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Disagreements teach us new things. Agreements tell us that someone else agrees with us. Would you prefer one over the other?

Disagreeing with someone because of logic does not make you evil, nor does it mean you are disrespecting. Disagreement shows that you have the ability to look at things differently. If your disagree logically, others should actually appreciate your disagreement as that allows them to look at things differently. To have a good relationship of any sort, the hard thing is not to find the right person who agrees with everything you say. The hard thing is to find the right person that you can co-exist with in the face of any disagreements.

If you try to find someone who agrees to everything you say, you are basically finding someone who will not show you anything new in life. The two of you will not learn much together, let alone teach each other anything new. Why would you look for relationships if you wanted to find someone exactly like you? Why not buy a mirror instead?

Disagreements online can help co-exist with others better

Making friends online should not depend on finding people with similar tastes. Making online friends should be based on how you feel around others. I notice a growing trend on many blogs where many people keep agreeing to everything many high profile profile bloggers have to say, even if requires giving up realistic logic. It is as if many people cannot think uniquely and differently, or are not strong enough to disagree and say “I have a different opinion.” Is friendship or respect supposed to be mostly based on feelings of trust and respect, or does friendship and respect depend on how much you agree with someone?

How being friends regardless of us agreeing or disagreeing works for me and my friend

Take Valerie as an example. We have less similarities in life than most offline friends do, yet we are good friends and communicate effectively on an almost daily basis. Why? Because we have one important similarity: we realize that we have differences, and we realize that having differences do not only amount to bad things. How do we continue to be friends? We always talk about the differences in opinions while focusing on the similarities and also understanding the different logics and reasons in things we explain and tell each other.

Disagreements make us realize that the other person has feelings and the ability to think on their own also. Valerie and I respect each other even more because of that realization. Similarities can bring people closer, and so can differences. Acknowledging the differences and realizing that we can co-exist with people who are different than us can create better levels of trusts than usual.

Maintaining friendship in a sea of agreements is good. Maintaining friendship in an ocean of disagreements can be even better.

When it comes to communicating with others, it does not matter whether or not there are more agreements or disagreements. The only thing that matters is if people can get along with each other even when there are differences or disagreements. That is one of the only ways to have a good friendship, a good long-term relationship, and even marriage, not necessarily in that order though. And not necessarily all of them with the same person either.

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A few days ago someone I know told me that she needed a few thousand dollars to buy a plane ticket to visit her family in November. She didn’t have enough money and would not be able to save that much money by then. Now, I know for a fact that she owns many things including a laptop, an iPod, and a lot of jewelry. When I suggested selling some of these, she said that the laptop was needed to get on the internet and keep in touch with people, and that the iPod was something she used everyday, along with jewelry. The logic of this answer didn’t make sense to me, though this logic is something that many people use most of the time when borrowing even when they have money in one form or another. These people have money to spend on jewelry or music or expensive breakfasts at expensive restaurants, yet they cannot part with these things to save a few dollars. They would instead prefer to put someone else in a bad position. I told her that the iPod was just a luxury, and that using the laptop to go online amounted to nothing other than talking to people online during leisure time. If she was really desperate for money, she could easily sell those to get the required money within a week or two.

She shrugged aside that idea, the same way a confused spoiled kid with a lot of money and parental/spousal/significant-others’ support and backup shrugs aside the idea of realizing the reality. She is now asking a few other people for money, and so far, is not getting anything. I wonder why people who claim they are desperate don’t try everything in their power before resorting to borrowing or even complaining. Does it feel good to beg others for money while you’re listening to an iPod or while you have a laptop that you use only to watch movies on? There are too many people who keep thinking they are desperate, yet everyday they have more money hidden in the things they own than most of the people in the world. Of course, most of the people who borrow money say that they would pay back what they borrow. However, just because one can pay back someone later on doesn’t mean they should borrow the money. Why not look at all your options that are within your reach before reaching for other people’s money through borrowing?

Many people think they are special and are suffering in life, but they enjoy different luxuries in life while sticking to the idea of getting sympathy once in a while to feel better and special. Next time you think about borrowing money, you should first exhaust all your options first. If you are not willing to part with your iPod or your favorite watch to come up with some money, why would you expect it to be a logical idea to have someone lend you some of their hard earned money?

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