The Moocher’s Guide To Riding In Bes’s Car - Part 1 • 01.25.08
Cars. Many of us drive them. Many of us see them. Many of us get rides from other people. When giving someone a ride, I notice a different set of characteristic in some people that goes hand in hand with the similarities they express with a group of people who get a car ride. Many times, people who get car rides either do not know how to behave, or they simply do not want to care about the driver who is giving them a ride.
Today I would like to start a 4-post series of articles revolving around things that people do while getting a free car ride, things that they should not be doing. The articles focus on people who do not know me very well, or are not friends with me. Friends can also keep these points in mind to see whether or not their own other friends like the trends and behavior mentioned here, when they themselves are involved in giving or getting a car ride.
This is the first part of the series.
Part 1 - Seven things for non-friends to avoid while getting a car ride from me
You yourself may have done something that you later thought to be inconsiderate for the driver, or you may have given a ride to someone not close to you and experienced some discomfort because of the behavior of your passenger. I have given rides to many people, many of whom have acted very strange or done weird things from time to time. Some things are small, while others can be big. Starting today, I would like to draw your attention to some of such things.
- Putting your feet everywhere
So many people do this, it seems that one day someone will call me abnormal for thinking this should not be the norm. Ask the driver if you can put your feet on things other than the floor mat. Otherwise, putting your feet on the seat, the dashboard or even on the actual gearbox which the driver uses to change gears might result in the driver thinking you are riding in an air balloon. Or maybe not, as even in the air balloon you have to do your best to keep your feet on the platform.I knew someone who used to take off his shoes or slippers and put his feet on my car dashboard, the stereo area or the gearbox. I tried to focus on other things when I realize that he was not wearing any socks and his feet smelled. However, when the topic of what to eat came around, it was hard not to notice the bad smell when all you want to do is smell chicken or cheese cake and instead all you can smell is feet that were in shoes without socks for hours. It is bad for the car, it is bad for others, it is bad for me, it is bad for you. If you want a ride, please keep your feet on the floor. I am giving you a free ride, and thus you do not need to pay me back with your feet smell.
- Slamming doors or the trunk real hard
These days, the right front passenger door of my car makes a kind of a hissing and flapping sound on the outside when I’m driving fast. The sound is coming from the side rubber panels that have ripped away from the actual door, thanks for many people getting a ride and then slamming the door of the car as if it will not close unless closed with full plutonic force. Also, people think that trunks are made out of unbreakable materials, or they try to shut the trunk hard to make sure drivers can feel that the trunk has been closed.
The main guy who caused those passenger door rubber rods to flap out knows about it, and simply says “It was like that since the beginning“, when he himself said “Man, what is that sound? It wasn’t there before.” It is like giving me a gift in return for me giving you a ride: I give you a ride and you give me a damaged door.
- Changing the radio station or audio volume without asking first
This is not the rule that you see in stereotypical Hollywood movies where anyone who is black starts shooting if their car radio station is changed by someone else. If I am listening to a radio station, simply ask if you can change it or say you want to change it and then go ahead and change it if I do not object.
I was listening to an important news last year about a bridge that collapsed in the Bay Area on a station I accidentally found through the channel search feature on my radio, and the person I was giving the ride to got into the car and immediately put on a preset I had set on the radio without asking or even thinking first. He just wanted to listen to random music. I could not find that new station again, and as expected the route I took to avoid that damaged bridge was crowded, resulting in a more than 2 hour drive that spanned around 7 miles.
- Not closing car windows completely
If I am driving and I can hear wind flushing through some lightly open window, I try to close that window. “You are hearing too much.” No, I want to close the window completely. “You must have really good hearing.” No, I want to close the window completely. “You are too paranoid.” No, I want to close the window completely. I am not sure how people can sit and ignore or not hear such a sound while assuming that they have closed the window completely. The sound that the air makes squeezing in through that small layer of opening is loud enough to reach the driver, me, all the way from the passenger side; how come the passenger does not care where that sound is coming from?
In addition to hearing, you can feel the wind blowing in a little bit from the back, as the air gushes in and comes back to the front. So if you are hard at hearing or cannot hear, slowly you may get used to the change in the air in the car and realize that some window is not fully closed. If not, then I must have super powers in order to hear and feel that some window is not fully closed, and be able to pinpoint which window too. Similarly, if you open some window and I drop you, close the window and do not just leave it open. I am driving the car and unless I was part of the Fantastic Four, I have to lean at least a little bit in order to drive and roll up your window also. You did something. You undo it too when you are leaving.
- Opening different car doors without asking first
If you want to put your bags in the back, try to ask first. Simply walking up to a car you have never or rarely ridden in and trying to open the back door or the trunk or actually opening the trunk or the locks of the back doors without asking is impolite. It is like opening other people’s house doors to lodge the extra stuff you have. Maybe the driver has stuff that he/she can move, or maybe they would like you to put your stuff in some specific location. Asking first is better than opening the car openings without permission.I used to give a ride to a scary neighbor from time to time, and since day 1 he would come and start opening the doors in the entire car without asking and putting even his lightest of belongings, like his cap, in the back. A few times he would try to open the trunk and then tap hard on the trunk a few times, signaling me to open it. Make sure you pay me if I’m your slave driver. Or wait: are slaves supposed to be paid? Hmmm.
- Making the driver come to you instead of you walking to the car
What is with people who want car rides and do not walk towards the car when it is there for them? I have to drive all the way to align the car door to their feet in order for them to get in. Soon they will want me to open the door and carry them and put them into their seats also. It is as if the person getting the ride is doing the ride giver a favor.
A person I was giving a ride to, regularly during some weeks last year, never used to walk to the car. If I had trouble getting past other cars, or if there were many pedestrians and I had to wait for those pedestrians to cross, this person would not walk over even if he was only less than 20 feet away. He used to stand there looking at my car, holding his back pack and waiting for my car door to align with his right foot. I should have charged him for the limo service that he was getting.
- Putting your belongings everywhere without asking
This goes along a little bit with the point of opening extra doors or the trunk to put your stuff in: if you have a lot of stuff, it is nice to ask where to put it. Putting dirty stuff on clean things or clean stuff on dirty things usually results in clean things getting dirty, and not dirty things getting cleaned.
Someone I gave ride to long time ago would put his dirty, wet dirty bag onto the clean back seat or my books that were supposedly sitting quietly on the back seat. Once the book the bag sat on caused the first half of that small book to soak in the water. The reaction of the guy when I told him about it? “Ohhh, I guess those two don’t get along with each other.” Whether or not that made sense, I knew that cars and this guy did not get along: he did not deserve to be in a car.
7 things to avoid on your next ride with me - till the next part of this series at least
There you go. Those are the 7 things to avoid, when getting a car ride, for today. Stay tuned for the next time when 7 more horrible sins are revealed for your consideration, in case you wanted to annoy some driver while he or she was giving you a ride, or if you wanted to make sure I think agreeing to give you a ride was a bad idea.
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if you have experienced any of these points yourself, or if you have yourself done any of the above. 
Posted in Generalwith 28 Comments →
