Thought: Are online social networking sites destroying the offline socializing skills of people?
9 Aug
I get messages and friend requests on different social networking sites daily. I sometimes visits the different profiles of new people that invite me to do something. Visiting different people helps me figure out how different people socialize online. There is a growing trend where people act in different manners that they themselves consider to be smart, and they assume that such online actions, related to socializing, make them smart in the offline world. In reality, when you observe such people, including yourself, you realize how being good at online socialization actually destroys a lot of out offline socializing skills.
We become so good at interacting int he online social networking world, that we start acting in the exact same manner, as we would online on a social networking site, in the offline world also, forgetting all the extra variables that come into play in the offline world. I wonder if the online socializing networking sites are helping people destroy their own offline socializing skills, by over-simplifying the concept of communicating with others.
Do online social networking sites both help and damage communication skills?
Take the online interaction allowed through social networking. More and more people are interacting online because they do not know how to interact with people in the offline world. That is both good and bad. It is good because it allows everyone to have an equal chance of meeting new people; if you cannot find self respect from others in the offline world or cannot meet new people easily in the offline world, you can try to build your character and contacts in the online world. It is bad because online social networking sites give you interaction skills that make you treat other human beings as a bunch of online protocols.
Many people cannot apply the same online communication principles to the offline world
Many people can poke on Facebook but they do not know how to communicate occasionally offline. Many guys love adding beautiful random girls online on MySpace but they do not know how to make any kind of a friend in the offline world. Online, a guy or a girl tells the other one how much love exists between them through Orkut, but that same person does not know what love is without sex or money in the offline world. People who are good at telling the truth online through their social networking blogs and messages to other online contacts, are also usually good at lying about the same things offline and vice versa, because they simply do not know how to communicate in the offline world.
Many people love disagreeing with their virtual friends without any logic, yet the same people do not know how to deal with anyone disagreeing with them in the offline world. Many people know when to block and delete a friend from their online social networking account, yet those same people do not know when an offline friend is actually not a friend and should simply be ignored, and vice versa. People can talk about honesty and friendship online through a lot of philosophical words in order to impress, but in real life, one can end friendship over sex, a dollar, a movie ticket, a disagreement, stubbornness or even food. Similarly, other people can talk about honesty and friendship in the online world in a very simple manner, yet they cannot help but complicate the same things in the offline world.
Why? Many people not know how to keep in mind all the different variables involved when communicating in the offline world, including the variable of being selfless sometimes.
Are online social networking sites so easy to use that people are deleting their own common sense?
I wonder if, at least for some people, the online social networking sites are making them better at portraying an illusion of communication online, yet making those same people clueless as to how to respect others and how to be considerate to others when it comes to socializing and interacting with other people in the offline world.
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Don’t you think that their incapability to form offline relationships is the main reason you have people flocking to these social networks.
Ottayan, thanks for the comment. :) Interesting avatar, by the way.
Yes, I do think that many people go online because offline they face issues forming relationships. Also, however, as I hinted above, I think that group is just a part of the bigger population, and the remaining people slowly start focusing on their online skills and the benefits they get through social networks, instead of keeping their focus on the offline socialization skills also. Some people simply do not appear to be trying offline, and some people are completely happy with how they socialize offline, even if in reality there is no socialization in their socializing skills.
Do you think majority of the people go to such social networks because they are bad at socializing offline?
The answer to your question is no. What I was driving at is that (in my muddled way) the people who are successful at social networks are the same ones who are great in offline networking.
Other than the fun value and some exclusive or niche networks(Technology) all the other networks do’nt add anything new to our life.
Its a group of like minded people with like minded interests. The difference is there are no physical boundaries.
I used to write letters (no emails) to communicate with friends who live in other countries different than mine. However, times have changed and nowadays, people complain that they don’t have enough free time. From now on, I sit in from of my computer each time I have to write a letter. Well, no letters but emails. Sending emails is not my preferable option to communicate with other people but the quickest one. This is life.
We become so good at interacting [int he] online social networking world.
I’ve noticed a helluva lot of teens are occupying myspace, bebo, facebook, whatever. Almost everyone I know has an account on some form of online networking website, and when they ask me if I have it (I say no), they give me a look of disgust as if I’m not ‘tech’ or cool enough.
But honestly, when I look at all their pages… I don’t get it. The stuff they have on their pages are stupid. A lot of people try and be ‘original’ and different and all, but they all end up looking the same. Everyone has the ‘random’ stupid videos, or the tons and tons of posing photos, where no-one smiles and you can only see 40% of their face. And the comments! So many are stupid insult-joke things, which… if you stuck it all into a proper conversation in real life, it would be the most ridiculously childish conversation ever.
Sorry this has become a rant. Yes, to some extent I think online socialising has destroyed a bit of offline socialising skills. Online, it’s okay and funny to be crude or impolite, even discriminative. But a lot of those things aren’t acceptable in a nice, formal environment in real life.
Some don’t realise that having —– number of hits and friends doesn’t mean they are real friends. They’ve made no effort to become real friends other than click a link and wait for an acception.
Ottayan, thank you for the response and the explanation.
That makes a bit sense, yes. Also, in your view, people good at online social networking are also good in offline networking, correct?
From my personal experience, it seems that more online-social-networking people are bad at offline communication [or bad at hiding certain things that shouldn't be shown] than people who are not focusing on online social networking. There are people who are good, but not that many. :)
Also, regarding like minded people with like minded interests, I see many people interacting a lot when it comes to similar interests on places like MySpace or Facebook. However, majority of the people do nothing: they simply add each other based on interests, and then communication and interaction goes down from there. I cannot pinpoint any specific social networking site where majority people come close because of similar interests. There are many forums, but not many social networking sites. Even on both of those platforms, majority of the people come close to the topic, and not to each other, and thus people interact only with the topic, within the topic, and not with each other. Overall, they do not come close. What do you think?
Kersson, thanks for the comment. :)
You bring up a good point. It is funny how many people say that they do not have time to write letters, but those same people spend more time doing things for themselves. In the end, it boils down to what they want, and not what they can do for others [in the minds of many]. The most efficient way to get something is preferred over the most efficient way to interact, communicate and get and give something. Fewer people are building relationships; more people are building businesses.
You are right. It is the life for many people, as they consider such things to be their life. I am fortunate enough to not consider such a trait my life. :)
In your view, and if you had time, would you prefer letters or e-mails?
Jess, thanks for the comment.
People “try” to be original without being original. I am Bes; I don’t try to be Bes. That is what sets two kinds of people apart; some try to be something, others are the things they want to be, or things they are trying to change into. Thus, one is simply trying by not actually changing, and the other is showing the final output immediately, even if the change is ongoing. Of course, the latter is considered a dead trait by many people.
Online, more people can also be immature and stubborn and focus only on themselves, and act rude whenever. Online, more people can also be selfish and manipulative, and get what they want by lying a lot. It has become customary to call everyone a friend, even if one abuses the concept of friendship.
Like you pointed out, friendship is not accepting links or even writing letters or e-mails.
I couldn’t agree more actually. More and more kids are going out these days, their lives revolve around a computer screen and instant messenging windows or social networking comments etc… Nothing will change though, it’s only going to get worse… Yikes! Very good post, thanks for the read.
I am a girl of twenty two years of age and I live in SLC, UT. I believe that the fall offline socializing world has already come. The online world communication skills have taken over the real world leaving people with the abilities of saying nothing to anyone rather than saying something to someone. The relationships that are now being developed in modern society are purely on the online networks, all other relations reman stagnent. When I go out to a local dance studio, there are so many people that are ‘conducting business’ as opposed to building relationships. More time is spent with cellphone or virtual interactions than with person to person interactions. I could tell you the names many people that I have met there that are on my online network, but we would have to say little to one another in person unless it relates to posts from the network. I wish there was a way to change things but the only way that I know of taking action with this problem is to go online and post something about it.
I don’t think that online social networking is destroying offline socializing. For those that are naturally outgoing they will behave the same way, on or offline. For those that tend to lean more towards the shy side I think that online networking can be a great “training ground” so to speak. It gives them a chance to build some confidence behind the safety of the computer screen before heading out into the real world.