Thought: The Wrong Number Dilemma
I have been getting a lot of wrong number calls lately, asking me for different people. A few hours ago I got a call from a Berkeley phone number (510), asking me “Can I speak with Marilyn?” I know of no other person named Marilyn that wants to share my number, so I said “Sorry you have the wrong number“, to which the lady said “Oh ok” and hung up. That got me thinking about the way the call was handled by both parties. It could have been handled better, so that we could both realize The Wrong Number Dilemma.
Realizing the reason of the entire phone call and understanding it a bit more, even if that results in more mystery, is better than not thinking about the reasons or the situation at all. It is time to think a bit more about a situation which many consider to be nonexistent.
The Wrong Number Dilemma
When you call and run into the “wrong number” situation, after you hang up, you really do not know which of the 2 possible reasons, from the person dialing the wrong number to the person dialing a number at which a certain person used to live long time ago, are the root of the resulting situation. All you focus on are the two hypnotizing words, “Wrong Number.” These words are hypnotizing because as soon as you hear them, your first instinct as the caller is to hang up as soon as possible.
So what is the dilemma? As the caller, the dilemma is the question that pops up: did I call the wrong number, or did the person who used to be at that number now have a new number, and I did dial the right number? As the receiver, the dilemma is wondering how the other person got that specific number in the first place. Sure, we can simply say or hear the two magic words and hang up the phone, but the issue remains with the phone for a long time. It is as if we do not care or even think of finding out what is going on, and we say “wrong number” to get rid of the other person or to get the clue that we should get lost as soon as possible.
It is one of those situations where majority of the people do not want to know what happened; they simply want to find out the right number as the caller or to move on as the receiver.
The typical caller
As a caller, we usually do one of the following things during and after the wrong number call:
- Say “Oh sorry” and hang up
- Say “Oh ok” and hang up
- Say “Ok” and hang up
- Simply hang up without saying anything
- Say “What do you mean I have the wrong number?” and do not hang up. Someone asked me this question when I told them they had dialed the wrong number. I was quiet for about a second or two, and then said “Well, you picked up the phone, dialed a number and then asked me for someone and that person is not associated with the number you dialed, thus you have reached a wrong number.” The guy simply hung up, probably unamused at my answer.
The typical receiver
As the person receiving the call, you pretty much, and so far, are limited in your choices, to the following three:
- “Wrong number“
- “No one here by that name. Must have the wrong number.“
- Simply hang up without saying anything back to the caller.
But you, as the receiver, always have the power to make the other person hang up. The keywords to make the other party hang up are “wrong number.” Many callers wait for you to finish saying things before they hang up, while many other callers simply hang up when they hear the dreaded “wrong number” chant.
The hypnotizing chant = Wrong Number
As the person saying the “wrong number” hypnotizing chant, you usually expect nothing from the caller other than them hanging up the phone. In fact, you usually say the words “wrong number” as a way to indirectly control the other person’s actions and to make the other person hang up. You control the actions of the caller: you can make him or her hang up the phone any time you wish by saying those two words. Rarely do you encounter people who do not hang up within 5 seconds of hearing the words “wrong number.” They are usually smart people trying to act smart, confused people, rude people, harassers, stalkers and more.
The revised polite Wrong Number Dilemma
In practical life, I personally expect both parties to at least have an old style conversation that goes like:
“Hi, can I speak with Marilyn please?”
“Oh I think you have the wrong number”
“Oh ok/thanks/sorry bye”
“No problem bye”
Both sides hang up.
That “Wrong Number” conversation is polite in its own micro-sense, and it is complete. Of course, as you can see, it does not convey any useful information other than Marilyn being equal to a wrong number. “Marilyn” and “Wrong number” are the only 2 sets of words in the entire conversation which are useful overall to many people. The caller has only one focus: “Marilyn.” The receiver has only one focus: “Wrong Number.” The caller and the receiver agree to hang up because they realize they agree on one fact: Marilyn equals to a wrong number for that very phone call.
The revised Wrong Number Situation - Dilemma addressed
I suggest a clearer communication to deal with the situation:
How about, in order to be clearer, after hearing the hypnotizing words, you as the caller asks “Can I tell you what number I called so I can see whether I dialed the wrong number by mistake or if the number I have is the right number but the person I am looking for has changed numbers?”
As the receiver, how about after hypnotizing the caller, you ask “No one here by that name. What number did you call?”
Both ways, the caller can know whether they actually did dial the wrong number by mistake or if they dialed the right number but the person they are looking does not have that number anymore. That way, instead of the wrong number situation being a dilemma where both you and the caller wonder how you two met in this universe, you will have a better idea of what set of events resulted in the two of you coming across each other’s voices over the phone.
Next time, inquire before hanging up
The next time you you get or call a wrong number, instead of looking forward to hanging up, you can try to look forward to figuring out how you ended up on that very call, while still on the phone. Should you not know why you do the things you do or how you end up in different situations? I do, because my phone is still ringing and I would love to know more about why Marilyn is thought to be at my number.
Remember, it is not a wrong number until you find out it is the wrong number. And I am not Marilyn until I say I am.
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( April 14th, 2008 at 11:38 pm )
I am always polite when letting someone know they called the wrong number. My boyfriend, however, will either yell “no!” or “wrong number!” into the phone and then hang-up. Sometimes he doesn’t say anything at all and just slams the phone down. Even more often, he will not pick up the phone unless he recognizes the number… in which case, I have to answer it. He’s an asshole to anyone he doesn’t know.
You didn’t mention those rare occasions where you actually have long conversations with these “wrong number” strangers. This has happened to me only twice, and I am pretty sure it’s only because I am female. Nevertheless, on a boring day, they can pass the time.
( April 15th, 2008 at 3:31 pm )
I once called the wrong number and the woman on the other end got really upset and started talking about how many calls she had received. It just so happened her number was published in a yearly magazine that just came out and she didn’t know. I had empathy for the mistake as I told her the news. I ended up talking to her for around 45 minutes about our lives. We shared a conversation about so many things and one was my own experiences about wrong numbers. The…
( April 16th, 2008 at 3:55 am )
I always handle a ‘wrong number’ situation with the polite way you stated in the article…well, if the other party is polite also. I really don’t like it when people call my phone and then ask, “who’s this?” I respond with a “who do you want to speak to?” If they won’t tell me who they want to speak to, then I just hang up. I guess that is a bit rude, but how would you handle a situation such as that?
( April 16th, 2008 at 1:53 pm )
A lot of times this happens when businesses have the same number except 1 number off.
( April 18th, 2008 at 8:06 am )
Ouch… getting a wrong number is like getting headache. Sometimes its very trouble some if we dailed a wrong number unknowingly. That day becomes a very bad day. I once experienced such a situation and prayed God not to get back such situation.
( April 19th, 2008 at 2:45 pm )
I get these calls daily, some just hang up immediately others call back once or twice not believing that this is not the right number…some people are crazy.
( April 20th, 2008 at 3:04 am )
I have also received many wrong calls;and always first enquired who is the front person on the line and then went on with the conersation.sometimes it used to get very hectic,that i myself had to hangup the line and the front person still won’t give up until he got extremly tired.
( April 21st, 2008 at 9:06 pm )
Wrong numbers are handled politely most of the time by myself.. but telemarketers…. well, that’s a different story.
( April 22nd, 2008 at 8:02 am )
Lately at work, we have been receiving calls for someone who doesn’t work in this office. When we politely tell the caller that they have the wrong number, they always get offensive and proclaim us to be lying to them, and that they are going to call our manager. You have to wonder why people can’t just accept they have the wrong information.
( April 23rd, 2008 at 9:38 pm )
That’s a great little guide. Lukily I hardly get wrong number calls. But what I do get is a hell of a lot of sales calls. Insurers, isp’s, pet care. How on earth do they get my number? Wish you could write a guide about dealing with those pains.
( April 28th, 2008 at 12:00 pm )
A bit off line, but I just took up 200 x 0871 numbers, which in the UK we receive 0.2p per call in revenue, it seems all these numbers have been used before, some by very large companies because last week according to the statistics we received over 1800 calls, now thats £36.00
( May 25th, 2008 at 10:41 am )
I can tell you in one day I would receive like ten wrong calls..all wrong numbers..
( July 6th, 2008 at 3:05 am )
This article is ridiculously unnecessary and long-winded. Unnecessary because most people use digital telephones and can check the number they just dialed to see if they made a mistake. Long-winded because you could have simply said, “If someone calls you with a wrong number, ask them what number they dialed.”
If you wanted to go on a rant of this length, you might have talked about drunk dialers who adamantly refuse to believe they have the wrong number and call you repeatedly throughout the night swearing and demanding to know who you are. Or you might have mentioned the people who use wrong numbers as an opportunity to make a new sex-friend. Both of these situations can be extremely annoying (although sometimes they’re fun) and would constitute an actual “wrong number dilemma.” Unfortunately they don’t typically involve hypnosis.