The day Bes and a Squirrel aimed for the same nut
Bes was driving back home from FedEx Kinko’s after faxing some papers to some institutions. Bes was planning a really nice topic to write for this site tonight. About a mile away from the house, Bes saw a small object fall from an upcoming tree. The object bounced on the car below the tree and ended up near the middle of the street. Bes saw an opportunity. Bes wanted to speed up a bit and crush the nut that had just fallen off the tree. In the middle of the sudden weird excitement that surrounded the atmosphere, Bes did not realize that there was a great force nearby that was also rushing towards the same nut.
Bes checked around, and noticed no cars nearby. Bes started driving on lane dividers, making sure the white lane divider lines were under the car. Bes wanted to crush the nut. No, let me rephrase that. Bes wanted to annihilate the nut for reasons even Bes did not understand. It was just a feeling that said “do it.” Bes sped the car a bit, making sure no pedestrians were in sight and that once the nut was crushed, Bes could resume normal driving easily and without any issues. Everything was under control until Bes noticed something moving in the tree from where the nut had fallen.
What was that moving thing?!?!
Bes was less than 5 seconds away from the nut when another object came down from the tree onto the car, and then jumped on the road, running towards the nut. It was a squirrel. “0_0” was the exact expression on Bes’s face, with Bes’s eyes squinting so hard as if wanting to avoid looking directly at the sun from a close distance. Let me repeat that. Bes’s face looked like:
0_0 with squinted eyes
The brakes got pushed as hard as they could. It was machine crying out loud to stop from angering a squirrel, which would otherwise be crushed to death. The machine knew it could simply run over the small creature and get away with it, but no, something inside the car felt fear. There was some doubt about the whole scene, and the car tried its best to simply stop and not touch the squirrel. The squirrel stood there, not moving an inch. It noticed a car that was trying to hold onto the brakes like crazy, while stopping from some 65 miles per hour speeds. Bes swirled the car a bit to the right, hoping to miss the squirrel while the car was still trying to stop because of the stupendous speed Bes had accelerated to not a few moments ago.
Smoke filled up the scenery in the rear mirror as the tires cried for mercy. The brakes told the tires to keep crying and keep trying, as hopefully the 2+ ton car could hopefully stop before reaching the probably less than a pound squirrel. It did not work. Bes kept looking at the squirrel when the squirrel disappeared under the car, with the car still trying to stop.
The car did not stop!
Bes went over the squirrel, and after passing the scene of the chaos, Bes started glancing in the rear mirror, while the car came to an almost complete stop. Bes could not see clearly in the back because of the smoke. Bes let go of the brake, which made a very weird squealing sound at that very moment and gave a sudden jerk to the car. Bes was surprised. Had the brakes died? Had the tires burst? Finally, in the side mirror, when the dust settled a bit, Bes saw the the new nut owner still standing in the same spot, looking at the 2 ton monster that had just missed because Bes had swirled the car a bit to the right. The squirrel moved a bit towards the side, and then looked at Bes again, as if to say to Bes “Come back here and fight you sissy!” Bes knew better, and kept on driving towards home.
The car brakes sounded and felt weird on the way. Bes parked near the house and started driving around and reversing once in a while, in order to check the brakes. The brakes kept rubbing against something and shaking the car from time to time. That was bad. A nearby mechanic was open, so Bes drove there very slowly, making sure no other nutty squirrels got threatened by nutty Bes along the way. The mechanic was going to close within 20 minutes, so an appointment was scheduled for Bes for the following day at 9 in the morning. The last time I checked, Bes was hoping the repairs do not cost too much. Otherwise, it would be hard to ask a brave squirrel to pay up half of the money for the unexpected adventure that both the squirrel and Bes had gone through over a small nut.
The squirrel is out there….
Bes decided to write about the interesting incident with the nut and the nutty squirrel instead of the nice topic that was brewing in Bes’s head earlier. That other nice topic shall be posted tomorrow. I am sure the squirrel is also telling other squirrels in Berkeley about Bes driving off and not wanting to fight a squirrel which was willing to give its life over a nut. Bes just hopes the squirrel does not know where Bes lives. Bes also hopes that the squirrel does not know about this post.
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( April 11th, 2007 at 11:53 pm )
I love this entry!!! LOL, you already know my other comments… =P But yes, this was a really nice entry to read, especially when you need some cheering up! =)
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Twitter: @makuahine :
( April 12th, 2007 at 9:14 am )
Are you high? LOL
You seriously wanted to crush the nut and you hit your brakes so hard there was smoke!? Yeah most likely they’re going to need some work.
Man, I’ll never understand you California people, lol, I know people here who would seriously try to hit the squirrel!
But um, also, how is O_O squinting? LOL I always thought that was eyes wide open.
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( April 12th, 2007 at 10:45 am )
Well, Bes, you didn’t see me, but I was actually there and witnessed the whole thing. Your squinted face looked like this : ^o^
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( April 12th, 2007 at 4:18 pm )
Bes,
This post literally had me laughing out loud. I could almost “hear” the crunch as it seemed that your car ran over the poor squirrel.
On another note, if there were a squirrel in front of me, I’d slam on the gas. But it was the poor nut that I have sympathy for! How dare you try to run over the poor, defenseless nut! I’m going to call PETN on you.
BTW, I hope you write more posts like these. This was awesome.
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( April 12th, 2007 at 5:00 pm )
It was a delight to read your post. I’m new in this territory. Was just feeling my way around when I stumbled onto your website. It’s 5.30 in the night (counting from the wrong end, I couldn’t sleep somehow) in my country. Wish could hang around longer. Note to self: add this website to “Favourites”.
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( April 13th, 2007 at 1:57 am )
Thanks everyone.
Chau, I am glad you loved this entry! Yes, I am aware of your other comments, heh.
Thanks again!
I guess I have to write more posts like these in order to keep the “cheering” craze going? 
8 paragraphs total, isn’t that crazy?
Valerie, lol. Yes, I wanted to crush the nut. I am not sure why, but there was a voice there, or maybe a feeling. The brakes are dead. I will post something soon with the estimates and stuff [I already let you know the estimate, I think].
lol @ understanding Californian people, heh. Hmmm, I think I prefer the nut to the squirrel when it comes to hitting something!
Heh, about the squinting, I think Vivien [the comment below yours] explains it well. Imagine I am trying to open my wide as hard as possible while squinting hard at the same time.
Vivien-inspirationbit, rofl! So that was YOU up in the tree, video taping the whole sequence! No wonder the squirrel jumped down scared and then decided to run for the nut.
Yes, that was the expression! You saw it all!! Please don’t tell the squirrel where I live or where I blog!!
Ronalfy,
! I am so happy that this post made you laugh so hysterically! lol. Heh @ crunch. I was also thinking about some similar sounds and dreading them in my mind and thoughts when I went over the scary beast!
ROFL @ PETN; now I get it
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Ok, hmmm. I will definitely write more posts like these then.
Thanks! 
Saumya, thanks for stopping by, and thanks for commenting!
I am glad that you found this post delightful, even though this was probably your first visit to the site. First impressions that are good are probably a step in the right direction, no? 
Thank you for not going straight to bed, and instead writing that comment!
Please do stop by again and let me know what you think of other things, or anything on your mind. I hope to see you around more. 
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( April 13th, 2007 at 3:29 am )
Yes, Bes, that was me there videotaping the whole thing. Do you know what happened to that poor squirrel afterwards? Watch for yourself:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ikH9ZRcF2Q
^::^
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( April 13th, 2007 at 10:28 pm )
Awesome! At least the squirrel got drunk the same day because of being scared!
You should be a spy, since you were able to spy on the squirrel.
^_^
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( April 13th, 2007 at 11:51 pm )
Vivien,
I bet you were the one that scared the squirrel out of the tree. This whole escapade is your fault! I imagine the squirrel went into some kind of post traumatic stress after being scared out of the tree and almost run over by Bes. Because of you two, the squirrel may never be able to climb a tree willingly again.
Bes,
I suggest you send a bill to Vivien for your car expenses. And expect a tersely worded letter from the squirrel’s attorney.
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( April 14th, 2007 at 7:37 am )
No wonder French say “Cherchez la femme”
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( April 14th, 2007 at 3:28 pm )
Ronalfy, my lawyer is writing a letter as we speak/type.
The whole escapade is indeed someone’s fault…
Also, Mr. Chester [the squirrel] has been contacted by my lawyer. If the squirrel wants to talk, my lawyer is the one to talk to!
inspirationbit, lol! Check your mail soon for a legal letter. =P
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