Stop hiding from people if you want a happier life and if you want happiness.
There is no other way to emphasize something as important as this without stating it directly. Regardless of your goals, wants or needs, this one major negative element in your life will ultimately affect everything else in your life negatively.
In fact, this major element of hiding from people in your life, is what affects your daily life, all your actions, and your future.
We prefer hiding from people. We do it daily. We accept it as being so normal that we do not even think about its existence. We just react to it as if we had a life dedicated to hiding from others. This fear that makes us hide from others, for any reason, is actually making us fail at almost every great opportunity that comes our way. For every person we claim we like hanging out with, there are probably 2 people out there we hide from.
Phone, emails, txts, in person, on the road, online, people around us, etc: we like hiding for various reasons wherever we are. We hide from bill collectors, people who honk at us, people we find annoying, people who forward us annoying emails, other students who may make fun of us, kids who may bully us at parties, and many other groups of people. When we hide from others, everything we do in life revolves around the fact that we’re afraid. How can our life be productive, minimalistic, or even happy when it is based around fear?
Such fear ensures that all your goals, dreams and efforts in life are always inferior to what they could be.
While we may not be able to control the outcome of an uncomfortable situation, we can definitely change the way we react to people related to the situations in question.
Chill. Relax.
Living in fear by hiding from others - like a cat?
Think about this question always:
If I don’t hide, will I die?
If the answer is no, why are you afraid?
You have to face the fear of hiding from people in one simple way: think about the situation, realize your fear is harming your life, and then start living. Stop worrying about what others may think or how uncomfortable dealing with some situation may be. It is actually not our logical thought or even feeling that makes us hide most of the time. It is fear. Fear is an emotional reaction to something we think can harm us mentally, physically or in some other manner.
We try not to scream or cry all the time. We try not to laugh all the time. We try not to eat out every hour of the day. We try not to sleep 24 hours a day. We try not to talk 24 hours a day. We even try not to think of our dead friends and close ones after they die.
We do, however, keep living in fear of others and keep on hiding. We prefer holding onto that emotional outburst called “fear” more than than any other emotional outburst or trend in life.
3 years ago I realized I had developed a strong tendency, for a long time, to hide from many groups of people including bill collectors, unknown or blocked calls, malls and places where certain people hung out, and even people I knew who forwarded me useless emails. I was living in fear. Last year I decided to get rid such an unhealthy behavior in my life. This year, I finally started acting on such a decision. I answer all calls now, I reply to all annoying emails to tell annoying people I know to not contact me, and I also go anywhere I want regardless of who else goes there, in addition to many, many other things. I simply do not care anymore, or I try not to.
It is amazing how much more happiness I have in my life now, compared to when I was living a life hiding from others.
Stop Hiding from People. Start Acting. Make the Act of Hiding from Others React to You.
If you’re hiding from others, you’re limiting yourself in everything you do. It’s very simple to stop hiding and to jump into the solutions right away. Here are some practical tips and areas to focus on how you can get started:
Are you ready to stop living in fear?
- Answer all phone calls at least once. Tell bill collectors to work with you or to get lost. Tell annoying people you’re busy and that you’ll let them know later when they can call you. Answer blocked or unknown calls at least once to find out who it is.
Once you face any phone call at least once, you can then happily ignore it. Ignoring something happily after practically dealing with it once is better and different than living a life hiding in fear.
- Go out in public happily. There is no need to hide from others, regardless of your looks, height, weight, gender, clothes, personality or character. Simply ignore others. Why should you have to fear others when you go out?
- Reply to annoying emails sent to you by people you know. Let them know you’re not interested in such emails. Why would you want to revolve and waste your life around hiding from a few pixels on your monitor screen?
- Tell people who annoy you to go away. Tell people what you’re thinking directly in order to stop things from proceeding. If you feel you may end up getting into a fight, get someone else involved to talk to that person on your behalf while you’re there. Make sure you do’t get into any argument or fight, and let the other 3rd person do the talking for you. It’s better to get help and have someone else help you get over the fear of others than to keep on hiding.
- Start doing whatever you want with your life. You’re 60 and want to go ice skating? Go ahead. Want to go eat and see a movie by yourself? Do it. Want to ask someone out in front of everyone? Ask today! Want to dress differently than what society expects your age, gender, class, color or identification to dress like? Dress away.
- Start calling people you don’t want to, but have to. Cancel credit cards you don’t need, negotiate your current insurance plan, tell the bad news you have to tell someone, cancel appointments don’t want anymore, and more. Start calling. Get things done so that your life can have less negative obstacles on the way to happiness.
Who are you hiding from, and why?
Fear is an emotional reaction that in my view should make us more cautious and prepare us more to handle a situation in a manner where the outcome can be more beneficial to us. We, however, hold on to fear as if it is the outcome we want. We don’t have to, though, and we can choose not to. We just have to think and realize first that we have such a choice. Then we have to act.
Which people, companies, elements in life do you hide from? Why are you hiding from them? Would you like to stop being afraid of such people? Do you think such hiding and a life spent in fear provides any benefit?
Do you want to stop hiding from people? What’s stopping you from doing that?
Please share your thoughts on this in the comments below. You can come out of hiding to comment, by the way. Start living.
Thanks for reading!
OK, so I’ve come out of hiding for this comment, and your words have moved me to follow the example you have set, at least some of the time, gradually, to reduce the hiding. And I fully agree with you on the importance of reducing and eliminating irrational fears from our lives completely.
David, thanks for sharing!
Hopefully 2012 for you is full of open (non-hiding) interactions?
I agree, plus the fact social media help us hid from people
I know that I’m hiding from people but it’s not that easy to change it. I’m always afraid that someone will be annoyed by me or doesn’t like me. I don’t know how to get over that fear.
It’s true that if you want to achieve happiness you have to stop hiding from people and start interacting with them. If you find it really hard to socialize with people in person, it’s good to engage in social media sites in order to develop and hone your people skills. This can be your first step to stop hiding from people.
Quite true! This is like saying, “Keep learning in life. Be well educated especially about living relationships. And be thankful of the blessings bestowed as well as share them for others to enjoy and spread happiness. ” I really like the message conveyed. Thanks for the post.
Zara, thanks for sharing too. Hmmmm, wow that is a very different association and meaning of what the direct sentence can convey, though it’s very good that you can look deeper and find more meaning than just the idea of not wanting to hide from others.
Great article, I would like to remind people that are hiding of a quote from almost 2.000 years ago, Emperor Marcus Aurelius said; Begin – to begin is half the work, let half still remain; again begin this, and thou wilt have finished.
Thanks for the quote Chris.
Can you share how this applies directly to people who’re hiding?
Good news if you add my site is User
I’m afraid that if I tell everyone that annoys me I lose a lot of my friends.
It’s so true!!! If you want to achieve happiness you have to stop hiding from people. Interacting is the key to success in life and the ultimate way to happiness. If you find it really hard to socialize with people in person, it’s good to engage in social media sites in order to develop and hone your people skills. As long as you stop hiding from people, everything is better then that.
Thanks for the reply!
Good tip about socializing online more than offline if you find it hard to do so offline.
good one.. i should do that from now on wards.
Although I’ve done it myself, isn’t it strange when people hide away from others because of, say, personal insecurities?
After a number of years I finally learned it’s more effective to stand my ground and just be who I am – it’s a shame others, including myself, don’t realize this earlier on.
Good point Jay: personal insecurity is one of the biggest reason, in my view, that makes people hide from others. People feel that they will run into a confrontation in different situations and that they are not prepared for such confrontations. In reality, such “confrontations” are actually just more life events that one can go through and fully take care of.
A very interesting article, but I think some of the things you have mentioned require quite a lot of nerve. For instance, even the act of telling a debt collector to get lost would require a different mindset to one that most people have, including myself. That said, the overall feel of the article is one of empowerment, which is no bad thing.
I agree. Those things I mentioned do require the will to actually do those things. In the end, it comes down to how much the person is capable of trying new things to improve their life, whether or not such new things are risky in reality or just in their minds.
Which one do you hate or avoid the most?
Thats very much true hiding something from people will surely going to becomes hurdle in long run.
So better to tell and get solution and figure it out.
Thanks a lot for this important sharing.
Do you hide from people, Hily?
It’s real that if you want to obtain enjoyment you have to quit covering from individuals and begin essential them.
Thanks for sharing. You’ve just made me found a new year resolution. Thank you!
Awesome, Keven!
What else is on your list?
I’m hiding from friends, family and strangers because I feel I am an unfit person. I have no confidence, I’m embarrassed and ashamed of myself, and I fear others will see all the negative things I see in myself. I don’t have a strong sense of identity, either, so whenever I’m with people I never feel like myself. I just try to be who others expect me to be in order to fit in. I need help.
Gary, thanks for commenting!
Hmmmm, look at it this way: if you feel everyone else only sees negative things in you, you can face it and think it won’t get worse, correct?
Why do you think, if I can ask, everyone else sees only negative things in you? Do you feel that going outside, to work, buying food, etc?
I totally identify with this, I mimic the social habits of whoever I’m around..I guess, in a way, to be accepted? I don’t know who I am, and I don’t want to be awkward..
I see your point, but while this is desirable, it isn’t realistic to negotiate when toxic people are really trying their best to sabotage us. If they don’t have an opportunity to shoot or strike, they cannot do harm.
The best solution against a determined foe is often to avoid conflict by deflecting them from engaging. When we stand and fight, we don’t really know how the fight will end. Remember David and Goliath. David had a trick up his sleeve and didn’t even wear body armour. Goliath thought he could not fail. Goliath was wrong. So can we be
It’s wisdom to spot those who will never negotiate. We simply have to avoid them.
i enjoyed your article
Wow..this pretty much opened my eyes. I’m absolutely a hider, I hide from people I call “friends” even. This has opened my eyes a little, and hopefully for good.
Tell me one thing then… what kind of reason is behind for ignoring and forgetting your past. Why you painted all of your mirrors black from your behind. Why don’t you even want to share a single thing from those who know you since from your childhood. You are hiding for what ? You try to see the best in everyone but unhappy people are some of the hardest people to like and that’s because they don’t like themselves much.
This isn’t good or bad. It’s just the way of things. I know nothing stays the same. But remember one thing “No matter where life takes you, never forget where you came from and your old relations, because at that time… people knew you from your inside… when you were NOTHING… ”
I need a reply.
Good post to focus on happiness and how we can hopefully achieve it. Money can’t buy happiness, and it is true that specific actions need to be done, and others avoided, to have the proper conditions in place to enjoy true happiness.
I experienced that before but now i realize that there is no reason for me to hide from other people….
An interesting article and i feel you are trying to deal with the issue fairly. However, as my website still under preparation shows, there are those like me who are veteran hiders from the human race. I know no other life–but it is a necessity for those known to be persecuted like me, i am the subject of LUKE FOWLER’S 2007 film BOGMAN PALMJAGUAR widely shown around Britain and abroad and i have a website to go with the film. For such as me–and i am a conservationist who also represents the wider human and non human world alike who hide from people–such a lifestylehas been a survival necessity–though i accept i know no other life now decades later. Such as me are the products of known prolonged persecution.My case all round world by now.
I have learned some new things from your web page about pc’s. Another thing I have always imagined is that computers have become an item that each household must have for many reasons. They offer convenient ways in which to organize the home, pay bills, shop, study, listen to music and also watch television shows. An innovative technique to complete many of these tasks has been a computer. These computers are mobile, small, powerful and mobile.
Sigh
I always spent my half an hour to read this web site抯 posts every day along with a cup of coffee.
Sigh, and sigh
Sigh, and sigh.
The secret behind how to become a happy man rests in quality relationships and if we want to become a happier person, we must know how to make a happier relationships.