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The following 7 things should be avoided if you are a newcomer to my car and my life. Of course, if you are a friend, I will let you know how such things may be affecting the car, me, my driving habit, or Mars.

1. Opening the car windows without asking

   In some parts of the world, the temperature of the atmosphere inside the car may not change much, regardless of whether or not the car windows are open. In California and many other states, opening the car window can seriously alter the temperature. If it is freezing outside and I have the air conditioner at full or even medium heat, you coming into the car and opening the window immediately will cause the whole project of turning on the heater in my poor car for a long time to heat things up to fail. Similarly, in the scorching heat, opening the car door or the window without thinking first will let out all the cold air, and will take another 5-10 minutes to be recreated at its previous state. If you are wearing a big coat or only a t-shirt, ask and let me know so I can prepare myself too, or maybe I can offer you my extra jacket or somehow stop the car so you can take off your extra jacket.

   One person used to get in my car with his thick jacket and then open the window immediately while the heater was running at fast speed. I would tell him I was freezing and that I can turn down the heater or even turn it off, and he would start telling me that he was feeling hot, and if there was a way to turn up the cold air in the car somehow. He would say all of this while he kept the car window open and kept his thick jacket on. By the time he would close the window, the entire car would be freezing. When it comes to me, just assume there is a reason for everything. If in doubt, ask and think. Getting into a warm car wearing a thick jacket while in the cold weather outside means you may have to endure about a minute or two of the change in temperature and adjustment while you get used to the inside weather. Taking off your jacket instead of making the other person uncomfortable is a very good alternative, and if you cannot take off the jacket easily while sitting down, ask me to stop somewhere or to watch out while you sway your hands all around the place in an effort to take off your own jacket.

2. Spitting out of a moving car

   Spitting out of a car is not only rude for many people, it is also illegal in many areas. And guess who usually gets a ticket or gets into trouble? The driver of the car. If you have to spit for any reason, come up with some alternative or tell me to pull to the side.

   Long time ago a friend of mine was driving and I was a passenger in his car. He tried on a mouth wash while driving, and forgot that he had to spit out the mouth wash after about 30 seconds since the mouth wash would start burning really bad after that. Well, we were on the freeway and he was in pain after about 2 minutes of trying to hold the mouth wash. I laughed, I giggled, and I told him to simply spit it out in some lane where there were no cars since he was in pain. There were no side shoulders that he could not pull over on. He kept the acid in his mouth for about 15 minutes, probably to the point that the pain had turned into something else and he was starting to act weird. He was smiling too, but was in pain at the same time. When the first exit came, he took it and spat the mouthwash out. I asked him if he was ok. He said yes, and said that it would have been mean or bad to spit the acid out in case the “spit” hit some other car.

   Now compare that to a passenger I had in my car who was eating some fast food. He accidentally ate some small dust particle or hair or something, and could feel it on his tongue. He started hissing and spitting with a bit closed mouth, as if to try to get rid of whatever was in his mouth that did not belong there. And he did that while in the car. I had drops of spit all over my dashboard and the gearbox. He did not apologize, he did not care, he did not even joke about it. It was all normal to him. It was normal to me too, but normal as being normally bad.

3. Having the driver pick up unexpected extra passengers

   One of the worst things you can do to a driver giving you a ride is to tell them at the last minute that some of your other friends need a ride too. Whether those extra passengers live near or far is not the focus of this point: keeping the driver in the dark and then making them do extra things is the same as lying, hiding, manipulating or simply not caring. Ask the driver first, and have the extra passenger ask and thank the driver also for doing a favor to someone they are not that close to.

   I have had so many “Oh also go here, we have to pick up my girlfriend/boyfriend boss/friend homie/buddy etc“, it is very interesting. If I charged money for every extra passenger I have given a ride to, I could have made a lot of money that could have gone towards years of gas payments.

4. Not allowing the driver to make his/her own stops

   Not all drivers have to drive only to give you a ride. Some have to do their own things. If someone gives you a ride and they stop somewhere, do not get upset: you should tell the driver in advance uf you have to get somewhere by a certain time, and you should also realize that you may be late since it is someone else’s car.

   I once stopped at a gas station to buy some Kit Kat while giving someone a ride and when I got back, they looked all upset and kept hinting that they do not like making stops while going somewhere. If you have to get somewhere on time or if you have some requirements, you should keep in mind that I have some requirements too. Accommodate the driver into your plans, since apparently the driver has already accommodated you into their life and car by giving you a ride.

5. Giving instant directions

   If you have to tell the driver to make a right, tell them about it a minute or even 20 seconds before the “right” comes up. Telling the driver to make a right when the very intersection he/she has to make a right on is already intersecting the length of car itself, is usually not a good thing for many cars.

   I have people who even say “Right here, oh damn you missed the exit.” Yeah, I missed the exit, not you. Such instant-direction givers cannot even tell me to turn right on time, but they expect me to turn a multi-ton car instantly while other cars go parallel to mine. Tell me in advance or simply say “We have to make a right soon” so I can be ready for your instant orders.

6. Not pitching in for gas

   If you are getting a ride from someone, specially a new person, see if it is costing them a lot to give you a ride. Going on a long drive or going shorter distances regularly consumes gas, and gas is money. It does not matter whether or not gas is cheap: someone is giving you a ride and they are losing/spending money on top of it. See if you can chip in some money, or tell the driver that you do not have money to chip in so that driver can at least realize that you calculated their misery into the equation also.

   I have had people’s friends ask me for rides to faraway places, and on the way when I fill up the car at a gas station, they do not offer anything nor do they care about it. They simply wait in the car to make sure that I get back on the road again as soon as possible.

7. Not knowing the exact directions to where you are going

   Imagine getting in a car and telling someone to take you to a place that you do not know the location about. Unless it’s a major place or you know the nearest intersection, the driver will not know where you are going.

   I have had people get in the car and then tell me to head towards a city, and then when I get close and ask them where to go, they tell me “McDonald’s there, have to meet some people.” There are usually several McDonald’s in each city, so I have to do some searching and hunting while the passenger gets impatient over being late. It is a waste of time and a waste of energy for the driver. If you want a ride, know where you want to go or let the driver know well in advance, before the actual ride, that you do not know the exact directions.

   “I want to get to the Thai restaurant in Berkeley“, Berkeley being a city with dozens of Thai restaurants, is the same as wanting to go to a specific gas station or a restaurant in a city but not knowing the name, type of place of that gas station or restaurant. Have directions ready, or at least do some homework and have something for the driver to go on. If you let the driver know in advance that you want to go somewhere but do not know how to get there, the driver may be nice enough to do the homework for you.

There you go. The above 7 points, combined with Part 1 and Part 2, tell you about the 21 things to avoid or think about when getting a ride from someone you may not know, or me. The reason I said before that these points apply to those people who are not your friends is to show that since you are not someone’s friend, you have to consider these points that may upset, annoy or frustrate the driver or the drivers’ friends in the same car, and among other things, cause the driver to lose time and money. Friends can easily tell friends “What the heck! haha hmmm :p” and thus teach friends how some actions or things may result in more harm than good for the driver.

What is your opinion about this? Have you experience any of these points yourself, either expectedly or unexpectedly, either as a driver, a passenger, or the person doing any of the above things?

Thank you so much for reading. I enjoyed writing this series for you. Please let me know if you have any questions, suggestions, or if you think I can muster up more points and continue this series a bit more.

Thank you again.

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1. Telling the driver how to drive no matter how they drive

   Avoid telling the driver how to drive. Notice the words “Avoid telling” and not “Never tell” in this point. Avoid telling the driver how to drive if it is for small things that you yourself may be doing in some ways when you drive, or things that the driver may be used to while they drive. If the driver is driving fast and changing lanes very quickly, causing the whole car to suddenly tilt from time to time, you can go ahead and tell the driver to slow down as your life and safety is on the line. However, if the driver is driving and you keep telling her or him that they should drive with one hand on the wheel or both hands, as an example, try to think first if the current driving by the driver is dangerous or if the driver knows what she/he is doing and usually drives like that.

   I knew someone once who always told me not to show left/right turn signals when changing lanes, to stop completely at all stop signs, to always change lanes while maintaining same speed instead of slowing down to keep in the same lane, to honk at all other drivers who did not know how to drive, etc. Stop dictating everything: sure, tell me everything on your mind if you wish, but who cares which lane I drive in, as long as we get there on time and as long as I am driving safe?

2. Smoking, eating and drinking in the car without asking

   This is extremely important. I never try to eat in someone else’s car, and if I do, I eat as if my life depended on how clean I keep the car. I have had people who come into the car without knowing me much and starting to eat, drink or smoke right away. Forget that smoking kills or does any harm: I do not care about that since everyone around is usually already smoking and my lungs are starting to have DNA from other people on a regular basis. What I care about is the smell in the car: I get in the car and I can feel I am the Marlboro Man simply because my car smells like mint, tobacco and nicotine.

   One of the people who got a ride in my car would start lighting up the cigarette right in my car, and after smoking, she would ask where the ashtray was. My car does not have an ashtray, and she would honestly forget that every time. Then she would scramble around the car to look for something to put the cigarette buds in, while the ashes and the burnt cigarette bud pieces fell around my car. In the end, she would end up throwing the buds and the falling tobacco and smoked cigarette wrapper out of the window. Another guy used to eat his regular dose of Carl’s Jr. in my car and would usually leave some fries and lettuce that dropped from his mouth. If I can pick up leftovers from what adults eat and be good at it, maybe I can be a good parent and be good at cleaning up after babies too?

3. Throwing litter out of the window

   I am not sure how people who meet someone for the first time start throwing stuff out of those new people’s car from the minute they get in. And they do it while not caring about whether or not a cop might see them. If you throw stuff out of the car, it might hit some other car or the driver may get a ticket for littering. Forget the stereotypical advice “If you don’t throw trash in your home, why do you throw trash onto the streets?” That is a stupid message. What I am referring to is the idea of meeting someone for the first time, and throwing stuff out of the window without wondering whether or not the driver will be comfortable with it. It is your trash when it is being thrown out: it is the trash coming out of the car that belongs to the driver.

   I knew someone once who would go through his mail while in the car and any junk mail that he did not want, he would roll it up and throw it out of the window. I would always ask him what he threw out, but he would act as if I was asking a very sensitive question. Other people’s trash is not my business, I agree; however, my car is a driving vehicle and not a experimental garbage-shooting device for new people, so I would like to know what is being thrown out in case a cop stops us.

   Once a guy threw his soda can right through my driver-side window, instead of his passenger-side window, while we were driving on the freeway. The glass soda bottle hit my nose on the side and then flew out of the car. I immediately wondered if I had been attacked and the guy simply missed me. I started bleeding that very instant: I looked at the guy and said “What the $%^&!!??” The guy was genuinely sorry and said something along the lines of “OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY!! Just wanted to throw it out from your side since on my side there are cars and on your side there are no cars…didn’t think it would hit you SORRY ” Even then, what the heck?

4. Making extra stops without asking first

   Similar to getting extra passengers, if you have to make extra stops, tell the driver immediately. The driver may have something in mind, and they may also have to make stops of their own. Your new unexpected stops can result in the driver losing time and not being able to do things they changed or modified in order to accommodate your ride in the first place. Try to be very explicit and transparent when asking for favors. Even if you are robbing banks, tell the driver “I have to stop by these 4 banks to try to see if I can get a good student deal on a savings account.”

   I have had people wanting to go to banks, their friend’s places, shopping stores and even restaurants while on their way to someplace else. Many times, I end up canceling whatever I had originally planned. I do not mind making extra stops, since I usually prefer making extra stops many times myself too. What I do not understand is the claim that people forget to tell me they had to make the extra stops until they get in the car or when they get near a place. Some people have even told me “Oh, take this road, I prefer this road” and then when we get to a place where they want to make an unexpected stop using the road they told me to take, they say “Oh, I just remembered, I have to stop at so and so.” Maybe I should make dozens of unexpected stops while giving rides also.

5. Refusing to put on the seat belt

   This used to be a big deal before, when drivers used to get tickets for any passengers who had not put on their seat belts. Nowadays, anyone not putting on the seat belt gets into trouble themselves unless I am mistaken. However, when you get into someone else’s car for the first time, ask them if it is ok not to put on a seat belt. Ask if the other driver is ok with it; they would want to think over whether or not they are willing to go through a police pull-over because of the seat belt.

   I have had a few people who would meet me for the first time and sit up front and not put on their seat belts, even when I reminded or asked them if they could. Sure, they have a choice to say no when I ask them, but these people would actually get offended at me asking them about the seat belt. By the way, I hate putting on seat belts overall, and I never put on a seat belt when sitting in the back unless the drivers tells me to, which I also try to avoid if possible.

6. Leaving garbage in the car

   Many people think my car is a garbage trailer because my car is dark green. They will come in with food, cigarette wrappers, books and receipts, and they will usually leave something behind like napkins, lettuce, receipts, empty or even full soda drinks, etc. Why assume that someone is ok with the garbage that you yourself despise? Forget the rule “Do onto others that you want others to do to you.” Why would anyone want your garbage in their cars?

   I have had a few passengers come in my car and leave their full blown garbage behind, knowingly. They actually pick it up and put it on the back seat while they are leaving the car. Many people come in and leave a lot of their garbage as a memory tribute to me. The cute girl leaves me her McDonald’s bag as I might use it to carry my books and look at it to remember her. The smelly guy leaves the tomato so that I can smell it to remember how bad he smelled. The tall guy leaves his used napkins so I can clean my car with them and remember how he used to sneeze in them. The weird girl leaves her receipt for fast food in my car, every time, so that I can remember what she bought and so that I can remember the prices for different things that Jack in the Box sells.

7. Not locking the car doors when exiting the car

   Not all car doors have automatic locks. In fact, more cars have manual locks than automatic locks. That is why when you exit a car, make sure you get to lock at least your own door. If you go to someone’s house and exit from the back door while the house owner exits from the front and both of you are going to some other house, you will think about locking the back door, right? Try doing the same with the car, or at least try asking if the doors should be locked manually.

   I have had many people exit the car when we go to the movies or someplace else, and when I get back to the car, their side of the door was not locked. I have had many valuable belongings in the car many times, and each time the person simply asks “Ohh, you don’t have automatic locks?” If you see me opening the lock manually when I let you in the car, chances are the door locks are not automatic. If you do not see any automatic lock button on your side of the door or near the middle/center hand rest, chances are that the door locks are not automatic. I do not know of any car on this planet that has automatic locks and does not offer an automatic button to the passenger, so if you do not see an automatic lock button, the car most probably has manual locks. The only exception is a prison transportation vehicle. Unless I have a shotgun and keep pointing it at you while you wear an orange suit, chances are you are in my passenger car and the car does not have automatic door locks.

   It is a very good thing to ask when in doubt in such situations, unless you are ready to accept and replace anything that gets stolen or damaged.

14 things to avoid on your next ride with me - till the next part of this series at least

These are the 7 things to avoid or think about when getting a ride from someone you may not know. The reason I said before that these points apply to those people who are not your friends is to show that since you are not someone’s friend, you have to consider these points that may upset, annoy or frustrate the driver or the drivers’ friends in the same car, among other things.

What is your opinion about this? Have you experience any of these points yourself, either expectedly or unexpectedly, either as a driver, a passenger, or the person doing any of the above things?

Thanks for reading the 2nd part of the series. Please let me know if you wish for me to include any of your points in the grand finale of the series, with full credit to you of course. Stay tuned for the next part where many bizarre elements, like people other than the driver and the ride seeker, come into play to ensure that giving someone a car ride turns into a very dramatic experience.

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You yourself may have done something that you later thought to be inconsiderate for the driver, or you may have given a ride to someone not close to you and experienced some discomfort because of the behavior of your passenger. I have given rides to many people, many of whom have acted very strange or done weird things from time to time. Some things are small, while others can be big. Starting today, I would like to draw your attention to some of such things.

1. Putting your feet everywhere

   So many people do this, it seems that one day someone will call me abnormal for thinking this should not be the norm. Ask the driver if you can put your feet on things other than the floor mat. Otherwise, putting your feet on the seat, the dashboard or even on the actual gearbox which the driver uses to change gears might result in the driver thinking you are riding in an air balloon. Or maybe not, as even in the air balloon you have to do your best to keep your feet on the platform.

   I knew someone who used to take off his shoes or slippers and put his feet on my car dashboard, the stereo area or the gearbox. I tried to focus on other things when I realize that he was not wearing any socks and his feet smelled. However, when the topic of what to eat came around, it was hard not to notice the bad smell when all you want to do is smell chicken or cheese cake and instead all you can smell is feet that were in shoes without socks for hours. It is bad for the car, it is bad for others, it is bad for me, it is bad for you. If you want a ride, please keep your feet on the floor. I am giving you a free ride, and thus you do not need to pay me back with your feet smell.

2. Slamming doors or the trunk real hard

   These days, the right front passenger door of my car makes a kind of a hissing and flapping sound on the outside when I’m driving fast. The sound is coming from the side rubber panels that have ripped away from the actual door, thanks for many people getting a ride and then slamming the door of the car as if it will not close unless closed with full plutonic force. Also, people think that trunks are made out of unbreakable materials, or they try to shut the trunk hard to make sure drivers can feel that the trunk has been closed.

   The main guy who caused those passenger door rubber rods to flap out knows about it, and simply says “It was like that since the beginning“, when he himself said “Man, what is that sound? It wasn’t there before.” It is like giving me a gift in return for me giving you a ride: I give you a ride and you give me a damaged door.

3. Changing the radio station or audio volume without asking first

   This is not the rule that you see in stereotypical Hollywood movies where anyone who is black starts shooting if their car radio station is changed by someone else. If I am listening to a radio station, simply ask if you can change it or say you want to change it and then go ahead and change it if I do not object.

   I was listening to an important news last year about a bridge that collapsed in the Bay Area on a station I accidentally found through the channel search feature on my radio, and the person I was giving the ride to got into the car and immediately put on a preset I had set on the radio without asking or even thinking first. He just wanted to listen to random music. I could not find that new station again, and as expected the route I took to avoid that damaged bridge was crowded, resulting in a more than 2 hour drive that spanned around 7 miles.

4. Not closing car windows completely

   If I am driving and I can hear wind flushing through some lightly open window, I try to close that window. “You are hearing too much.” No, I want to close the window completely. “You must have really good hearing.” No, I want to close the window completely. “You are too paranoid.” No, I want to close the window completely. I am not sure how people can sit and ignore or not hear such a sound while assuming that they have closed the window completely. The sound that the air makes squeezing in through that small layer of opening is loud enough to reach the driver, me, all the way from the passenger side; how come the passenger does not care where that sound is coming from?

   In addition to hearing, you can feel the wind blowing in a little bit from the back, as the air gushes in and comes back to the front. So if you are hard at hearing or cannot hear, slowly you may get used to the change in the air in the car and realize that some window is not fully closed. If not, then I must have super powers in order to hear and feel that some window is not fully closed, and be able to pinpoint which window too. Similarly, if you open some window and I drop you, close the window and do not just leave it open. I am driving the car and unless I was part of the Fantastic Four, I have to lean at least a little bit in order to drive and roll up your window also. You did something. You undo it too when you are leaving.

5. Opening different car doors without asking first

   If you want to put your bags in the back, try to ask first. Simply walking up to a car you have never or rarely ridden in and trying to open the back door or the trunk or actually opening the trunk or the locks of the back doors without asking is impolite. It is like opening other people’s house doors to lodge the extra stuff you have. Maybe the driver has stuff that he/she can move, or maybe they would like you to put your stuff in some specific location. Asking first is better than opening the car openings without permission.

   I used to give a ride to a scary neighbor from time to time, and since day 1 he would come and start opening the doors in the entire car without asking and putting even his lightest of belongings, like his cap, in the back. A few times he would try to open the trunk and then tap hard on the trunk a few times, signaling me to open it. Make sure you pay me if I’m your slave driver. Or wait: are slaves supposed to be paid? Hmmm.

6. Making the driver come to you instead of you walking to the car

   What is with people who want car rides and do not walk towards the car when it is there for them? I have to drive all the way to align the car door to their feet in order for them to get in. Soon they will want me to open the door and carry them and put them into their seats also. It is as if the person getting the ride is doing the ride giver a favor.

   A person I was giving a ride to, regularly during some weeks last year, never used to walk to the car. If I had trouble getting past other cars, or if there were many pedestrians and I had to wait for those pedestrians to cross, this person would not walk over even if he was only less than 20 feet away. He used to stand there looking at my car, holding his back pack and waiting for my car door to align with his right foot. I should have charged him for the limo service that he was getting.

7. Putting your belongings everywhere without asking

   This goes along a little bit with the point of opening extra doors or the trunk to put your stuff in: if you have a lot of stuff, it is nice to ask where to put it. Putting dirty stuff on clean things or clean stuff on dirty things usually results in clean things getting dirty, and not dirty things getting cleaned.

   Someone I gave ride to long time ago would put his dirty, wet dirty bag onto the clean back seat or my books that were supposedly sitting quietly on the back seat. Once the book the bag sat on caused the first half of that small book to soak in the water. The reaction of the guy when I told him about it? “Ohhh, I guess those two don’t get along with each other.” Whether or not that made sense, I knew that cars and this guy did not get along: he did not deserve to be in a car.

7 things to avoid on your next ride with me - till the next part of this series at least

There you go. Those are the 7 things to avoid, when getting a car ride, for today. Stay tuned for the next time when 7 more horrible sins are revealed for your consideration, in case you wanted to annoy some driver while he or she was giving you a ride, or if you wanted to make sure I think agreeing to give you a ride was a bad idea.

Thanks for reading. Please let me know if you have experienced any of these points yourself, or if you have yourself done any of the above.

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The 12 year old won’t give me my $8 back

The 12 year old kid by the street sells me cookies, takes my $10 first and then, only after I have taken the first bite, says that he does not have the $8 change, and that I should come back tomorrow to get discounted cookies from the money he owes me; cannot damn him, since the cookies are either really good or they have drugs in them. The sub-sandwich store gives me a $5 coupon valid for 3 days only for a new sandwich they have, and this sandwich costs $8 more than their current, most expensive sandwich.

I return a defective electronic item I buy at an electronic store to get back my $389 in cash, since I paid cash, and I am told to either wait 5 weeks for a refund check, or to get their store gift card with $389 on it, which I can only use to buy more electronics from the same store.

You want me to pay you to lure me in? Sure.

The funny thing is that despite all the typical bias many people have against businesses and entities which take your money, each one does provide me with a service before trying to lure me in. Maybe I like paying people to seduce me?

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I asked him if the oil change done in that 30K car service would be “of the exact same premium quality as the $19.95, using the same premium oil and the same tools?” He responded with a confident “yes“, telling me that it would be “exactly the same thing you expect from Honda.” I then asked him that if the 30k car service specialists could just do an oil change since, like he said, they were qualified to do that. The look on his face was a very interesting one at that exact moment. He looked at me for about 2 seconds, then opened his mouth to say something, while breathing at the same time, and looked at the side wall without moving his head or saying anything; I’m guessing he regretted answering my question with such enthusiasm. After a few seconds he said that those 30k specialists were required to work on the 30k service customers as a priority, and that they already had customers waiting in line to get a 30k service. I could see no cars waiting anywhere other than the ones that were already being worked upon. I left the place, hoping to get up early tomorrow morning and going to a service center nearby.

What’s up with businesses not wanting to be more flexible? They can use the services they already have, utilize any resources that are available, like those 30k specialists who were not all busy, and use them to have another satisfied customer and a little bit more money? Those mechanics work there fulltime as Honda specialists, and thus get paid by the hour, regardless of how many cars they actually work on. Management could avoid having too many customers on certain days to give the mechanics a break for the rest of the day, which can be understandable on some levels. However, the management staff was willing to put those mechanics to much more work, which would take hours compared to a 20 minute oil change, when that work brought in $130 instead of the $19.95. Thus, if money is the focus, why not get something instead of nothing?

This narrow-minded approach to doing business would work great when you’re selling only one service, or only one specific product which cannot be customized. However, if you have more than one product or service that overlaps with other products or services offered by you, it is wise to teach all staff to be more flexible into customizing a service or a product to meet the need of a customer, who otherwise would not be a customer.

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