I was out with a friend of mine, trying to find a place to eat after coming back from the hospital. My friend had decided to stop by the hospital to pick me up, and wanted to “hang out” with me. I had just undergone several x-rays to see if the pain in my body was because of broken or misplaced bones, or if I had a crack in my skull and I needed mental therapy. I was looking out the window at different options, including several fast food places that we were passing by. So many fast food places had never seemed so attractive before; the accident had probably been beneficial in a sense, too.

My friend kept driving at variable speeds, not being able to change lanes without getting honked at, nor being able to drive slow enough to not stop at almost every stop sign or light without a sudden jerk that sent pain crawling to my back repeatedly. I told my friend that I’d just gotten into an accident if he hadn’t noticed, and that he should simply hang up and focus on driving normally. He replied by telling me that he is a better driver than me and kept talking on the phone, while looking at me and giggling for no apparent reason. I gave him the nod that resembles the nod you give to a teenager who tells you he’s superman and the coolest living thing on earth.

We came to a red light and my friend slowed down, while still talking on the phone. For some reason, he looked at the car next to him, on his left, while the car kept on going. My focus was on finding a place to eat when suddenly I looked to the front and noticed that we were about to hit the car in front of us. I screamed at the top of my already-in-pain lungs “Watch OUT WATCH out WATCH OUT!” My friend looked at me and said, without looking at the road, “Calm down man you’re…..” and BAM! He hit the car in front of us.

“Damn & Great“, I thought. I had nothing better to do than be in another accident with displaced bones on my body. It was perfect. The night of Halloween, pain and now the misery that was about to come my way. I knew how my friend would handle such a situation, thus I was not ready to take control of the whole thing in such a condition. I told my friend “CRAP! SEE! Are you ok?” He had the look of a guilty cat, the look that tells you that the cat realizes it was bragging to go eat a mouse but instead bit the leg of a dog and doesn’t want to realize what the reality is. I personally didn’t care, since he was a grown up and anyone who acts like a big person should be able to support themselves like one. I told my friend to get out of the car and check the damage, as I wasn’t in a condition to walk normally even before this automobile-french-kiss. My friend said to me “Psshh, I ain’t scared of him, what the &*() is he gonna do?” I told him to forget about being a gangster and just get out and see what happened. My friend started taking off his seat belt when the guy in the front car got out.

He was over 6′5″, and thus I knew my friend would be disabled like me if he upset that guy. The guy walked over to the back of his car, and looked at the trunk, and then at the front of our car. When he turned to look at us, I noticed that he had a strange collar on his neck, a black collar with a white square on a long black coat; he was wearing a priest dress. He had a professional hair cut and looked as if he represented the society of neat business people. Whether it was a Halloween costume [really scary indeed] or a real dedication to achieving heaven and salvation, I immediately pulled my friend by grabbing onto his right hand and said “Just sit, don’t do anything, he won’t do anything if there’s not much damage. He might even let you go without a police report. Just be nice and apologize like you mean it!“

My friend had his legs out of the car already, ready to get out, and while looking at the guy in front of us, responded to me “Yeah right, I ain’t scared of him, stop worrying so much, I ain’t gonna pay for his fuc%^&* car.” The guy was looking at us, wondering what the argument was about. I responded to my friend immediately “You idiot, I don’t care about the payment; it’s your car, your accident. I’m just telling you that I know this guy is most probably a nice guy and he will let you go without any police report if you act nice, and if there’s no damage.” My friend looked at me and then put his feet back in the car and closed the door. While closing the door was a stupid idea, it did seem better to simply sit there for about 10 seconds in the hope that the priest was going to walk over than to keep the door open and seeing a fight between a teenager and a priest. The man did walk over to my friends window, which was the driver side of the car, finally after about 30 seconds of analyzing the two cars, and the first thing that came out of him was “Are you guys ok?”

My friend said “I’m fine ‘dog, how about you? Sorry about that!” The guy didn’t answer him, probably because the last part of the sentence wasn’t sincere and sounded stupid. The guy turned his attention to me and said “Are you ok? You are sitting all crooked.” I told him I was ok, and that “I’ve been disabled since last week from something else.” The guy smiled a creepy smile, and then said that he himself was ok, and that “there seems to be no damage on either car, so I guess it’s ok, no need to do anything.” I was surprised and was about to start laughing out loud [LOL anyone?], and my friend was in a shock. I asked the guy “Are you sure?” which made my friend turn to me with a red face that resembled an upset beaver, while the guy repeated his sermon “It’s ok with me if it’s ok with you guys, I don’t feel any pain and the car seem to be ok, only a small jerk, that’s all.” That resulted in my friend thanking the guy as if his own life had been spared. The guy shook his hands, waved goodbye to me while walking back to his car, and took off. My friend started driving slowly, still wondering if it was his intelligence that resulted in such a result, or if it was me. I don’t know whether the guy in front of us really acted like a priest or if he had some kid tied up in the trunk of his car and he didn’t want any attention, or if he was simply someone acting like a priest on a Halloween night and it wasn’t his car; whatever the reason, it was indeed a very interesting act. I actually wished I had gotten into accidents with that guy instead of the ones I did.

Within a minute, my friend started dialing a number again to talk to someone, and I heard him starting the interrupted conversation with someone on the other end of the line “Yeah, sorry dawg, nothing happened, just got into some stupid situation and had to hang up, my bad. What waz you sayin?” I looked at my friend and then looked back at my window, looking at the outside world. I was happy over the fact that nature does provide fodder in the form of the lesser-intelligent species for bigger species to feast upon, or at least to run over for practice.