5 things people assume about others online
[This post was originally supposed to go online yesterday, but it didn't. I am not sure why; I apologize for the 3 hour-delay.]
The same way people assume things about you and other people in the offline world, many people assume things about you and others in the online world. On the internet, there can be many chances of misunderstanding things. While one of the best things to do online is to question things before assuming something, many people simply prefer assuming and stereotyping things instead of finding out the reality.
Following is a list of 5 normal things that I notice people assuming about others online on a regular basis.
5 Things People Assume About Others Online
- Not talking about a job means you have no job
Many people assume that if someone does not talk much about their offline job, they do not have a job, or they do not have a good job. These people probably cannot understand the fact, easily, that sometimes people simply do not want to talk about something in their personal life as it may be boring, or it may be personal and they may not want to share it with people who are not genuinely interested in knowing.
I personally get to hear this every other day, since I do not talk about my offline work activities, or anything similar, on my site here or with others that much. Instead of asking, people assume things about my job. I get over 50 calls every day alone related to “work” that I do not get paid for, and I have to meet around 10 people every 2 days or so, directly, in private meetings, to do things related to work, round the clock; sometimes I have to meet people at 3 AM. That is why I am always finding it funny when some people do not ask me about my activities, but simply assume that I do not do anything other than to blog on this site and eat chocolate.
- Never talking about your offline life means you have no offline life
Some people assume that if you do not push your offline personal life into the online world, you do not have an offline life. That is why if you remain quiet in a conversation or try to talk about something, people will immediately assume things about you.
I personally, rarely talk about offline life online, though if someone asks for it, I may answer in detail depending on the person and the situation. However, people will assume things like my relationships, hobbies, views, religion, sexual preference, etc. on an almost constant basis, because I do not talk about my personal life out of the blue in every chat window that can be opened.
- The more aggressive you are, the more right you are
This one is a classic. Many people will assume that if they are aggressive about something, they will appear to be right in almost any argument. It is as if the art of being pushy and aggressive and on the offensive becomes more important than the point being argued.
I see arguments online regularly, where someone will be very aggressive in questioning something, and they will assume that just because they are aggressive means that they will be able to make the other person look bad. Usually, if one is paying attention, it seems that acting aggressive has nothing to do with being rational or logical. Some times people get aggressive even while asking a question, which makes me wonder: “if this person is so tense while simply asking a question through text and over a topic this person does not care about, how easy will it be to control and affect this person’s moods in real life?“
- The act of acting weird will go unnoticed
Some people think that since one can hide in the online world, one can do weird things and go unnoticed. This includes copying others, acting weird like blocking others on instant messengers simply because one feels jealous, one talks to someone else only to ask for advice, etc.
I think it is very easy to both hide and get noticed in the online world. Noticing someone copying ideas can be tricky, but it does not go unnoticed. I notice people copying my writing and other styles all the time, and I also see people taking ideas from the comments they receive and posting them as their own on a regular basis too. These people basically assume that other people will not care in the online world. On the contrary, people do care a lot in the online world if they feel they are being cheated.
- Inquiring about something means your knowledge is limited
Many people think that if you ask questions, you do not know anything about some topic. When a person tells me about a feed reader or some new technology, I listen attentively and I ask questions. That act of asking questions makes many people assume that I do not know anything about the thing I am asking about. I personally have a character where I will ask questions even about things I know, since I want to know more and I want to hear about things from other people’s perspectives a lot.
Sure, when you ask a question, you may not know something about the element that is being asked in the question, but you may know generally about that something. For example, I have rarely been talking about making money online as of today, but I have made a lot of money online through online businesses in the past. That is why it is funny when people approach me and start assuming that I do not know how to make money online, instead of asking me about it. I am guessing this is one of those things you need to brag about so more people can know, including potential employers.
So there you have it. That is a list of 5 random things that many people assume about others online. Can you think of some other things that people assume? Can you relate to something here, or do you have any opinion about any of these points or about assumptions in general?
Thank you for reading. 
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( July 6th, 2007 at 7:31 am )
I agree with the 5 things people assume online. For me, though, I do not assume that when somebody doesn’t talk about their job, that they don’t have a job. That was something I’ve never thought of.
Hmm, I bet you wrote one of those things(I won’t mention which one) because of me, huh?
( July 6th, 2007 at 11:58 pm )
About aggressiveness, I think it’s starting to really turn people off these days. I’m in sales, and I find the soft, unassuming approach works so much better with people (probably because it’s sincere). People open themselves up when you aren’t threatening to them.
( July 7th, 2007 at 10:43 am )
I tend to assume that people who come across very aggressively in comments are usually either poor communicators, i.e. they either don’t know that what they have said is very aggressive or don’t have the skills to properly frame an argument, or are simply not smart enough to see the other side of the story.
Of course there are other options but I’ve yet to see someone who was particularly aggressive in comments provide a well thought out response to any follow ups, or show any understanding that there is a world outside their own, usually very limited, experiences.
Good examples of all of these can be seen whenever anyone criticises OS X, Linux, or indeed Windows.
I have also found that people are very quick to assume they know what you are saying and correct you. One example from my own experience: I included a quote in a comment but admitted I didn’t know who had said it. The next comment was from someone telling me that I had meant to quote a particular person and that I had gotten the quote wrong. They then included that quote, which was the polar opposite of what my quote actually said, and of the point that I was making.
Of course I assumed a lot about that person from that response.
( July 8th, 2007 at 12:20 pm )
Simple Precious, that’s interesting; thanks for sharing. That’s a good thing that you do not assume things about people’s jobs. How about other things, like assuming levels of interaction, friendship or other related things, where someone may want to be good friends but someone may be assuming things as usual and treating everyone as an online contact instead of a friend? Or how about situations where someone you know far away, like in another city, state, country, or even continent, may get close, use and copy things from you only when they need you, then they become busy or move on, until they need something again, or until they find a replacement person to ask for help from? Can we assume things about such people?
Also, hmmm, which point are you referring to, that you think I wrote because of you? You can e-mail or pm me the point also.
Mark@CreditCards, thanks for your comment and for coming here. It seems that in the online world, an increasing number of people are still, in one form or another, aiming at customers that do not disagree with them right away, and thus many people become aggressive when things do not go their way instantly.
People generally do react and feel better when they are not being forced or coerced into making some kind of a decision. By the way, are you in sales in a credit card company? Do you approach customers and try to sell them credit card accounts?
Andrew, thanks for the comment and the examples; I really appreciate it. I think I have to write a post talking about some posts where commentors become aggressive simply because of the way they believe ideas and how they do not appreciate others.
I see a lot about what you mention about OS X, Linux and Windows on places like BetaNews, in some software or a story reviews section; someone will defend FireFox or IE very aggressively by insulting anyone who questions anything or points out something that may be bad.
Thanks for sharing the example about someone assuming things through your quoted comment. I am guessing majority of the people simply want to argue and never admit anything, and thus when they think they may be right, they simply go on the offensive, not knowing how to present things in the online world. I wonder how good such people are at treating and presenting things in the offline world, both in business and non-business situations.
Do you think that you assuming some things about that person. from the response he/she gave to your quoted comment. could be justified because you assumed things related to the way they reacted and behaved around your comment?
Thanks again.
( July 8th, 2007 at 3:59 pm )
Suddenly I am feeling very self-conscious about eating chocolate while reading this.
( July 9th, 2007 at 4:39 pm )
Thanks Bloggrrl. :), that’s awesome. To add more to that feeling, here you go:
( July 10th, 2007 at 10:20 pm )
Bes, I think that, just like the real world, people often spend their time thinking about what they want to write instead of taking on board other people’s comments. They are often quick to want to show that they are knowledgeable or clever and sometimes jump the gun.
That may be what happened in my example.
My assumption however was that this person thought he was smarter than he was.
( July 12th, 2007 at 12:33 am )
Thanks for the follow-up clarification Andrew. Good point; many people are usually not that considerate of other people’s views, and simply want to express what they have to say without factoring in other things too.
Thanks again; that helps add more value to your case example. Now if only we could have some series or a book dedicated to this topic, more people, including myself, could learn more on how to pinpoint and avoid such a behavior.