Hello everyone. Today I would like to briefly explore the possibility of a preemptive world. Preemptive action, in its simplest form, is an action taken before the existence of the actual need for the commitment of such an action.

An example of a preemptive strike

Instead of giving you the typical war example, let me give you a different example. Imagine you are going somewhere with a cup of hot water in your hand. I accidentally bump into you and cause you to spill the hot water on your clothes. Now, I immediately slap you after that. You look at me very mad and confused, either slapping me back or asking “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING &*(^%$ @#$%^&?” to which I say “I slapped you because you were going to slap me.” My action, in such a case, was preemptive. I slapped even before you slapped me or showed signs that you were going to slap me¹.

Now keep in mind that if you would have slapped me first, I could have apologized or done something else, instead of slapping you back. For example, if you slapped me first as a result of me causing you to spill something on your clothes, I could have immediately run away screaming “Wooohooo!! I have a topic for my site!” while you chase me. Thus, a preemptive action is not an action that is the only solution to something that can happen. It is an action that the preemptive person or entity chooses to take.

The Preemptive Initiative

What I propose is that we try some preemptive things, listed below, in our lives. Why can we not take an action before there is even a need for such action in any form or manner? Whether I am serious or joking or being myself, you decide. Life would be completely different in many perspective if we start taking actions, including the act of not doing anything, before there is a need for such actions. The preemptive points listed below will help you get started.

The Golden Preemptive Rule

There is only one rule for Preemptive Actions Initiative: forget every other rule and focus only on the action itself. The below preemptive actions are being committed solely and only because of the very nature of each specific preemptive action itself. There is no other information or reason for which these actions take place. This very article is intended to let you know both the fun things that can result from preemptive actions, and the horrible things too. Hopefully by the end of this article, you will realize a bit more than before as to how preemptive actions and assumptions affect our life in different manners.

12 random & interesting Preemptive Actions

While some of the following may look like pranks², imagine making these part of your life and also imagine accepting the fact that others do the below things to you daily. Imagine that your life is empty without this, and that anyone telling you otherwise would only make you mad. How then will you live your life? Will you be able to realize when you are analyzing something and when you are assuming something?

Here we go:

1. File for divorce before you get married
   Found the girl or guy of your dreams? Take them to divorce court before you even get married. If they ask why you would want to do such a thing, tell them they were going to cheat on you, take your money, or do something else to hurt you. If they ask for proof, tell them your proof is your ability to preemptively analyze preemptive things. See how they react. Even if you get married after that, they may want to divorce you.
2. Break up before you start a relationship
   Similar to the divorce point, but for people not having marriage in sight. Walk up to the guy or the girl you want to ask out, and say “I want to break up with you.” Walk away, and let the gossips start. Launch a preemptive gossip yourself against the gossipers.
3. Sell the car before you buy it
   Go to the car dealership, test drive the car and put the car for sale on eBay or Craigslist while sitting in the salesperson’s office that same day, before you even sign any papers or pay for the car. When the buyer comes, take their money, leave and have the salesperson deal with the situation and that buyer.
4. Run from the cops before they have any reason to run after you
   See a cop and run. When they chase you, catch you and ask why you ran, say “I may end up doing something wrong in the future, which is why I was running since you may catch me then.” Wait a few hours while they search you, your house, your car, or anything else you own, check your background and your DNA and your blood and your pockets, before they scratch their heads in confusion((Please note: They might recommend or order you to go through a psych test to see if you are crazy or not.)). Be prepared to be faced with an authority that does not believe in your preemptive beliefs. If the cops ask you again “Why did you run?” Ask them back “Why did you run after me? You also preemptively though you would catch me before you knew I did anything wrong!
5. Apologize for what you did before you do the thing you apologize for
   Walk up to a stranger and say “Sorry man for stealing your money“, and walk away. Keep looking back to see how the stranger looks at you, or if the stranger comes after you to slap you.
6. Return a call before you get the call
   Call all your friends and say “Hey, I am returning your call. Wassup?” When they say “I didn’t call you…” Say “I know. I realized that there is a possibility that you were going to call me, I was going to be away from the phone and thus I was going to miss your phone call. That is why I am returning your call before you even called me. Wassup? Tell me quickly, I don’t have much time.” See their reaction and make a note of it in your friendship diary. See how many friends start calling you fewer times after that.
7. Tell people you are closing your website, before you open your website
   I want to announce that I am closing my shoe website. It has been a very hard decision, and I know a lot of you would have been disappointed had it actually existed, but I have been forced to take this action since I knew the website would have consumed a lot of my time. On top of that, I do not know if the website was going to sell shoes or talk about shoes or something else. Heck, I do not even know the name of my shoe website or what the domain name url would be. Sorry all, and I hope none of you cry because you miss my shoe website. May my shoe website live in your hearts forever, as it surely lives in mine!
8. Quit a job before getting that job
   Walk into the corporate office of any large company and ask the first employee you see what the proper procedure is for someone who wants to quit a job that they have not yet even gotten the offer for. After that person looks at you for a while, slap them. When you get arrested, refer to my above example and say you exercised your right to preemptive strike as you knew they were going to slap you for asking a weird question.
9. Ask for a refund for your computer before you buy that computer
   Walk into Best Buy and request a refund for your computer. When the sales associate asks you for the item and the receipt, say “I haven’t bought the computer yet.” See whether or not you can end up making the sales associate call for the manager. Say the same thing to the manager and in the end, when you have had enough, say “Ok, I guess you do not respect my preemptive refund rights.” See the reaction.
10. Tell the bus driver “Thanks for the ride” before you get on the bus
    Stop the bus. When the door opens, look at the driver, thank him/her for the ride and walk away. See what happens then. Make sure you have medical insurance; preemptively buying medical insurance is a good thing.
11. Thank the guests for the great party and close the door before the guests even come into your house for the party
    This one is interesting. Invite guests to a party. When they show up at the door, open the door, thank them for coming and immediately say “It was a nice party, bye” and close the door, without letting them in. See what happens, and see if they ring the door bell to ask what is going on.
12. Thank and pay for the food at the restaurant and leave before ordering the food
    Walk into a restaurant and ask for your bill. When the cashier or waiter asks what you ordered or who served you, say “I haven’t ordered yet.” Everything that follows will test your preemptive initiative oath: if you laugh and simply walk out, you were only a prankster playing a prank. If you actually end up paying the money and believe this should happen daily to others and to you, you are preemptively initiating the preemptive initiative.

The above are some interesting preemptive actions that can add fun and frolics into your life. Be careful: not realizing what is the real message in this article can result in a lot of slapping and beating by cops and other people.

Do you support the preemptive initiative?

What do you think about the above points? If you realistically did any of the above, would you feel happy? Would you feel sad? Would you feel stupid? Would you not feel anything? Do you think preemptive actions can result in anything good or anything bad? Do you think such a thinking can improve or worsen your life? Can you think of any other actions, ideas or things that can hint at a preemptive action?

Thank you for reading. I will stop here and will go eat now, since I may become hungry soon.

1. In real life, I would probably slap myself a few times if I cause you to spill something over yourself [↩]
2. Beware: I support pranksters being pursued to be brought to justice [↩]