Hmmm, here I am. Really hungry. Hunger is a very good thing. It makes you appreciate the food you usually call “sucky-veggy.” It also makes you appreciate the feeling you have when you are not in a hurry and have a lot of time to joke around in a comment. When you’re dying to eat a dead animal, you don’t feel like playing around with comments. You just want to get them done with. If your concept of a comment is itself about being nice and being funny or informative, you’ll avoid beating around the bush and instead will actually write something that probably won’t be edited by you repeatedly. Since your hunger will prevent you from playing around too much, you probably wouldn’t need to edit a comment even if it needed an edit. That’s what I’m going to do from now on, I think. I’ll post comments when I’m hungry in addition to my regular schedule, which is to post comments whenever I’m not having a doctor touch me. Good schedule, no?

There are many advantages to this retarded plan. In the following list, I present to you five weird benefits that I can think up of at the moment. And you should know, thinking is a very hard thing to do when you’re starving.

1. You won’t waste time writing comments. Write a comment and click the post button. You have better things to waste time on, like figuring out whether to buy a dead chicken from a restaurant or to kill one yourself. Can you think up of any other time when you post over 50 comments in less than 15 minutes, and all those comments have something useful in them? I can’t.
2. You’ll probably post an extreme version of whatever you want to post when you’re starving. If you want to yell, you’ll yell nicely and very effectively. If you want to express love, you’ll express love in a direct manner. If you want to express a feeling and hide it at the same time, you’ll be so vague, your food will also taste feel tasteless. Awesome, no?
3. Any comment you post out of formality will be very formal. This point is very important, as the exact opposite is true also. If you post a comment just to fulfil the obligation of posting a comment, you’ll do a very good job. If you post a comment to a good friend to express something, you’ll express it honestly and nicely. When you’re hungry, you tend to lie and tell the truth when you aren’t supposed to.
4. When you associate the very needs of life with technology, you’ll automatically respect technology more. Next time, the moment you feel hungry, you’ll want to post comments all around the internet. If you don’t have access to a computer, you’ll probably want to write small notes of comments for people who’re passing by you. Make sure you give the notes to these people, or else your hunger will result in you eating those very notes.
5. Gradually, over time, your comment-posting schedule will start varying, yet depend on a fixed rule at the same time. That won’t be the case unless you starve everyday at the same exact time, which is very creepy, and probably retarded too. Imagine basing your commenting schedule on something you experience everyday, unless you’re not a starving student and always have something other than dirt dropping from your mouth. Having a schedule, like the time when you get hungry, is a perfect schedule for posting comments.

As you can see, this post was written while the death angle that stabs violently because of starvation was lurking around me. I like food. And I love missing it too. Now I must run and find something to bite on.