Questions are better than assumptions

14 Feb

When you deal with people on your blog, make efforts to question different things in order to know more about those people. Making efforts to know more about your blog readers gives you more chances to realize the value of your readers, and it also shows your readers that you care about them. If you make assumptions about people instead of inquiring and asking questions, you run the risk of offending and alienating your blog readers.

Assuming things about others can be offensive

I recently went to a Yard House with an engaged couple where the fiancee was my friend and I had just met the fiance. The hostess at the door, upon seeing my friend joke with me at that moment, asked “Table for two?” While such a question was innocently asked, the hostess had assumed that since the fiance was not talking, he was not with us. Such an assumption made the fiance feel a bit embarrassed for a while until I brought up the topic as a joke. The hostess could have instead asked “Table for how many?” simply to find out the answer before making an assumption.

Avoid assuming and start inquiring about your blog readers

Take steps to find out who your blog readers are and what they want. Assuming such things on your blog will result in your readers feeling disrespected. If you want to increase your network of contacts, you can never assume things about others. You have to take the step of finding out something about others even if that means asking them directly about it. On your blog, such a step will show that you are willing to dedicate time on your blog to find out more about your readers. When people realize that you prefer asking questions and avoid making assumptions, they will be happy to find out more about you and your blog instead of making assumptions of their own.

As for my friend and her fiance, they had a good time hanging out with me. The guy told me in the end that he really found me to be a great friend of her fiancee. I think that was probably because I brought up the “table for two” question in order to let him know it was only an assumption and how assumptions can be weird and funny. I think I liked the whole situation because it gave me an important issue to share with you.

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Author Bes

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Chau says:

February 15, 2007 at 5:50 pm

Wow, that’s crazy about the assumption for a table for 2…

But yeah, it’s hard to write EVERYTHING out in your blog because you don’t know what people can assume! Different people assume different things… Like 1 sentence can have multiple meanings, which sucks! LOL. That’s why I HATE that fact when I’m writing my blogs. LOL.

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Bes says:

February 16, 2007 at 7:06 am

Chau, it is strange how such an assumption can make people who hear it feel different things, isn’t it?

You are right. It is indeed very hard to write everything out to make sure no one gets offended, since people can assume a lot of things and people can also assume a lot of things because of what others assume about them. On your blog, I can see how it can sometimes be easy to assume things based on what you write and what your readers say in their comments about the things you write.

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My Response to My MyBiggestComplaint Complaint and Assumptions at The Reasoner - 16. Jun, 2007
[...] Thanks for reading my complaint over at mybiggestcomplaint.com . Did you read the last part of my comment above? I clearly stated that I was happy that my complaint was posted; the screenshot was posted in case my complaint wasn’t approved. That screenshot gives MyBiggestComplaint more advantage, as I show that even though I am doubting something, something else is clearly a very good thing. Why would you consider it “calling out” someone when the admins themselves don’t think it was calling out someone? I wasn’t thinking of that. I actually congratulated the admins in my comment above, saying that they did approve my complaint and that such services rock that allow complaints of their own service. I have a character where if I see something positive or something doubtful in my own assumption, I will point it out. I don’t like criticizing someone completely if I can avoid it. Is it a bad thing to ever talk about doubts or good intentions about someone when questioning the motives of something or that someone? It seems that even if I doubt myself or appreciate something about MyBiggestComplaint, some people think that what I am and was arguing originally should never be argued; am I being expected to be 100% critical and not doubtful at all. Should I be criticizing MyBiggestComplaints on all levels and everything possible, since it seems that doing or saying anything nice is taken out of proportion without any doubt, even though my own initial post sends a lot of doubt to anyone who reads it because I start the post itself by saying clearly that I am questioning a lot of things and that I may be wrong. I like questioning things before assuming; that is why my entire assumptions are based on questions. Like I said before, questions are better than assumptions. [...]
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