Forget having nachos with your drink. Captain Morgan now has a blog since earlier this month.

As if drinking and then imagining things wasn’t weird enough, now you can drink and read the stories that the Captain posts, including tips on how to have a better party [or get wasted better, in direct words]. Not only does the Captain make you dumber when you drink, he can also write interesting things to entertain you while you are flying over the moon. What could be more thoughtful?