Question: Do you like the idea of using online dating services?
This should be a very fun question to ask yourself, since it may be one of the most important things to consider in your life. Do you like meeting people through online dating services?
Different online dating services tend to cater to different people and provide different results
Online dating services like Match, eHarmony, LavaLife, True, FriendFinder and Yahoo Personals allow you to meet new people to have relationships with. Some services like Yahoo Personals are free, while services like True cost money. Some services can have you up and searching for a supposed soulmate within 5 minutes by answering less than 10 questions. Other services, like eHarmony, make you answer around 436 questions before you can be shown any results.
Some people get good results using such services, finding the right person to date or become engaged to. Some other people do not get any results with such services, since the concept of relationships is really hard in the offline world, and the online nature of approaching dating makes it only more complicated for many people. For many people, simply looking at a picture does not match the level of observation one can make by actually observing a person in the offline world.
Do you like the idea of using online dating services?
Do you think it is a good idea to use online dating services to meet new people? Or do you prefer meeting new people through mediums other than those offered by online dating services?
Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading. 
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( July 30th, 2007 at 10:05 am )
Hi. I Know I’ve been MIA lately, and haven’t commented in forever, but I have been reading. And meaning to comment on just about every entry; just haven’t gotten to it yet. But I have to comment on this one. right now.
When the eHarmony commercials were still relatively new, the thing my bf and I always noticed was how their “perfect matches” never featured any interracial couples. They do show couples of different ethnic races; they’re just paired with each other. And they’re all heterosexual.
I’ve never tried out the service myself, but a co-worker has, and this is what she told me:
Just had to share.
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( July 31st, 2007 at 1:07 am )
They won’t match if “woman makes more money than the man”? Really? And of course, all other discriminations are just as absurd.
Personally, I’ve never used those dating services, and never will, and I don’t know anyone personally who did use them.
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( August 2nd, 2007 at 12:49 pm )
based on the list, my guess is that they also wouldn’t match different religions.
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( August 3rd, 2007 at 3:44 pm )
I think I might consider it if I was single - a very good friend of mine met the person who seems to be the love of her life through and online dating service - they’re not married and have a little baby. I think it probably depends on what kind of service you join though - a service for people looking for, er, ’short-term’ relationships or one for people looking for a longer thing. And whether people are honest or not in their description.
The people I know who’ve used them have had generally positive experiences, though, whether or not they’ve met a long-term partner.
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( August 3rd, 2007 at 5:55 pm )
I think that sometimes dating services are not OK, people these day’s pretend for something they are not, and there is too many se*ual predators
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( August 10th, 2007 at 5:29 am )
dating sites are okey to expand your connection with your opposite sex but it doesnt show your security.As commented above its more of those se*ual predators who find their prey.1 Good Advice to All : Dont reveal yourself completely to unknown person such as Your address or anything where you can be contacted directly expect you messenger.Thats the most safest side.
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( August 10th, 2007 at 4:48 pm )
[Sorry for the late response everyone. I have been meaning to think about this more, and thus took some more time before commenting back].
Stacee, really great and nice to hear from you again!
I saw that you updated your blog with entries too, so I have to catch up. 
Thanks for commenting on this, and thanks for reading all this time.
Those are some very good observation. And you are correct: eHarmony is indeed not all right with many of the things you mentioned, including same sex dating and marriage. Time wrote an article titled “Is eHarmony Biased Against Gays?” to talk about one of the very points you mentioned.
So if what you say is true, eHarmony prefers women to be shorter and younger than men. I wonder if eHarmony is only run by men executives, or if it has women executives, if the above is the case, who are ok with the above scenario.
Also, the “different races” point is alarming. Are we still living in a world where one race things they are better than the other? Heh, woman making more money than man not being acceptable: do people still have the mentality that men are actually superior to women in every factor? The different religions clause is also very illogical, unless the logic is based on stereotypes and discrimination against others.
I would love to see more coverage on the above points.
I knew about the anti-gay issue, but I did not know about any of the other things you mentioned. Thanks for sharing Stacee! Off-topic: I moved from Berkeley, and I really look forward to moving back there or around there in the future.
I am a bit far from the BART [subway for those who do not know], so I have to drive more again. I like BART for some reason.
inspirationbit, thanks for commenting. And yes, isn’t the above just funny? People surviving and making money, and still increasing their popularity on some levels. It can be even more interesting to realize that such services still have the backing of a lot of people, some or many of whom may have no problems with the 5 points Stacee listed above.
Do you have some similar services in Canada with similar issues?
Ally, thanks for coming. Long time no see!
I am really glad to hear from you. I read about the bees once in a while [it has been a little while I think], and am hoping to comment one day. =P
You have a good point: it all depends on what kind of service one joins. When you say “positive experiences“, do you mean eHarmony and the above mentioned service, or online dating services in general?
I think people not being honest in their descriptions is a virus that is affecting online sites and social networking sites too, unfortunately.
BONTB, thanks for weighing in on this.
I think you are right, many people pretend to be things they are not [like Ally mentioned above, regarding honesty], and there are many predators online looking for things that unsuspecting people on those services are not.
In your view, if there were no sexual predators and people did not pretend to be what they really were not, would dating services be ok for everyone to use? Would the points that Stacee listed above affect your use of any of the services?
drvenom, thanks for commenting.
That is indeed good advice, to talk about some relevant things and to keep some unrelated things private, in order to be both open and cautious if possible.
Also, you mentioned opposite sex: what do you think of dating services if a man or a woman are looking to date or find someone of the same sex online?
Thanks again everyone.
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( December 27th, 2007 at 10:57 am )
They are what they are. I think you get out of them what you put in, some people have better luck than others.
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( January 5th, 2008 at 5:43 am )
Well actually e harmony will match you with someone of a different race. I was on the site for a short while and was matched with people of other races. However I didn’t stay on the site very long. Eharmony’s matching factors began to feel like walls and restrictions. Communicating just had too many forms and steps before I could get to know who I was communicating with.
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( January 20th, 2008 at 11:53 pm )
Yes i think it is good way for meet people
Ha Ha actually i got my girlfriends in hi5
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( January 21st, 2008 at 9:32 pm )
In the past meeting people in real life was generally more accepted than meeting people online. If you would have asked me 10 years ago whether or not I would join an online dating service, and my answer would have been an emphatic “NO”. Over the past 10 years, online dating services have come of age and now (at least in my opinion) society in general is more accepting of them and as such more people have joined an online dating service now than ever. In fact, the industry has gotten so successfull that tons of “niche” online dating sites have sprung up seemingly overnight. Jdate.com, Orange County Singles, Adultfriendfinder and so on and so forth.
I think that while there are still some drawbacks to meeting people online, for the most part it is a quick and easy way to meet a bunch of people, then weed out the ones you like from the ones you don’t like and then you will have yourself 2 or 3 potential matches that you will most likely wind up dating (if even for one night lol).
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( February 1st, 2008 at 10:49 am )
Lots of couples and singles use adult dating and swingers websites. Its now very popular. My wife and I are swingers and we enjoy using these sites, especially http://saucyads.com
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( May 5th, 2008 at 12:15 pm )
Hi, very interesting blog, I enjoyed reading your content very much.
I am the owner of a small singles/ dating network. and am always looking for
new and interesting content for my members. with your permission, i would like to
add your blog link to my recommended reading area, and occasionally include some (credited)
quotes from your blog in our own articles.
Loki’s Lounge
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( July 26th, 2008 at 12:52 pm )
Thanks for waiting everyone.
That Single Guy, thanks for the comment. Have you had online relationships so far? What has your experience been with them?
postergirl, thanks for the comment, and thanks for updating on the different-race-match existence on the site now. Have you tried other online dating services yet?
How to date, thanks for sharing. So do you consider your situation a success story of online dating/meeting?
Karenk, thanks for commenting too. Do you work for “Orange County Singles” service?
Also, while it is true that the society is becoming more accepting of online dating services, does that mean the online dating services have become good ideas or that you should like them?
Swingers couples, thanks for the comment and for sharing that information. Would it be possible for you to share if going through such sites helps your relationship?
Loki’s Lounge, thanks for the comment too. I have e-mailed you about this already I think. Sure, you can include credited quotes on your site from here.
How is your network doing so far?
Thanks again everyone.
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( July 27th, 2008 at 7:31 am )
Hey thanks for the post. If you are a teenager you may like to try mylol which is specifically for teens.
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( August 28th, 2008 at 10:57 pm )
Originally I was against using dating websites and any social networking sites. But eventually got used to the Idea. It took some time. Been using http://www.lovebyday.com quite regularly now.
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( September 3rd, 2008 at 12:40 am )
Gone is the stigma that followed anyone who joined an online dating and singles site. Finding love on the internet is very common now. Ill bet most reading this blog will know someone that has used online dating.
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( September 10th, 2008 at 5:00 pm )
Personally, I’ve had more luck with online dating services than I have in the “real” world. I think there are a lot of benefits to using online services. For one, it’s easier to begin communication. Why? Because you don’t have to be at the same place at the same time (i.e. A bar or coffee shop). You can simply say hello via email and the person will get that email whenever they are able to come online. That’s one huge plus, but I think there are many.
Even simply corresponding. With online sites, you don’t have to “nail” the first impression, you can easily get a reprieve. I could go on and on, but I just wanted to mention a few and share my opinion.
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( November 13th, 2008 at 6:11 pm )
Hi, sorry for such a late reply, The site is holding it’s own. around 400 “real” members now. I could be doing alot better, but i refuse to play googles seo games. and i am always on the look out for spammers and scammers, so spend alot of time deleting suspect members. we recently installed a video chat room, and upgraded the forums.(wich has been a great success) so if anybody here is looking for a fun place to meet new people, without being harassed by scam artists or spammers, come check us out ! It is 100% free. soon as you sign up, you get instant access to the chat rooms, then when you upload a picture to your profile, you get a “lifetime gold” upgrade. (photo must be approved by admin, helps us to weed out the scammers)
Loki’s Lounge 100% Free online dating
Also, i am currently seeking a few well versed people to publish a bi-weekly dating column on my site. (tips, humor, hot spots, ect..) if your interested, stop by and use the feedback link to contact me.
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( November 29th, 2008 at 10:19 am )
Bes, this is Karen.
sorry been AFK for a while here….
No, I do not work for “OC Singles”, I just know of several hotspots out here that you are sure to find singles.
In “real life”, I am a 30 year old single mother of 2. My bastard ex husband left me for his 20 year old
secretary.
As for your question regarding the online dating services, my views on online dating services can be compared
to a computer. Life before the personal home computer forced almost all of us to do extra work. (pay our
bills via normal mail, have to goto the library to get information, etc). Once the PC came along, life was so
much easier in some regards. The same goes for online dating. Before online dating services, there were
only a few ways to meet singles:
1. Bar
2. Work
3. Friends
4. Hoping that the hot blonde in the corvette rear-ends your car so you can get her phone number.
With the advent of online dating, the dating pool is considerably bigger than it was just a few short
years ago. Take advantage of the opportunities, but at the same time, keep an open mind and open
ears. The same creeps that frequent the bars have now learned how to use a computer and you
need to always keep your personal safety in mind when using an online dating site. Another great
feature of the online dating sites is that some of them offer a discount for monthly membership.
eharmony promotional code are
a great way to save money on the more expensive online dating sites out there.
Whatever route you chose, I wish you the best of luck !!
- Karen
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( December 18th, 2008 at 1:47 pm )
Personally I find all those online personals sites lame, except for eharmony (idea wize I guess), as I like their basic idea of matching but I don’t know if it actually works as they advertise it to.
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( December 28th, 2008 at 2:24 pm )
Online dating for marriage - yes,
for friends - yes,
for sex partner - no, no and never .
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( January 28th, 2009 at 6:01 am )
Online dating is a great way to meet some one! Is it perfect? No. No human interaction is. But it opens up a huge new pool of people to whom you wouldn’t have access otherwise. It is also a godsend for people who are not flirty and outgoing, giving you a chance to form your words in writing. Security is not really an issue. 99.9% of the people online are nice and friendly. If you have your first date in a coffee shop or some other neutral public place, that protects you against the other 0.1%
For the people complaining about eHarmony’s policies, I’d say that the whole point of the site is to have a computer match you. The computer does so based on probability and the fact is (whether it is logical or not) that most women what to go out with a man taller than them, etc. However, that’s not how it works at every online dating site.
The key to successful online dating is to choose the site that best fits you and what you are looking for. Maybe in your case that’s eHarmony. Maybe it isn’t. There’s a good guide to selecting the right site here:
The Best Online Dating Sites Compared
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( March 7th, 2009 at 4:54 am )
Online dating saves your pocket than the normal dating and also it increases love and affection which creates a curious tendency to meet the other soon.
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( March 17th, 2009 at 3:54 am )
Online dating can be exciting as you’ll be able to meet someone whom you think is your match or compatible with based from the descriptions and answers you provide on the website. I know there are those who luckily succeed in finding their true love and some who failed. Nevertheless, it’s still the same as in the real world that your relationship may work or may fail.
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( March 17th, 2009 at 4:20 am )
I like using online dating services because it saves time. Especially if your job doesn’t let you have much time for going clubbing or meeting during leisure time activities.
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( May 3rd, 2009 at 11:18 am )
1 in 3 people in the UK now use online dating, so the question is not does it work, but which one do you choose. Largely speaking if something seems to good to be true it probably is. Work with a site that inspires your personal interests i.e slick design or attitude etc.
Bear in mind that there are such things as “white label sites “which ruin the whole concept as they share each others data to make money, and have hords of people employed to talk to you to waste your time. So if a site doesnt look very expensive or asks you for lots of things first ie a million clicks and information, dont bother.
That said the model does work in most cases of “decent services” that arent cheesy or make promises which seem unrealistic, such as “meet 80 women now in your road who just happen to want sex tonight!”
In the advent of convergence using online dating can actually be more of an intellectual and 2.0 style courting method.
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Twitter: @tanay253 :
( May 20th, 2009 at 8:46 am )
After joining a dating site suitable to your requirement and being in touch with your loved one ,look for these signs to see whether you have found the true love of your life:
1. You feel very comfortable with one another, as if you have known each other longer than you actually have.
2. You tend to agree with one another on most issues, and there is a feeling of warm familiarity surrounding your personal belief systems, values, philosophies and life goals.
3. You instinctively consider each other as equals and no one person does more sacrificing to be with the other.
4. You are very much involved in one another’s daily affairs and conversations between the two of you are generally mentally stimulating and lively.
5. You joke around with each other a lot, and your relationship is spontaneous and light, adding a happy and friendly boost to your interactions.
6. You nurture each other with specialized attention, mutual appreciation, acceptance, admiration and playfulness; these keep the romance alive.
7. You enjoy spending plenty of quite time together in homely surroundings giving true meaning to the words feeling “at home” with one another.
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( June 8th, 2009 at 12:33 am )
I like Online dating Ideas. I like mostly Orkut.
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