Relationships. Relationships. And more relationships. You probably experience different kinds of relationships every single day, or maybe every other month. You may like someone, and you may hate someone. Someone may like you, and someone may hate you. A relationship could be a professional one, or it could be an unprofessional one. It could be stereotypically stereotypical as a professional and unprofessional relationship, and it could be a combination of everything and be unstereotypical. In this article I would like to focus a bit on people who are desperate to be in any relationship, so desperate that their entire focus is to be in a relationship instead of on the other person.

In relationships, regardless of their nature, you may feel lonely or you may feel the exact opposite of loneliness, among many other things. The first part of my article series about bad relationship trends titled "Bad trends that hurt relationships – Part 1" focused, among other things, on some specific trends that hurt existing, new and potential relationships. The 12 points below focus briefly on signs, or traits, that may classify you as being desperate in and for a relationship, which could be the main driving force behind a person’s interest in being in any relationship.

I have been noticing some recurring trends of desperation for a while in different people I have met in person and online for a long time now. I decided to collect my thoughts and list 12 of the many basic signs of desperate-traits that define and lead the way for bigger characteristics in such people.

12 brief signs you are obsessively desperate for any relationship

Following are 12 different signs of desperate traits in different relationships. With these qualities, there is a tendency that someone may be desperate for a relationship simply because without a relationship, they feel unhappy. Why is it a scary idea to feel unhappy without being in a relationship? If you get into a relationship solely to be in  a relationship, without wanting to be with the other person based only on their qualities and instead solely wanting to act on your desperation, you are wasting the other person’s time and hurting their feelings from the start, and already setting up a problem for them and yourself, regardless of that other persons’ willingness to be interested in you for a relationship-consideration.

The following 12 signs are of a desperate person who wants to be in a desperate relationship with someone else, whether it is a boy/girlfriend relationship or a regular non-boy-girlfriend relationship or something else, including formal non-close relationships. The person I am referring to is someone who has any of the below qualities and is not willing to think about them, address them, realize them or even acknowledge the possibility of their existence. Such a person is what makes such signs a very scary trait among such people. As with everything I say, please realize that each and every trait below is also a good thing and has exceptions, so avoid going around breaking up or throwing ice cream at people simply because you notice something below in them¹.

1. Ignoring the other person’s bad behavior repeatedly in order to hold on to the relationship
2. Assuming that all problems are normal in all relationships
3. Aiming for next steps like a marriage or an engagement, or a step up in a relationship, as the solution to existing relationship problems
4. Always claiming responsibility for the other person’s mistakes
5. Not accepting responsibility for existing relationship problems on a usual basis
6. Lying about previous experiences and current life in order to get attention through sympathy or glorification from others
7. Wanting more things immediately in relationships to happen without any reason, action or intention that is considerate to the other person also 
8. Criticizing secretly in front of others the other person and the relationship, yet not sharing those critical points with the person in question directly and maintaining the relationship with them
9. Sharing everything immediately for the sole reason of overwhelming the other person’s sympathetic feelings through confusion or something similar
10. Acting aggressively, angry or defensive as a reaction if the other person does not portray the same feelings towards the relationship or the possibility of a relationship that the desperate person has been showing
11. Getting into a relationship solely to get married or have kids or find someone to depend on, instead of getting into a relationship to be with that other specific person
12. Acting desperate and prideful at the same time, resulting in basing respect of other people solely on the criteria of whether or not others do something for you instead of you acting modest, humble, nice and doing something for for the other person, and at the same time, acting stupidly mean as a way to hold on to stupid self-pride

The above is a brief summarized list of traits that can be strong indications of someone who is desperate for a relationship. Such people are usually not looking for a relationship to be with someone. They are looking for a relationship to be in a relationship, thus the focus is not on the other person at all but on the relationship. Such people are the ones that usually end up blaming all bad things on the other person in case things do not go in their direction².

Being desperate can be a very bad thing when your relationship exists solely because of the above points

Wanting to be in a relationship can be an extremely good thing. However, seeking random people and jumping onto the bandwagon, even if you do not like that person, is a very desperate act of getting into the "I’m in a relationship" mode, which is very annoying and creepy in my view. This list can help you figure out whether or not the people who are in a relationship with you may be desperate, and how you can try to help them or that desperate trait so that the relationship can exist based on the connection between you and the other person, and not based on the feeling of desperation. Relationships based on being desperate are usually why many people move on from one person to another faster than rabbits move around a garden eating a grass, and that is also one of the reasons why such people usually tend to criticize and badmouth many or all of the other people they already know or interact with just to try to impress new people.

The list can can also help you figure out whether or not you yourself are desperate. Whether or not you wish to realize or acknowledge such qualities in your own character is your own life choice: at the end of this post, you will still be the person who has control over your life.

Being desperate in itself is not a bad quality. Being desperate for something can be a bad quality if it intervenes with things which should have elements other than the feeling of desperation to be the driving force and reason behind and for them. You may act too needy in a relationship, and you may act too distant depending on how you view your own or someone else’s desperation traits.

What do you think of these 12 points? Do you think the above points can signify a desperate quality, or have you noticed the above qualities in yourself or others?

What do you think of the above? Do you think any of the other points are something you have seen in others or in yourself? Do you think any of the other traits can be identified easily or through some analysis?

Thank you for reading. :)

1. Unless it’s chocolate ice cream, which the other person may thank you for [↩]
2. I may try to expand on the above points and a few other things soon in a more detailed article covering each point with examples. [↩]

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