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We have pneumonia. We have aids. We have cancer. We have bird flu. We have Teletubbies flu. We have everything. Today. Right here. Right now. If you want to get infected with a disease and die soon, chances are you can find a way to make it happen within a month. Or maybe 3 months.

Mexico was the keyword in all the newspapers till yesterday. And now, United States is in the start of a growing panic mode because of the small child that died in Texas to be deemed the first death from Swine Flu in the United States. In the Middle East, Israel wants to call the flu “Mexico Flu” instead of “Swine Flu“ because the Holy Land of the Muslims & Jews do not eat pork and it is considered unhealthy for them, but that is being protested by Mexico. Korea also wants to call the flu the “Mexican Virus“, much again to the protest of the Mexican government.

Mexico has issued respirators for everyone. They look cool. I want one too please. Never before has the idea of being confronted with a virus looked so real, and so scary. Is it all a hype? Is this just like any other flu, with the only difference being that this is a new outbreak and thus the news is playing up the hype? Still, I want a cool respirator please. I will wear it everywhere. Why not? San Francisco police is said to be officially going to start having all San Francisco Police Force to wear the Swine Flu Respirators within a week. Today, supposedly, the Zodiac’s identity was revealed in San Francisco. “The Zodiac has come to San Francisco.” What a cool quote. I have a better one: Move aside, Zodiac. The flu has come to San Francisco.

The economy is bad. The feelings with the outside world are bad. Our internal systems of businesses are bad. And now, even the micro organisms hate us. Or maybe they hate each other. I am not sure. No one is sure. How must the parents of that child must be feeling today? We feel and talk about that child more because he is in America. Yes. Hundreds of Mexican deaths can all be described numerically. But this child has to be discussed in detail in order to show how serious we should be towards paying attention to the media. Or is it real? I am not sure. What was the child’s name? What kind of toys did he like? Who are his parents? Are they ok now? Did the child have any brothers or sisters? How is his overall family? Did he suffer? What did he go through? I don’t know. Does anyone care outside of the media paper and page the news was on?

Not everyone in America wakes up thinking “I want America to be the biggest super power on the planet!” Not everyone in America wakes up thinking “Hah! Those Mexicans are always dirty and thus they are getting these diseases.” No. Majority of us, the majority that is now shown on the news, wakes up thinking “Ohhhh, so sleepy, need coffee, and then need to get to work” or “Hmmm ohhhh, so hungry, need to relax and then decide what to do.” We are humans, just like you. I am human, I hope. I feel like a human, but if I am not a human, how can I be sure I am a human to feel like a human? No one knows. Though we say we are.

Many people think Americans have no emotions. Americans include citizens, visitors living here for decades, illegal immigrants living here permanently, and all the animals and Bigfoot too. All of us do have emotions. Some show it in both extreme and non-existent ways like on this site. Others do not show it, like on this site also, while some others show it all the time and with full force, also like on this site. Regardless, we are doing everything we already were before the Swine Flu entered our vocabulary with such devotion. We are still going to the movies, and we are still having ice cream. We are still tweeting, and we are still walking around in the dark looking for new hiking routes. Some of us are still idiots, while some of us are still better. Some of us are still moronically selfish and manipulative individuals, while some of us are crying and wondering daily why we are being manipulated. Still, some of us just wake up, go to work, and come home and sleep. And if you did not realize it, every mention of the term “we” in this paragraph referred to all the human beings in this world.

People I know in Europe & Middle East are being advised to not come to the United States. I agree. Don’t panic, but avoid coming if you can. I do not know what it feels like to lose a son, but I know what it feels like to lose someone young. You decide. I am going to keep on doing everything. I am going to travel, going to go around taking pictures, going to meet people, going outside, and going to live. I am also going to try to get the respirator. Maybe because it may save my life. Or maybe because it looks very nice and I want to feel a respirator once again in life, after 18 years of not wearing one. Maybe the respirators are different than gas masks. In such a case, any respirator now may be my 2nd one. Otherwise, it would be the 3rd mask on my face in my life which may stay on for a while or during an emergency. Who knows.

It is now 2:24am. Not a single smiley in this article so far. Maybe it’s because I’m relaxed and tired at the same time. Let me go ahead and put a smiley –> . The World Health Organization WHO has labeled the Swine Flu a level 5, meaning it is one step short of becoming a worldwide plague in action. Level 5 means it is already on its way to becoming level 6. Let’s have 5 smileys–>

Forget about being associated with a certain culture or a certain country. Focus on humanity, and focus on yourself first. Wake up, and feel alive. And then feel that everything is hyped up or just an obstacle that you will either overcome or co-exist with. Not everything can be defeated. But you can try to keep on living in many weird situations.

Bird Flu. Cookie Flu. Swine Flu. Pig Flu. Mexican Flu. North American Influenza. Whatever the name may be, we keep on living. 10 years from now, articles like the Wikipedia entry on the Swine Flu will make it look like the entire world was crying and weeping on April 30th, 2009. No. 99% of us are not weeping over this flu. Our own President was getting applauds and joking around earlier today. This is just another news. The show must go on. We must go on. The difference between the show and us is, the show is there to get attention. We have to go on in order to keep on living and in order to co-exist with this new beginning.

So maybe this is how people felt in the 70’s when the previous Swine Flu outbreak was. Wikipedia article, once again, shows it as being kind of a big thing that caused millions of people’s lives to change drastically and immediately. Of course, Wikipedia also portrays the same impression about today’s 2009 Swine Flu outbreak, though I don’t notice anyone’s life changing drastically in California because of this. Has your life completely changed? Hmmmm.

The good thing is to see how your life has changed, and how the media says your life has changed. Then we can try to decide whether it is the flu that is the real outbreak, or the media. And we have the necessary power to deploy forces in any part of the world within 24 hours. But we do not have enough injections or medicine necessary to give to the entire population for the next 6 months. Brilliant! Clap with me please!

*If you’re dumb dumb and would like to be called a dumb dumb clap your hands! CLAP CLAP* – Bes

To everyone dying in all parts of the world, and their families, and their neighbors, and their friends, and their enemies, and their fellow human beings, do realize that there are others that realize what life is too. And they are living it also. And they have their own life and ideas too. Many of us have not forgotten you, nor disrespected you, on purpose. We may have our life to think about, the way you have your life to think about. We may just have other sidetracking things going on at the same time, like life itself. Even if it is at 2:42am.

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Does social network profiling result in discrimination and prejudice?

It is interesting to see that more and more companies are starting to think that your behavior outside of the workplace is an important factor to consider when figuring out whether or not you are useful to the company and your job. My question is: What does the non-work online life of anyone have to do with the work life? Employers should only care about something that affects the workplace or the job at hand by following the golden rule: mind your own business.

Can employers and interviewers use the social profiles of job applicants and employees as a way to base biased decisions against the stereotypically-stereotyped people, like homosexuals, females, minorities, politically minded, certain races, and more?

Employers should not care about the online social activities of employees outside of the workplace.

Employers have to learn how not to judge an employee because of a social online account not related to work. Employers also have to come up with better ways to analyze candidates than to use online posts of employees and candidates as one of the main deciding factors. Many times, if not most, using MySpace or social profiles as a way to “weed out” candidates is a cheaper and faster way for interviewers and others to not do the extra work of figuring out who is a good applicant for the job at hand.

According to a CareerBuilder survey in June of 2009, “Forty-five Percent of Employers use social networking sites to research job candidates. Jennifer Van Grove on Mashables says “Though this may seem as a big downer for those of us who are oversharers, the reality is that there’s still opportunity to use your social presence to land that job.”

Background online profiling can be the same as stalking

Snooping around to check an existing or prospect employee’s private or online life, which may have nothing to do with one’s work, is the same as stalking employees or prying into places which should not be used for judging the professional working ability of someone.

This may mean that the act of checking the social profiles may be considered bad in more than just the “unethical” banner, like considering it stalking. One example is an employer cyberstalking his restaurant employee in a private discussion group on MySpace, built solely to vent and share the personal frustrations at work, and then using her private posts as a basis for firing her.

Employers are also known to create fake accounts just to find out more information about private accounts of workers. BBC has a story of a woman recently fired because of being on Facebook through her iPhone while resting in bed, after she had taken a day off from work for being sick. She says that one of her mysterious Facebook friends online was probably one of her co-workers or boss, who mysteriously vanished from her Facebook friends list after she got fired. While there is a lot of focus on the general media advising the general public to either not post many things online or to protect such online postings further, there has been a slow increase in the amount of attention people are giving to the idea of suing employers for discriminating against and stalking the online profiles of potential and existing employees.

The same way following a person to bars, the public park, library, movie theaters and other places is a form of stalking and does not contribute in any significant manner, in many cases, to the value and integrity of an employee, should employers snoop around the online public profiles of job applicants and existing employees, when such profiles are not related in any manner to the employer or a job?

Censorship is the main reason many employers check employee’s social profiles

One of the reasons employers monitor their worker’s profiles is because of censorship: many employers do not want their employees to say anything bad about the company outside of the workplace, as BBC Video reports in the case of 16 year old Kimberley, who got fired by Ivell Marketting & Logistics for saying on facebook “ma job it poingLESS” to her friends. Kimberley’s co-workers had forwarded Kimberley’s Facebook status updates to their boss.

Also, companies seem to be taking extreme action even if someone voices a strong disapproval of the company actions. A very good example of this is Dan Leone and his facebook account. Dan Leone was fired from his job as a game-day employee for voicing his disapproval of the team on his Facebook account. No one sat down with Dan, and he was not offered a chance to express his side of the story and the situation. It should be known that the thousands of Eagles fans voiced the same exact opinion that Dan did. The only difference was that Dan was working for the very organization that he voiced an opinion against.

Another example, as reported by CNN, is of anonymous bloggers being fired by their companies and employers for having blogs and for posting opinions on them. Also, CNN itself has fired senior producer Chef Pazienza for having his own opinionated blog under his own name while working for CNN and not adhering to CNN’s journalism standards. It should be noted that Chef’s blog is personal, and was not in any manner related or competing with the “journalism” offered by CNN.

What logic is used to consider unrelated online activities as being 100% related to work performance?

My question to all the employers and other people suggesting that people should be careful in their online activities because of the impact of such online details over one’s job: Why? Why should one be scared to post stuff online? What about in countries, like in Europe, where smoking a joint or eating hash cookies, is legal? Would posting pictures of someone smoking hash in Europe get them into trouble in Florida?

What logic and reason, including any logical connection, exists between posting a picture of yourself smoking a joint, and with your actual job performance? Why should an outside bias against any action be allowed to affect our image of someone’s working professional life and qualities, when the two have not intersected so far? Should employers and interviewers allow their own personal judgment and any opinion of things like smoking a joint, affect and cloud their judgment over completely unrelated things like a job performance?

Overall, the very question of whether or not employers should look at such profiles, when they are unrelated to the work at hand, should be brought up in order to make sure that the unrelated activities of people do not affect their job prospects because of the employers putting unnecessary emphasis on such online profiles.

Random examples of online social profiling resulting in bias and prejudice

Different things that are used to form biased judgments about someone’s working abilities can include the following.

• A person cannot drink on a job but drinks every night at home and at parties and gets wasted. Is that a disqualifier for an existing job? Will religious or other interviewers who are opposed to drinking count this into their final interview decision, yet still say that the online profile of the applicant does not play a “significant” role in the hiring process?
• A person goes around smoking marijuana in Europe but has a perfect job and professional record around their city of work. Should they be disqualified by someone who is against illegal drugs in America?
• A person has had more than one abortion and posts publicly about it on her blog. Would a pro-life interviewer have any interest in checking our her blog when the job may be about something like computer hardware repairs?
• Would a “hard core republican” have his chances of employment at a “hard core democrat” management corporation ruined because of his pro-republication status messages on twitter?

Such points and interests can give interviewers prejudice, since such points are usually pursued by employers and interviewers for no reason other than to find out anything bad that the employer or the interviewer may not agree personally outside of the workplace. Employers and interviewers usually say that they do not use online social profiles as an important element in deciding whether or not someone should be an employee. My question to employers and interviewers: If online social profiles do not affect your judgment in a hiring process, as you, the employer and the interviewer claim so many times, why do you check out the social profiles of people in order to find out qualities, like what a person does at 11pm, which has nothing to do with what a person may do between the stereotypical hours of 9am and 5pm?

Many employers are spending heavy resources on finding out what kind of MySpace and Facebook pictures job applicants and existing employees have on their MySpace and Facebook profiles, instead of interacting with those people directly to find out what kind of job qualities and skills they have.

Is checking an employee’s or potential job applicant’s online social accounts, if those accounts are not related to work, the same as stalking and cyber-stalking someone? Many entities think that spying on people is an acceptable behavior. An example of this on a massive government level is the case of the city of Bozeman in Montana asking all existing and prospect employees to hand over their usernames and passwords to their Facebook, MySpace, and other social networking accounts. A Millersville University teacher Stacy Snyder was denied a teaching credential because of her online MySpace picture, shown to the right, which shows her drinking beer with a pirate cap on.

A so-called conservative interviewer could disqualify a job applicant who drinks heavily every other night and posts the pictures on MySpace, while a very so-called liberal interviewer could then disqualify a job applicant who preaches about religion a lot through their blog. A Christian employer could deny a job to a Muslim job applicant who talks openly about the war in Iraq on Twitter, while a Muslim employer could deny a job to a Jewish job applicant who talks openly about Palestine and Israel on their Facebook. A gay interviewer could deny a job to someone who is against same-sex marriages through their Facebook groups, while a religious man-to-woman-only-marriages employer could be harsh on a gay job applicant who runs and promotes pro-same-sex-marriage groups on MySpace. A white interviewer could ignore a black job applicant who runs pro-affirmative-action groups on Xanga, while a black employer could deny a promotion to a white or a non-black person who runs anti-Obama groups on LiveJournal. In all these and other cases, a stereotypical person could easily use the non-work related online social profile activity trait of a worker as a way to affect the work-related progress of that worker in a completely unrelated real of someone’s life.

According to the article “Googling your Nanny” on Care.com, in which caretakers were asked if they were comfortable having their non-work related MySpace, Facebook and other online accounts researched by parents who wanted a caretaker, people like Erika W. said “I think it’s a great idea because then parents will know if their babysitter is honest and responsible! I’m a great babysitter, so please come check out my profile!” while people like Dawn said “MySpace and Facebook are about friends and child care is about work. Obviously at your job you’re going to be professional and attentive to the children…The things I do in my personal life have no reflection on the things in my professional life. ”

What Jason Falls thinks about online profiles, employers and employees

Here is a very interesting presentation Jason Falls about your online social accounts, and how they are visible to employers,.

Employers should pay heed to employees directly, and not the online social stereotypes

Employers and interviewers should stop using social profiles and non-work related habits of people as one of the main ways to figure out whether or not an employee is fit for a job. Employers and interviewers should actually be fired for relying too much on online social profiles instead of their own offline abilities to figure out whether or not an employee will do good at work, and whether or not the actual work, educational and other skills of the employee would help the company and employer in question.

Val Calvert says “You wouldn’t air your dirty laundry in the backyard, so why would you air your dirty laundry on MySpace?” My question: how are those two things related? MySpace is a personal profile for many, and if someone wants to post something personal about themselves online, why should an outside employer, who is not part of the personal life and only part of the professional life, decide to use that information to form judgments about the working qualities of an employee or an applicant? Also, Jason Falls considers people who smoke joints in their pictures to not have a job soon. That is a very important thing to consider, because of the stereotypical trend in the business world where employers and interviewers assume that the online life of a person should greatly help in deducing whether or not a job applicant or employer is a good candidate for the future.

Kit Eaton at Fast Company talks about the unjust horrors of not censoring your Facebook page from your future and current employers. Of course, more and more companies have already been firing people because of social media, as mentioned before by Doug Caverly of WebProNews. Mark Glover of The Sacramento Bee says that employers must set up online social networking ground rules for employees to follow.

My question to everyone who wants employees to hide and change their life habits online solely because of upsetting an employer: If something is online and accessible, like the social profiles of job applicants, should employers simply take such information and use it as an element in their analysis of the prospect employee?

The online activities of employees, if not related to actual work, should be ignored by employers.

The act of expressing ourselves online is being used against us by entities which would prefer us to express things they want to express in order to promote their image and business in the personal lives of people, outside of the workplace. That is prejudice and unjust bias, similar to what many entities experience because of their background culture, race, color, religion, political views, gender, sex, and age. To put it simply: the idea of being able to express ourselves, using the online world, is being discriminated against and targeted heavily.

Do you think it is important to put emphasis on the social profile and online activities of a job applicant? Does the “Getting wasted Friday night & barfing all over the car” picture of a job applicant affect their performance at work? Should a company really require you and other employees to exhibit a typical “professional” attitude throughout your life, outside of the workplace? Are employers and interviewers putting too much emphasis on the public image of their employees than the job performance and potential of those employees? Is such a trend, of heavily factoring in the social profiles of job applicants into the interview process, a sign of the non-adapting nature of corporations and workers who want to hire drones that exhibit a workplace attitude 24 hours a day? Are interviewers and employers discriminating and being unethical when searching out and profiling your online social profiles?

Just because you are an employee of a company, it is not a stated fact, nor should it be a requirement, to never have feelings or judgments against the company you work for. Businesses should not ask for blind patriotism, nor should employers enforce a robotic environment where any emotion that the company, as a money making machine does not share, results in the termination of such emotion holders.

Have you ever been asked or told by an interview or an employer about anything related to your social profiles? Have you ever had your social profile researched and viewed by employers, interviewers or co-workers and then brought to your attention?

Please let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. Now I must go and try to take a few pictures of some toys so that I can post them online to share with everyone in the professional and non-professional world.

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it.

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What happens when you stop going online? Your online status accounts on Facebook, Twitter, BrightKite and other places will look like they have not been updated in a while. Your e-mail accounts may start bouncing, because some free e-mail accounts deactivate if you have not logged in for 3 months. If you have your own website and an e-mail account related to that website, your website may go offline within 2 months due to non-payment of the monthly hosting fees. That can be a big clue that you are either going offline, or that you are really going offline. A lot of people then may start assuming that either you have changed your domain name, or that you have decided to take a break from the online world. Some people may immediately start wondering if you have also decided to take a break from the offline world.

Do you have a backup plan?

In cases of death, or in cases of not being able to go online anymore, some people may be inclined by the idea of coming up with a backup plan to have their online accounts taken care of. Do you have a backup online plan that deals with the fate of your online accounts in case you die? Would you want someone specific to get access to all your passwords and accounts so that they can continue your posting frenzy? Is there any entity out there that you would want to go online to tell the rest of the world that the amazing you has passed away? Who would take care of your online accounts? Who will voluntary take care of them?

Online services to share your secrets, with your approval, after you die

A service called Death Switch aims to help you with this exact backup plan. After you sign up with them, you will tell Death Switch what kind of an e-mail and what attachments to e-mail if you die or go missing. The service sends you e-mails on a regular basis which you have to check and click links within. If you stop clicking the links in those e-mails, for reasons like death or boredom, the service will eventually send your super secret e-mail, that you dictated when signing up for the service, to the people of your choice. Such an e-mail can contain secrets, long lost thoughts, and even the picture of the real Zodiac. Legacy Locker, Great Good Bye and Vital Lock are other such services that offer either service plans, to meet the needs of ever dying soul that wishes to transmit information from beyond the grave, like Sadako.

One sole use of the services like Death Switch and Legacy Locker could indeed be to share your passwords with someone, because, as Elinor Mills for Cnet reported, not sharing passwords can result in more headache than many people realize after they die. While the analysis of the overall “If I die what will happen to my twitter account?” thought and reviews of services like Legacy Locker are interesting, it is even more interesting to question if we should actually care about the online world in case of our deaths or amazing disappearance.

Are automated notify-after-your-death services necessary in your life?

However, since such services are automated, what if you simply go on a vacation without remembering that you have to click on the verification links? What if you lose all your passwords in a laptop fire? Regardless, any form of a backup plan that involves sending messages to specific people in case of your disappearance, or online inactivity can result in your “Yes, I am gay!!!“, “You SUCK as a boss you $^#*@(@& @)@*@* – I hope you rot in hell & I &*( on your corpse from heaven!!“, and “I married you to be close to your older brother….” e-mails will surely reach the shining and living e-mail inboxes of your parents, your boss and your spouse. And they may indeed make your life more amazingly complex if you were on vacation and forgot about clicking the verification links from the above services.

What Ryanne Lai shows happens to your e-mails after you die

Here is a nice presentation by Ryanne Lai as to what happens to something like your e-mails after you die:

What happens to your online things in case you do not take care of them?

The idea of figuring out what to do with something like a website and an e-mail account has been around for a while. Dylon Boyd from Eroi.com has already asked “What the heck happens to your email accounts when you die?” MSNBC has asked the question “After your death, how will the information be located?”

Now comes a very important question. What happens to your Facebook account after you die? What happens to your MySpace, Twitter and Flickr accounts? What happens to your ICQ and AIM accounts? What happens to your Yahoo Mail and Hotmail e-mail accounts? What do you think will happen to them, and what would you like to happen to them? If you do not have a backup plan, will you be able to let someone know about your online accounts, if you wish, right before your death bed, or the ambulance bed? Even more interesting, what happens to your computer after your death?

Can you be an Online Account Donor?

Like Organ donors, would you be willing to donate your online account to a worthy cause? Would you give your MySpace account to your friend, or the Red Cross if they could use it to promote their services? Would you want anyone else to have your online account once you die? Would you donate your online account, whether it be your e-mail or your Facebook account, to a relative, a company, a friend, a neighbor, or a randomly stranger on the first bus that passes your house after 48 hours of your death, picked randomly by a lottery number? Would you be willing to carry around a government-issued, or a self-printed picture id, with the words “Bes The Online Account Donor – details on my MySpace & Facebook profile!” card? Would you like to an an Online Account Donor? You would, of course, have the choice of donating all of parts of your online accounts, like donating your Facebook photos area to someone, and your notes area to someone else. Theoretically, of course.

Should you have a backup plan?

Now comes the real question from my thought. Is there any need for you to let anyone online know that you are dead? Do people want to go on their Twitter accounts and see “Hey, this is Kylie’s friend. He r died! I r za new acount ownar! add meee biatches! xoxo“? Do people want to get up at 2am and check their Facebook friends feed to read “Phil has died“, with a way to give a thumbs up vote to that news entry and a way to remove the dead Phil from your living friends list? Heather Spencer, from the OK Gazette, says that “closing out your Facebook, blog and Twitter accounts must be added to the list” of things the family and friends of a deceased person must address. If any of such family members or friends do decide to close your account, should they let everyone else know that you are dead?

We can compare this briefly to your offline ideas of death, if you have any. Do you have an offline will? Now, regardless of the answer to that question, would you like to have an online will? Do you have any messages to share with others once you die? Should you have any will or directions for anyone to have your passwords transferred to someone after your death? Any messages to be posted on your site? Should you have such plans?

If you die, will anyone online find out about it? If you die, what will happen to your online accounts?

So we are now at the main big question. If you die, what will happen to your online accounts? Is that something you should think about? Is it something that you think may be something important to consider? Or do you think letting online people know about your death is not important? Do you think it is not important to have your online accounts taken care of after your death? If you die, what will happen to your online life? What happens to your emails, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Flickr, pictures, writings, any online earnings or files, etc? Would anyone online find out about your death?

One thing is for sure: If you die, your online accounts will surely find out about it through inactivity and the absence of love or abuse. Ohhh, the trauma for your online accounts!

Please let me know what you think, or if you have any questions, comments, or anything else on your mind, you can share them by leaving a comment below. I now have to go and see where the offline world takes me.

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it.

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What does it mean to be “normal“? What classifies as being normal? Do we consider things as being normal if they are acceptable by the majority in the society? Throughout recorded history, and today in our daily lives, we run across people staring at one another if they notice something being done, in any form, that is usually not done, or that is usually not done by them. People will get surprised by those who talk to themselves, and people will also get surprised if they do different things. How does one define what is normal? Are there any requirements that can help classify something as being “normal” or “abnormal“? Do you have a set of rules you think about when you look at any phenomenon in this world?

Standing on the side of a street, you can easily look in any direction and start labeling things as being normal or abnormal. You may consider things to be all right, regular, acceptable, typical, and even “nice!“, and you will still probably be circling around the concept of considering something normal. People do things in order to be accepted into the society, among their friends, into specific groups and in social circles. In such cases, is the focus on doing something normal, or is the focus on doing something that is acceptable by others and maybe yourself?

Is “normal” absolute or relative relative?

One of the most important phenomenons that happen on a regular basis, and that get analyzed and discussed in terms of considering it a normal or an abnormal thing is the concept of having sex under different conditions. Having sex if you are under 18 years old is not considered a widespread and acceptably normal thing in the United States, even if it is a growing trend. The reason for this could be the laws that prohibit some sexual acts for individuals who are under 18 years of age. At the same time, having sex in Switzerland if you are 16 or older is considered normal, because the laws there allow it. Does that mean if a 17 a year old person has sex in Switzerland on a Monday, the society thinks that person and their act should be considered normal and acceptable?

If that same 17 year old has sex in the United states on the same day while that person is still 17 years old, the majority of the public society in the United States thinks that such an act should be abnormal and not acceptable. How is the same act, among the same people, considered normal in one location, and abnormal in another? Morality is usually not a big placard in this aspect, as people usually cite the different laws, explained more below, as the basis for considering something as being bad.

Travel agencies could offer summer trip discounts to Switzerland for teenagers who will be celebrating their 16th birthday during the summer. Would that be normal? Or would that be abnormal?

Is “normal” dependent on the current laws?

Competing with the idea of having sex in terms of something that is considered acceptable and normal in abnormal forms is the idea of drinking alcohol. Less than 80 years ago, it was considered abnormal, illegal, and an immoral act, to drink any alcohol in the United States. Today, drinking is legal, and considered normal by the majority during the Prohibition Era. Al Capone, one of America’s most famous gangster in history, gained fame from the public and caused fear among everyone by doing one main thing: smuggling and selling alcohol. The entire police system at the time revolved around eradicating this non-normal act of pushing and pulling people into alcohol.

That same beer, that the public feared, that the cops and the country told everyone to stay away from, that the country considered an abnormal element in any life, that America went to war against the most famous gangsters in this country’s recent history for during the 30’s, that the mob went to fight to sell in order to make illegal money, is now legal, normal, and on sale for all people over 21 years old all over the country. How can one non-normal thing, that made the society label certain people as being “bad” simply because those “bad” people did the non-normal thing of drinking that non-normal thing, be considered normal today? The human brain still responds in a similar fashion to alcohol as it did in the last 80 years. So what changed? Did something not normal become normal because the law allowed it?

Thousands of people were arrested for drinking alcohol and for selling alcohol during the 30’s. Is it fair to see people before suffer for something that today we allow legally and normally? What changed?

What is normal for you? Stay tuned for more non-normal series!

It can become very complex to differentiate the reasons as to why something may be considered normal and acceptable, two words which are usually use interchangeably to describe the same thing. It is normal to wear a jacket on a rainy day, but it is not normal to wear a t-shirt in the snow. The previous sentence itself is an example of how the concept of “normal” affects our perception of that very word: is normal something that majority of the people do on a massive scale, or is normal something that should be done according to the values of certain societies?

This series will cover these points and more, in order to figure out and share with everyone, and myself, the meaning of the word “Normal“, and how our views on the concept of something being or not being normal affects us, and how such concepts are affected by us also.

Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or thoughts.

Thank you for reading.

What is this series about? – The concept of “Normal” info

The concept of “normal” is going to be reviewed, analyzed, discussed, and hopefully eaten with an appetizer through these series. I am creating this series with Marie to discuss this topic in greater length. What is normal? What is abnormal? You, me, Marianne, and everyone else are going to think about it and discuss it together. How does that word, “normal”, affect you? How do you use it? How important do you think it is? How important should it be? Join us, and let us see whether this word and concept called “normal” is a blessing, is nothing, or is a disease that should be avoided!

Marie can be found on her blog “Sweet Tea and a Cloudy Sky“, on her @Marielianne twitter, and her Marie Lianne Facebook.

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I am thinking of the idea of deleting all of my online identities everywhere, delete all my posts, all of my websites, pictures, social networking accounts, wipe off as much information about me as possible, leave whatever I cannot touch out there for everyone to see, delete my e-mail accounts also, and go offline. I am thinking about the idea of commiting the online form of a suicide and going completely offline.

The online world is not a real world.

One of the main reasons majority of the people are online these days is because of the media coverage. Not a day will go by this year that a news channel will not think of Twitter. Not a day goes by now that millions of people in California alone do not think of logging into Facebook to poke someone. MySpace is thought of every minute in millions of people’s hearts. Text messages these days are slowing getting conquered by mobile notifications from social networking sites. Would leaving all of these be a bad thing? It, however, does not matter whether or not it would be a bad thing in the eyes of those who rate such a decision. No need to check anything online.

Being completely offline means less clutter.

It would be very good to be completely offline. No e-mails. There are phone calls and text messages. There are letters too. No more social networking on Facebook or Myspace. Time to socialize in person at different places and also the same place. No more hanging on to bright kite to spot whales and harpoon them. Time to go out and hunt in person. If you feel like you have been online longer than most others and have done online things other would only imagine, what does it matter if others think leaving the online world completely is a weird choice? The offline world offers so many goods and evils, that they can only be matched online by typing “OMG look at this video” or “I did this…” Time to actually do it offline instead of also talking about it online?

Being online means more stereotypical trends and people.

It is becoming very easy for people to forget that they go online by doing things offline. Does not matter. Slowly, the fun and excitement in “OMG I SIGNED UP FOR THIS NEW WEBSITE ITS RAD DAAAAMN!” sounds and feels so lame, that sometimes hearing such and similar online statements from people via e-mail or instant messages results in the offline world of boredom to seem like a better choice. Body language, misinterpretations, fake messages, fake affection and caring, and many other things are so easy to type out and show in the online world, that every day some other idiot emotions keeps flying in everyone’s direction. And if more people talk about it, it becomes the trend.

Been online for so long and so deep, being 100% offline sounds ecstatic!

I went online because I was curious at the same time. It would be awesome to commit online suicide because of being bored at the same time too.

What do you think? Now I must go offline now and try to eat, play, drink, work, and jump around. All offline, of course.

Thank you for reading.

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Is it the heat that is making me think? Or is it simply the weakness?
It is the long time hidden under the dirty sheets, or is simply the neatness?
Whatever it is, I feel like doing the same, doing some more,
People like me mostly have disabilities, though we become more active when we’re dead some more.

I feel dead today, not happy, not sad, only royally dead,
The perfect time to actually be taken under the wings,
but no, I see no wings, and only my shadow in the light,
The wings have forgotten me, and I am here under the light.

Forever in shadow & forever in dead,
ohhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhh ohh ohhhhhh!
Forever in shadow & forever in dead,
ohhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhh ohh ohhhhhh!

I finally realize I am the shadow, a shadow wanting cover,
While me and my physical self do cover others, now where is their cover?
I look forward to the night to relax, to actually be the shadow,
for at night everything feels like my domain, like everything is me, the shadow.

You may not see it, but I do see it in my head,
You think I don’t connect with you, but I do connect with your shadow,
Blame me when I am your wings, but go away when I need wings?
You may not feel it, but even even a shadow like me needs wings.

Forever in shadow & forever in dead,
ohhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhh ohh ohhhhhh!
Forever in shadow & forever in dead,
ohhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhh ohh ohhhhhh!

–By Bes Zain. May 10th, 2009. 2:51pm. Written while being the sickest and most confused in his life, and relaxed. From under the couch.

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Following are 12 different signs of desperate traits in different relationships. With these qualities, there is a tendency that someone may be desperate for a relationship simply because without a relationship, they feel unhappy. Why is it a scary idea to feel unhappy without being in a relationship? If you get into a relationship solely to be in  a relationship, without wanting to be with the other person based only on their qualities and instead solely wanting to act on your desperation, you are wasting the other person’s time and hurting their feelings from the start, and already setting up a problem for them and yourself, regardless of that other persons’ willingness to be interested in you for a relationship-consideration.

The following 12 signs are of a desperate person who wants to be in a desperate relationship with someone else, whether it is a boy/girlfriend relationship or a regular non-boy-girlfriend relationship or something else, including formal non-close relationships. The person I am referring to is someone who has any of the below qualities and is not willing to think about them, address them, realize them or even acknowledge the possibility of their existence. Such a person is what makes such signs a very scary trait among such people. As with everything I say, please realize that each and every trait below is also a good thing and has exceptions, so avoid going around breaking up or throwing ice cream at people simply because you notice something below in them.

1. Ignoring the other person’s bad behavior repeatedly in order to hold on to the relationship
2. Assuming that all problems are normal in all relationships
3. Aiming for next steps like a marriage or an engagement, or a step up in a relationship, as the solution to existing relationship problems
4. Always claiming responsibility for the other person’s mistakes
5. Not accepting responsibility for existing relationship problems on a usual basis
6. Lying about previous experiences and current life in order to get attention through sympathy or glorification from others
7. Wanting more things immediately in relationships to happen without any reason, action or intention that is considerate to the other person also 
8. Criticizing secretly in front of others the other person and the relationship, yet not sharing those critical points with the person in question directly and maintaining the relationship with them
9. Sharing everything immediately for the sole reason of overwhelming the other person’s sympathetic feelings through confusion or something similar
10. Acting aggressively, angry or defensive as a reaction if the other person does not portray the same feelings towards the relationship or the possibility of a relationship that the desperate person has been showing
11. Getting into a relationship solely to get married or have kids or find someone to depend on, instead of getting into a relationship to be with that other specific person
12. Acting desperate and prideful at the same time, resulting in basing respect of other people solely on the criteria of whether or not others do something for you instead of you acting modest, humble, nice and doing something for for the other person, and at the same time, acting stupidly mean as a way to hold on to stupid self-pride

The above is a brief summarized list of traits that can be strong indications of someone who is desperate for a relationship. Such people are usually not looking for a relationship to be with someone. They are looking for a relationship to be in a relationship, thus the focus is not on the other person at all but on the relationship. Such people are the ones that usually end up blaming all bad things on the other person in case things do not go in their direction.

Being desperate can be a very bad thing when your relationship exists solely because of the above points

Wanting to be in a relationship can be an extremely good thing. However, seeking random people and jumping onto the bandwagon, even if you do not like that person, is a very desperate act of getting into the "I’m in a relationship" mode, which is very annoying and creepy in my view. This list can help you figure out whether or not the people who are in a relationship with you may be desperate, and how you can try to help them or that desperate trait so that the relationship can exist based on the connection between you and the other person, and not based on the feeling of desperation. Relationships based on being desperate are usually why many people move on from one person to another faster than rabbits move around a garden eating a grass, and that is also one of the reasons why such people usually tend to criticize and badmouth many or all of the other people they already know or interact with just to try to impress new people.

The list can can also help you figure out whether or not you yourself are desperate. Whether or not you wish to realize or acknowledge such qualities in your own character is your own life choice: at the end of this post, you will still be the person who has control over your life.

Being desperate in itself is not a bad quality. Being desperate for something can be a bad quality if it intervenes with things which should have elements other than the feeling of desperation to be the driving force and reason behind and for them. You may act too needy in a relationship, and you may act too distant depending on how you view your own or someone else’s desperation traits.

What do you think of these 12 points? Do you think the above points can signify a desperate quality, or have you noticed the above qualities in yourself or others?

What do you think of the above? Do you think any of the other points are something you have seen in others or in yourself? Do you think any of the other traits can be identified easily or through some analysis?

Thank you for reading.

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Now keep in mind that if you would have slapped me first, I could have apologized or done something else, instead of slapping you back. For example, if you slapped me first as a result of me causing you to spill something on your clothes, I could have immediately run away screaming “Wooohooo!! I have a topic for my site!” while you chase me. Thus, a preemptive action is not an action that is the only solution to something that can happen. It is an action that the preemptive person or entity chooses to take.

The Preemptive Initiative

What I propose is that we try some preemptive things, listed below, in our lives. Why can we not take an action before there is even a need for such action in any form or manner? Whether I am serious or joking or being myself, you decide. Life would be completely different in many perspective if we start taking actions, including the act of not doing anything, before there is a need for such actions. The preemptive points listed below will help you get started.

The Golden Preemptive Rule

There is only one rule for Preemptive Actions Initiative: forget every other rule and focus only on the action itself. The below preemptive actions are being committed solely and only because of the very nature of each specific preemptive action itself. There is no other information or reason for which these actions take place. This very article is intended to let you know both the fun things that can result from preemptive actions, and the horrible things too. Hopefully by the end of this article, you will realize a bit more than before as to how preemptive actions and assumptions affect our life in different manners.

12 random & interesting Preemptive Actions

While some of the following may look like pranks, imagine making these part of your life and also imagine accepting the fact that others do the below things to you daily. Imagine that your life is empty without this, and that anyone telling you otherwise would only make you mad. How then will you live your life? Will you be able to realize when you are analyzing something and when you are assuming something?

Here we go:

1. File for divorce before you get married
   Found the girl or guy of your dreams? Take them to divorce court before you even get married. If they ask why you would want to do such a thing, tell them they were going to cheat on you, take your money, or do something else to hurt you. If they ask for proof, tell them your proof is your ability to preemptively analyze preemptive things. See how they react. Even if you get married after that, they may want to divorce you.
2. Break up before you start a relationship
   Similar to the divorce point, but for people not having marriage in sight. Walk up to the guy or the girl you want to ask out, and say “I want to break up with you.” Walk away, and let the gossips start. Launch a preemptive gossip yourself against the gossipers.
3. Sell the car before you buy it
   Go to the car dealership, test drive the car and put the car for sale on eBay or Craigslist while sitting in the salesperson’s office that same day, before you even sign any papers or pay for the car. When the buyer comes, take their money, leave and have the salesperson deal with the situation and that buyer.
4. Run from the cops before they have any reason to run after you
   See a cop and run. When they chase you, catch you and ask why you ran, say “I may end up doing something wrong in the future, which is why I was running since you may catch me then.” Wait a few hours while they search you, your house, your car, or anything else you own, check your background and your DNA and your blood and your pockets, before they scratch their heads in confusion((Please note: They might recommend or order you to go through a psych test to see if you are crazy or not.)). Be prepared to be faced with an authority that does not believe in your preemptive beliefs. If the cops ask you again “Why did you run?” Ask them back “Why did you run after me? You also preemptively though you would catch me before you knew I did anything wrong!
5. Apologize for what you did before you do the thing you apologize for
   Walk up to a stranger and say “Sorry man for stealing your money“, and walk away. Keep looking back to see how the stranger looks at you, or if the stranger comes after you to slap you.
6. Return a call before you get the call
   Call all your friends and say “Hey, I am returning your call. Wassup?” When they say “I didn’t call you…” Say “I know. I realized that there is a possibility that you were going to call me, I was going to be away from the phone and thus I was going to miss your phone call. That is why I am returning your call before you even called me. Wassup? Tell me quickly, I don’t have much time.” See their reaction and make a note of it in your friendship diary. See how many friends start calling you fewer times after that.
7. Tell people you are closing your website, before you open your website
   I want to announce that I am closing my shoe website. It has been a very hard decision, and I know a lot of you would have been disappointed had it actually existed, but I have been forced to take this action since I knew the website would have consumed a lot of my time. On top of that, I do not know if the website was going to sell shoes or talk about shoes or something else. Heck, I do not even know the name of my shoe website or what the domain name url would be. Sorry all, and I hope none of you cry because you miss my shoe website. May my shoe website live in your hearts forever, as it surely lives in mine!
8. Quit a job before getting that job
   Walk into the corporate office of any large company and ask the first employee you see what the proper procedure is for someone who wants to quit a job that they have not yet even gotten the offer for. After that person looks at you for a while, slap them. When you get arrested, refer to my above example and say you exercised your right to preemptive strike as you knew they were going to slap you for asking a weird question.
9. Ask for a refund for your computer before you buy that computer
   Walk into Best Buy and request a refund for your computer. When the sales associate asks you for the item and the receipt, say “I haven’t bought the computer yet.” See whether or not you can end up making the sales associate call for the manager. Say the same thing to the manager and in the end, when you have had enough, say “Ok, I guess you do not respect my preemptive refund rights.” See the reaction.
10. Tell the bus driver “Thanks for the ride” before you get on the bus
    Stop the bus. When the door opens, look at the driver, thank him/her for the ride and walk away. See what happens then. Make sure you have medical insurance; preemptively buying medical insurance is a good thing.
11. Thank the guests for the great party and close the door before the guests even come into your house for the party
    This one is interesting. Invite guests to a party. When they show up at the door, open the door, thank them for coming and immediately say “It was a nice party, bye” and close the door, without letting them in. See what happens, and see if they ring the door bell to ask what is going on.
12. Thank and pay for the food at the restaurant and leave before ordering the food
    Walk into a restaurant and ask for your bill. When the cashier or waiter asks what you ordered or who served you, say “I haven’t ordered yet.” Everything that follows will test your preemptive initiative oath: if you laugh and simply walk out, you were only a prankster playing a prank. If you actually end up paying the money and believe this should happen daily to others and to you, you are preemptively initiating the preemptive initiative.

The above are some interesting preemptive actions that can add fun and frolics into your life. Be careful: not realizing what is the real message in this article can result in a lot of slapping and beating by cops and other people.

Do you support the preemptive initiative?

What do you think about the above points? If you realistically did any of the above, would you feel happy? Would you feel sad? Would you feel stupid? Would you not feel anything? Do you think preemptive actions can result in anything good or anything bad? Do you think such a thinking can improve or worsen your life? Can you think of any other actions, ideas or things that can hint at a preemptive action?

Thank you for reading. I will stop here and will go eat now, since I may become hungry soon.

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“Oh, this…“ the voice said pointing to his weapon. “You don’t remember? I took this from you.“

Bes was puzzled. He was in a strange place, bound and defenseless. And a strange man was holding him captive with a terrifying weapon that the man said was his.

“Wh..“ Bes tried to speak again. “Why…am I here?“

“Why are you here? What a stupid question.“ the voice said.

The voice got up from his chair with the large weapon in tow. He inched towards Bes.

Bes eyed the weapon, his heart beating ever faster. The adrenaline rushing through his veins was starting to overpower the narcotics that threatened his movement.

“What do you want with me?“ Bes asked frightened.

The voice laughed. “I want you to stop.“

“Stop what?“

“Isn’t it obvious?“ the voice stated with a mocking laugh following.

Bes, helpless and bound, was growing irritated, “If it was so obvious, I wouldn’t be asking.“

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.“ the voice snapped. Holding the weapon over Bes ready to strike, the voice continued, “I’ve been reading your work. And I want you to stop.“

“You mean, stop blogging?“

“Do shiny metal objects always increase your intelligence?“ the voice mocked.

“I can’t stop blogging.“ Bes said.

“Well, you’ve already stopped.”

“What?” Bes asked confused. “What are you talking about? I haven’t stopped.“

“Yes you have.“ the voice explained, “I’ve had you here for months. Your readers haven’t even noticed.“

“Yes they have. They’ll come for me! You’ll see!“ Bes exclaimed.

“I don’t think so…“ the voice said. “You’re not that important.“

As the voice said that, the warehouse door burst open. Sunlight erupted through the door, and Bes could make out the silhouette of person standing in the doorway.

“You!“ the voice screamed. “Don’t come any closer.“

The person stepped forward, making his way slowly towards the voice and Bes. In his hand the person had his own shiny and sharp weapon.

“I’ve come for Bes. Step away from him.“ the person demanded.

Holding the weapon to Bes’s neck, the voice screamed, “Don’t come any closer! I will take his head off!“

“You can’t.“ the person stated matter-of-factly while still walking closer.

“I can!“ the voice screamed hysterically, heaving the weapon down on Bes’s exposed throat.

Bes screamed loudly and was quickly silenced.

The person approached Bes.

“Take my hand Bes.“ the person said.

“Wha… What happened?“ Bes said looking around, no longer able to see the voice.

“Take my hand.“

“I can’t. I’m tied down.“ Bes explained.

“No you’re not. Get up.“

Bes again tried to move. He was free.

“What happened to him? The voice?“

“He was never here, Bes.“ the person said.

“But he tried to kill me. Stop me.“

“Here. Take this.“ the person said, handing Bes his weapon.

“Now get out of here. And don’t let anyone take this from you ever again.“

Bes got up, still confused about what had happened.

“Explain to me what happened here.“ Bes demanded.

“Explain it yourself.“ the person said, walking towards the exit of the warehouse.

Bes held the weapon in his hand, raising it so that the sunlight reflected brightly off of it onto the warehouse floor.

“I will.“ Bes said. And he walked outside into the sun.

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All his life he has been quiet, and it can be hard for him to not be quiet sometimes. When he’s in public and in a joyful mood, he can keep on talking. He can keep on entertaining. He can keep on negotiating. Aaaah yes, negotiating. His life is based around negotiation. Negotiating for life. Negotiating for happiness. Negotiating for things he thinks are right not only for him but everyone else too.

Sure, most people overlook such things as it is hard to find a selfless person but he keeps on negotiating, keeps on hoping, keeps on trying. But he is quiet now on the phone. It seems like an eternity. It is a very strong, silent moment, and I wonder if he’s still on the phone. “Bes…” I say, and I hear a very calm “Yes.” He’s there. The clock still says 3:30 am for some unknown reason.

I don’t know what to say.

So I say “hmmmm…” He loves that word sometimes, as if it was his lover that he longed for from time to time. I am not sure why; I doubt even he knows why. That word, among a few others, has become part of him. “Hmmmmmmm.” He says. After a few moments of silence, Bes finally says “99% of the world only hears what others say, while I am somehow stuck with only listening, or not getting a good listener to actually listen.” These moments are very rare; Bes rarely talks about anything on his mind.

Sure, he entertains others, he can keep on talking. But no one knows him personally. No one knows whether he is single or not. Most don’t know where he lives. No one knows about his childhood, about his life, about his current situation. Most don’t know why he does things, or what he does most of the time. Most don’t know his birthday. Most don’t even know his real name. Do you?

Yet he keeps on listening, canceling his movies for those who are sad, not going to classes for those who need him right that very moment, selling his own things to make money for others, giving free and real honest advice to both business and non-business people and their needs, and actually sympathizing and feeling sad in his real offline life if someone online is sad and needs any kind of attention. Other people have become part of him, and he likes observing and analyzing things around him. There comes his own self interest; observing, analyzing, helping, caring, and hoping to be returned some favor. What is that favor? I don’t know. I doubt he knows either. It just hasn’t happened much, or at all, yet.

People know the listening Bes.

People say he is funny and a nice guy; however, very rarely does anyone inquire much about Bes the way he inquires about others. He shows real interest in other people because he has real interest in other people, and he revolves his current life and everything around almost any person he hangs out with. I come back to my senses and look at the clock; it still says 3:30 am. “You want someone else out there like your own self?” I ask. It can be pretty hard to ask Bes any personal questions, for he is a master of detours and can easily answer things to your satisfaction without revealing anything about himself, even if he wanted to. “Heh“, he sighs heavily in a cheerful mood and then becomes quiet.

I hope he says something, as even getting a response on my question is a miracle.

“When I was in the hospital last year,” Bes said, “the hospital sent a student nurse or a psychologist-in-training for 2 nights straight to allow me to talk to her so I don’t feel depressed or anything because of being stabbed. Usually, people who get stabbed get someone to talk to them afterwards to make sure they are ok. This was 2 days after I gained consciousness. After 2 nights of her coming and not being able to get me to talk about anything personal, I spent the next 8 days listening to her problems, her cries and her issues and told her what I thought was right or wrong.

Being in a bed allowed me to actually sometimes make sarcastic fun of some of her issues also; my intention was not to make fun of her but to show what I thought. Here I was, in yet another almost-death situation and I had a chance to express myself and as usual, I didn’t and it didn’t bother me, and instead I ended up being the listener as always…..”

I wondered if he had stopped.

I had to make sure I knew what was going on. To be frank, I had no idea about the exact purpose of what Bes said but I knew that what he said had some element in it that was the focus of everything Bes wanted to say. Bes never says “I feel we should do this.” and as the only thing in a conversation. He likes explaining things, and if he ever talks about himself, he wants to explain himself perfectly. That is why he rarely talks; he is good at realizing when people may be bored, and thus he caters any conversation around to what people want to hear. He is good at that. He is very good at that.

He can excel at communication, at helping others, at realizing what people are made up of, what businesses are made up of, what things are made up of, solving problems for people and businesses, but Bes’s personal life is part of him, and it rarely comes out. He is more happy than most people, probably you too, and he is also more sad and worried about things than most of you, probably you too. Maybe it was his childhood that made him this unique. Hmm, yes, it must be! Or maybe it was how he tried to control his childhood instead of simply responding to it.

I quickly move my hand and my head and look at the phone to check its battery power. My phone still has full, 100% battery. Hours of talk in this phone call and the battery life is still 100%. I wonder why, while putting the phone back on my ear quickly.

Businesses, personalities and external people love it.

Sure, businesses love that, the very thing Bes has become on the outside, as he can work perfectly and do miracles even when his personal life is in chaos, for he rarely loses his cool, he rarely shows his weak point, he rarely shows his inner self. He never wants to show anything personal to anyone who does not care a full 100%, and thus he rarely feels the need to express himself to any individual most of the time. But Bes, himself, knows that such a thing, even though it is alive and well, can maybe go through a change. What kind of a change? Who knows. I wonder if he knows what kind of a change he wants. I do know that he is tired of being only a listener in all personal situations. In businesses, he is more than comfortable in almost anything, so that is not part of the topic here.

“Whatever man,” Bes says, “I know many things are not going to change because of my efforts.”

“What is the solution, do you think?” I ask.

Bes becomes quiet, and giggles.

“Haha“, he exclaims. “People spend years trying to figure out why they are gaining weight and never find the solution. People spend years trying to figure out how to stop their health from deteriorating and they never find the solution. People spend years trying to figure out how to improve their lives and they never find the solution. I have spent and am spending my entire life trying to figure out something, and it is not the solution. Heh, maybe that is the reason I keep thinking a lot. Or maybe the current state of thinking is the answer to what I’ve been seeking, or a tool for it. I wonder how it feels like to try to find a solution for things first. Heh.”

I look at the clock again. It’s 3:30 am.

Bes is quiet now. I know he is thinking of all the stereotypes people have. He knows how the world does not allow easy non-sexual interaction between males and females, how the world does not permit non-selfish interactions between people, and how the world does not allow certain characters to thrive, characters which can easily go from one realm to another, one perspective to another, without being hogged down to a single frame of mentality. “Ok man, sorry to wake you up. Go back to sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day, filled with squirrel pursuits, meeting people, and avoiding talking about person things in front of stalkers and fake listeners, resulting in no personal talking at all.” I bid him farewell, and I put down the phone.

I look at the phone again, and it is all quiet, and asleep. I look at the clock after a few moments. It is now 3:31 am, and the world is on my shoulders. It always has been. People focus on the end result; I am focusing on the reasons. 2 different quests; 2 different paths? I wonder if I will ever be able to actually explain to an actual offline person who is close to me, on a personal level, anything about me, and what I’m all about.

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Why is it that when you offer help to someone voluntarily, it is sometimes appreciated by others, but when you do not offer help, you are looked down upon by many people? Anytime I help someone, I think about it. I wonder why I am helping, as I do not like helping out of obligation to anyone else. Obligation to society? Obligation to religion? Obligation to others? No, no and no. I am obligated to values, and I like to be obligated to those values that I realize are important because of my understanding and experience of and in life. As I wrote before, I can remember many times when I helped someone and I did not feel happy at all, and some of the responses I got from others shed some more light on the topic.

If we help others because we feel it is voluntary and we are doing something that we consider nice even though we are not obligated to, then our focus is probably on trying to see if others can benefit from our help. If we help others because we feel it is an obligation or because others may consider us to be rude if we do not help others, then our focus is probably on helping because it is an obligation.

Why is there usually no ground where there is no judgment passed on the behavior of a person who does not offer help to a stranger in a non-critical situation? Picking up a dropped pen for someone is nice and voluntary, but not picking it up on purpose is bad and rude. How can someone be innocent and selfless solely because they volunteer, when not volunteering results in many people in the society labeling that same person as being bad in some manner?

Is helping others in non-critical things an obligation?

Is the concept of helping supposed to exist because we can do it anytime we feel like it, or does it exist because others around us will consider it a nice gesture? What do you think?

Please let me know if you have any questions, comments or opinion about this. Thank you.

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