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1. You doubt a complete group of people immediately while trusting the other one completely

   Imagine me telling you that a certain group of people did something bad, and that you immediately come to the conclusion that those people are bad and that you should not expect anything better from them. Now imagine me telling you that some people from the groups that you associate with did something bad, and that you immediately say things along the lines of “Well, they must have had a reason” or “It was only them who did it” or “I am not sure, I need to know the whole story before I judge.” Chances are you discriminate against a certain group immediately, while thinking critically when it comes to judging your own group of people.

   When you hear about some Jews acting bad, you immediately agree that they are bad. When you hear about some Muslims acting bad, you immediately make sure that you try to ask for more proof or verification of the story, or you try not to judgment, opposite to what you did in the case of the Jews. The exact opposite story, interchanging the Muslims with the Jews and vice versa is a similar example. No matter what side you may be supporting, you discriminate against the other instantly and start passing judgments as if your opinions are thought our critically.

   When you hear about some militant groups in Africa molesting and raping young children in certain areas in order to spread more fear, you start concluding that they are less civilized. When you hear about some American soldiers molesting or raping girls in Japan and some other bases, you immediately start doubting the story, asking for more verification, and maybe even starting to pinpoint the bad things about the foreign country in which such reported incidents take place. You may call such a trait patriotism; in reality, it is racism and a form of stupidity thriving together.

2. Your pro-country mentality result in you hating a certain country or group of people

   This is a huge headache in many cases. Europeans hating the Americans, Americans hating the Europeans, Palestinians hating the Israelis, Israelis hating the Palestinians, Canadians hating Americans, Americans hating Canadians, Pakistanis hating Indians, Indians hating Pakistanis, Mexicans hating Americans, Americans hating Mexicans, North Koreans hating the Americans, Americans hating the North Koreans, Chinese hating Japanese, Japanese hating Chinese, Iranians hating the Americans, Americans hating the Iranians, etc etc etc. It is as if countries were built to hate each other. I realize they were.

   A small group of people from some hurt your country, and you are going to start hating the entire group of people or the majority of some country that those people are from because of that? Take your racist, narrow-minded mentalities somewhere else. I do not care. Anytime you automatically stereotype a majority or all people associated with a group of people because of your love for your own country, stay away from me, and instead impose your racist views on your family or your poor do-not-have-a-future-because-of-racist-parents children. Every country in this world is suffering, and every country in this world is inflicting harm on some other weaker country. Having a full circle of hating one another because of that only spreads racism.

3. Your pro-religion mentality results in you hating a certain country or group of people

   Christians against the Muslims, Muslims against the Christians, Buddhists against other religions, other religions against atheism and Buddhism, etc. How many times, every week or every minute of the day, do we see ourselves or someone else, either in real life or on TV, stereotype against a certain religion or someone or a group of people who try to follow a certain religion, or who may be directly or indirectly associated with a certain religion.

   If someone brings up something bad about a religion you do not know about, you agree that it is bad. If someone brings up something bad about your religion, you want to inquire more, you try to defend your religion, you try to criticize every critic of your religion. For you, reality does not revolve around what is happening. For you, reality revolves around your religion being right and you defending it. That mentality is the exact same as those people who go around the entire planet torturing innocent people because of religion: killing people in Middle East because of religion, burning mosques and churches in America, prosecuting all religious people in many countries, torturing non-religious people in several religious countries, etc. It is as if your religion exists in order to spread torture, and you exist in order to spread racism.

4. Your pro-ethnic mentality results in you hating certain ethnicities while completely favoring some over the other

   Try remembering the last time someone brought up some major ethnic discrimination event from years ago, in order to justify your own hatred or discrimination for others. Maybe try remembering the last time you yourself cited some major event of racism or hatred in order to justify your hatred against some group of people. Did you yourself suffer anything, literally, in person? How many Vietnamese people who complain about the Vietnam war were actually in the Vietnam and suffered in person, and are thus not enjoying life at all today? How many of the African American youth today which complains about being stereotyped were actually stereotyped and hurt in person in the 60’s and 70’s, since that is the era I keep hearing everyday from the mouth of many?

   How many people have actually seen a Jewish person steal money, a French act stupid and drunk, an Arab blow up something, a Canadian act illiterate of the world events, an American molest females in army bases in other countries, a Mexican steal your job literally, a Cuban bring drugs in his shoes, a black man listen to rap music while robbing your neighbor, and a white person running around screaming out “KKK FOR ALL” at the top of his or her lungs? There can be hundreds of more examples along the lines of what I just said. A lot of these things have happened, and a lot of these things are not happening. How can we look at the example of a few and stereotype everyone? You are going to stereotype everyone or even a large group of people, people you know nothing about, simply based on what some specific people have done?

   Your excuse of “I know not everyone is like that” is stupid, pathetic and immature, considering the fact that you are always stereotyping that certain ethnic group and that when you are cornered you resort to that defense. Most people who complain about discrimination against them, in order to justify their own discriminatory views, have not experienced any of the above, yet they will say “I know it has happened to others, so I know what is going on.” Really? If we used such mentality, then all the Chinese, Japanese, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Americans, Mexicans, Canadians, French, Europeans, Russians, Buddhists, and more would be hating everyone on this planet, because I know a lot of Japanese, Koreans, Muslims, Christians, Anti-semitic-yet-do-not-realize-it, Europeans, Americans, Russians, and other people who have suffered physically in reality and people who simply cry on the bandwagon because someone else in the distant suffered or their great great grandfathers suffered.

   “Avoid saying such things which stereotype and hurt other people and their image“, I say. “Why don’t you mind your own god damn business or get lost.” Awesome mentality you have. Keep saying things that mingle with other people’s lives and business, but when others tell you to not say such things, you tell others to mind their own business. That is some amazing mature mentality you have.

   Similarly, hating some ethnicity or feeling discriminated simply because your ancestors suffered does not mean you suffered. Suffering the after effects is one thing, and not suffering anything and being genetically linked to people who suffered, while enjoying life, is not equivalent to suffering yourself. There are many of us who have actually suffered in our lifetime more than you and your ancestors combined. Trying to attract the sympathy of others, by playing the victims game, in order to justify your own hatred when in reality you have suffered nothing is stupid. Such a logic does not equivilate to you being justified in hating others.

5. You cannot help yourself from making certain ethnic or religious jokes which completely stereotype and hurt others, while you cannot make certain jokes about some ethnicities or religion

   Ever hear the joke about the sex-addict and stupid French woman? Ever hear the joke about the terrorist Arab? Ever hear the joke about the miser Jew? Ever hear the joke about the stupid Japanese? Ever hear the joke about the illiterate American redneck? Chances are, you may have heard all of these jokes, but you may not be comfortable with all of them. If you do joke about some ethnicities but cannot joke about some other specific ethnicities, you may be racist. Simply joking about every ethnicity does not make you an anti-Racist; it just shows that you hate many more ethnicities than a typical racist person.

   There is a difference between joking and not meaning things and realizing when it may hurt people and when it may only be a joke, and joking and hurting people and claiming that you did not intend to hurt anyone. If you are not good at realizing when it will hurt someone, stop joking.

   You are comfortable at making fun of French or the Germans people but not the British? You are comfortable making fun of Buddhists or atheists but not the Christians? You are comfortable making fun of the Chinese or Koreans but not the Japanese? You are comfortable making fun of Muslims or the Arabs but not the Jews? You are comfortable making fun of Colombians or Cubans but not the Mexicans? You are comfortable making fun of people with light colored skins but not dark skin? You are comfortable making fun of anyone else except anything you try to associate with yourself or a group that the society around you tries to associate with? Poor you, you stereotypical racist moron. Your jokes are ways for you to be scared of being racist and be a racist at the same time, since your supposed-”it’s a joke“-disclaimer can probably make someone not beat you up for being stupid.

6. You stereotype all the time, and you try to hide behind jokes or certain disclosures.

   This is a trend that is slowly gaining more acceptance and ridicule at the same depending, depending on different people. Repeatedly making jokes about someone’s ethnicity, religion, lack of religion, lack of ethnicity, their background or anything else, which hurts someone, means you do not care about that person. That also means your jokes exist solely to make racist and discriminatory remarks, and that you are hiding behind your jokes to get away with your inability to not hate someone directly or indirectly because of things outside their control, like their background, as if someone was completely wrong with it in all situations.

   When you know a joke can hurt or simply offend someone, as to why you are making that joke in context to someone who is involved in the conversation or joke with you, there is no point in saying “I’m sorry” afterwards. Why be sorry when you are continuously doing whatever you are doing anyhow?

Racism Rules! Literally.

These are the 6 signs that show the racism in you, me and others. These are also the 6 signs you can use to observe others around you and see whether or not someone exhibits some forms of hate or discrimination against some person or a group of people. Ideas and feelings of racism, without actually experiencing anything bad ourselves, are all around us. Even when we experience something ourselves directly, the idea of racism or hating a group of people only increases or takes turns. It can be very hard to simply keep such feelings inside of us.

I do not care what religion you have, what country you are from, what ethnicity you fantasize about, and what color you love blending in with. Treat me the way I act and am, and I will treat you in the same manner. Act racist around me, and I will simply realize that I wasted time around a loser like you. It’s your life; you can live in your small little racist bubble and feel all powerful and righteous. We both know what you really are. All I care about are actual actions, feelings and experiences in life.

Every point mentioned above can be observed as having different levels of dedication. Some people commit to some or all of the above points all the time, while others resort to it from time to time. Still, some people simply say some extreme things without actually being racist in order to make a point. However, if the listener or other people do not realize that you made a point, you have actually hurt the other person. What is the point of not being racist when your actions are hurting others as if you were racist? How about not being a racist and making sure whatever you do does not hurt others either?

Thank you for reading. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go to near an Indian owned 7-eleven to a Boba place owned by Koreans where only Asian workers are cashiers and only Mexicans make Boba in the back room, with the only non-Asian customers at night being white kids who read comics and where a black person will almost never be a customer. Or maybe I’ll go eat at Jack-in-the-Box next to it where I can focus more on getting curly fries than on the ethnic or background segregation of the drive-thru people or the people making the food. Who said fast food places were good for nothing?

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1. Hair

   This is one of the most common ways to judge someone’s professionalism. If you are male and always have hair that is out of control, you will most probably be considered as an unprofessional person. For men, not shaving your facial hair for a day or two automatically shows many people what kind of an unprofessional hobo you are. Usually, the length of the hair also plays a strong role in creating stereotypes as to whether or not certain hair style implies professionalism.

   For example, for many people, a guy having long, untied or wavy, hair may imply weirdness and unprofessionalism, as guys are usually expected to have short or neatly tied hair. Similarly, a lady having short, typically-man-style hair or having a clean, shaved head usually results in people not knowing how to treat that lady the same way they would respect a lady who has long hair. Bruce Willis shaving his shaven head is all right, but Britney Spears shaving her head is not; many people will not even ask why she shaved her head before criticizing her for being a fool for shaving her head. Having long hair can result in people stereotyping about you even outside the realm of professionalism.

2. Money

   Oh yes, money money money! The money issue is stronger than ever before in many cases. If you are poor, you will have a hard time being perceived as a person who exhibits professionalism. You do not give expensive birthday gifts to others, you do not leave large amount of tips at restaurants, and you try to save money in many other ways; you will, in most cases, be looked upon in an inferior manner.

   You never pay for others when going out? In many business situations that can be considered a sign that you are poor (or a cheapskate). If you ever mention in any situation that you do not have enough money or that you are saving money, many people may start thinking you are unprofessional on some levels, since you do not have enough money and thus may have problems.

3. Tattoos

   There was a day when tattoos were considered to be signs of thugs and bike riders, as if they were both exactly the same type of people. Well, tattoos are still the original trademarks of these two groups of people, though today more and more people are getting tattoos as it can make someone feel better and more important in many cases. On Ronald’s site, he talked about how tattoos can be bad, and that resulted in a lot of support for tattoos.

   In most places today, especially in the office workplace, having exposed tattoos on your body can result in people thinking you are the Gothic, emo², or a similar type of individual who can snap or bite anytime. People with tattoos are rarely perceived as being completely quiet these days, so if you have the tattoo of me or the words “Bes Z The Reasoner” springing up from your neck so that everyone can see it, the world might mistreat you (but I won’t. :p )³.

4. Where you live

   Imagine being with a group of people who keep inviting everyone to their big homes in nice neighborhoods. And when you invite everyone, you worry and panic a lot as you have a small home or an apartment in a not-so rich and a not-so clean neighborhood.

   A lot of people use their own feelings of feeling safe as a tool to judge others. So if someone feels uncomfortable in your neighborhood, they may start wondering if you are someone who is also a low-life scum, since many people who live in poor neighborhoods are considered to be losers by many people. Professionalism must be reflected in your home, in the eyes of many. The mere mention of an unsafe city name or neighborhood will result in people stereotyping your professionalism.

5. External attitude

   External attitude is another word for something that I view as your behavior that is intended towards other people around you. Today, usually serious and non-moody people are considered to be great examples of good professionalism. If you laugh too much, bam! You are not that professional. You argue too much? Well, that is considered bad too, even though people who are always joking and laughing and not being serious are usually considered less professional than people who start more arguments or fights.

   This trait is what I call the personality.

6. Internal attitude

   This is what I consider your behavior that revolves around you, mainly for your own self. You read comics, watch cartoons and like building objects with Legos? You will usually be considered as a person not showing any good signs of professionalism.

   You read Business Week, watch depressing World News, and like setting up e-mail accounts on your cell phone? You will be considered to have good signs of professionalism.

   You like gummy bears? You prefer McDonald’s to restaurant food? You prefer playing with your cat or dog instead of going to office drinking parties? Bam! You know nothing about professionalism.

   This trait is what I call the character.

7. Your method of transportation

   This is one of the most stereotypical ways to figure out whether or not we think someone exhibits professionalism, and it is also one of the most common ones. You need a brand new car or a clean looking car that impresses when being looked at, in order to be accepted as a person who exhibits professionalism.

   You have the crappiest car on the planet? Your car has a cracked or a broken window? Your car makes the weirdest and loudest noise when you drive it? In such cases, other people today will rarely ask you about what professionalism means, unless they want to be sarcastic.

   You ride a bus to work or school or everywhere? You already lost a lot of professionalism points to someone who has a car. You get rides from someone else? You are a loser, and are considered to have no professionalism, and are someone who depends on favors to survive. You ride a motor bike or a bicycle to places? You are considered to have less money and professionalism values than people with nice cars who can give others rides.

8. Attire

   Your attire includes your clothes, shoes and your watch. I give this a separate category as this is what most people usually see when they see you. If your clothes are wrinkled or dirty or old, you usually do not show any signs of professionalism in the eyes of many. Similarly, your shoes must be new or polished, and your watch must be something to drool over. Try scoring good points in every other stereotypical point listed here except the shoes, and wear torn out shoes. See how people react.

   The watch is a tricky issue. You should have a watch. Your watch must be on the right place. It must be a certain type of watch, and it must not have a lot of characteristics that watches for females have, and vice versa. Anything different, and you are already making some people doubt as to whether or not you can practice professionalism naturally.

9. Relationships

   Are you single, married or divorced? Many people will judge your professionalism based on that. What kind of friends do you hang out with? People will stereotype your character and level of professionalism based on that.

   You yourself are a good person but have a friend or two who are thugs? You will be considered a good example of unprofessionalism. You have rich or famous friends? Professionalism is the topic in which people cite you as a good example.

   Then comes your family. Ohhh, sweet old family. They are a bunch of poor old folks living in a crappy neighborhood and you live with them? Haha, out goes your professionalism in the eyes of many, specially some significant others. You visit your poor parents a lot and act normal around them and let them be the way they are, while you blend in completely in their old house? Down goes the professionalism, even if it was a little bit to begin with.

10. Job

    In today’s world, for many people this can be the most important factor in figuring out the level of professionalism in you. Your job status and the kind of job you may have makes other people judge you a lot. You do not have a job? Your professionalism points went down by 30%. No, make that 50%.

    You’re a blogger? What the hell is a blogger? BAM! Your professionalism points went down by 80%! Take that you so-called blogger-whatever!

    You have a high paying job? You exhibit professionalism. You have a home based business? You may or may not have the same amount of professionalism as the person with the high paying job, unless your home job gets you more profit.

    You have the same job as your co-workers, yet you work from home. How popular are you at the company picnic? What makes you so good to work from home while others have to suffer from the cubical anxiety?

    You work as a janitor? Many people will think you are not a human and that you have gone mad if you start talking about professionalism. You have no job or are a student? You have yet to earn any real and worthy professionalism.

10 stereotypical ways to unprofessionalism

Those are the 10 stereotypical obstacles to offline professionalism, where others will think you exhibit or do not exhibit professionalism based on things completely irrelevant to what real professionalism is about.

Can you think up of any more points? What are your views on any of the above points?

Thank you for reading. You have shown extra amount of professionalism because of reading my article.

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If I stop at a gas station,
you are always right behind me.
If I don’t have enough money,
you choke the gas attendant to make sure the gas’s free.
If I lock myself out of my house,
you somehow have the extra key.
I usually wake up from a nightmare,
dreaming you are right beside me.

People sometimes tell me,
“You two look good as a couple.”
I look around and see no one,
and ask “DAMN WHAT COUPLE?”
“Relax, the two of you, silly”³,
they say while pointing behind me.
I quickly turn and from the corner of my eye,
see a shadow disappear behind me⁴.

People sometimes ask me,
“You’re alone. Where is your boyfriend?”
I say “What are you talking about?”
They say “we’re talking about your boyfriend!”
I guess homophobic people are aplenty⁵,
so having any guy close by means he is your boyfriend.
At least I know that one more person since last month has started following me⁶,
that this time it is a guy, and probably a supposed-friend.
I guess having an invisible stalker in the eyes of many,
can result in having a boyfriend.

I am worried, something freaky is going on,
why am I the only one being followed?
Now I know what a girl feels like,
when by desperate guys she is followed⁷.
It’s all right, life is full of weird things,
like having 2 people get obsessed with me at the same time⁸,
one being a homophobic girl and the other being a yet-to-be-gay guy who likes that girl⁹.
I guess recognition won’t come this way,
but one following the other, stalkers keep falling like the rain.
Though I wonder, why would anyone want to follow a soul who always gets a “Inzane! Zain, you are inzain!“,
a soul that brings change and happiness to others but inside may have a lot of pain.

Could it be because you like that other girl,
the very girl that is also obsessing about me?¹⁰
Could it be that in your search for vengeance for your pointless life,
you started following the very person who can see your pointless life: me?
O’ moronic Stalker, I don’t carry signs that say “Available for stalking“,
go stalk the girl stalker who is obsessed with me.
You two will be happy together, stalking and preying on each other,
in the wonderful game that stalkers call “The Stalking Spree.”

Long live you, O’ Stalker,
At least you don’t stalk me like that girl,
the girl who is a self-proclaimed girlfriend of mine.
Die soon you, O’ Stalkers,
since you’re both creepy,
and because I want you to stay away from my life of a drowning cloud.
I have enough and better wonders in my own life,
things that hopefully one day will be spoken out loud.
Maybe one day you both will realize and tell others, out of the entire world,
what Bes is and was really all about.

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The laptop is 1 month and 3 days old today. Who could have done such a thing? What heartless bastard could have broken into a house, probably harassed the cat, and taken an innocent infant laptop who was just sitting there?! The neighbor’s house was also broken into, but the neighbor did not have any bastard children laptops, so no laptop child was stolen from that house. How strange it is, that one house suffers nothing but a broken door and trauma, while the house next door ends up with a broken door, trauma, a traumatized perverted cat, and a missing laptop child.

Victims’ and the Crime profile

This is a real theft people. Sure, you may not believe some things as you may assume it is out of this world, but the laptop was stolen yesterday, and your help is needed.

Reward?: Yes, and this is real. $500 reward through Paypal to anyone who finds or helps Ronald actually find and recover the laptop undamaged.

Where?: Huntsville, Alabama, USA

When?: Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007, between 7 am and 11 am

Type: Apple MacBook Pro, 15″, silver, 2 Gig RAM, 7200 RPM 160GB HD.

Age: Only a month, 3 days old laptop child

Mother: Apple [sold her baby to Ronald on the black market called the Apple store]

Father: Ronald [under investigation by the National Laptops Welfare & Long Battery Life Association [NLWLBLA] for suspicion of buying a laptop child on the black market]

Name or Model # of the victim: A1226

Nickname or Serial number of the victim: W87371FAXAG

Secret lovers: The cat [rumored by angry neighborhood cats. No evidence to confirm or deny this claim]

Instructions for the cops and others to follow

This is a note to all the cops, the community, and anyone who cares about young children, young laptop heartless children to be precise! Imagine the lonely laptop, sitting there without a cover, without a mouse, without the cruel abusive master of an owner who only now realizes the value of the laptop child, and most important of all, without the secret cat lover!

All cops should keep on the lookout for any depressed laptop child that is not turned on. By turned on, I mean turned on screen-wise and not literally, though if you thought I meant literally you are in the same class as the secret cat lover. Anyhow, back to the kidnapping topic! All highway patrol cars are advised to focus on expensive car drivers going empty handed to poor areas and coming back to rich homes in rich areas with a new Apply MacBook Pro. Poor folks can’t afford such a laptop baby, so probably some rich sucker would want to save a thousand on an already expensive product and bring it back to lala land only to discover that the laptop child was kidnapped from Ronald and the lesbian cat.

Non-federal authorities aren’t of help, so hitmen have been hired

So far, non-federal authorities have been uncooperative or unsuccessful in helping the quest to find the missing laptop child. The local rental association has no video, audio or picture record or any recollection of a baby being kidnapped and taken to a car, nor any video or pictures of any people coming in or out of the complex.

Apple, the corporation that not only provides people with laptop children but also can take those laptop childs’ brains away if needed, cannot help either unless and until someone connects the laptop child to the internet and accesses the internet, at which point Apple will terminate [HEAVEN FORBID] the laptop child. Ohhh the horror this world sees! “If I can’t have my laptop child, no one can!” Ronalds’ decision to hire the professional hitman corporation, Apple, is not yet backfiring. Maybe it will be after the fate of the laptop child is sealed and public that we will see heartless child rights organizations going after Ronald for his decision to not allow his laptop child to live if it is not sitting on his lap or next to the cat.

My community aspect of the investigation, and the Iron Claw Assassin

In my research, where I tried to offer help in the neighborhood aspect of the investigation, I found out that I was not welcome anywhere, and that no one wanted to tell me about the missing child. “Why?” I thought. I wondered if everyone was part of this conspiracy. I wondered if everyone knew something but was afraid to tell me. I wondered if everyone knew something but did not want to tell me because they did not like me. Soon, however, I found out why no one wanted to tell me anything about the missing child. “What the hell is a macbook pro?“, “Are you stupid? Why in the world are you looking for a damn apple? Go buy another one from the grocery store you cashless psycho!” and “Who gives a damn about Apple! I have a dell with a D, as in DIE Apple!” were the three sets of answers I got from everyone. It seems no one knows where the damned child laptop is. So much for assuming that the community is of help; it never is. I am wondering if I should do my best to get to the attention-disordered laptop child before the hitmen do.

I am trying my best to locate the stealth Iron Claw Assassin. So far, all my inside agents have reported that they have been unable to locate the Iron Claw Assassin. All of my attempts to locate her have proved futile. That is sad, since the Iron Claw could have pursued the laptop child kidnappers and taken care of them the way The Mad, Mad, Mad Screamer was taken care of, and I am confident that the laptop child would have been recovered safely, albeit a few scratches because of the claw. Claw, holding the laptop child, scratch, pointed, sharp, get it? Better to get back a dented laptop child than no laptop child. Whatever case Iron Claw Assassin is working on, I wish she could finish it soon or just give it up to help us pursue this demonic laptop child that Ronald and the authorities are so obsessed about right now.

I have offered sacrifices to the sea in the form of throwing out trash that was in my car into lakes, rivers and oceans. I have bought nuts for the damned squirrels in Berkeley while avoiding the squirrel who shall not be named [seriously, he cannot be named, nor linked to, but you know how to find out more about him, don't you?], cleaned up after psycho, murdering cats, and even spied on all cats making out with other cats in the community in hopes of finding some laptop children nearby, since rumors say that the missing laptop child had affairs with Ronalds’ cat [more on that below]. So far, I have uncovered nothing, other than the mysterious looks from all cats that probably wonder “Why the hell is he looking at us while we kiss each other? EWWWWWWWW” I hope I can forget everything I am seeing today once, and if, the laptop child is found.

Rumors about affairs between the cat and the laptop child

I did find out through my contacts that there were some illegal affairs between the cat and the laptop child. Even though I was looking for evidence for such claims, deep inside me I remembered the cat when I had met it last month, and I realized that the cat did exhibit such lovely affections to every object inside Ronalds’ house, including me when I was there. However, think of the laptop child: you wouldn’t want your desktop or laptop child to suffer the same trauma, so why ignore this tragedy where a young pro-beastiality laptop child got kidnapped? Sure, you are against animal cruelty, but come on, this laptop was less than a month. So what if a month old laptop baby likes to feel touchy-touchy with a cat? Blame the grown up cat for seducing and having affairs with a child. As you can see from the image to the right, there are some public pictures of the cat trying to get close to the child laptop sexually. Heck, blame the photographer, Ronald, for taking such pictures and not stopping the cat and the laptop from feeling close in that manner!

Me, personally, I have no problem with the cat as I think it does not realize that many humans do not like such contacts with laptops. However, the issue here is the kidnapping of the laptop child, and not the pedophile cat or its master of a roommate Ronald who focused only on what the laptop could provide in terms of productivity and not on the relationship aspect of the laptops’ life. Let’s get the laptop child back now and let’s stalk the pedophile cat and yell at Ronald for being so careless later! Ronald is sad now, so let’s make sure he knows we are there for him! Hmmm ok wait, scratch that: I have to play an online game after this. Ok, Ronald is sad now, so let’s make sure he knows that YOU are there for him, and that I will be there for him soon hopefully. All this neighborhood investigation has bored me to death, so I need some time off. 6 minutes of total investigation takes a lot of effort people!

Community feels strong bias and discrimination by the police

Many community members have told me that they feel the law enforcement authorities are giving way too much attention to this even simply because it was an Apple laptop child that was stolen. “My damn’ Windows 95 laptop of 8 years was stolen last week and no one is investigating that“, a father of 2 new laptop children told me. Some other people pointed out the fact that most Windows laptops are dark in color, while the Apple laptops are usually white or silver in color. All local law enforcement authorities are denying that any racism is involved, citing that most law officers use computers running windows XP, that officers of many different colors from orange to blue to white to green to yellow to black to violet to red and more, are involved in the investigation. Furthermore, a short survey by me revealed that many officers do not know what a MacBook is, let alone know that Apple creates silver MacBook Pros; therefore, officers cannot discriminate against non-Apple laptop owners’ cases since they don’t even know what is missing. Ronald had to show them the laptop box, pictured above, to show the police officers the picture of the poor laptop child that was missing.

Those close to me want the laptop child to stay missing

My desktop and laptops are happy, though. They are laughing and saying “HAHA damn retarded over-hyped apple products! Doing the same exact thing that other products can do. Only thing they are definitely better at that is life-shattering is to get stolen and kidnapped.” Ignore my jealous desktop and laptop, please, and be well! They do not know what glamor is, since they grew up in a hard working family of computers which focused on bread and not gold, and thus they exist to help the poor and those in need instead of being like you, oh dear Apple MacBook Pro laptop child, where you focus mainly on those with fat wallets. You have a higher purpose in life but my laptop and desktops don’t, so please ignore their evil laughs and bad prayers, and instead be safe! When you get back you can laugh back at them!

What if you find any lonely laptop child?

So please, if you see a lonely baby laptop anywhere, see someone talking about selling a baby called “Apple MacBook Pro” or a see a child that has a 15″ screen sitting by the road somewhere, go and talk to the laptop child! See what is going on. Maybe it’s the laptop child Ronald lost! Maybe it is someone elses’ child! Who knows. If the laptop child does not belong to anyone, ask the police. Ask the local hospital. Ask the local tech shops and electronic stores. If no one knows the history of the laptop child you find, do one thing please: sell the laptop child.

Sell it on Amazon, on ebay, on craigslist, anywhere you wish. Since you tried and couldn’t find the laptop childs’ original home, you might as well make some money.

Take action, or make money!

So please, go get your holy books ready to pray for Ronalds’ laptop child, go get your jacket or t-shirt on to go look for the laptop, take out your own desktop and laptop child to search for the missing child laptop. And in the end get your Craigslist, ebay, and Amazon seller accounts ready. For if you do find a laptop child and cannot find where the laptop child came from, you can help find it a new home if you do not want to use it or do not want to get caught, and earn some money along the way too.

$500 reward for finding the laptop

This is also the part which you have to take the most seriously. Ronald is offering a $500 reward to anyone who can recover or find his laptop so Ronald can get his laptop back, undamaged. Ronald will pay you via Paypal.

Look for any Apple laptop child with the model number A1226 and serial number W87371FAXAG.

This is hoping that the laptop child is able to sleep tonight without any problems! My thoughts and wishes and my heart is with you, though my desktop and laptop are still praying that you die a horrible, anti-Microsoft death. Let us see what happens.

If you have any information about this Satan laptop child or would like to help with this ongoing investigation, please e-mail me or contribute below. Thank you!

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Female taxi drivers: California vs. Alabama

Seeing a female taxi driver in Alabama was nice and surprising at the same time, since in California you rarely see a female driving a taxi. The last two times I told someone about probably seeing a female taxi driver at Los Angeles International Airport and how that was a good thing, I was asked “You sure?” repeatedly as if I had imagined something horrible. And they say California is ahead of Alabama in every manner. Maybe it is ahead in terms of women being expected to take a more feminine role here in many places. Of course, in Alabama, you also have to consider that many females have to earn a living for the whole family and driving a taxi may be a good solution, compared to California where for females who want to support their families there are more opportunities other than driving.

Why do you think there are not that many woman taxi drivers out there, in America and in other parts of the world? Is safety, the reason that most people cite as the answer to such a question, the main or the only reason for such a trend?

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Following are 10 reasons for which you can avoid American Airlines, as of 2007. I am going to avoid American airlines for these very reasons, and a few more. The list below is not supposed to be in a chronological order: I will go back and forth in my trip to show you different aspects of how American Airlines operates, and how their operations affected me. This is also a way to tell you of my trip: you will find out where I was going and some brief details as to why I was traveling, among maybe a few other things.

1. Their in-flight food service is bad

   There used to be a day when you could eat all you want on a plane. “It’s ok, I will eat on the plane“, I used to think. Now, while the top executives reap in millions, customers are not served food so that the airline can save money. American Airlines only gives out a few soft drinks on most flights.

   American Airlines does allow you to bring your own food, but nowhere is this policy about bringing your own food printed on tickets or mentioned on their website. Only when you are in the terminal or sitting inside the plane do you slowly find out that people can bring their own food. The hunger at that time can drive you into thinking “If I take one or two of her Oreo cookies while she is sleeping, will she notice when she wakes up?” Wondering about that question enabled me to survive the journey while being extremely hungry.

2. Their baggage care and service is bad

   American Airlines lost my luggage when I was flying from Los Angeles to San Francisco. Then, after more than a day when the luggage was found, I found out that my luggage was missing items that were inside it. I had around $1000 worth of 3 items and a gift from someone that went missing. Not only that, my luggage had a few things and garments that belonged to some other passenger: noticeable, a man and a woman.

   After 3 weeks of phone tags and giving me an investigation numbers, American Airlines sent me papers to fill out to tell them the exact same story. Hopefully they can find my things. Here is the funny thing: American Airlines did not take the items from me that did not belong to me, telling me to hold on to them and someone will get them from me. It has been 4 weeks and I have someone else’s trousers, bra and a few other things. I keep forgetting everyday to drive to the airport and throwing them in front of the American Airlines baggage counter. Throwing them into the trash seems like a bad thing to do.

3. Their prices are bad

   American Airlines supposedly has the largest fleet, and still they charge more than others. Their planes are usually full. One good thing though: they have deals with different airlines, so you can probably find a good time to fly, most of the time, if you are willing to pay the price. Even with all the money coming in, they still complain of losses and other things. Where is all the money going?

   All of the money is definitely not going back into the service they provide, that is for sure. Nowadays they do not offer anything extra, serving only some soft drinks and water. Even when you ask for water 3 times on a 6 hour flight they make a weird face as if you were a kidnapped refugee who was not supposed to ever ask for water.

4. Their in-flight entertainment service is bad

   No TV, no audio jack, nothing. They do not even carry magazines or newspapers on both short or mid-long flights anymore. I remember the early 90’s, flying on several Asian, European, Middle East and a probably-then-Russian airline, and they all had TV’s, audio jacks with local radio, and lots of newspapers and magazines.

   Yet, American Airlines does not offer any of those. You just sit there, bored to death. I guess American Airlines can say “We are in the transportation business, not in the entertainment business.” If you want to avoid boredom, bring your own laptop and see if you can use it while in the air, or fly any of the several other airlines in America, like jetBlue or Virgin America. I tried to play text tags with Valerie while on the plane.

5. In my experience, majority of their staff’s attitude is bad

   Was it just my experience, or does the American Airline staff going from Texas to Alabama not greet or say bye to anyone who is not “white” or “black“? Was it just my experience, or does the American Airline staff going from Alabama to Texas not greet or say bye to anyone who is not “white” or “black“?

   Similarly, at the baggage claim counter in San Francisco, the staff acts as if they were kidnapped and forced to work there, and that they are letting out their frustration on the customers. Sure, when you work long hours you may probably be the person who bites others, but that is probably one of the exact reasons why American Airlines has staff with bad attitude: they do not hire more people to replace the already moody people. Again, where is all the money going?

   How about the attitude of the minority of their staff? I can say that ranged from no moodiness to being very happy to help. This is a very small minority from my experience. There was this very serious old guy who was working near the counter when I was checking in to fly from San Francisco. He was very serious and kept yelling at me to “not go to that counter” or “go to that counter.” Even though he was serious, he started asking me about my flight and started yelling at the top of his voice “You young person, you gonna miss your flight, hurry and don’t be lazy! Run to the gate. Don’t walk, RUN RUN or you cry!”

   It was like me being scolded in front of everyone at the airport as I was the youngest and everyone thought I had upset him or something. A young girl started asking her mother “Mommy, did this guy do something wrong? Why is he [the guy] yelling at him [me]?” Well, since I was younger than most people at that time the old guy sincerely wanted to help, thinking I was not aware of how serious it was for me to hurry. If I had not listened to him and had not run to the security check point and then to the gate, I would have missed my flight as within minutes of me passing through the security check point, dozens and dozens of people passengers started pouring in, and very long lines started forming.

   I prefer this old guys’ attitude and willingness to sincerely care and help instead of all the fake and forced smiles and serious faces that I saw on majority of the faces of American Airlines staff, who did not even care whether or not I am going to get my lost baggage or items back, let alone caring about me missing my flight. If that young girl ever finds this site, she is probably going to grow up to tell all her future kids “I saw Bes getting yelled at, hahaha! Hurry up or you will get yelled at too by someone!“

6. Their “shortage of staff” reason causes massive delays for customers after landing

   When I landed at San Francisco, Los Angeles, then San Francisco, Dallas, Birmingham, Dallas, and finally San Francisco again, the plane had to wait a long time before being able to connect or get near any terminal, each and every time at every airport. Sometimes the wait was as long as 40 minutes. We just sat there, on the runway, waiting for the American Airline or any other staff to prepare a gate for our arrival.

   The pilot gave this as the reason: “Due to shortage of staff in the entire airline industry, we have no one to work on our terminal gate, just like other airlines, and thus we have to wait for a while. Sorry about that.” Sure, it is not the pilot’s fault as he probably has to read the lines that American Airlines tells him to read, but I have rarely experienced such delays, after landing and being stuck sitting inside the plane, on 4 other airlines that I have flown at least 50 times last year alone within and outside California.

7. The probability of accommodations for missed or possible flights is very bad, even though American Airlines promises otherwise

   I wanted to meet Valerie going on my 2nd trip. When I was booking my flight, I called American Airlines over the phone and after hours of negotiation, I was told to fly to Dallas in Texas early in the morning, and to try to see if there was an available seat ona ny flight going to Missouri. I was told that there were usually no full flights going from Texas to Missouri, and that if I asked all the that went from Texas to Missouri, I would surely find something to take me to Missouri as part of a connecting flight that stayed for several hours in Missouri, and then onto Alabama.

   Well, I arrived in Dallas and realized that American Airlines staff there had a thing for beggars. They wanted me to beg. I reasoned, I pleaded. They kept telling me all flights are full and that even if they were not full they could not change my flight to have an extra connection. I told them I was “guaranteed” over the phone that if there was any seat availability I would be able to get it, specially I had paid extra to find a later flight to Alabama just in case I could not find any connecting flight to Missouri. “You would have to talk to the person who told you that over the phone.” Such answers seemed typical of American Airlines. After spending about 7 hours trying to get a connecting flight, I gave up, and flew to Alabama on the last flight for the day. Sorry Valerie for making you drive and keeping you waiting!

8. If you get your luggage but are missing items that were inside your luggage, American Airlines’ solution tactics are bad

   When my luggage was missing, I told the baggage claim counter at San Francisco International airport [SFO] about it. They filed down everything in the computer. Then, a day later, early morning, they called and asked the same information again. I told them the information and they said they have completely different information from what I was telling them. So I had to retell them the whole information. I kept asking them how they could mess up the information, and the lady on the phone kept repeating “You would have to ask those people you told about it.” Great answer, American Airlines. That answer is one of the worst examples of customer service.

   When my bag arrived after more a day, after midnight, I found that it was missing stuff and it had some guy and a girls’ stuff in it, mixed with whatever of my stuff had survived the journey, as I told you earlier. I filed a report about it on the spot, and called and filed another report about it over the phone within 4 hours.

   After 4 days, while I was on my trip in Alabama, I called to ask about my missing stuff from my baggage that had already been found. I was told that American Airlines had no information about me filing such a claim. I was told to contact the baggage service counter at the airport where I had landed, at the time the baggage went missing. That meant I had to talk in person to the people working at the American Airlines baggage counter in San Francisco. I could not fix the problem from Alabama. That was not a bad thing, as hanging out with Ronald in Alabama turned out to be more than a great experience.

   After I got back from my trip and immediately when I landed at the airport, I filed the report again by talking to the American Airlines baggage counter in San Francisco, who also said they had no information about me filing such a claim, and that the people who were present on the day I had originally filed a claim were not working that day. I was told that American Airlines would send me a single paper in the mail that I only needed to sign and send back. When I got the papers after 2 weeks, I found out that they were claim papers, where I had to fill out everything from scratch. I even had to report what items I was missing. Why was I told to file my claim in all those other steps and departments then?

9. The communication between different departments of American Airlines is bad

   The American Airlines phone support did not know that I had filed a claim for lost luggage in person at the American Airlines baggage claim counter at San Francisco Airport. The lost and found baggage warehouse of American Airlines, about 4 miles from the San Francisco airport, did not know about my claim of missing items even though the baggage claim department over the phone did later on. The American Airlines phone support was not aware of me filing a claim for missing items from my lost luggage that had been found, and about some other passengers’ items in my bag. The American Airlines baggage claim department at San Francisco airport was not aware of me filing a claim for missing items from my luggage, which was previously lost, which I had previously filed at the American Airlines lost and found baggage warehouse and also over the phone with the American Airlines lost and found baggage.

   Confused? Imagine what I was going through, running around for almost 2 days from my first flight so that I could recover my lost stuff and baggage before my 2nd flight to Texas only 2 days later.

   I contacted the American Airlines phone support, phone baggage claim, headquarters over the phone, San Francisco American Airlines baggage counter on the phone, San Francisco American Airlines baggage counter in person, the American Airlines lost and found baggage warehouse over the phone, and the American Airlines lost and found baggage warehouse in person. I did not contact these departments on my own. I was told in each case by American Airlines staff to contact these departments to file the claims for the different headaches that American Airlines had brought to me and my traumatized luggage.

   Thus, I followed the proper procedure that I was told, and even after contact them on all those levels, I was sent through all the loops where different parts of the loop did not know I was doing things the loop itself had told me. Now, I have been sent papers to file my claim and start all over again.

10. If you believe American Airlines advertisements, your expectations may be destroyed because of reality, which is not that good

    There is probably no doubt that if all you want is to fly and you do not run into any issues and you do not want any extra service and you do not run into any issues and you fly from less popular airports, American Airlines may do a better job that many other airlines because of the number of flights they have and the number of cities they operate. However, anything more than the most basic, and you can run into issues.

    You know those ads they show on TV, which show the American Airlines staff remembering all the customer names and talking to them like friends? Well, I met and talked with at least 6 people at least 7 times, and every time each of them would treat me as if they saw me for the first time. No one remembered anyone’s name, even the names of passengers at San Francisco terminal who were yelling at American Airlines baggage staff that they had been “waiting for 6 hours to find my luggage, as I have no clothes and nothing to go to my hotel with, and you keep asking me the same information!” Where are all the smiling and caring people they show on American Airlines ads?

Well, that is it for now. These are the 10 reasons I will try to avoid American Airlines in the future unless I book at the last minute and/or American Airlines is the only airline to fly to the city I want to go to. Can you think of more points?

What do you think? Have you ever experienced anything similar?

Thank you for reading

I really, really appreciate you reading all of this. I hope some of this information can be helpful in some manner to you, should you run into any issues with American Airlines.

Thank you.

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Opening a business with a friend can have the following 3 random benefits and downsides.

3 random benefits

1. More honest and open communication about issues
2. More chances of solving business problems as if they were friendship problems
3. Fewer chances of being taken advantage of by the other person in the business

3 random downsides

1. Friendship can get affected because of the existence of money and personal interest in the business
2. Existence of friendship can result in one person not taking the business or business issues seriously
3. Friends may not realize if their honest, friendly communication is satisfactory enough for the business to work properly

Opening business with a reliable non-friend contact

Similarly, opening a business with a reliable non-friend contact can have the following 3 random benefits and downsides.

3 random benefits

1. More formal and effective communication
2. More chances of both parties addressing different issues openly so that they can be satisfied, resulting in more issues coming to the spotlight quickly
3. Professional relation with the business partner means both partners will know exactly what to expect, in contrast to the confusion that may result because of a friendship

3 random downsides

1. More chances of being taken advantage of if one partner does not feel fully satisfied
2. Less chances of talking openly about one’s emotions and feelings about the business
3. Fewer chances of solving a business problem on a personal level

A business with a close friend or a reliable non-friend contact?

So, what do you think? Do you feel more comfortable with the idea of opening a business with a friend or with a reliable contact who is not yet your friend?

Please let me know what you think or if you have any questions, thank you.

[Update: September 9th, 2007 - 2:00 pm PST] For this question, Stacee in the comments for this question asked if the friend was reliable also. I have updated the above question and added the following line in the 2nd paragraph of this article: “Last, imagine that the non-friend contact has shown reliability in other business situations, and that you do not know about the business reliability of your close friend; you only know that your friend is your close friend.” Thank you Stacee. [/ end of update]

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1. Many taxi drivers honk at everything

   You did not start driving the very millisecond the light turned green? The taxi driver will honk at you. You slowed down by one mile and are still over the speed limit? How dare you: the taxi driver behind you will honk at you. You are waiting at a pedestrian walk and letting some people walk by in front of you? Boohoo! You deserve a honking.

   Honking, or using the horn, can cause a lot of stress or anxiety in others. It is a perceived sign in most cases that our action is not right, and thus many people simply become nervous and upset because of being honked at for something they cannot identify.

2. Taxi drivers drive too fast

   You get scared while driving at 80 mph in a 75 mph zone. However, many taxi drivers feel that you driving at 80 mph in a 75 mph zone is too slow. Speed up! Speed limits were meant to be broken. Your car comes with the capability to drive at up to 120 mph for a reason.

   Driving fast and having an even faster drivers right behind you can cause stress. I see many taxi drivers sometimes driving less than 50 inches from fast cars in front of them. I am guessing everyone has an emergency of some kind, like the emergency to avoid slow driving.

3. Taxi drivers suddenly switch lanes without showing any sign or an indicator

   Try changing lanes without showing any indicator and coming in front of a fast taxicab. You will probably be honked at, like by the taxi drivers in point #1 above. However, many of the same taxi driver will change lanes without showing any indicator or sign.

   Last year a Ford taxicab driver changed lanes and came right in front of me, less than 50 or 60 inches from my car, while we are both driving at the speed limit. He did not show any indicators, and thus I had to hit the brakes and slow down myself, with cars behind me hitting their brakes also. The car right behind me could not slow down on time and I got rear-ended, with the car behind me getting read-ended also. Insurance covered me 100% through various ways because it was not my fault, but the people behind me were not that fortunate. The taxi driver who played a major role in the entire accident didn’t have to feel any stress or waste any time at all, since he kept driving and was never caught.

4. There is usually no stop sign, no speed bump, and no respect for a non-paying walking pedestrian life for many taxi drivers

   You stop at a stop sign. Many taxi drivers only slow down at a stop sign. You slow down over a speed bump. Many taxi drivers do their best to see how high they can fly while speeding over a speed bump. You stop when someone is crossing the street, even if the light is green and they are crossing illegally. Many taxi drivers keep driving at the same speed when they see a pedestrian walking.

   I was crossing the road near a movie theatre earlier this year, at a stop sign. A taxi driver was approaching and did not slow down at all for the stop sign, where I was crossing. I had to run to save my life while the speeding taxicab passed without stopping at the stop sign. The taxicab missed me by the length of my jacket’s end: the end of my jacket touched the right side mirror of the taxicab and I felt a small pull by my jacket in the direction where the taxicab was headed. The risks Bes has to take to watch movies are just countless.

5. For many taxi drivers, no space is too small, and no opportunity is too risky

   Taxi drivers can be great risk takers. If they see a small opening between two cars, they will try to squeeze through. If they see an opportunity to pass someone by changing lanes while other nearby speeding cars are approaching in those same lanes, the taxi drivers will still change lanes and force the other drivers to slow down.

   The small scratch to both cars while the taxi driver tries to squeeze through? $120. The brakes that die because a taxi driver suddenly jumps into your lane without giving you much space to avoid the taxicab? $900+. The accidents that happen because of some taxi drivers doing whatever they please because they think they have more rights over the road simply because they earn money driving? A few lives and broken bones. The terrifying look on your face when you see such taxi drivers jump right in front of you and the evil happy look on those taxi drivers’ faces? Priceless.

A personal example: when I was a taxi driver

A few years ago a friend of mine who owned a private taxicab took me around with him while giving his customers rides. My friend would tell his passengers, or customers, that he was teaching me how to drive a taxicab. I was only hanging out with him as he did not have enough time to hang out with me by not driving a taxicab and still earn a living. I did help my friend a few times for free, by driving around his customers while he had some emergencies.

While driving the taxicab, I noticed that many customers would like me, and many would get upset because of my untypical driving. Some upset customers would give me advice on how to be aggressive to everyone on the road, whether or not it was warranted, so that I could get to destinations with a little bit more aggressiveness. It was interesting to see many customers advocating the harsh driving of taxicabs, in order to get to a destination faster even when there was no need to hurry. Maybe being inside a taxicab and having the taxi driver allow control of the taxicab mentally prompted many customers to become more aggressive. I soon realized that an angry taxi driver could be more threatening to a walking or a driving murderer on the road than the police itself.

Benefits of living in the Bay Area - you can avoid taxis and love the subways

As for me, one of the benefits of living in the Bay Area in Northern California is to use the BART subway systems, and not have to worry about taxi drivers and their time schedules. Of course, if I ever notice a taxi driver driving normally or if I am in a taxicab and the driver is driving slowly and following the rules while being considerate to people, I wonder if I have finally found Travis Bickle.

You can try to run me over, but you can’t stop me from getting to my movie on time! Long live the previews!

So, there you have it: 5 random ways many taxi drivers cause a lot of stress for other people on or around the road, and some of my direct and indirect personal experiences. Can you think of any other points? Do you have any questions or comments about the above points or this topic in general?

Thank you for reading.

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Following are 3 good and 3 bad points, chosen randomly, of having the same contacted listed in more than one of the instant messaging or e-mail accounts you have have.

Pros of having the same contact on more than one e-mail and instant messaging account:

1. Talk via a different account if the primary account is not working
2. Talk advantage of different accounts for different things - one for texting, one for webcam, etc
3. Separate business and personal communication with the same person

Cons of having the same contact on more than one e-mail and instant messaging account:

1. Make communication more confusing with a person by having too many unnecessary channels of communication
2. Have too many duplicate contacts across your instant messaging and e-mail accounts
3. Harder to keep track of all the communication through different accounts between you and the other person

So, do you have any contact who is listed on more than one of your instant messaging or e-mail accounts? Is there a reason for that? Do you think it is a good or a bad thing?

Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think.

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1. Laundry

   If you share any laundry machine with any of your neighbors, you can easily annoy them. Leave your clothes in the washer or the dryer, and do not take them out for hours. The next person who wants to do laundry will probably check repeatedly, every half hour or so, to see if you picked up your clothes.

   I currently have many laundry options, including shared laundry with a few neighbors. I decided to do laundry while talking to a friend in Europe. After washing my clothes, I noticed someone else’s clothes in the dryer. I waited for that neighbor to come and pick up the clothes. After almost 4 hours of waiting, I knocked at my neighbor’s door and asked politely if she could help. She had just woken up from sleep, sincerely apologized and took out the clothes from the dryer. That was fine and really nice of her. I told my friend all of this, and he said I should blog about it. This very post is because of that friend and that situation.

   I put my clothes in the dryer for 70 minutes and told my friend I was going to take a nap. I woke up very late, about 2 hours after the dryer had finished drying. I went to the laundry room and noticed the same neighbor waiting for me to take out my clothes from the dryer so she could put her newly washed clothes in it. In my friend’s view, I became the very inconvenience for a person that I may have felt only a few hours ago from that very person. That was a good example of how sometimes a random thing, like sleeping a bit longer than usual, can result in others being inconvenienced even though we did not intend to. When I talked to my friend again and told him what had happened, he could not stop laughing. I wonder if he is going to make fun of me using that example forever.

2. Car

   If you and your neighbors have a car, you can annoy them by parking in weird ways to make sure they have a hard time entering or leaving the parking area. Park in the middle of the driveway, or park very close to their car so that they cannot get in it easily.

   Someone has to go to work? Big deal. Let them learn new driving skills, or let them come to your door to make you move the car. Someone has an emergency? Well, if they have an emergency, they will come looking for me and then I can move the car. I had an emergency 4 nights ago and had to leave instantly. A car was blocking my way, and I had never seen that car before. After trying different neighbors, one of them finally came out and moved the car. In an emergency situation where you have to be somewhere immediately around midnight to help someone, arriving 25 minutes late can sometimes be bad. This brings us to the next point, which is…

3. Your friends

   If your friends come over, make sure you let them do whatever they please. Do not keep an eye on their activities, and if you do notice them inconveniencing your neighbors in any manner, do not tell them anything unless the neighbor comes and asks you about it.

   Friends are making a mess? Who cares. Friends are supposedly forever, neighbors can move anytime. Friends are using other people’s laundries or blocking driveways? Who cares. Friends should have fun, and neighbors should stay away. Friends are being loud? Who cares. Friends can be loud in your place so you can be loud in their’s. That brings us to the next point, which is….

4. Neighbor’s privacy spots

   One of the best ways to annoy your neighbors is to be invade their privacy. The entire area is someone’s property, and not your neighbor’s. Even if your neighbor owns it all, they do not own the right to your body, which you can position and direct to do many things.

   Hover around your neighbor’s car while they are in it. Have loud barbeque right by their window. Use flashlights and scream to points things in every direction in the middle of the night and make sure they notice it by their window.

5. Favors

   Ask your neighbors for favors, and then make them regret that they decided to help you. Whatever they do for you, directly or indirectly, abuse such a thing to not directly hurt them but to abuse the actual favor.

   I recently start giving free wifi access to some of my new neighbors who asked for it. They are not paying anything for a $60+ package. One of the neighbors knows how downloading and bandwidth works, and he downloads thousands of gigabytes of movies and other things every few days. He leaves his laptop on and simply goes out to party, leaving me to have an internet connection that suffers at random times during the day. Long live the “Click here to disconnect this wireless user” button.

So, there you have it. If you want to annoy your neighbors, try one of the 5 above techniques, and your neighbors will surely love you in ways you probably never want them to.

Have you or do you know someone who has experienced similar things?

What do you think? Have you run into anything similar or know someone who has? I found Stacee’s housing and neighbors related posts to be very good examples of how some neighbors and roommates can be continuously annoying. You may find them interesting too. Sorry you had to go through that Stacee!

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it. I have to stop writing now, as I notice that wifi guy to be hogging the entire bandwidth again. Time to find the “Click here to disconnect this wireless user” button.

[update: August 29th, 1:34 pm PST] My friend told me, while he was laughing, that he was laughing at the situation and would never laugh at me. Therefore, for the 3rd paragraph under the list subheading “Laundry“, I have changed the sentence “When I talked to my friend again and told him what had happened, he could not stop laughing at me” to “When I talked to my friend again and told him what had happened, he could not stop laughing“, removing the “at me” part. Thanks Robin. [end of update]

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