mean I have the wrong number?” and do not hang up. Someone asked me this question when I told them they had dialed the wrong number. I was quiet for about a second or two, and then said “Well, you picked up the phone, dialed a number and then asked me for someone and that person is not associated with the number you dialed, thus you have reached a wrong number.” The guy simply hung up, probably unamused at my answer.

The typical receiver

As the person receiving the call, you pretty much, and so far, are limited in your choices, to the following three:

• “Wrong number“
• “No one here by that name. Must have the wrong number.“
• Simply hang up without saying anything back to the caller.

But you, as the receiver, always have the power to make the other person hang up. The keywords to make the other party hang up are “wrong number.” Many callers wait for you to finish saying things before they hang up, while many other callers simply hang up when they hear the dreaded “wrong number” chant.

The hypnotizing chant = Wrong Number

As the person saying the “wrong number” hypnotizing chant, you usually expect nothing from the caller other than them hanging up the phone. In fact, you usually say the words “wrong number” as a way to indirectly control the other person’s actions and to make the other person hang up. You control the actions of the caller: you can make him or her hang up the phone any time you wish by saying those two words. Rarely do you encounter people who do not hang up within 5 seconds of hearing the words “wrong number.” They are usually smart people trying to act smart, confused people, rude people, harassers, stalkers and more.

The revised polite Wrong Number Dilemma

In practical life, I personally expect both parties to at least have an old style conversation that goes like:

“Hi, can I speak with Marilyn please?”
“Oh I think you have the wrong number”
“Oh ok/thanks/sorry bye”
“No problem bye”
Both sides hang up.

That “Wrong Number” conversation is polite in its own micro-sense, and it is complete. Of course, as you can see, it does not convey any useful information other than Marilyn being equal to a wrong number. “Marilyn” and “Wrong number” are the only 2 sets of words in the entire conversation which are useful overall to many people. The caller has only one focus: “Marilyn.” The receiver has only one focus: “Wrong Number.” The caller and the receiver agree to hang up because they realize they agree on one fact: Marilyn equals to a wrong number for that very phone call.

The revised Wrong Number Situation - Dilemma addressed

I suggest a clearer communication to deal with the situation:

How about, in order to be clearer, after hearing the hypnotizing words, you as the caller asks “Can I tell you what number I called so I can see whether I dialed the wrong number by mistake or if the number I have is the right number but the person I am looking for has changed numbers?”

As the receiver, how about after hypnotizing the caller, you ask “No one here by that name. What number did you call?”

Both ways, the caller can know whether they actually did dial the wrong number by mistake or if they dialed the right number but the person they are looking does not have that number anymore. That way, instead of the wrong number situation being a dilemma where both you and the caller wonder how you two met in this universe, you will have a better idea of what set of events resulted in the two of you coming across each other’s voices over the phone.

Next time, inquire before hanging up

The next time you you get or call a wrong number, instead of looking forward to hanging up, you can try to look forward to figuring out how you ended up on that very call, while still on the phone. Should you not know why you do the things you do or how you end up in different situations? I do, because my phone is still ringing and I would love to know more about why Marilyn is thought to be at my number.

Remember, it is not a wrong number until you find out it is the wrong number. And I am not Marilyn until I say I am.

« Show less..