Are your reactions based on how others react?
I saw two men fighting for some unknown reason in the Costco parking lot yesterday. Some people were running away from them, yelling “Security!!” while others watched from a distance. People who were watching from some distance would start walking further away whenever they saw people near the fight stepping back a bit. That exact moment made me realize something: the only reason most people were trying to get away from the fight was because they saw other people around them doing the same thing.
You may be reacting to things because you see others reacting also
Would you not feel a bit more comfortable than usual walking or driving by two fighting men if you saw everyone else walking, standing and driving by them without any hesitation? We usually consider something good or bad depending on how others react to it. Yet, we rarely try to figure out and realize if we react to things based on how others react or if we react based on our own assessment of the situation. Such a realization can help you react based on good judgment.
Online, copying reactions is easier than creating your own reactions
Similarly, on the internet you may see people agreeing with certain things while criticizing other things. Focus on why people agree or disagree instead of focusing on the number of people who agree or disagree with something or someone. Even if the people you respect or idolize react in a specific way to something, try to learn by observing and analyzing instead of copying those people and reacting in the same exact way.
What about the two fighting men at Costco?
As for the two fighting men at Costco, they turned out to be two customers who wanted the same parking spot right next to the store entrance, even though the adjacent spots to that specific parking spot were empty. Maybe there were other reasons I am not aware of. Otherwise, when it comes to the invisible pride of not backing off with dignity, I guess sometimes we want something desperately simply because we notice someone else reacting the same way.
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( February 28th, 2007 at 5:54 pm )
One piece of advice I could give is that no matter what reaction you have to a situation, you “choose” that reaction. If your reaction is based on what someone else is doing, then that person is “choosing” for you. Why give someone else that control?
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( February 28th, 2007 at 10:12 pm )
That’s an excellent advice. Exactly, why allow someone else to control your emotions, or even your physical actions!
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( March 1st, 2007 at 10:20 am )
Wow, that’s crazy about the fight…
But hmm, you’re right about reacting to things because others do the same… Hmm, you’re making me ponder that now, and whether or not I do that… LOL…
Good point, very good point!
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( March 1st, 2007 at 11:48 am )
I think in the way you do about that. I observe people a lot, and rarely do I see people going their own way with things (at least, it seems that way). More often then not (both online and offline) I will see one person say something and then tons of other people will be like “I agree” and keep reiterating what the first person said a million times over (which is kind of what you said on the “online†part of this article), or doing the same things did A lot of these people don’t seem to really know why they are reacting the way they are. Some will go any way the crowd is going. I guess it’s human nature.. But I think it would be a heck of a lot better if people stopped and thought about why they are doing what they are doing or saying what they are saying, because maybe then they would see things differently and perhaps choose another way to react.
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( March 1st, 2007 at 2:57 pm )
Chau, the fight was weird, yes. Thanks for the kind words in the end!
Haha, should I be glad I am making you ponder/wonder now?
Nicole, good explanation.
Yes, many people simply carry on the wave with “I agree” because they simply focus on who is saying something instead of what is being said.
You are right; it is human nature. Right now, most bloggers are simply agreeing to blogs that make money simply because they think if they keep agreeing to people with big blogs they can gain similar success. It’s like trying to be a sheep like someone who already is. Keep making the same sounds as those nearby and somehow a miracle will happen and you will be the same.
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