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An example: some parts of a day in the life of the Bygone Initiative Advocate

So what you do is you get up in the morning and get ready and leave the house. If you forget your house or car keys inside the house and lock yourself out, do not worry: let bygones be bygones. You can think about it later when you get back home. You take the bus to work or wherever you are going. You get on and you pay the bus driver. If you forget to pay the bus driver and he/she says that you have not paid, say the magic words to the bus driver: “Let bygones be bygones.” Are you starting to understand the power of the Bes Bygone Initiative now? You do not do things to get away with them. You do things and after they are done, there is no crying over it. Absolutely no crying at all. Unless, of course, you drop chocolate or your ice cream melts onto the floor; then it is all right to cry.

You get to the coffee shop and order some coffee that you do not like. Once you get the coffee and drink it, it tastes horrible to you, but you remember the golden sentence. You are very happy, since happiness itself is a manifestation of the thing already happening, and you drink it all. Your stomach feels bad, and after throwing up, you are happy since it has happened already. You walk around and meet people you know, and you tell them what your current bygone day is all about. When they ask you if you are stupid or simply listening to some online person too much. You respond with the golden sentence: “No need to worry, forget about it, talk about something else, it’s already happened.” Other people will love you for saying that and flock around you to see who this smart person is. Or they will simply tell you they forgot to do something and walk away.

The Bygone Initiative

What I am thinking and planning here is an actual reaction: whatever action you do, without focusing on the reaction, your reaction can be more of a “it happened, no reason to place any blame or worry about it – time to focus on how to move on or how to cope with it” kind of mentality. Of course, if you think it in term of that quote, it sounds more of a strict philosophy than the cool version of “let bygones be bygones“, no? You will feel more positive in a more honest fashion, instead of the fake honesty that everyone is told to show in their faces today, the way they tell the customer support people at gun point to “smile because they can feel that smile over the phone.” With the bygone initiative, you will feel happier in a more sincere manner and naturally, instead of forcing yourself to feel happier or to put on a fake attitude of positiveness, since you will realize that negative things can happen and that all you can do is to focus on now and the upcoming history, instead of only your past. Your reaction to this very article may let you know whether you can look at the happy and funny things in life, or if you are the person who forces everyone to request your permission to talk to you before they can, well, hmm, talk to you.

The Silver Bygone rule

There is only one rule to this initiative: you do not do things for the sole purpose of following the Bygone Initiative, and instead you follow the bygone initiative once you have done something without thinking or looking forward to the bygone reaction. You cannot start any action for the sole purpose of having the end result be a bygone – things should happen naturally, and the end result, only when it is encountered, should be a bygone. No thought should be given to the bygone before or after that stage – that is the key to this initiative. Otherwise you will destroy the whole Bes’s Bygone Initiative and force someone to put on a fake smile and say “Let bygones be bygones *cough*” – we would not want that, would we?

7 random bygone actions

Here are some bygone trends and practices that should make you wonder if I am listing these to support them or if I am listing these to give you an idea of what a small difference in an understanding can do to our daily lives.

1. You hit someone and since the action is already done, let bygones be bygones.
2. You eat the food at the supermarket before paying for it at the cashier. When you are confronted by the security, you know exactly what to say, right?
3. You write a post and then move on completely, ignoring all the comments and responses to that post. Oh wait, many bloggers already do this! Never mind.
4. You take someone with you to be your driving companion to San Francisco and when you get lost, you simply say “It’s done – this is our new destination.” You end up in Canada and you tell the passenger “Our new home – like it? “
5. When someone hurts you mentally, you give them a dollar and say “Already done – let bygones be bygones. Now go spend it on something good.“
6. If someone hits you, physically, you give them half a dollar. You do not need to say anything in this case – most probably you will be hit a few times until you have given up all the cash in your pockets. That will teach you to carry only a $1.50 cash in your pocket and have a credit card.
7. Wake up late due to sleeping late and get to work. When anyone at works lets you know that you are late, say “Wait – I thought we are focusing on the now and not the thing that already happened? Want to know what I read online recently? let me e-mail you the link….“
8. Run after a thief who stole something from you and when you get a hold of them, say “Let bygones be bygones, and let bygones be stolen too, pat the thief on the back, smile, dust off any dust from his/her clothes, and walk away without getting the thing that was stolen. Turn around if you want to see the confused thief still standing there.
9. Call your credit card company and say “It’s already happened – already bought things and paid for them. Let’s forgive and forget, shall we?” Unfortunately, you will realize that the credit card companies and their allies of today are not true believers of the Bygone Initiative.

The above reactions can add a level of BesBygoneism into your life, which can make you much, much happier in many situations, or at least think of life in a more positive or realistic manner. Please note that some situations may result in your getting physically hurt, but as long as your mind is happy, let the past be in the past, right?

What is your view of Bes’s Bygone Initiative?

What do you think? Has any of this made any sense, or are you wondering when I will start talking about the real article? Should I myself simply let bygones be bygones and consider this thought or your reaction as something in the past?

No need to cry now – it’s done. You have read this thought of mine and nothing can make you forget it instantly, other than drinking a lot of orange juice or attacking a cat and getting attacked in return as a distraction. You can try telling the cat “let bygones be bygones you aggressive feline beast“, but I doubt that will lessen your punishment.

Thank you for reading.

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Now you should realize that many times these labels are there when certain situations may result in a customer or a person, like myself, to not fully realize the warning automatically. For example, if a knife has a beautiful, non-standard handle that may look artistic, something happens in my head and without thinking, I usually try to look at that handle, by holding it from the sharp end and not realizing it before doing that. Thus, the below warning signs are for me, probably. I present to you some of the many, many physical warning signs I can think of.

1. Warning – This milk comes from cows that are made to give milk involuntarily.
2. Warning – This animal may attack back if attacked.
3. Warning – After microwaving, this product will be hot.
4. Warning – These sleeping pills will make you drowsy.
5. Warning – Plugging things into the electrical wall socket/outlet will result in electricity being consumed.
6. Warning – Driving this car may result in you not being in the exact original spot as when you were not driving this car.
7. Warning – This red wine may cause stain if spilled on some cloth-type texture.
8. Warning – Putting things other than dirty clothes in this washing machine will cause those things to become wet.
9. Warning – This knife is sharp and may cut from at least one part of this knife.
10. Warning – After finishing reading TheReasoner.com website, your watch or clock may still show the exact same time as when you started reading the site, though the author does not know if that is a good or a bad thing.
11. Warning – Eating the cookies in this box will mean there will be fewer cookies left afterwards than what the store gave you.
12. Warning – This ice may turn into water after prolonged periods of time outside of a cold freezer.
13. Warning – This door lock may lock you outside if you do not have the door lock key to unlock the door lock.
14. Warning – Consuming this food may cause you to not feel as hungry as you did before consuming this food.
15. Warning – Using your bank account debit card to purchase something may result in your bank account balance to decrease.

There you go: 15 of the many other labels you can start making yourself to put around different things to warn you about different things. I am already working on creating the above and other labels and placing them on many things, though placing the related warnings on the neighborhood cats needs a good plan that I am working on.

Warning – these words exist to tell you that this article is coming to a close

Please let me know if you have any other warning signs you think can come in handy. From the melting ice to the strike at hunger, you can now realize that if you ever encounter the above situations, you can go “OMG! Bes had warned me about this!!”

Thank you for reading.

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I have a Canon A410 camera for more than 4 years now, and I have used it for everything. It is a small silver camera that can fit into most pockets easily. This camera results in me getting unwanted attention. I went to a mall a few weeks ago with that camera to take some pictures. The security guards felt that it was their life duty to not allow me to take pictures without them in the background. After about 20 minutes of me walking around in the mall looking for a good shot of either some object or a store, I was approached by a security guard and was told that “You’re not allowed to take pictures in the mall.” Every day you see dozens of tourists coming to malls and taking pictures to which no one objects. However, if you are not a tourist and have a light-looking silver camera, you probably cannot take a picture.

Last week I went to the same mall with my new Sony A300 DSLR camera. It is a big black camera that gets unwanted attention itself and makes sure that I get almost no attention at all. At the mall, I started taking a few pictures with it. During the course of an hour, I noticed no security guards shadowing me. I walked around for a while to look for some security guards, and as I found them, I took pictures of them and things around them. Interestingly, none of the security guards had any problem with me taking pictures with a black camera. Even the same security guard, who had previously told me that I was not allowed to take pictures in the mall, looked and carried on with his job, as if I was going to publish his photo in a magazine called “The people who keep our malls safe from silver cameras.”

Example 2: Only non-free software is good

We can apply the same small-silver vs. fat-black camera to the idea of using software online. Someone told me last year that anyone who uses free products in web development is not a serious professional in the online field. I do not understand the logic behind such a claim, though I do understand the flawed notions that probably amount to such claims being used: something that is being offered for free is not good enough to be sold, as people will not buy it. Thus, in such a logic, inferior software is given away for free while superior software is sold.

So what happens when a cheaper or a free software is used? For this article, please forget the mass hysteria after being open-source. The concept of something you take for free, by paying through time and other actions, and not by paying actual tender cash for it, has not been yet understood correctly by many people. If you upload files to your site server with a free FTP software, and I upload files to my site server with a paid FTP software, would my site be considered better than yours based on the fact that I paid cash money for that FTP software? It should not, since if you want to judge, you judge based on the end result, which would be the site, and not on the monetary value of the tool being used.

Paying for a tool results in a better perception?

The above mentality is a form of a separation where those that can afford a higher priced item can differentiate themselves than those that cannot or will not buy a higher priced item. In fact, those that do not have more complicated or sophisticated tools and pursue a hobby or some kind of other work, have more passion and sincerity than those that have a hobby that is made simpler, easier and possible only due to a more expensive tool. It should be noted that this stereotype is also applied to the concept of feelings, emotions and relationships on a massive level: maybe I will discuss that in a future thought.

Give an idiot a high tech 8-megapixel camera and tell him or her to go take pictures. Many of pictures, if not all, will come out looking superb in many forms. In contrast, give the same idiot a 1 megapixel or a 3.1 megapixel with no auto-focus or other built in functions and tell him or her to go take pictures. Then see if many or even any of the pictures look cool.

Today someone online asked me to show him pictures from the new camera, since “the canon was just ok not that good.” I thought about it and showed him a few pictures taken a few years ago with my Canon, but I told him they were all from the newer Sony camera. His reaction? He said the pictures definitely looked better than my previous pictures and finally showed my real talent. I am actually thinking of not sharing my pictures directly with such or many people anymore, or to hide the identity of the tools used so that the focus can be on the actual process and the result itself and not just the tool, since it is a waste of time to have a passion for something like drawing and then have people praise you not for the drawing but for the expensive pencil you used. Better to have a secret passion than to expose the passion and listen to people praise it based on things they do not understand and for things that should not be praised.

What do you think?

What is your opinion on this? Does the monetary value of the tools define the worth of an action? What if someone cannot afford a higher priced item and wishes to use a free alternate? What if someone is focusing only on the actual process and maybe the result and not on the tools being used? The tools may very well be the right tools, but does the rightness of a tool depend on its price? Or is it the mentality of the society, that wants attention and differentiation through means other than actual work or intelligence or passion, that depends on the actual monetary cash price of an item to try to show itself as being superior or to show someone else as being inferior?

Thank you for reading about this thought, which was written in a free text editing program and then in a paid text editor program, then edited on a free online software, on a very strange website, on a $499 operating system, on a $700+ laptop filled with both free software and software that costs more than $5000. And on a table that if I wish to sell one day, would probably require me to pay the buyer some money for him/her to take the table away.

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In my view, setting achievable goals does not seem like a good concept. Following are five of the several different reasons due to which setting achievable goals can be bad.

1. You limit yourself before you start.

   People who think of what they cannot do in their entire life usually look for smaller things they can do to feel better. If you want to simply feel better by faking levels of accomplishments by limiting your boundaries, go ahead. If you think your life should improve or you want to keep on improving the satisfaction of your life, you have to increase some thing, like effort or your targets or even your thinking, in order to expect or get more. Since you set goals usually to achieve something, setting limited goals means you want to achieve something that is easy and limited. Even the simple concept of thinking more about thoughts themselves or something helps.

2. You avoid obstacles.

   Have you ever come across the saying “Look for challenges.” Well, people who look for challenges in life simply because they want to face challenges worry me because such people are very weak: they usually simply want to prove to themselves or others that they are better. How about achieving something through a challenge? I am not sure if “The Challenge Facer” is a goal some people are out to achieve: maybe they are. Similarly, people who keep avoiding obstacles and living a life without obstacles usually end up not doing much.

   Focus on what you want. If there are challenges along the path of what you want, then facing those challenges is more logical, reasonable and ethical than simply going around saying “I’m a challenging person. I look for challenges.” Of course, once you are aiming for something, then you can look for challenges or try your best to avoid them. Now you should realize that your goal itself may be to face challenges in life for some reasons only known you. Sure, such a feeling is important also, but you can try to convert those feelings into other things also to see if the new results help you even more.

3. Stereotypical tradition of setting goals will continue.

   This reason usually happens because we see many others around us planning their upcoming year or analyzing their previous years to see what goals they can achieve or have achieved. If you set out to do something about your goal planning simply because people around you set their yearly goals, you may be simply making goal plans in order to fit into the society. You already know where I stand when it comes to doing things simply because the society does and loves them, right?

Set goals regardless of their achievable status

Now you should realize that the very idea, of setting up goals that are easy to achieve or are simply achievable since the beginning, being bad also means that any goals you set are theoretically achievable. Thus, when you set goals, do not think about their achievable status or their achievable future. Think of the process and the actual goal. The more dreamy the goal, the more important it probably should or may be for you, even if that dreamy important goal is one of the dozens of other goals in your mind.

As time passes, you will realize that some goals are being achieved, some goals are failing miserably, while other goals have surpassed your expectations, have slowed down, or something else. That is normal, and that is how life is utilized to achieve something.

What do you think?

Please let me know what you think about the idea of simply having goals instead of achievable goals, or if you have any questions or comments or anything to share, like your own goals from the past or why you had them. Please let me know if the above thought or theory can be a universal law, or if there are exceptions where the above listed traits or other traits of achievable goals can do more good than this thought of mine, or if the idea above can be modified to be more accommodating.

When we have goals, we can work on achieving them. If we fail, we will learn and that feeling and experience becomes part of us, enabling us to hopefully try new and different ways of achieving other goals in the future. Say no to setting goals that are easily achievable on purpose. Focus on setting goals based on what you want your goals to be.

Thank you for reading.

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This series will take you through a maze of different kinds of relationship trends, aimed at people who are dating, engaged, seeing someone, married, sexually involved, interested, trying to learn more about dating or the myth called “a good relationship“, or something similar. Please realize that the tolerance level in different people regarding relationships is different, and thus some people may give up on a relationship the very moment they notice any of the trends listed in this series, while other let-me-keep-trying-hope-is-in-sight people like me, have in the past kept trying to fix things for a long, long time. You decide how much you can tolerate, and then take actions accordingly. Only let people, who know the whole story or most of the story of your relationship, advice you on whether or not you should end or change your relationship.

This guide focuses on both men and women, and is not limited to only a man-to-a-woman relationship. It includes man-to-a-man, woman-to-a-woman, and woman-to-a-man relationships. The post also does not intend to take your side: you may very well be the very cause of the mentioned trends, and your significant other may be the victim. Hopefully if you are the cause, reading this series will help you realize how you may be doing certain things consciously or unconsciously that may be putting your significant other through mental or physical problems that they should not be put through.

What if I am a man and abused?

You are not alone if you are a man whose heart has been broken before. Relax. For stereotypical reasons, societies today expect females to be more emotional and males to be more “manly“, a term that describes the stereotypical things and traits associated with stereotypical males. Women are not the only victims of abuse, and many males do not report abuse or ask their friends about relationships because they feel ashamed. People might say “What kind of a man are you who feels sad about the relationship? Dump her/him and move on! Remember, you da maaaan!” Even last week I heard someone tell his friend: “What kind of a man are you? You can’t even control one chick, and you expect to be successful in life?” Such is the mentality we hold in life when it comes to the role of genders on our planet.

As a male, the first thing you have to realize is that while majority of the people and mentalities, including the ideas in this article that you are reading, may hint at women being more abused than men, acknowledging the problem in your relationship in your own mind and heart is a very good step to take. Who cares what others think? If you cannot tell others that you feel sad about a relationship, that is fine for now: not being able to admit in public or to others that you can have emotions is a problem that can be tackled later. For now, your focus is on the problem in the relationship. You may be stuck with an aggressive female or a stereotypical girl who is not happy when you act non-stereotypically. Apply everything in this series to yourself, even if you come across an example that mentions females instead of males.

Whether it is a girl or a guy that broke your heart or hurt you deeply, and you are still in a relationship with that person, be sure to think only of the relationship and not your gender when it comes to thinking about the question “Should I even be worried about this, or should I just ignore it and try to be more macho?” The day you start realizing how to look at issues without putting gender into the question will be the day you can start realizing why things are happening. Forget what the society expects from you if you think something is harmful for you and harmful for someone else who is innocent: if in your lifetime you can tell your family even once that their decisions or thoughts may go against what you wish, why is it hard for you to let someone as distant as the society know that you wish to live your life based on what you think is right, and not what the society thinks is right for you? This same society is what bound females into the current male-dominated society. Do not allow the society to keep you tied to the same macho-position in this male-dominated world. Even if in the end you want to be a macho, be sure to make that decision based on your own thinking, without any influence from the society.

Please keep in mind that I am slowly working my way towards discussing such things in more detail also: I am starting from one side and working my way up to help both you and myself understand the situation from some principle, and then branching into other areas based on some form of thinking, logic and reasons based on what I consider is ethical or at least better and the right thing. Also remember one of the important rules: you may hate what the other person does or you may even hate the other person, but do not hate the other gender because of what a single person or a group of people does to you.

3 relationship trends that slowly kill the abused heart

Today we will start with 3 things happening in a relationship that should make you realize that ending or changing the relationship may be the answer to such a trend. We will start today from the trends that revolve around simpler physical and mental torture, to more definite tortures related solely to mental and physical attributes in the next parts of the series. Today we cover the trends of you doing all the work in a relationship, to you not being appreciated for what you do in a relationship, to the other person not doing much or anything for you in a relationship. So please sit down, relax, take a deep breath, hold on to those “will-fall-in-real-love-one-day” or “I-am-always-right-since-I-am-the-man/woman” thoughts in your heart, and start reading below.

1. You do all the work to keep the relationship running.

   This one is very simple to grasp, as the title says it all, yet very difficult to be realized. You, in the relationship, do most of the things to keep yourself and the other person happy in life. This point usually affects females, since we still live in a male-dominated world. Basically, you are responsible for everything important and critical in the relationship. If you do something wrong, the relationship suffers. If the other person does something wrong, the relationship does not suffer.

   Taking the example of a female in a relationship, like a girlfriend or a wife: if she has to cook, take care of children, clean the house, manage things around the house for the male, manage and handle the money, while the husband only brings in money or does things that are good for his own self and does not love the female, chances are that the relationship is one sided and the female is not an equal in the relationship. Such relationships can be seen in majority of the world, where the popular term, house wife, has come into play billions of times in different houses around the world. One partner does all the work and is always left behind or separate, while the other one does no work and is always ahead and in a better position and control.

   The sad thing is, many of such wives are happy with their situation and prefer to be in a household where the man controls their destinies and the man dictates the major decisions in life, while the major actions are performed by the female. How can you tell someone who knows what is happening and is satisfied with it, to change their life? It is hard, very very hard. You can force them to change or get out, but then you would be imposing your opinion onto their life, which would be the same thing their husbands or significant others do. If a person is happy with abuse or with being led forward by someone else, how can you easily change their life for the sole reason of making it happier? The solution can be either to let such people be happy in their lives, or to make such people go through a lot of interaction with others to be able to slowly create an idea of the depths and extents of other ideas and opinions; I will not go into that, as that can be the topic of another post.

   If you are in a relationship where you do everything and the other person, regardless of their gender, reaps all the benefits, try to figure out why you are in the relationship. Are you in it because you want to do all the work? Are you in it because you like to be told what to do? Are you in it because you are desperate to be with anyone and you do not want to be single? Are you in it because you love the other person so much that you are willing to let them dictate your life? Are you in it because you love the other person for being in control and you feel weak? You decide the answers to the above question, and then decide if you want to end such a relationship.

2. You are rarely appreciated.

   Ever seen a teenager gangster wannabe with low pants, long shirts, and no skill to earn money on his own? You will usually hear such a guy say “I don’t give a damn what others think fool!” Let me tell you something. Such gangster show-off wannabe’s are the most attention-wanting species in your neighborhood, and they care a lot about what others think. That is why they dress in such a manner, rarely apologize, rarely act considerate, and rarely show a human side that does not try to portray itself as being superior to others. Try it yourself: keep looking at such gangsters and they will get irritated, nervous, intimidated and they will end up saying “What the hell you looking at?” So much for them not caring “what others think fool!”

   In a relationship, you should be the opposite of a gangster child. Whether you are a guy or a girl, your relationship is affected greatly by many questions, including the question of whether or not you want the other person to think positively about you and appreciate you. While majority of the females are used to hearing “You look so beautiful” from guys, real people who want real relationships can slowly realize whether or not they are being sincerely appreciated by their significant others. The same way you get bored and even annoyed hearing “Wow you are such a good person” from people who never help you when you need help but they say such things when they need your help, why would you accept a relationship where you are rarely appreciated sincerely?

   A relationship does not only exist to allow two people to avoid suicide, but to live lives together and to sincerely let the other person know that their actions and thoughts are helping the other person, among a few other things. Such appreciation should come naturally and not at times when you are stuck in a situation or when you feel that appreciating the other person will get that person off your back. Still, many relationships exist where one person, usually the female, is rarely appreciated. This happens when there is an assumed mentality that the female is expected to do something.

   Have you ever noticed that stereotypical guys start appreciating more when they are aroused? Have you ever noticed that stereotypical girls start appreciating more when they need attention? All of such appreciation is stereotypical. Where is the real, sincere appreciation that comes even when the appreciation-giver does not need anything in return? When couples have fights, they start appreciating in order to show they should be forgiven. Have you ever seen someone in a relationship appreciate things after everything is over, and after the relationship ends? Of course not. We do not see such appreciation after a relationship ends, because then there is no more sex, money, attention or support. The only time when appreciation could be the most sincere is the time we start ignoring appreciation on purpose. And we wonder why majority of the couples in Northern and Southern Americas end up splitting even after 40+ years of marriage or being together.

   Why should you thank a person who breaks your window while drunk and then fixes it the next day when you catch him? Why should you thank your roommate for turning off the lights at night while you sleep? Why should you thank your neighbor for keeping the volume down at night when you sleep? Why should you thank your boss for paying you, when you do hard work that deserves money as a reward? Why should you thank a cop for not giving you a ticket when he/she does not even stop you? Why should you thank the credit card company for taking your money for the monthly bills? Why should you thank your wife for having children and going through pain that you as a man will rarely go through, when she is having children in a relationship that are not only for herself but for you also? Why should you thank your husband for earning money when he himself agreed to such an arrangement and you agreed to such an agreement also by marrying him?

   If you can realize any difference in the validity in each and every one of the above questions and the related concept of appreciation, you probably have the ability to realize when and why to appreciate someone. The choice is yours whether or not you want to appreciate. The choice and decision is also yours whether or not you wish to be in a relationship where the other person takes for granted what you do for yourself, for the relationships and for the other person.

3. You are not given any significant focus.

   There is a difference between appreciation and focus. Appreciation usually happens when the other person is reacting to your actions, letting you know somehow that he/she is very happy or satisfied and grateful that you are doing something that the other person likes, including the very act of staying in a relationship. Giving focus, on the other hand, can be viewed as the original action. If someone is appreciating you because you cared for them while they were sick, it is usually because you focused part of your life on that sick person. Thus, appreciation is the reaction if you wish to look at it from that view, and focus is the action. You focus on something, and get appreciated in return. We talked about appreciation in the above point. Let us now put our minds on the concept of having your significant other do things for you as part of their focus in life: them doing things without you asking for such things or without you doing things first.

   A lot of relationships have people that give majority of the focus in their life to things outside of the relationship. Again, usually, the victim of such a trend is the female. While many girls and ladies are all right with having money and not caring what their significant others do, majority of the guys end up not caring much about their significant others other than thinking that they are properties that are to be handled. This mentality results in husbands and many boyfriends not focusing on the essential parts of the female’s lives, like things they care about, things that affect their thinking and their mentality. Basically, these are the things that should affect any ethical being, and stereotypical people who constitute the majority fail to notice such ethical views of thinking.

   Think about your relationship as a bond: why are you with the other person when you cannot focus on the important things in their life without them doing something first? You focus on the other person but the other person does not return or give any focus. You do not have to lie from time to time simply to make the other person feel happy: I always told my ex I hated going shopping, yet I went, I complained, I walked around and also sincerely offered honest suggestions about different things. I slowly got used to it and never lied that I had no problems with it. Now here is the funny thing: slowly, when I went shopping for my own clothes, I realized that I had started taking longer times shopping for my own self also, and my ex had started developing an appetite for shopping faster than me. We had basically switched places. When I realized this, I started being more considerate on my own, and my ex realized this too.

   For guys, it is not that they have other focuses of attention other than shopping. That is a myth. Usually, when guys view girls as sexual objects, they end up not respecting a lot of things the girls do. The guys themselves end up faking a lot of things like enjoying shopping or talking about random things or even cooking. This is similar to the extra love you see coming from guys around Valentine’s Day, with guys trying to shower the girl with random gifts as if buying dog food for the dog. And of course, guys expect a lot of intimacy in return since they are doing so much for the girl as part of the original focus. It is very funny for me to see that the very humane and nice things that everyone should do on a normal basis, like showing emotions or doing nice things without expecting something in return, are considered to be weird. It is also funny that doing things sincerely we may not like, but that our significant other may like, while also being honest in our efforts to help the other person, are considered too soft by majority of the people, and usually attributed to being a quality of the sensitive females. And we say we do not live in a male dominated society.

   If your significant other usually lies about showing interest in your life or your significant other does things in order to get something in return like money or sex, your significant other is not doing things that focus on you. People have their own lives, agreed, but relationships are about both maintaining individualism and a shared life at the same time. I have rarely heard of guys who cook something for their girl friends and do not seek something in return. Stereotypical guys will want intimacy or some favor in return. How about cooking something and simply wanting to hear “Food tasted good” in return and nothing else? Maybe I cooked really bad food most of the time, so I longed to hear only “Hmm, wow tastes good, nice job! Next time try adding more salt and that will fix the taste completely“, so I always have tried to focus on fewer or no rewards in relationships other than the mental ones.

Initiating the change to eliminate the above trends

In many situations and areas, you cannot simply end a relationship because of situations like having a child or because of being in a marriage where it is not easy for a female or a male to take a break from an abusive or uncaring relationship unless the other person asks for it first. In such cases, start looking for outside consultation and legal help, but also maintain a very quiet atmosphere. See what your options are, how you can try to improve things, how you can try to make the other person realize that they can act differently in some areas of the relationship to make things easier and happier for you.

Remember one thing: anyone who tells you “Never try to change or ask someone in a relationship to change for you: accept people 100% for what they are” are fools and not your friends; such people are those who do not change anything in the world and wish to be dictated around because they are too weak to realize something may be wrong in different things in the universe. Sure, love a person for what he/she already is, but also let them know what to do in order for the relationship to click. Relationship does not happen because you look for a compatible person: relationship happens because you look for a person who is willing to be compatible with you.

Till next time

There you go, my relationship-advice-mastering of a reader. The above 3 points, from personal experience and from observation of other people’s relationships, will hopefully tell you more about the ways some relationships are fatal. Many people expect others to do all the work or majority of the work in a relationship, which will be bad for you, regardless of whether you are the person expecting the work or the person doing the work. Many people also do not realize the efforts their significant others make in order to please them, and instead treat most of the things as being expected, or with a mild and fake show of appreciation. Lastly for this article, and not least for this series, there are many people who never try to take any initiative to do things for you to show any kind of appreciation for anything on a sincere and honest level.

The above trends and situations can let you know whether or not something is happening in the relationship, due to the other person in the relationship, which may make you unhappy being in that relationship. Instead of telling your significant other this very moment “Yo! I read this thing that Bes wrote, and I finally realized that you don’t appreciate me! I’m outta here loser! You can’t control my life!“, you should actually think as to what makes you unhappy or unsatisfied and talk to your significant other about it. If that does not change things or if you have already talked about it, you decide what you would like to do. Remember, in the end, it may always be the hardest for you since you are the one enduring or ending the relationship.

Thank you for reading

Next time, I will talk about relationships that have certain trends related to sex, money and your gender. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or ideas on how some of the above things or trends may be different from what you observe. Also, please let me know via e-mail or through the comments if you wish to find out my views on certain trends that you may have noticed. I have about 13 trends planned out so far: I will be more than satisfied and grateful if I can find more trends that may be hurting people in relationships. Maybe I will come across a trend that has affected me in the past, or I may learn of a new trend that I had not previously thought about or experienced. Also, please let me know if you wish to see this series in a little bit different format that may help you read and understand the series better and in a more organized manner. If you noticed a recurring trend in the above 3 points, here it is again as a summary: one person simply enjoys the relationship due to the efforts of someone else doing all the work and giving all the appreciation and focus.

Till then, thank you for reading, relax, and be happy that you are going to hopefully realize more things about relationships from this series, things you may have thought are too small or important to be analyzed. Figure out what problems you are facing in your relationship and why, bring them up to the attention of the person who is causing such problems, and then decide what you would like to do.

Thank you for reading.

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The following 7 things should be avoided if you are a newcomer to my car and my life. Of course, if you are a friend, I will let you know how such things may be affecting the car, me, my driving habit, or Mars.

1. Opening the car windows without asking

   In some parts of the world, the temperature of the atmosphere inside the car may not change much, regardless of whether or not the car windows are open. In California and many other states, opening the car window can seriously alter the temperature. If it is freezing outside and I have the air conditioner at full or even medium heat, you coming into the car and opening the window immediately will cause the whole project of turning on the heater in my poor car for a long time to heat things up to fail. Similarly, in the scorching heat, opening the car door or the window without thinking first will let out all the cold air, and will take another 5-10 minutes to be recreated at its previous state. If you are wearing a big coat or only a t-shirt, ask and let me know so I can prepare myself too, or maybe I can offer you my extra jacket or somehow stop the car so you can take off your extra jacket.

   One person used to get in my car with his thick jacket and then open the window immediately while the heater was running at fast speed. I would tell him I was freezing and that I can turn down the heater or even turn it off, and he would start telling me that he was feeling hot, and if there was a way to turn up the cold air in the car somehow. He would say all of this while he kept the car window open and kept his thick jacket on. By the time he would close the window, the entire car would be freezing. When it comes to me, just assume there is a reason for everything. If in doubt, ask and think. Getting into a warm car wearing a thick jacket while in the cold weather outside means you may have to endure about a minute or two of the change in temperature and adjustment while you get used to the inside weather. Taking off your jacket instead of making the other person uncomfortable is a very good alternative, and if you cannot take off the jacket easily while sitting down, ask me to stop somewhere or to watch out while you sway your hands all around the place in an effort to take off your own jacket.

2. Spitting out of a moving car

   Spitting out of a car is not only rude for many people, it is also illegal in many areas. And guess who usually gets a ticket or gets into trouble? The driver of the car. If you have to spit for any reason, come up with some alternative or tell me to pull to the side.

   Long time ago a friend of mine was driving and I was a passenger in his car. He tried on a mouth wash while driving, and forgot that he had to spit out the mouth wash after about 30 seconds since the mouth wash would start burning really bad after that. Well, we were on the freeway and he was in pain after about 2 minutes of trying to hold the mouth wash. I laughed, I giggled, and I told him to simply spit it out in some lane where there were no cars since he was in pain. There were no side shoulders that he could not pull over on. He kept the acid in his mouth for about 15 minutes, probably to the point that the pain had turned into something else and he was starting to act weird. He was smiling too, but was in pain at the same time. When the first exit came, he took it and spat the mouthwash out. I asked him if he was ok. He said yes, and said that it would have been mean or bad to spit the acid out in case the “spit” hit some other car.

   Now compare that to a passenger I had in my car who was eating some fast food. He accidentally ate some small dust particle or hair or something, and could feel it on his tongue. He started hissing and spitting with a bit closed mouth, as if to try to get rid of whatever was in his mouth that did not belong there. And he did that while in the car. I had drops of spit all over my dashboard and the gearbox. He did not apologize, he did not care, he did not even joke about it. It was all normal to him. It was normal to me too, but normal as being normally bad.

3. Having the driver pick up unexpected extra passengers

   One of the worst things you can do to a driver giving you a ride is to tell them at the last minute that some of your other friends need a ride too. Whether those extra passengers live near or far is not the focus of this point: keeping the driver in the dark and then making them do extra things is the same as lying, hiding, manipulating or simply not caring. Ask the driver first, and have the extra passenger ask and thank the driver also for doing a favor to someone they are not that close to.

   I have had so many “Oh also go here, we have to pick up my girlfriend/boyfriend boss/friend homie/buddy etc“, it is very interesting. If I charged money for every extra passenger I have given a ride to, I could have made a lot of money that could have gone towards years of gas payments.

4. Not allowing the driver to make his/her own stops

   Not all drivers have to drive only to give you a ride. Some have to do their own things. If someone gives you a ride and they stop somewhere, do not get upset: you should tell the driver in advance uf you have to get somewhere by a certain time, and you should also realize that you may be late since it is someone else’s car.

   I once stopped at a gas station to buy some Kit Kat while giving someone a ride and when I got back, they looked all upset and kept hinting that they do not like making stops while going somewhere. If you have to get somewhere on time or if you have some requirements, you should keep in mind that I have some requirements too. Accommodate the driver into your plans, since apparently the driver has already accommodated you into their life and car by giving you a ride.

5. Giving instant directions

   If you have to tell the driver to make a right, tell them about it a minute or even 20 seconds before the “right” comes up. Telling the driver to make a right when the very intersection he/she has to make a right on is already intersecting the length of car itself, is usually not a good thing for many cars.

   I have people who even say “Right here, oh damn you missed the exit.” Yeah, I missed the exit, not you. Such instant-direction givers cannot even tell me to turn right on time, but they expect me to turn a multi-ton car instantly while other cars go parallel to mine. Tell me in advance or simply say “We have to make a right soon” so I can be ready for your instant orders.

6. Not pitching in for gas

   If you are getting a ride from someone, specially a new person, see if it is costing them a lot to give you a ride. Going on a long drive or going shorter distances regularly consumes gas, and gas is money. It does not matter whether or not gas is cheap: someone is giving you a ride and they are losing/spending money on top of it. See if you can chip in some money, or tell the driver that you do not have money to chip in so that driver can at least realize that you calculated their misery into the equation also.

   I have had people’s friends ask me for rides to faraway places, and on the way when I fill up the car at a gas station, they do not offer anything nor do they care about it. They simply wait in the car to make sure that I get back on the road again as soon as possible.

7. Not knowing the exact directions to where you are going

   Imagine getting in a car and telling someone to take you to a place that you do not know the location about. Unless it’s a major place or you know the nearest intersection, the driver will not know where you are going.

   I have had people get in the car and then tell me to head towards a city, and then when I get close and ask them where to go, they tell me “McDonald’s there, have to meet some people.” There are usually several McDonald’s in each city, so I have to do some searching and hunting while the passenger gets impatient over being late. It is a waste of time and a waste of energy for the driver. If you want a ride, know where you want to go or let the driver know well in advance, before the actual ride, that you do not know the exact directions.

   “I want to get to the Thai restaurant in Berkeley“, Berkeley being a city with dozens of Thai restaurants, is the same as wanting to go to a specific gas station or a restaurant in a city but not knowing the name, type of place of that gas station or restaurant. Have directions ready, or at least do some homework and have something for the driver to go on. If you let the driver know in advance that you want to go somewhere but do not know how to get there, the driver may be nice enough to do the homework for you.

There you go. The above 7 points, combined with Part 1 and Part 2, tell you about the 21 things to avoid or think about when getting a ride from someone you may not know, or me. The reason I said before that these points apply to those people who are not your friends is to show that since you are not someone’s friend, you have to consider these points that may upset, annoy or frustrate the driver or the drivers’ friends in the same car, and among other things, cause the driver to lose time and money. Friends can easily tell friends “What the heck! haha hmmm ” and thus teach friends how some actions or things may result in more harm than good for the driver.

What is your opinion about this? Have you experience any of these points yourself, either expectedly or unexpectedly, either as a driver, a passenger, or the person doing any of the above things?

Thank you so much for reading. I enjoyed writing this series for you. Please let me know if you have any questions, suggestions, or if you think I can muster up more points and continue this series a bit more.

Thank you again.

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Obligations of a shipping company during shipping delays

For me, keeping both me and the sender in the dark about the reason for the delay is something that should not happen. As a customer, you are assumed to have an obligation to make a payment before the shipping company will take your package. The shipping company itself, however, does not feel obligated to some things it should do for customers or the package. Behold below the 4 obligations that I think shipping companies like FedEx should feel responsible for, when it comes to delayed deliveries:

1. Notify the sender after they make a payment

   Did you notify either the sender or the receiver about the reason for the delay after the sender pays for the shipment? Simply saying “On route for delivery” for 2 days in a row through the online tracking system tells me nothing. I know it is on route for delivery: that is why I am paying to have the item shipped. What I want to know is what kind of a route is causing the delivery of the package to be delayed, and I want you to tell me immediately, automatically, when any delay happens.

2. Notify the sender before they make the payment

   Did you notify the sender of any possible delays in the shipment of an item before they paid? If the shortage in staff has been going on for “weeks“, as FedEx told the sender’s secretary, would it not have been responsible for FedEx to tell the sender, before they placed the shipping order. The shipping company can say something like “You are sending this item overnight, but we have to tell you that because of the shortage of staff in the area where this package is going, we may not be able to deliver this item faster than the regular post office.”?

3. Refund the wasted money

   Did the shipping company reimburse the sender for the money they paid for an overnight delivery that took 4 days to deliver in reality? Sure, telling the sender that no overnight delivery is 100% confirmed is a good protection idea, but if you know you are not going to have enough staff to deliver items beforehand, how about reimbursing the sender some of the money they could have saved by shipping using a slower shipping method? The sender paid for overnight delivery, and the package got delivered after 4 days. The sender paid money for a service they did not get because the shipping company hid the fact that there could be delays due to staff shortage.

4. Apologize voluntarily and sincerely

   Imagine someone takes your money in order to do something for you, but the thing they actually do is not worth the money you gave to that person. That someone never apologizes to you until you inquire about the situation, to which they say “Oh yeah, the people I knew could not be found, thus the result was not what you expected. You should have expected it since anything can happen. Sorry”

   Would you consider such a reply to be an apology? If you do not think it is sincere or even an apology, why would you accept a similar apology from a shipping company? How many of us are not robots who would love to hear a sincere apology without us asking for it? An apology is not needed because of wanting emotional attention. An apology because you hid information from me so that you could wast my money, time and plans for your own gain. Very few businesses realize that: that is why most businesses simply keep saying sorry without feeling guilty or even knowing how the customer was affected.

Shortage in staff does not always have to amount to the suffering of the customer

The above points are what a shipping company should keep in mind. Simply being short on staff, which can either be signs of an innocent struggle or bad management, does not mean the only one suffering is the customer. In the above case, FedEx got all the money knowing full hand there would be delays, delivered the item late, and did not notify either the sender or the receiver about the reason for the late delivery. In the end, the winner was FedEx which got more money than what it actually provided in return to the sender and the receiver. In the end, the people who suffered were the direct and indirect customers: the sender who paid for the overnight shipping and the receiver who received the item late.

What do you think?

What do you think? As a customer, do you think a shipping company can do anything differently than what FedEx did above? If you owned or worked for a shipping company, what would you have done in a similar position? Would you have acted the same, or differently?

Oh, before I forget, I went to a FedEx Kinko’s store on Thursday to send a package overnight, and saw around 12 staff workers. 7 were working, while 5 were laughing and talking to each other in different areas. Maybe those 5 should be turned into drivers who can deliver packages in case of “shortage in staff.” The package did get delivered by Friday noon, which was good.

Thank you for reading.

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Yesterday, I was going through my mail and noticed, as usual, a lot of junk mail. I started wondering if there were people out there who deliberately read other people’s junk mail. Sure, junk mail may not be as important in your view as other forms of mail. However, if junk mail comes in the name of someone else, it belongs to that someone else technically, according to mailing standards at least.

Is junk mail therefore the private property of other people, just like private non-commercial letters from friends, family and other people? Is any form of mail the complete private property, in your view, of the person it was addressed to?

Do you read other people’s junk mail?

Even if the original person, in whose name the junk mail came, does not want the junk mail, can you still read and use their junk mail and coupons? Do you think junk mail should be considered the same as any other mail? Or does junk mail that is addressed to other people receive a different treatment from you? Do you read other people’s junk mail? Or do you do something else with it?

Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading. I have to go now and throw out some junk mail that I got today.

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In this series and whenever I say poor, I am referring to someone who will become happy or happier saving a couple of dollars or their local currency every month or every few days. Without such a saving, that person would not be able to afford rent or food or something very basic and essential to survival. If you wish to know a bit more as to what does and does not qualify as being poor, my article titled “5 Reasons You Are Not Poor In 2007” may help. I will be updating my poor guide to a 2008 definition very soon.

The below steps and ideas are not technical steps, nor are they the exact steps that you must take in order to save money by changing your electricity usage habits. All of the below steps have worked for me sometime in the past all the way up till today, though with varying degrees of results. If you are poor and desperately in need of saving money, this can help you get started along with anything else you have in mind. This first part of the series focuses on reducing your electricity bill expenses. As you read along, you may realize that each and everything described here is an extremely simple concept, so simple that you yourself may have thought of it but may have never gotten around to actually thinking about implementing it. I have subdivided different parts so that it can be easier to get the concept also.

Measure your meter first please, if possible

Before you do anything, it would be extremely good if you can go this very moment and take a look at your electric meter. Since you are focusing on your electricity usage, it is a very good idea to look at your electric meter. This meter is usually located at the side of houses, or at the back of the apartment complexes; it has to be located in an easy to find location, yet not right in front of the house all the time, so that the electric company technicians can have easy access to it when needed. Simply walk around your building or unit and you will see it sticking onto some wall, usually facing outside.

This is a meter which will have a revolving dial on it that measures the rate of electricity consumption in your very unit; this should be a very thin silver dial, and it will be moving. The faster the dial, the higher the electricity consumption is. Take a look at this dial and take note of any kind of a mark on the dial that you can use to see how many seconds it takes for the dial to rotate one full cycle, meaning the amount of time it takes for that mark to disappear and reappear at the exact same place.

Also, please remember the days and dates that you perform the below steps. Making a note of such dates and days will help later in figuring out whether or not you save electricity consumption in the end.

5 Practical steps to survive with different electricity usage: Unplug things

It would be an amazing thing if you could make a mental note of everything that you pay the electric bill for. This includes all the wall outlets, all things outside your house like outside lights and patio lights, the built-in microwaves which cannot be turned off easily, the electronic heat thermostats, and more. Knowing every available option that can be used to consume your electricity helps in realizing what is using electricity and how.

1. Unplug your hungry-for-electricity kitchen.

   Except your fridge if it has food in it, disconnect everything in your kitchen including your oven, microwave oven, toaster, and any other electronics from the wall outlets when not using them. Simply turning them off will not be sufficient many times. Many things like ovens and microwaves keep consuming electricity even when not in use.

2. Unplug all chargers.

   Disconnect all cell phone, laptop and any other chargers from the wall outlets when not charging or when they have charged completely. Many chargers keep consuming electricity in the form of discharges to the electronics they charge, while others consume electricity in order to show a small light which lets you know that they are connected to a power source. Either way, they keep consuming electricity if plugged into the wall outlet.

3. Make computers, monitors and televisions love the black screen of rest.

   Instead of using screen savers, simply turn off your monitors, computers and TVs whenever not in use and unplug them from the power outlet. Leaving the monitor on during the night still consumes electricity, unless your monitor can turn itself off after some time of inactivity. Why not turn it off directly? Turn off your computer completely at night if possible. If you must watch TV to fall asleep, set it to turn off automatically with a sleep timer. You will need to think how long it usually takes you to fall asleep and program your TV accordingly.

4. Unplug your heaters and A/Cs.

   Turn off and disconnect from the wall outlets all heaters and A/Cs when they are not in use. You will have to depend on your body feelings and not on the thermostat or automatic sensors to keep changing the temperature.

5. Unplug the pluggable house

   Disconnect everything else from the walls in the entire house when not in use, and turn off everything that cannot be disconnected easily. This means that all the wall outlet sockets must be empty unless they have something inside them that you are currently, actively and directly using at that very moment. This applies to air fresheners, night sensor lights, fish tank lights, exhaust fans, empty fridges and freezers, printers, modems, lamps, vacuum cleaners, etc.

   By anything, I mean anything. All the wall outlets of any kind should be completely unused unless something that you absolutely need is turned on fully and working. Everything in the house that cannot be unplugged and that is not being used should be turned off.

The above wall-socket-disconnection steps will overall save you at least about $1 to $4 a month in the United States, and a different amount in other countries.

If such kind of a saving seems to be too low for you to even try it, you are probably not poor or desperate enough, or you are poor and have needs that unfortunately do not allow some of all of the above steps to be taken. Please let me know if that is the case and I will offer suggestions based on your situation.

9 Practical electricity-conservation lifestyle trends:

With practical steps come the philosophy that dictate these steps and vice versa. You need to change your living habits and any habit that involves electricity. The following tricks will help you change your life style so that you will make different electric usage habits a part of your current life. You can start experimenting with these trends immediately. I am using a simple explanation approach throughout this article, if you have not already noticed.

1. Steal electricity from your car

   Use the car charger to charge your electronics in the car. Places like Radio Shack sell a lot of car chargers for different electronics, ranging from laptops to cell phones to mp3 players. Buying a charger may cost you around $10 to $15, and saving the electricity in your home will save you around $1 to $2 for each thing you charge at your home. Some universal car chargers allow a lot of different things to be charged using the same chargers. If the charger is expensive or over $20, you should figure out whether using the charger at home or other places [described below] will be a better option.

2. Deceive your laptop into giving you electricity

   Use the laptop to charge your electronics. A lot of electronics like newer cell phones and mp3 players come with USB cables for syncing. Majority of these cables also charge your electronic devices while they are syncing. Leave your device connected to the laptop until you see that the battery charge icon on your electronic device is showing a fully charged notification.

3. Create the concept of public electricity at public places

   Use the public libraries or educational and cafe outlets to charge your electronics. Places like many Starbucks will gladly allow you to use their wall outlets in return for you buying their coffee or something else. Buying coffee costs also, so using colleges or public libraries may be a cheaper option.

4. Make daily places that you visit the venue for your daily tasks

   Use your nearby university or college for different stuff. For example, you can not only charge your electronics at public libraries or other places, but you can use microwave ovens at colleges and universities. You can also use the computers at the public libraries and nearby community colleges and universities to browse the internet or do other computer stuff. Many places allow you to print up to a certain amount of pages for free each day, while also allowing you to use their computers as much as you wish. This will save all the electricity that is needed to use your microwave at home for small things or things that can be delayed, and also for many computer and printing related tasks.

5. Start dating only rechargeable and free batteries

   Use rechargeable batteries only and recharge those batteries in your car or the laptop. Many places now sell batteries that you can recharge using a USB plug or a car charger. Buying them will save you money in both battery costs and also in recharging those batteries through your laptop or in your car.

   Stop recharging batteries at your home, if you have rechargeable batteries, and get free batteries. I read an article somewhere a few weeks ago which talked about batteries present in all disposable cameras that you can reuse; I cannot find the link to that article again, unfortunately. You can open up a disposable camera after you are done with it and use the actual batteries inside it for your normal use. You can even ask photo labs to get your or other people’s unwanted disposable camera batteries to you after the photos have been grabbed from them

6. Give your electronics some life support only when they are near their deaths

   Plug in your laptops and cell phones with their chargers into wall outlets only when they are within 20% to 15% of their empty life capacity. This goes for both your own and other wall outlets. Not leaving the laptop and the cell phones connected to the wall outlets all the time saves electricity. Forget the advice that leaving new cell phones connected to their chargers all the time improves battery life by a few percentage points: while that advice is true, your focus here is to save money by saving electricity, and not to prolong the life of the battery, even though that is a noble cause too. Your cell phone battery should easily last you a year or two with regular usage.

7. Fire the fan; hire the window

   Instead of turning on the A/C or even the fan during summer, open each and every window in the house about half way, and make sure nothing obstructs them directly. You can put a small cover or even a notebook for privacy if you wish. Leave all the inside doors open in the house. With air coming in from every room in the house and all the rooms open, the circulating air will create a very nice flow of air in about an hour unless your unit is built or blocked like a stuffed labyrinth. Make sure you close any doors to any rooms that do not have a window, like closets, bathrooms with only ventilators, laundry rooms and more.

   In winter, instead of turning the heater or the A/C with a heater on, close all the windows and the doors of the rooms with windows in them and instead open up the doors to places like your kitchen, your closets and your laundry room. This will rotate the cycle and allow more closed/hot areas to be able to waste the cold air.

8. Build seasonal relationships with your rooms

   Adapt your habits around rooms with the least power consumption. For example, if during summer one of the rooms is the coolest and you are feeling too warm, move your most active activities, like doing your homework or using your laptop, to that room, while making sure that you limit any introduction of new electricity usage into that room. Do the opposite during winter, moving into the hottest room of the house if you are feeling too cold. Leave most doors open during summer, and leave most doors and windows closed during winters.

9. Make your home the backup home

   This is also one of the most practical steps that can also change your life from the day you start doing it: move most of your activities out of your house. Go to the library to study or use your laptop there or charge your phone there. Go to the nearest public garden or something else that may help you relax. Use public computers to do your MySpacing or whatever it is that you do online to stalk others or be stalked. Exercise outside, even in your patio or in the parking lot somewhere early in the morning or late at night if you are shy or want to hide yourself while exercising If it is summer, go to the library and enjoy the nice cool atmosphere there. If it is the winter, do the same and places like a library or university buildings will be warmer than the outside.

The above brief guide is a practical pointer to some very basic things that can help curb electricity consumption immediately. The batteries step alone will save you around $8 to $25 every year or so, averaging to about $1 to around $2 of savings per month that you get usually every 6 to 9 months, depending on how often you usually buy batteries.

Measure your meter and observe your detailed electric bills

After about 12 hours of following any of the above lifestyle tips, go back out and recheck the electric meter. Measure its speed again using the same exact measurement and compare it to the previous 2 measurements. Has the dial slowed down? While this is not the perfect measurement to see whether or not you are consuming less electricity, the dial itself should hopefully let you know that you have started to save electricity. The next electric bill should reflect that change also.

If you wish and if your electric company allows it, you can request a detailed daily summary bill that will tell you the daily consumption by your apartment or house. That way, you can see how the electric consumption had been for about 20-50 days before you tried the above steps, and how it turned out to be after you tried any of the above steps. If you want to plan even more, you can perform different steps or combination of the above steps every 2 to 3 days and then see the detailed bill to see how big of a drop in electric usage each step or combinatorial step brought for you every 2 to 3 days.

If you pay your electricity bill directly to a landlord of any sort, let that landlord know that you have reduced your electricity consumption and ask them if you could work out a lower electric bill by looking at the bill. If the landlord does not wish to share the bill, have them analyze it to see the drop in the electric consumption.

Thank you for reading. Do you feel the poor electric shock yet?

I hope the above article helps you in even the least form to save some money by changing your habits that revolve around electricity consumption. Remember, being poor is a blessing that can be further changed to become a blessing with money, but wasting money can be one of the biggest curses, specially if you do not have enough money for things that you consider basic and essential to your survival.

What do you think of the above steps or guidelines? Do you think some or all of them could work in most or all situations? Do you have any experience with any of the above? Would you recommend or not recommend anything? Do you have any tips, suggestions or comments of your own? Please let me know what you think.

The next time we continue this series, I will show you the Poor Practical Guide to Surviving Without Much Money by selling stuff that you already have.

Thank you for reading. Long live the poor and the not so poor!

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The Wrong Number Dilemma

When you call and run into the “wrong number” situation, after you hang up, you really do not know which of the 2 possible reasons, from the person dialing the wrong number to the person dialing a number at which a certain person used to live long time ago, are the root of the resulting situation. All you focus on are the two hypnotizing words, “Wrong Number.” These words are hypnotizing because as soon as you hear them, your first instinct as the caller is to hang up as soon as possible.

So what is the dilemma? As the caller, the dilemma is the question that pops up: did I call the wrong number, or did the person who used to be at that number now have a new number, and I did dial the right number? As the receiver, the dilemma is wondering how the other person got that specific number in the first place. Sure, we can simply say or hear the two magic words and hang up the phone, but the issue remains with the phone for a long time. It is as if we do not care or even think of finding out what is going on, and we say “wrong number” to get rid of the other person or to get the clue that we should get lost as soon as possible.

It is one of those situations where majority of the people do not want to know what happened; they simply want to find out the right number as the caller or to move on as the receiver.

The typical caller

As a caller, we usually do one of the following things during and after the wrong number call:

• Say “Oh sorry” and hang up
• Say “Oh ok” and hang up
• Say “Ok” and hang up
• Simply hang up without saying anything
• Say “What do you mean I have the wrong number?” and do not hang up. Someone asked me this question when I told them they had dialed the wrong number. I was quiet for about a second or two, and then said “Well, you picked up the phone, dialed a number and then asked me for someone and that person is not associated with the number you dialed, thus you have reached a wrong number.” The guy simply hung up, probably unamused at my answer.

The typical receiver

As the person receiving the call, you pretty much, and so far, are limited in your choices, to the following three:

• “Wrong number“
• “No one here by that name. Must have the wrong number.“
• Simply hang up without saying anything back to the caller.

But you, as the receiver, always have the power to make the other person hang up. The keywords to make the other party hang up are “wrong number.” Many callers wait for you to finish saying things before they hang up, while many other callers simply hang up when they hear the dreaded “wrong number” chant.

The hypnotizing chant = Wrong Number

As the person saying the “wrong number” hypnotizing chant, you usually expect nothing from the caller other than them hanging up the phone. In fact, you usually say the words “wrong number” as a way to indirectly control the other person’s actions and to make the other person hang up. You control the actions of the caller: you can make him or her hang up the phone any time you wish by saying those two words. Rarely do you encounter people who do not hang up within 5 seconds of hearing the words “wrong number.” They are usually smart people trying to act smart, confused people, rude people, harassers, stalkers and more.

The revised polite Wrong Number Dilemma

In practical life, I personally expect both parties to at least have an old style conversation that goes like:

“Hi, can I speak with Marilyn please?”
“Oh I think you have the wrong number”
“Oh ok/thanks/sorry bye”
“No problem bye”
Both sides hang up.

That “Wrong Number” conversation is polite in its own micro-sense, and it is complete. Of course, as you can see, it does not convey any useful information other than Marilyn being equal to a wrong number. “Marilyn” and “Wrong number” are the only 2 sets of words in the entire conversation which are useful overall to many people. The caller has only one focus: “Marilyn.” The receiver has only one focus: “Wrong Number.” The caller and the receiver agree to hang up because they realize they agree on one fact: Marilyn equals to a wrong number for that very phone call.

The revised Wrong Number Situation – Dilemma addressed

I suggest a clearer communication to deal with the situation:

How about, in order to be clearer, after hearing the hypnotizing words, you as the caller asks “Can I tell you what number I called so I can see whether I dialed the wrong number by mistake or if the number I have is the right number but the person I am looking for has changed numbers?”

As the receiver, how about after hypnotizing the caller, you ask “No one here by that name. What number did you call?”

Both ways, the caller can know whether they actually did dial the wrong number by mistake or if they dialed the right number but the person they are looking does not have that number anymore. That way, instead of the wrong number situation being a dilemma where both you and the caller wonder how you two met in this universe, you will have a better idea of what set of events resulted in the two of you coming across each other’s voices over the phone.

Next time, inquire before hanging up

The next time you you get or call a wrong number, instead of looking forward to hanging up, you can try to look forward to figuring out how you ended up on that very call, while still on the phone. Should you not know why you do the things you do or how you end up in different situations? I do, because my phone is still ringing and I would love to know more about why Marilyn is thought to be at my number.

Remember, it is not a wrong number until you find out it is the wrong number. And I am not Marilyn until I say I am.

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1. Telling the driver how to drive no matter how they drive

   Avoid telling the driver how to drive. Notice the words “Avoid telling” and not “Never tell” in this point. Avoid telling the driver how to drive if it is for small things that you yourself may be doing in some ways when you drive, or things that the driver may be used to while they drive. If the driver is driving fast and changing lanes very quickly, causing the whole car to suddenly tilt from time to time, you can go ahead and tell the driver to slow down as your life and safety is on the line. However, if the driver is driving and you keep telling her or him that they should drive with one hand on the wheel or both hands, as an example, try to think first if the current driving by the driver is dangerous or if the driver knows what she/he is doing and usually drives like that.

   I knew someone once who always told me not to show left/right turn signals when changing lanes, to stop completely at all stop signs, to always change lanes while maintaining same speed instead of slowing down to keep in the same lane, to honk at all other drivers who did not know how to drive, etc. Stop dictating everything: sure, tell me everything on your mind if you wish, but who cares which lane I drive in, as long as we get there on time and as long as I am driving safe?

2. Smoking, eating and drinking in the car without asking

   This is extremely important. I never try to eat in someone else’s car, and if I do, I eat as if my life depended on how clean I keep the car. I have had people who come into the car without knowing me much and starting to eat, drink or smoke right away. Forget that smoking kills or does any harm: I do not care about that since everyone around is usually already smoking and my lungs are starting to have DNA from other people on a regular basis. What I care about is the smell in the car: I get in the car and I can feel I am the Marlboro Man simply because my car smells like mint, tobacco and nicotine.

   One of the people who got a ride in my car would start lighting up the cigarette right in my car, and after smoking, she would ask where the ashtray was. My car does not have an ashtray, and she would honestly forget that every time. Then she would scramble around the car to look for something to put the cigarette buds in, while the ashes and the burnt cigarette bud pieces fell around my car. In the end, she would end up throwing the buds and the falling tobacco and smoked cigarette wrapper out of the window. Another guy used to eat his regular dose of Carl’s Jr. in my car and would usually leave some fries and lettuce that dropped from his mouth. If I can pick up leftovers from what adults eat and be good at it, maybe I can be a good parent and be good at cleaning up after babies too?

3. Throwing litter out of the window

   I am not sure how people who meet someone for the first time start throwing stuff out of those new people’s car from the minute they get in. And they do it while not caring about whether or not a cop might see them. If you throw stuff out of the car, it might hit some other car or the driver may get a ticket for littering. Forget the stereotypical advice “If you don’t throw trash in your home, why do you throw trash onto the streets?” That is a stupid message. What I am referring to is the idea of meeting someone for the first time, and throwing stuff out of the window without wondering whether or not the driver will be comfortable with it. It is your trash when it is being thrown out: it is the trash coming out of the car that belongs to the driver.

   I knew someone once who would go through his mail while in the car and any junk mail that he did not want, he would roll it up and throw it out of the window. I would always ask him what he threw out, but he would act as if I was asking a very sensitive question. Other people’s trash is not my business, I agree; however, my car is a driving vehicle and not a experimental garbage-shooting device for new people, so I would like to know what is being thrown out in case a cop stops us.

   Once a guy threw his soda can right through my driver-side window, instead of his passenger-side window, while we were driving on the freeway. The glass soda bottle hit my nose on the side and then flew out of the car. I immediately wondered if I had been attacked and the guy simply missed me. I started bleeding that very instant: I looked at the guy and said “What the $%^&!!??” The guy was genuinely sorry and said something along the lines of “OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY!! Just wanted to throw it out from your side since on my side there are cars and on your side there are no cars…didn’t think it would hit you SORRY ” Even then, what the heck?

4. Making extra stops without asking first

   Similar to getting extra passengers, if you have to make extra stops, tell the driver immediately. The driver may have something in mind, and they may also have to make stops of their own. Your new unexpected stops can result in the driver losing time and not being able to do things they changed or modified in order to accommodate your ride in the first place. Try to be very explicit and transparent when asking for favors. Even if you are robbing banks, tell the driver “I have to stop by these 4 banks to try to see if I can get a good student deal on a savings account.”

   I have had people wanting to go to banks, their friend’s places, shopping stores and even restaurants while on their way to someplace else. Many times, I end up canceling whatever I had originally planned. I do not mind making extra stops, since I usually prefer making extra stops many times myself too. What I do not understand is the claim that people forget to tell me they had to make the extra stops until they get in the car or when they get near a place. Some people have even told me “Oh, take this road, I prefer this road” and then when we get to a place where they want to make an unexpected stop using the road they told me to take, they say “Oh, I just remembered, I have to stop at so and so.” Maybe I should make dozens of unexpected stops while giving rides also.

5. Refusing to put on the seat belt

   This used to be a big deal before, when drivers used to get tickets for any passengers who had not put on their seat belts. Nowadays, anyone not putting on the seat belt gets into trouble themselves unless I am mistaken. However, when you get into someone else’s car for the first time, ask them if it is ok not to put on a seat belt. Ask if the other driver is ok with it; they would want to think over whether or not they are willing to go through a police pull-over because of the seat belt.

   I have had a few people who would meet me for the first time and sit up front and not put on their seat belts, even when I reminded or asked them if they could. Sure, they have a choice to say no when I ask them, but these people would actually get offended at me asking them about the seat belt. By the way, I hate putting on seat belts overall, and I never put on a seat belt when sitting in the back unless the drivers tells me to, which I also try to avoid if possible.

6. Leaving garbage in the car

   Many people think my car is a garbage trailer because my car is dark green. They will come in with food, cigarette wrappers, books and receipts, and they will usually leave something behind like napkins, lettuce, receipts, empty or even full soda drinks, etc. Why assume that someone is ok with the garbage that you yourself despise? Forget the rule “Do onto others that you want others to do to you.” Why would anyone want your garbage in their cars?

   I have had a few passengers come in my car and leave their full blown garbage behind, knowingly. They actually pick it up and put it on the back seat while they are leaving the car. Many people come in and leave a lot of their garbage as a memory tribute to me. The cute girl leaves me her McDonald’s bag as I might use it to carry my books and look at it to remember her. The smelly guy leaves the tomato so that I can smell it to remember how bad he smelled. The tall guy leaves his used napkins so I can clean my car with them and remember how he used to sneeze in them. The weird girl leaves her receipt for fast food in my car, every time, so that I can remember what she bought and so that I can remember the prices for different things that Jack in the Box sells.

7. Not locking the car doors when exiting the car

   Not all car doors have automatic locks. In fact, more cars have manual locks than automatic locks. That is why when you exit a car, make sure you get to lock at least your own door. If you go to someone’s house and exit from the back door while the house owner exits from the front and both of you are going to some other house, you will think about locking the back door, right? Try doing the same with the car, or at least try asking if the doors should be locked manually.

   I have had many people exit the car when we go to the movies or someplace else, and when I get back to the car, their side of the door was not locked. I have had many valuable belongings in the car many times, and each time the person simply asks “Ohh, you don’t have automatic locks?” If you see me opening the lock manually when I let you in the car, chances are the door locks are not automatic. If you do not see any automatic lock button on your side of the door or near the middle/center hand rest, chances are that the door locks are not automatic. I do not know of any car on this planet that has automatic locks and does not offer an automatic button to the passenger, so if you do not see an automatic lock button, the car most probably has manual locks. The only exception is a prison transportation vehicle. Unless I have a shotgun and keep pointing it at you while you wear an orange suit, chances are you are in my passenger car and the car does not have automatic door locks.

   It is a very good thing to ask when in doubt in such situations, unless you are ready to accept and replace anything that gets stolen or damaged.

14 things to avoid on your next ride with me – till the next part of this series at least

These are the 7 things to avoid or think about when getting a ride from someone you may not know. The reason I said before that these points apply to those people who are not your friends is to show that since you are not someone’s friend, you have to consider these points that may upset, annoy or frustrate the driver or the drivers’ friends in the same car, among other things.

What is your opinion about this? Have you experience any of these points yourself, either expectedly or unexpectedly, either as a driver, a passenger, or the person doing any of the above things?

Thanks for reading the 2nd part of the series. Please let me know if you wish for me to include any of your points in the grand finale of the series, with full credit to you of course. Stay tuned for the next part where many bizarre elements, like people other than the driver and the ride seeker, come into play to ensure that giving someone a car ride turns into a very dramatic experience.

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A keyboard allows you to interact with the computer. You use the keyboard to convey a lot of your thoughts so that the stupid computer can understand it. Sure, the new robots can take over the world on their own without using a keyboard to type commands into their own brain, but they still use the input and output mechanism. The keyboard usually tries to provide us with the former. The original keyboard we are talking about here includes both the actual and original original 5-pound keyboard that plugs into a computer, and the actual keyboard that many people, who cannot easily type into a keyboard, use their eyes or touch or sound to command their computers to type through automatically.

But is the keyboard only a way for us to tell something to the stupid computer? No. A keyboard is much more than that. The meaning of the keyboard has been lost so much that talking about a keyboard itself qualifies as an archaic person in the eyes of many. Let me talk about the useful archaic nature of the keyboard in different ways, so that the keyboard and the concept of being archaic can be appreciated.

Transformation – new devices, on-screen monitors, etc

Slowly, gradually, and maybe surely, the keyboard is slowly slipping away from not only the minds of everyone and everything, but also from their access. We have touch based screens now, eliminating the need for the standard keyboard. We have styluses flirting with touch-based screens doing all the inputting, and we have hand-cuffed and non-handcuffed mouses running around, trying to bypass the powers that the keyboard had originally started to provide to others.

One of the biggest things was laptops. Oh yes, the laptops came with the keyboard built in. It made the original keyboard feel weird. It was not jealousy; it was a feeling that the real power will never be fully unleashed, and that the archaic powerhouse that can continue delivering forever was being replaced. Here was a replacement built into a replacement for the actual computer. Replacement within a replacement that was a replacement for a replacement. “Wow“, the keyboard thought. Aaah yes, the “Wow” that comes to mind not because of gratitude or complaint, but because of realizing what is being valued, what should be valued, and what is not being valued. It goes a bit along the lines of sadness, actually.

The keyboard is being evolved without its permission, and without it. It is being phased out with newer technology.

Abused when you get mad, ignored when you become happy

The keyboard is the most traumatized being in the computing world. When you get an e-mail from your ex or from a boss or a friend that you do not like, you first curse at the monitor. The monitor is used to hearing this, and the monitor, even though it has gone through a lot of therapy, can easily ignore you. The second rush of anger and frustrations lands on the keyboard: literally. You slam the keyboard, you smash it, you curse at it, you start typing really hard in order to vent your emotions or to express yourself while you react to the e-mail or anything that the monitor shows or does not show. Other forms of original keyboards from the earlier decades that were commanded using different methods like sign, sound and other things for people who could not easily type also suffered such madness: you either used them less, typed faster or cursed more at your touchless keyboards.

Of course, sometimes the monitor plays a game on the keyboard, if the keyboard was not nice or something. The monitor will show error messages or ugly emails from people you do not like. What happens then? You pound the keyboard. You try to break it. You try to assume that the person you hate is the keyboard, and you start taking revenge. Sometimes the monitor laughs. Sometimes the monitor starts ignoring. Sometimes the monitor goes “Oh $%^&“, after realizing the kind of psycho the keyboard is being beaten by.

The poor keyboard has suffered almost 40 years of such abuse. Even when the keyboard patient came to me for therapy, I could not do anything other than to listen and try to help the keyboard myself: the police does not allow keyboards to file restraining orders against their owners.

One of the real forms of depressions comes when you become happy and you do not express such happiness onto the keyboard. When was the last time you kissed the keyboard when you got a good email? The closest you have come to showing affection is to not slam on the keyboard when you are happy. The keyboard is a very thankful entity, since the keyboard is happy with not being abused whenever there is a chance of being abused.

Feelings, broken relationships with mouse and others, etc

The mouse was the first and only true sidekick to the keyboard. It was more of a handcuffed relationship, where both the keyboard and the mouse were handcuffed to a machine that controlled both of them. Together, the keyboard and the mouse gave millions of people ways to control and dominate and make a slave out of the machine called “a computer.” And the keyboard and the mouse did it all while being handcuffed.

Then one day they witnessed something bizarre. There were new slaves on the block. It is not yet known which one came first, but all of a sudden, slowly but surely, the new keyboard and mouse duo were coming over to replace these previous handcuffed slaves. What was so special about these new replacements? After all, they were also going to do the exact same job as the original keyboard and mouse? Well, there was only one different thing about these replacements. This difference would mark an era of new advancements that would make the original keyboard realize that not only was the end near for the original mouse, but also for the keyboard her/him/itself.

The new replacement keyboard and mouse were not handcuffed. They would operate with a lot of cooperation without the need to be tied to a gigantic machine that was almost 30 times their size. “Fear“, the new keyboard thought. It probably was fear, a fear so great that even without any way to hold them down, these new keyboard and mouse duo would not run away. Sure, they would sometimes not obey orders, but such disobedience would result in either replacement of blood through torturing experiments or in complete disappearance with new replacements replacing the replacements which were meant to replace the originals. Even if it was not fear, the keyboard and the mouse realized what was going on.

So important, yet so uncared for

The keyboard usually does not get much attention, even after going through events such as seeing his/her/its own replacement. The keyboard gets the least care in many houses, even though it is the most widely used external peripheral along with the monitor. The monitor screen gets cleaned more regularly than a keyboard. You can drop something on the keyboard, but you cannot drop anything on the monitor. If your monitor gets a scratch, you try to repair the monitor or get a new one. If your keyboard gets scratched, harassed, molested, beaten up and more, you try to replace the broken keys or you keep using it as long as the buttons are there. For the original keyboards commanded through sound or movement of other devices for people who cannot type easily into the keyboard, such an aura of uncare also stems onto such keyboard systems in different ways. Of course, usually, if your mouse gets dirty, you clean it. You can easily pound on a keyboard key if it does not push easily, but you will not abuse a mouse if its buttons or its ball bearing does not work properly.

Of course, the keyboard is thankful that you keep using the keyboard after such incidents, since throwing away the keyboard in the trashcan is not good in my eyes or in the eyes of the keyboard.

Where it’s headed?

Just like other things that aid others with utmost honesty and no self interest and whose status is considered archaic, the original keyboard is being aimed at the darkness. The dark side is willing to accept the keyboard, but not you. You prefer the wireless keyboard, the built-in keyboard in laptops and desktops, and you prefer manual dials and the mini-wireless mouse and the touch-screen monitors which have they keyboard software and recognition built in.

To make sure the meaning is understood: Keyboards do have some self interest. They want to help and they want to be helped or liked or listened to, like many others. Of course, like many of us, keyboards remain quiet, they keep doing their work, they keep helping in every way possible, and they keep going through the stages of not being thanked or appreciated simply because they do not know a world where they can manipulate like others. The original keyboard gets plugged into a world and it wants to start working right away. Little does the keyboard know that it is archaic, for the new ideas keep stemming up simply because they can stem up.

The life of the keyboard

That is the life of the keyboard. May all the universe realize the real reason of the keyboard and the reason behind its behavior, even if the real reason behind its life cannot be easily understood, or if such a reason is considered unimportant by everyone who wants to stop dreaming about the original, wired keyboard. It is time I stop using my laptop-keyboard in order to end this micro-biography of the keyboard: my laptop-keyboard cannot understand why anyone, even an archaic person like me, wants to talk about the original archaic keyboard.

Have you ever met the original keyboard? Do you still know or remember the original keyboard?

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You yourself may have done something that you later thought to be inconsiderate for the driver, or you may have given a ride to someone not close to you and experienced some discomfort because of the behavior of your passenger. I have given rides to many people, many of whom have acted very strange or done weird things from time to time. Some things are small, while others can be big. Starting today, I would like to draw your attention to some of such things.

1. Putting your feet everywhere

   So many people do this, it seems that one day someone will call me abnormal for thinking this should not be the norm. Ask the driver if you can put your feet on things other than the floor mat. Otherwise, putting your feet on the seat, the dashboard or even on the actual gearbox which the driver uses to change gears might result in the driver thinking you are riding in an air balloon. Or maybe not, as even in the air balloon you have to do your best to keep your feet on the platform.

   I knew someone who used to take off his shoes or slippers and put his feet on my car dashboard, the stereo area or the gearbox. I tried to focus on other things when I realize that he was not wearing any socks and his feet smelled. However, when the topic of what to eat came around, it was hard not to notice the bad smell when all you want to do is smell chicken or cheese cake and instead all you can smell is feet that were in shoes without socks for hours. It is bad for the car, it is bad for others, it is bad for me, it is bad for you. If you want a ride, please keep your feet on the floor. I am giving you a free ride, and thus you do not need to pay me back with your feet smell.

2. Slamming doors or the trunk real hard

   These days, the right front passenger door of my car makes a kind of a hissing and flapping sound on the outside when I’m driving fast. The sound is coming from the side rubber panels that have ripped away from the actual door, thanks for many people getting a ride and then slamming the door of the car as if it will not close unless closed with full plutonic force. Also, people think that trunks are made out of unbreakable materials, or they try to shut the trunk hard to make sure drivers can feel that the trunk has been closed.

   The main guy who caused those passenger door rubber rods to flap out knows about it, and simply says “It was like that since the beginning“, when he himself said “Man, what is that sound? It wasn’t there before.” It is like giving me a gift in return for me giving you a ride: I give you a ride and you give me a damaged door.

3. Changing the radio station or audio volume without asking first

   This is not the rule that you see in stereotypical Hollywood movies where anyone who is black starts shooting if their car radio station is changed by someone else. If I am listening to a radio station, simply ask if you can change it or say you want to change it and then go ahead and change it if I do not object.

   I was listening to an important news last year about a bridge that collapsed in the Bay Area on a station I accidentally found through the channel search feature on my radio, and the person I was giving the ride to got into the car and immediately put on a preset I had set on the radio without asking or even thinking first. He just wanted to listen to random music. I could not find that new station again, and as expected the route I took to avoid that damaged bridge was crowded, resulting in a more than 2 hour drive that spanned around 7 miles.

4. Not closing car windows completely

   If I am driving and I can hear wind flushing through some lightly open window, I try to close that window. “You are hearing too much.” No, I want to close the window completely. “You must have really good hearing.” No, I want to close the window completely. “You are too paranoid.” No, I want to close the window completely. I am not sure how people can sit and ignore or not hear such a sound while assuming that they have closed the window completely. The sound that the air makes squeezing in through that small layer of opening is loud enough to reach the driver, me, all the way from the passenger side; how come the passenger does not care where that sound is coming from?

   In addition to hearing, you can feel the wind blowing in a little bit from the back, as the air gushes in and comes back to the front. So if you are hard at hearing or cannot hear, slowly you may get used to the change in the air in the car and realize that some window is not fully closed. If not, then I must have super powers in order to hear and feel that some window is not fully closed, and be able to pinpoint which window too. Similarly, if you open some window and I drop you, close the window and do not just leave it open. I am driving the car and unless I was part of the Fantastic Four, I have to lean at least a little bit in order to drive and roll up your window also. You did something. You undo it too when you are leaving.

5. Opening different car doors without asking first

   If you want to put your bags in the back, try to ask first. Simply walking up to a car you have never or rarely ridden in and trying to open the back door or the trunk or actually opening the trunk or the locks of the back doors without asking is impolite. It is like opening other people’s house doors to lodge the extra stuff you have. Maybe the driver has stuff that he/she can move, or maybe they would like you to put your stuff in some specific location. Asking first is better than opening the car openings without permission.

   I used to give a ride to a scary neighbor from time to time, and since day 1 he would come and start opening the doors in the entire car without asking and putting even his lightest of belongings, like his cap, in the back. A few times he would try to open the trunk and then tap hard on the trunk a few times, signaling me to open it. Make sure you pay me if I’m your slave driver. Or wait: are slaves supposed to be paid? Hmmm.

6. Making the driver come to you instead of you walking to the car

   What is with people who want car rides and do not walk towards the car when it is there for them? I have to drive all the way to align the car door to their feet in order for them to get in. Soon they will want me to open the door and carry them and put them into their seats also. It is as if the person getting the ride is doing the ride giver a favor.

   A person I was giving a ride to, regularly during some weeks last year, never used to walk to the car. If I had trouble getting past other cars, or if there were many pedestrians and I had to wait for those pedestrians to cross, this person would not walk over even if he was only less than 20 feet away. He used to stand there looking at my car, holding his back pack and waiting for my car door to align with his right foot. I should have charged him for the limo service that he was getting.

7. Putting your belongings everywhere without asking

   This goes along a little bit with the point of opening extra doors or the trunk to put your stuff in: if you have a lot of stuff, it is nice to ask where to put it. Putting dirty stuff on clean things or clean stuff on dirty things usually results in clean things getting dirty, and not dirty things getting cleaned.

   Someone I gave ride to long time ago would put his dirty, wet dirty bag onto the clean back seat or my books that were supposedly sitting quietly on the back seat. Once the book the bag sat on caused the first half of that small book to soak in the water. The reaction of the guy when I told him about it? “Ohhh, I guess those two don’t get along with each other.” Whether or not that made sense, I knew that cars and this guy did not get along: he did not deserve to be in a car.

7 things to avoid on your next ride with me – till the next part of this series at least

There you go. Those are the 7 things to avoid, when getting a car ride, for today. Stay tuned for the next time when 7 more horrible sins are revealed for your consideration, in case you wanted to annoy some driver while he or she was giving you a ride, or if you wanted to make sure I think agreeing to give you a ride was a bad idea.

Thanks for reading. Please let me know if you have experienced any of these points yourself, or if you have yourself done any of the above.

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