Thought: On the possiblity of treating online friends like offline friends
A friend from Southern California e-mailed me today asking if I wanted to go see a movie with them tonight. I replied back reminding them that unfortunately I could not do that as I was more than 400 miles away in Northern California. We kept e-mailing each other for a while, which made me real something. We were acting like online friends, not being able to interact face to face with each other. We were making up for such an absence of having physical access to each other by sending each other e-mails. Somehow, it seemed that online friends could in fact be treated like offline friends on many levels, since treating offline friends like online friends did not seem to be creating any issues.
Is it ok to view online friends like offline friends?
When you move from one city to another, treating people you know in real life as your offline buddies may be a good thing, as that allows you to still maintain friendship through online communication. I wonder what different people think the differences between online and offline friends are other than the offline friends being physically present around us. When can we start treating an online friend as a regular friend? Can an online friend even be considered a true friend, the same way we consider some offline friends as our true buddies?
I try to view friends as friends, regardless of them being offline or online
I interact with a couple of online friends on a daily basis via instant and text messages. I have had some good online experiences with people, and I have also had some shocking online experiences with people. Most of my online friends have never seen me. Yet, we still act like offline friends who now live in different places. Our interactions, conversations, feelings and levels of trust regarding different issues does not seem to be hindered by the fact that in reality we are probably just different variations of pixels and bytes floating around in the endless world of the internet.
Giving online people more chances to be friends can be good
I notice people experimenting with other people online on a daily basis. They share personal feelings about different things in order to see the reaction of the other person before deciding whether or not to share even more. Even though it is easy to fake emotions online, like typing out “Oh I am so sorry that your neighbor died!” while watching and enjoying a funny movie at the same time, people still take risks and try to hope for the best. I think making an effort and hoping for some result because of that effort is a good thing. People are not born friends. They become friends through friendships. This same rule applies to the online world: online friends can also prove their friendship the same way offline friends do, and people can also allow others to prove their friendship online.
What do you think? What is your opinion of online friends and their comparison to offline friends?
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( March 3rd, 2007 at 9:49 am )
Yes! I was wondering the same thing!! Yeah, I do treat my online friends like my offline friends, actually… I do consider some of my close online friends as my friends, but it’s hard, because sometimes, online, someone can act like they’re your friend, but in reality, they’re not… So…
Heheh about interacting with a couple of online friends on a daily basis. Yep, I understand EXACTLY what you mean about how they act the same way as friends you’d have in real life.
Anyways, as for a comparison between online friends and offline friends… Well, it’s hard because online friends aren’t, and can’t, always be there for you, while offline friends should be there for you most of the time. BUT… There are some online friends whom I basically consider an “offline” friend because they’re always there for me!
Hahahah… So I think it just depends on who it is for me to consider just an online friend, or if they’re a friend I can actually rely on in real life if we ever did meet.
( March 3rd, 2007 at 10:43 am )
SP, thanks for sharing your opinion.
It’s nice to know that you treat your online friends like offline friends, since it seems you have thought over this a lot.
Hmmm, I wonder who you chat with on a daily basis? :p Yes, I like being a good person and a friend regardless of medium of communication [face to face or via typed messages], and I have seen some people including you being even better!
You are right about online friends not being able to be there in person. Also, many offline friends do tend act even more distant than online friends, which is interesting.
I am sure you can rely on your online friends, who are considered “offline” friends by you also, if you ever did meet.
( March 3rd, 2007 at 1:07 pm )
I was also wondering about this issue too!
I actually found that online friends are very helpful in many ways even though I don’t physically see or know them. In fact, we both are taking risks since we don’t know eachother. I guess it’s okay to share a bit of your personal life to a stranger knowing that they can trust us as well. In other ways, for example, e-mail, they care just the same as online friends do. By taking a step in questioning how you feel or something shows that they have taken the time out to see how are you really doing. This ties into what I will be saying below.
There is an issue of trust like you said. But as you’ve also mentioned, if they bring out their hearts to help an individual, like I mentioned above, then you know who you can really trust, especially if they communicate with you on a regular basis. It’s good to have another friend out there that cares.
For one thing, we have the same interests: the web. Its like we are one big family that is scattered across the world. But what does it matter? I tend to treat everyone the same.. treating offline friends like online friends. Even though we aren’t face to face, you can still see their motives either way. For one thing, I’m glad that I can be a part of your “offline family” so-to-speak because I know that someone is out there that I can speak to openly when I have issues.
PS: regarding my trip to California, I will be going there on March 23, or should I say, arrive on this date. I will be leaving on March 25 so is there any places worth visiting during my stay? I’m not really familiar with the place there so I don’t really have any specific places I would like to visit hehe. I would love to go shopping though ahaha. Maybe any tourist sites I can visit? Perhaps I can visit you lol! XD no idea. Thanks for your help
appreciated!
( March 5th, 2007 at 9:36 am )
Thanks for the detailed comment Vera.
Yes, online friends can be very helpful even though they are not in front of us. You are right, both people are taking risks because of being strangers and having faith of some sort in each other.
I like your example of using the web to cite a similarity. That is so true. I think what you do is good; treating online and offline friends the same way, that is. Yay, my online family has one more confirmed member!
Also, regarding your trip, there are so many places you can visit while you are here! I mentioned some in another comment. There are also so many shopping places here. I would be more than happy/honored to meet you while you are here, lol. I can show you around if you like, lol. Be prepared, though: it’s really cold. Maybe you are used to the cold weather, but for me, it’s almost freezing!
( March 17th, 2007 at 3:50 pm )
Heh. Commenting again, in a while back post - hope you don’t mind ;)!
RE: Thanks for the quite detailed explanations! Would you be busy, because I don’t want to make you take out your time on me lol. I looked up the weather over there. It’s considerably hot since we live over here haha (thinking 15′C is quite hot already) haha.. only in the summer will we get (20′C ).. then that is really hot lol XD!
( March 17th, 2007 at 4:10 pm )
Vera, no problem at all. I actually want to encourage people to bring up all my previous posts and read them and respond to them too, as I put a lot of effort writing them.
Wow, lucky you! I feel like freezing sometime. However, today and the last 3 days it has been considerably warmer compared to the past few weeks. 
We have to coordinate online, lol.
Also, I will not be busy, no worries.
I wonder if I can find more online people in Bay Area who can get together also. That would be cool, I think.
( March 18th, 2007 at 10:16 am )
Bes, it actually snowed again after a few days of good weather. Weird eh? Seems like the cold won’t leave us, hope it will though! Hope it will be warm on the days that I’ll be visiting! Hehe, yes :). That sounds nice, we were thinking of going to Disneyland perhaps, not sure yet =)
( March 19th, 2007 at 10:22 am )
Wow, Vera, you will be going to Disneyland and San Francisco while being in California for 2 days? You must have a really good time schedule planned, heh!
Yes, snow is good! I think it should be warmer compared to where you are right now, while you are in California.
( June 17th, 2007 at 2:29 pm )
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