People often ask me if I am gay because of my decision to move to San Francisco. That can be a bit like asking me if I am a cop because of my decision to visit a police station. Even if I am gay, does it matter? Many people have such a huge phobia against gay people that their lives will become chaotic if they even hear the word “gay.” For me, a phobia can exist in someone’s mind, but if that phobia starts to make someone pass judgments or start hating others, I think it is more of an obsession than a phobia.
Some anti-gay people I know are so nice and respectful that I feel lucky to know them. Others are simply so obsessed that I am surprised.
I know many people online who are gay, many people online who are not gay, and I know many online people who do not like gay people. Some of my very close offline and online friends do not like gay people, but they also make sure they have logic in their arguments, and that they do not go around hating a whole group of people simply because of their own sexual preference. My close friends, both online and offline, can say anything logical and warranted because they are my close friends. However, if you know me only through a single post and start telling me online that you know me for only a day, and that you will not come back to my blog because you think I am gay, I am not going to persuade you to stay. Convincing people that gay people are good or they are bad can be a quest I am willing to go after; convincing you to stay, because of your assumptions while reading a single post and knowing me for less than 24 hours, is something I could have done last year when I was counseling people a lot.
However, many of these people do not care about such things as long as they are not directly affected by something related to the concept of being gay. I notice some people act weird every single day, because of their fear that gay or bisexual people are alive in this world. They do not care if a gay or bisexual blogger posts something useful in a blog post or a blog comment; they only care about the sexual preference of that blogger or commentor, and they judge the blogger or commentor accordingly.
The most common reason for people hating gay people
Even though so many people tell me that they would not like to be touched sexually by a person of the same sex, I often wonder how many of such people are attractive enough to attract anyone. If you ask people, the people who say “I do not like being touched or asked out by another guy/girl“, you may be surprised to hear the answer if you ask them “How many people of the same sex as you have ever actually hit on you.” Even if someone hits on you, does that mean you have to start hating that person, or everyone who has the same sexual preference as that person?
Unless a gay or bisexual blogger talks about topics revolving gay and bisexual nature of people that affects your views or yourself directly, it can be extreme to argue against or even hate someone or treat them differently, simply because of their sexual preference, when they are simply trying to focus on a non-gay topics and offer you their opinion. Why not just focus on the topic at hand if that topic does not revolve, even remotely, around topics like same sex marriage?
How about gay people hating straight people?
Now an even more interesting thing to think about is how many gay people have phobia against non-gay people. I was making a list, and I know at least 14 people off the top of my head who are strictly anti-straight; these people are obsessed with hating straight people, which is again weird in my opinion. I think I am going to start a series on both topics soon.
What do you think? If you are a close friend, you already know if I am gay or not. Otherwise, you can probably figure out on your own if I am gay or not, though I love being whatever nightmare or phobia you may have. Why? Because I can. Your ability to start acting weird around me simply because of your own fear, which has nothing to do with me and which exists because of you passing judgments about me without thinking, gives me the right to.
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