Hitch was a great movie. It showed Will Smith as a relationship expert who made people do the right things to make other people fall in love with them.
There is a famous scene in Hitch where Will Smith is arguing with Eva Mendes at a Speed Dating service in New York.
Speed Dating is where you sit on a table with a random stranger and talk to them only for a few moments.
Once the time is up, you get up and move on to the next table where another stranger will then talk with you.
In the event, you receive a scorecard. After each table date, you write down the person’s name and whether you you want to go on a date afterwards. You do this while you’re switching tables.
People who choose each other get to meet again, for a much longer time.
Well, Speed Dating exists in real life too, and today we have a story worthy of a movie.
One of our The Reasoner readers in New York recently attended the SpeedNY Dating events, which is the same exact thing showed in the movie Hitch. SpeedNY Dating and other similar sub-branches are the siblings or co-brands of the larger SpeedLA Dating.
The reader attended such events, found out that the scorecard used at such events was creating confusion for the attendees, and offered a great suggestion to SpeedLA Dating to improve such scorecards.
The response our reader got was unexpected.
SpeedLA Dating booted our reader from their SpeedNY Dating events list.
Read on to see the entire e-mail transcripts of what went down, and how the SpeedLA employees treat people who offer great positive feedback.
SpeedLA Dating Needs No Feedback!
Here is the original pre-face story the reader shared directly with me over IM:
the main organizer, who brings the cards
arrived at least 1 hour late
so people had no idea what was going on, they were just sitting and started to chat w/ the girl across the table
then, when she arrived, the cards were passed out in a hurry w/ no explanation or anything… nor any introduction like… we are about to begin the event, each date will last X minutes, etc.
in fact, no one realized that the event had officially begun until the guy came around (there were 2 people, main organizer is a girl w/ the cards… then the guy, her sidekick)… and tapped me on the back, indicating i should move to the next date
most people didnt even have pens to fill out the cards, but i had brought my own
and for most dates, had to lend my pen to the girl
Ok, so at least Will Smith knew the script before he got paid millions to be in that scene. The above is nothing compared to what happened later on.
Following is the entire e-mail exchange from that The Reasoner reader, whose name and e-mail we’ve changed below to say Copernicus instead, that they had with SpeedLA Dating.
The e-mails go from top to bottom (from the first e-mail at top to the replies below it).
I think it’s necessary to start from the top, to show how the entire e-mail communication started. Angela from SpeedLA Dating sent an e-mail to Copernicus regarding his SpeedNY Dating experience.
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 4:39 PM,
SpeedLA Dating angela @ speedladating.com wrote:
Hi Copernicus,
I hope you had fun at Butterfield 8 and our lovely Hosts took good care of you.
I am sorry, but I do not see a match for you this time.
Please do not be discouraged, we have many repeat daters and some nights they get matches, other nights they don’t. We hope that you will join us again soon!
Have a wonderful day!
Best,
Angela xx
Sounds cool, right? Yes it does. Very encouraging indeed. Copernicus replied to Angela.
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 3:01 PM,
Copernicus Marco copernicus @gmail.com wrote:
Thanks for the update, Angela.
Quick question — are match determinations based on scoring that first checkbox next to the person’s name or is it based on the listed top 3-5 in the bottom-right box?
Thanks.
Good question. If your entire hook-up experience depends on a scorecard, you should know how the scorecard works. Interestingly, a new person named Thao replied to Copernicus instead.
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 6:03 PM,
SpeedLA Dating thao @speedladating.com wrote:
Hi Copernicus,
Matches are determined by the names you put in the top 5 box at the bottom corner. The rest of the page is for your own notes. If you picked someone, and they also have you on their top 5, then it’s a match. 
Cheers,
Thao xo
Sounds good so far. Copernicus decided to offer a great feedback on how to improve the scorecard.
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 3:12 PM,
Copernicus Marco copernicus @gmail.com wrote:
Ah, ok. Thanks for the clarification.
Just to provide some feedback, I think the matching process should be explained more clearly to the daters. This is my second session and for the first session, I was never told to put down a top 5… so left it blank unwittingly.
Thao replied, and was still curious enough to keep Copernicus around.
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 6:14 PM,
SpeedLA Dating thao @speedladating.com wrote:
Did you not put down a top 5 on your card for this event? If so, and you did fancy some ladies, you can always update us via email by sending us their names, and we’ll be able to recheck the cards for you. Just let us know.
Cheers,
Thao xo
Copernicus then decided to explain the feedback some more. Notice the politeness, and how Copernicus never loses his cool, whether directly or sarcastically. Why not? Because he doesn’t have to!
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 3:22 PM,
Copernicus Marco copernicus @gmail.com wrote:
Well, there were a couple I did fancy. I believe one girl was called Natalia.
My guess is many daters assumed the matching was based on the line-item scoring… and either left the lower box blank or just scribbled down some names at the end. Maybe you could re-run the matches based on the line-items for those who left the lower box blank?
This is where things got very…personal for the Speed Dating people. Thao stopped replying, and a third person named Diana from Speed LA Dating started telling Copernicus that he was wrong, and that the Speed Dating system needed no feedback as it was perfect.
Not only that, Diana made sure she mention that Copernicus had so much trouble with such a simple thing.
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 6:45 PM,
SpeedLA Dating diana @speedladating.com wrote:
Hi Copernicus,
I think the problem only lies with you – it’s very simple. You write down who you fancy and if they wrote you down – it’s a match.
Sorry you had such trouble.
Cheers,
Diana
Imagine if you complained to eHarmony, Comcast, Google or even Facebook about something, and you got the above as a response. You would fancy that the e-mail reaches the pits of Consumerist and the peaks of Reddit, right?
Copernicus replied, very politely and calmly, as if he was not being attacked. What a cool guy!
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 3:51 PM,
Copernicus Marco copernicus @gmail.com wrote:
Hi Diana,
Yes, the concept is simple. My point is… I think many (if not most) of your customers assume the ‘match’ is based on scoring you put beside each date’s name.
Cool guy in our view – a total bastard in the eyes of Diana! She replied again with the same tone she carried last time:
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 6:53 PM,
SpeedLA Dating diana @speedladating.com wrote:
Hi Copernicus,
Sorry to argue luv – but you’re wrong.
We’ve used the same scorecard for over 5 years and tens of thousands of daters over 5 years and 10 cities. We see 500 daters come through our door every week and we don’t have a problem with daters not understanding the scorecard.
The lines above are to remember whom you fancy – it couldn’t be simpler. If you write down a name and they write you down – it’s a match.
Thanks!
Diana
Seriously. This is just hilarious. A client for a premium service is offering you feedback like an elegant professional, and you’re replying with the “No one else has complained, so you’re wrong” defensive character?
It’s not a rare experience for SpeedLA Dating, though. Keep reading to see how they receive many complaints on a regular basis.
It shows you that Diana can never, ever talk to new people easily for long without getting extremely mad.
At this point, Copernicus, being a polite customer and still acting cool, decided to simply end the conversation in an extremely polite way.
On Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 4:00 PM,
Copernicus Marco copernicus @gmail.com wrote:
I just wanted to share my constructive feedback. Thanks.
I don’t understand this guy, really. He’s cool, though he could have made sure she realizes what she’s doing.
Then the final e-mail comes. Diana proves that the best is yet to come. She replies with this:
From: SpeedLA Dating diana @speedladating.com
Date: Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 7:01 PM
Subject: Re: Registration for tomorrow’s midtown event
To: Copernicus Marco
Thanks - sorry we are not a match.
We wish you the best in your dating endeavors.
Diana
She had him removed from the SpeedNY Dating service. :O
Really. Tell me please, if you're not laughing like me: what just happened? 
What do you think of Thao, Diana, SpeedLA Dating and SpeedNY Dating?
Thank you Copernicus for forwarding us the SpeedLA Dating e-mails. Hopefully you’ll start finding dates on your own in the hottest clubs and bars of New York. Your coolness in such responses shows that you’re going to find the best of the best with your talks!
And your way of communicating so calmly will also ensure that people like Diana never approach you. That’s a good thing!
Many Online Reviews Accusing SpeedLA of Insulting, Harassing and Stalking Clients who Disagree or Offer Feedback
It seems Copernicus is not the only one facing such employees who can’t handle any form of disagreement or feedback.
Check out SpeedLA Dating on Yelp: you’ll find stories of SpeedLA Dating harassing customers (girls and boys), stalking ex-customers, insulting anyone who complains and bashing anyone who offers any kind of feedback:
What customers think of the SpeedLA Dating, SpeedNY Dating, and all the other branches of the Speed Dating company
What do you think of SpeedLA Dating? Have you ever used it? Will you ever use it?
How would you, the The Reasoner reader, deal with such e-mails from Diana? Would you hire Diana in your organization as a person who deals with customers and feedback? What do you think of Diana’s unprofessional work ethics and her inability to cope with any kind of feedback or change?
What would you, as an employer, do regarding Diana’s continuous belittling remarks towards the SpeedNY Dating customer?
Please share your thoughts, comments, SpeedLA Dating or other similar stores below.
Next time you’re in LA and SpeedLA Dating, please say hello to Diana, Thao and the rest of the employees for me. Tell them you’ve a great suggestion for improving the scorecard.
Thanks for reading!
I also found your posts very interesting. In fact after reading, I had to go show it to my friend and he enjoyed it as well
Maybe I’m missing something here – but I don’t see what was so wrong with how the company acted. It’s a dating company and I am sure they see their fair share of freaks.
I used this company for a Boston event and was not impressed. I wrote my Yelp review and now, EIGHT MONTHS LATER, I am being harassed on twitter.
And, I have to say, it’s pretty interesting that Catherine (whose IP address shows her as being in LA) commented on this blog on 12/28 and my blog about dating with a nasty comment on 12/29 just shortly before I received my first nasty tweet from Speed LA Dating.
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