Avoid following people’s advice without thinking yourself
We do it almost daily. We ask others for advice, both online and offline. While asking others for advice is a good thing, you should analyze each advice before you act upon it. Just because some famous person recommends something does not mean you should follow that recommendation. Anyone can try to give you advice; you have to see whether or not the advice in question applies to your unique self and situation.
An example of how not to follow advice without thinking
A long time ago, one of the community college students I was counseling came to me for help. Her boyfriend was giving her advice about something that she did not want to follow. At the same time, however, she felt obligated to follow his advice because of being in the relationship. Her boyfriend was sincerely giving advice since it had worked for him in the past.
In my view, however, what he was recommending did not apply well to the girlfriend’s situation. I told her to listen to what I had to suggest, and then to think about the benefits and pitfalls of both her boyfriend’s advice and my suggestions. She could then do whatever she pleased since it was her life. She thanked me and went on her way.
Last week, she sent me a text message out of the blue to thank me for helping her back then. Did she follow her boyfriend’s advice? No. Did she follow my suggestions then? No. She did something interesting instead. She took my suggestions, combined it with her boyfriend’s advice and came up with her own unique solution that even her boyfriend was happy with.
Ask for advice only to incorporate it into your own solution
You should not follow any advice without analyzing, dissecting and customizing the advice to suit your own situation. The advice other people give you is a result of their thinking and their past experience. Thus, you cannot simply keep following other people’s advice without thinking about how such advice fits your thinking, your experience, and your current situation. Ask for help only when you are ready to help yourself and when you try to come up with your own solution also.
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( March 21st, 2007 at 5:43 pm )
Wow, I TOTALLY agree with you on this WHOLE entry!!
I often ask for advice(as you can tell, haha), but I don’t take the advice like that and just implement it. I think about it A LOT(haha, you probably can think of a lot of examples for this)… LOL.
About your friend, yep, I totally agree with her about thinking of both solutions and coming up with her own solution. I try to do that, but when I can’t, I will think over the advice, first, before doing anything with it.
( March 21st, 2007 at 10:48 pm )
The best advice I’ve heard all day!
Good story. It really illustrates how getting advice and different views from multiple sources can bring a solution that’s completely new and uniquely tailored to the situation.
( March 22nd, 2007 at 7:21 am )
Chau, thanks for pointing that out. I can come up with several examples relating to what you are pointing out, yes.
A person should try to avoid asking for any advice if he/she only wants to do something specific and is asking for advice only to find support without caring much about contradictory advice that is based on logic. Also, a person should try to avoid asking for advice if he/she simply want to hear something specific and be/remain obsessed with his/her own ideas and thoughts.
Thanks Chau. I guess I should include more stories as examples?
Shane, thanks for visiting and taking the time to leave a comment. I really appreciate it.
I am glad you find the above interesting. I like the way you word the whole story: “getting advice and different views from multiple sources.” That is a very good way to summarize the article, since finding out other people’s different views can allow us to think about the reasons behind each view and come up with our own realization.
Thanks again Shane.
( April 6th, 2007 at 5:04 pm )
That’s the best advice ever! I often ask for advice too! Very interesting.
( April 7th, 2007 at 1:35 pm )
Thanks Jess!
I really appreciate the kind word. I also ask for advice from time to time, though I try to think about everything I hear also. 