Do you have a Twitter¹ account? I do, and I call it “BesZ On Twitter” among other things, sort of like saying Bob on Drugs or Bes on Sprite. Just like other things in life, Twitter is a tool that many people use without understanding why they are using it. Many people on Twitter add nothing useful to their own lives or the lives of the Twitter machines², yet they Twitter because they can. They Twitter so that you and I can look at their Twitter and wonder “Why?” I guess I should be grateful for the existence of such people: without them, people like me would either have gone extinct long time ago, or would have never existed.

With some people posting normal and nice Twitter updates, and with many others going psycho and posting everything they do in a day and claiming that they do not want attention, Twitter is one of the best examples of how technology can be used for good things and how technology can be abused and overhyped simply because of the existence of that technology. Today I would like to share with you some different Twitter messages that people can submit to Twitter for the sole reason of increasing their Twitter count and to get more of their life details into the attention of other people. And to appear cool also.

Twittering for no reason other than to Twitter

The below Twitter messages exist just because Twitter exists, and just because one can Twitter, and because one cannot think of any other reason to Twitter, and just to increase Twitter followers³. It seems that the same mentality that has turned innocent blogs into money making professional-services-claiming-to-be-blogs and the non-blog arena into website-filled-with-keywords-and-tags-to-please-search-engines world has also flooded Twitter: people keep describing Twitter and similar services with as many complicated terms and terminologies as possible so that the end result will be more direct or indirect money somehow by making people think “Wow, this is useful because it is sophisticated. I’ma gonna use it! COOL!”

It is as if the fact “Bes eats because there is food” has become the universal law upon which Twittering for many people revolves around. They Twitter because there is Twitter. So I present to you 14 Twitter messages that should help you realize as to what the focus of the message is, and what the real focus should be. Keep in mind that the poster of such messages had no reason behind the message other than to Twitter it. You decide what you would want your focus and reasoning to be for each message if you had a chance.

1. In the bathroom.
2. Out of the bathroom. Realized I only went in there to Twitter that I was in the bathroom.
3. Throwing up while typing this. Food poisoning. Crap got some on the phone
4. She is confused as to why I am Twittering during this interview. Just ask me the questions.
5. This exam sucks and the moderator keeps looking as if I was cheating through my cell phone.
6. Waiting for the cash register to process this sale, holding the customer credit card in my other hand.
7. In police station. Handcuffed. Drunk-driving-over-rabbits-offense. Thank god they didn’t take phone away. I can twitter w/phone behind me.
8. I woke up.
9. Neighbors woke up.
10. With my boy friend. He doesn’t know he is my boy friend yet.
11. Wife woke up. $&^%
12. Following this stranger, a beautiful girl, for hours now. Hope she doesn’t notice; I’m only following to make sure she gets home safe.
13. I am Twittering because this is Twitter.
14. I am Twittering so Bes can talk about me.

There you go, my Twitter loving or Twitter hating or Twitter confused beings⁴. The above Twitter messages, and many other Twitter updates on similar notes have no purpose for them. Many people simply use Twitter to let everyone else know what they are doing, while others do it to gain attention through more Twitter followers or through the stereotype that the more you Twitter, the cooler you are.

Of course, the funniest thing is to see how many Twitter-obsessed people have no communication skills, no interest in making real friends, no interest in the well being of others, and no interest in how to focus on content instead of creating a hype through presentation.

Thank you for reading and not Twittering.

I will stop here please, so I can think of what to Twitter now. I hope I made you pause your Twitter for at least a few moments. Please let me know what you think, if you have any comments, or if you would like to see more of such messages or would like to share your own messages or ideas.

Thank you for reading. You can get back to your pro-Twitter or anti-Twitter activities now. I will go back to being confused and giggling nervously in my head⁵.

1. Twitter is basically an online announcement tool where you can let others know what you are thinking, doing, or anything else you wish, as long as you can fit it within the 140 word limit. [↩]
2. More strain on the machines even if it means more popularity and potential for the Twitter company. [↩]
3. Twitter followers are basically other registered Twitter members who have subscribed or chosen to follow your updates. Anything you Twitter is shown to those subscribers through their main Twitter page, and also through e-mail, instant messaging or cell phone updates if those people have chosen to receive your Twitter messages through such methods [↩]
4. Isn’t it interesting that it’s hard to find that many people who like a few things on Twitter but hate many other things, or vice versa, or that many people who look at Twitter in terms of its usefulness in life and its comparison to other existing tools which already do everything Twitter does? I am confused and find it interesting, as I think Twitter is overall a hype and brings only 2 main useful things to the table. Those 2 things can be discussed in a future article maybe. What do you think? [↩]
5. You did not forget the original meanings of the word “Twitter”, did you? 0_0 [↩]