Comments on: Helping someone today did not make me happy

By: Thought: is it your obligation to help others in non-critical things? at The Reasoner

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 07:58:16 +0000

[...] my understanding and experience of and in life. As I wrote before, I can remember many times when I helped someone and I did not feel happy at all, and some of the responses I got from others shed some more light on the [...]

By: Bes

Bes — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:34:46 +0000

Interesting point there: “50 cents may not be a lot to you but to that guy it was probably the world”; makes us focus more on helping others the way they want to be helped instead of helping others the way we want to help, unless our way of helping can help them even more whereas their method or preference may actually be bad, or something.

Thanks for the comment.

By: valerie

valerie — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 03:36:35 +0000

Yes, keep helping people, as much as you can. You may not see a reward now, but later you might. And even so, it’s not about that, like Stacee said, it’s simply about helping others. Your 50 cents may not be a lot to you but to that guy it was probably the world - he was really grateful.

By: Bes

Bes — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 23:07:34 +0000

Chau, wow, that is indeed very interesting! Many people do take advantage of such situations where they can keep asking people who are coming to a specific location only for a few minutes to spare some change by telling them some story like you said. It would be interesting to ask such people questions like Michael Douglas did in the movie “Falling Down“, when he asked a lot of questions to a beggar. It turns out the beggar guy was lying in order to get some money from anyone who walked by that specific area.

Thanks for sharing. It helps explain what the feeling can be. You should definitely blog about this sometime.
Stacee, yes, it’s something really interesting. Many people like the feeling of helping someone, whereas others like th feeling they experience afterwards. I also agree that the concept of helping someone because it’s nice is better since it removes some element of selfishness from the whole process.

About the reason I wasn’t satisfied, you may be on the right track…. :)…a little bit more steering. :p

Just like you, if I was stuck somewhere without the ability to make phone calls at that time and I needed to make a phone call right away, I would be glad if someone could help. Otherwise, I would have to walk or barter my belongings or something in order to get the resources I needed lol.

By: stacee

stacee — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 19:10:29 +0000

Glad you realize that. Helping others should be about helping them, not the reward in the end, whether it be an actual reward they give you or just the feeling of satisfaction.

Was the reason you weren’t satisfied because it was 50cents, which is comparably a lot less than $37?
If I were stuck somewhere with no cellphone (or a cellphone with no signal or battery), and no money for a payphone, I’d be really glad that someone gave me change.

By: Chau

Chau — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 18:32:47 +0000

Hmm, most of the time, when I help others, I feel happy. I’m constantly helping others, a lot online though, but still…

As for giving money to people… Ok, here’s a story that I should post on my site sometime… I had forgotten to post about it when it happened. Ok, that one day I was “hiding” my dog from the apartment inspection, I saw this guy, standing by this one guy’s car… The guy just drove into the parking spot, still talking on his cell phone. He turned off the engine of his car, but he was still talking on his phone. He had 2 empty parking spots, one on either side of him. Then this guy came over to the guy’s car, just standing there… It was creepy because he was just standing in the middle of the other parking spot… He just stood there, sort of looking at the guy in the car. It looked like he either wanted to ask him something, or rob him or something like that… He stood there for a couple of minutes, and that guy was still talking on his phone. The guy talking on the phone did not notice that there was someone by his car, and I’m guessing it’s because he was too busy talking on his phone. I think it was about something important, though, and not just a regular conversation… So then that guy started walking around…

Then after awhile, the guy on the phone finished, and saw that guy still standing there, so he opened his door and asked him if he needed something(or something like that, since I didn’t hear it), and then I guess that guy told him that he needed money to catch the bus, the guy in the car reached over to get some change, and gave the money to him. Then the guy started walking across the parking lot, looking like he was going to the bus stop on the other street. So then the guy in the car drove off… Then about half an hour or so later, that same guy came back! He was wondering around, and there was this really small delivery truck, and he peeked in the window, since no one was at the truck at that time… Then he just wondering around at a nearby Dollar Tree and liquor store… I don’t know what else happened because cars were in my way and I couldn’t see it…

So yes, the point of my story is that I don’t give money to people now because of this. I used to give money to people, because they ran out of gas, etc, etc, but now I know that most people are just lying to get the money… Maybe I heard this on Dateline or 20/20 also… But yeah… Ok, sorry so long! LOL. I should post this on my blog sometime… LOL.