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Online dating services like Match, eHarmony, LavaLife, True, FriendFinder and Yahoo Personals allow you to meet new people to have relationships with. Some services like Yahoo Personals are free, while services like True cost money. Some services can have you up and searching for a supposed soulmate within 5 minutes by answering less than 10 questions. Other services, like eHarmony, make you answer around 436 questions before you can be shown any results.

Some people get good results using such services, finding the right person to date or become engaged to. Some other people do not get any results with such services, since the concept of relationships is really hard in the offline world, and the online nature of approaching dating makes it only more complicated for many people. For many people, simply looking at a picture does not match the level of observation one can make by actually observing a person in the offline world.

Do you like the idea of using online dating services?

Do you think it is a good idea to use online dating services to meet new people? Or do you prefer meeting new people through mediums other than those offered by online dating services?

Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading.

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Good things:

Yesterday, I added an old friend of mine on MySpace to my MySpace account. We have not talked for almost 7 years for reasons I cannot remember, so I am not sure if she will add me as her friend, or if she will freak out and say “Who the heck is Bes? Gonna block this psycho!@!@!@!@!” That is a benefit of using MySpace. Not the blocking part, but the finding old friends part.

Also, you can keep in touch with friends through different things including MySpace Instant Messaging. You can also become part of the school and university groups, rate your professors too.

Bad things:

One of the flaws of using MySpace is relying on a service that is not reliable and something which does not have that many features. Spam and scamming MySpace messages haunt MySpace users. Many porn and dating services are creating fake profiles to lure unsuspecting and maybe desperate people in. Also, many psychos and stalkers are on MySpace, probably tracking different users for whatever reasons.

On top of that, MySpace is becoming more and more of an advertising network where more focus is being put on bringing ads to the users instead of adding features or building MySpace from scratch on many levels to make it more user friendly. I think Facebook learned a lot from MySpace, which is good for Facebook, and uncertain for MySpace.

What do you think of MySpace? Do you like, or would you like to use MySpace?

Some people do not use MySpace to find new people, but to simply keep in touch with people who already have MySpace, and to keep in touch with people who only want to keep in touch through MySpace. So, do you like using MySpace? Do you have, or plan to use MySpace?

Thank you for reading.

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1. You use the online language in the offline world.

   On paper, you preferring writing “U” instead of “You.” You say “LOL” in the offline world when you want to laugh. The post office cashier says “Have a nice day” and you say 4 letters “TTYL“, sending the cashier into a world of confusion.

2. You always want to know if your offline contacts have blogs or MySpace or Facebook accounts.

   You make a frustrated face if people do not have any online presence and instead have cell phone numbers to share with you. When you get a speeding ticket, you start wondering if you can pay it online and if the cops have blogs while the cop is writing you a ticket. You wonder if that cop has a MySpace account that you can block.

3. You always think of checking e-mails before you think of getting out of bed in the morning.

   You think of brushing and washing face at least an hour after you wake up, because that is the amount of time you usually spend skimming through many of the e-mails you get. While brushing, you think of how to respond to some e-mails, and how to check more e-mails. Your entire day may revolve around 24 e-mail accounts, and not 24 hourly blocks.

4. You revolve offline activites around online activities.

   You plan going to the movies depending on how long it will take you to watch random videos on YouTube. You plan eating times depending on when no one is online on instant messengers from MSN, Yahoo, Google, AOL, Skype or MySpace; you pause your eating and going out if even a single contact is online to talk to you. You may not talk to them, but you will also not leave them alone in the online world. Food can wait.

5. You cannot remember the last time you stayed offline for more than three hours, except for when you slept for 3 hours and 10 minutes.

   From the moment you wake up, you prefer looking at a monitor or any screen that allows you to access the online world. Even while getting a ride, or getting on the subway, you keep focusing on your laptop or your cell phone to keep in touch with the online world of games and messaging. One of the reasons you hate driving is because you cannot easily access your e-mail through your cell phone while driving; you can, but you do not want to die either. You do not fear death because it is death; you fear it because you do not know if you will be able to check e-mails after you die.

This list told you about 5 random signs that show you spend too much time online. From sticking to online language to wanting all offline people to have an online social networking account, to checking e-mails all the time to revolving your life around the internet, and not remembering the last time you stayed offline for a while, you can figure out whether or not you yourself spend too much time online.

Can you come up with some other points? I am going to end this article now, as I have to do some things online, then eat, and then head out to see either Sunshine or The Simpsons.

Thank you for reading.

[Update: 7 minutes after this article was published: Sunshine started 12 minutes ago. I must have forgotten the timing, or they changed it. Oh well: The Simpsons, or no movie tonight. ]

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1. I do not like debates, since I never try to debate. I try to express ideas so at least those ideas can be considered by others. I prefer explaining my idea so others can understand my viewpoint or having the idea accepted than to debate simply to get attention.
2. I have 4 confirmed online stalkers as of now. Some may say that this is not something that makes me weird, but the common element in all of these things is probably me, among a few other things, so this point probably counts too.
3. I like to reply to every comment.
4. I do not like talking about topics simply to carry on a conversation. If I talk about something, I am genuinely interested.
5. I place a lot of value differentiating between real and fake things. If I see someone online or offline saying something, and I observe them for some time and notice that their actions contradict their saying, I can know where they are faking things, consciously or unconsciously.
6. I cannot remember a time in the last 6 months when I was not hungry for more than 2 hours. Even if it is just a feeling of “I’m hungry” and I’m completely fine not eating all day too, the feeling and the idea is still there. This is one of my trademarks among my close group of friends.

Those are the 6 weird things I could think of quickly about myself. Sure, there are a thousand other weird things about me as many people know, so the list above can be considered a random list chosen simply by the order I thought about them on a random whim.

I would like to tag Simonne, Nicole, Jess, Sawai, Vix and Vera for this meme

For this meme, I would like to tag Simonne, Nicole, Jess, Sawai, Vix and Vera. If anyone else would like to participate in this meme, please go ahead and do so, and let me know so I can link to you. Thank you.

Sorry for the late response, Sidney, and thank you so much for the tag.

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For some people, a blog about relationships may do better if the author’s relationship status is shared with the readers. Some people may want to be open through their online presence, so listing their relationship details may appear to be necessary on their blogs or comments. Similarly, some people may want to list your relationship status on places like MySpace or Facebook because they may simply want to be open, or they may want to meet other people to have some kind of a relationship with, like solely friendship or sometimes dating too.

Do you like revealing your relationship status online?

Do you like telling others online whether you are single, married, divorced, engaged or something else through your blog, comments or on social networking profiles?

Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

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Many people consider any rich blogger to be a successful A-list bloggers. Any blogger who does not disclose the amount of money she or he makes, or does not appear to be making money, is not considered an A-list blogger by those same people. Similarly, a website given a very high rank through services like “Technorati Popular Blogs” list tend to be called and considered A-list bloggers. How many blogs can you find on that Technorati list that you like reading on a regular basis?

Non A-list Blogs

In contrast, take the ever-changing “The Reasoner Links” list, which is going to receive another fresh review soon. There are different reasons why a site may be listed on that list. I may find some sites interest, while other times the blogger may be trying something new with the concept of blogging. Some of the sites listed are of other bloggers from the original blogging days who helped define blogging and related, yet now they are not considered A-list bloggers by many people, because those bloggers either do not make a lot of money or they are not considered that important by services like Technorati.

Do you prefer A-list blogs over other blogs?

So, in your view, do you prefer reading A-list blogs over non-A-list blogs? Why or why not?

I would love to hear any opinion on this. Thank you for reading.

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I was reading a blog post by Connor Wilson recently, in which Connors was opposed to the idea of a guy called Franky criticizing Matt Mullenweg regarding the issue of banning sponsored WordPress themes for the WordPress platform. In the post, Connor also said the following:

In the above quote, Connor said that Franky should not use the name of Matt in order to generate traffic for Franky’s site. That made me think: how can one be sure that a blog article really intends to be critical, and how can one be sure when a blog article was written simply to attract traffic? Is there a way to prove that something was written to be critical, or if something was written only to generate traffic? The same idea can be applied to Franky’s post; how can we know he really got affected by Matt’s decision on sponsored WordPress themes, since he is still using the WordPress software on the very site he criticized Matt on?

Some people criticize in order to be heard. Others criticize to get website traffic. Yet others combine the two to get both.

There is nothing wrong with producing quality content and expecting incoming traffic. That is why whenever there is a critical analysis about something, one of the questions that comes to my mind is “Why is he or she interested in this topic?” Similarly, when a post is not a critical analysis and is instead simply criticism about something, I wonder about the same question. Sometimes, people write articles simply to impress readers and generate traffic. Other times, people criticize others because they actually feel they are not satisfied with something.

Is there a way to find out when a blog post was written only to get traffic, or if it was written with at least a little bit intention of sincerely talking about some issue?

That makes me wonder if there is any good way to figure out when a criticizing article was written to be only a linkbait, and when a criticizing article was written because there was something useful to write about. Can I say that Connor was only trying to generate traffic for his site by criticizing Franky, or can I say that Franky was only trying to generate traffic for his site by criticizing Matt? Can they both be sincerely criticizing something they are not happy with? Or could they both be using different names simply to attract traffic? How can you be sure that this very post of mine that you are reading was not written only to generate traffic?

Is it ever possible to criticize someone else without being called a person who only wants publicity and nothing else?

Are stereotyping or misinterpreting writing which criticizes someone or something we value to be written only to generate traffic and for no other benefit? Is writing something to generate traffic always bad? How can we ever criticize anyone or anything without worrying that someone out there may think that we are criticizing intentionally only to get attention for our website? Is anything that is done to earn money or get something like blog traffic not good at all? What level of scale or analysis can be used online to find out the answer?

The answer can very easy or hard, depending on whether or not we have experience with such things in both the online and the offline world.

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1. The offline contacts you talk about may find out your site, causing relationship issues.
2. You may alienate online people because of the way you treat offline people through your offline stories.
3. Offline businesses may not give you their business, in the form of a contract or employment, if they see you talking about offline businesses.
4. Online, things can be taken out of context, and thus appear to be completely different what they really are in the offline world.
5. Your online privacy will be reduced. More online people will know about your personal life, creating more ways for stalkers and similar people to intrude on your life if they want to.

Do you blog about or like reading blogs about personal life stories from the offline world?

What is your opinion on this? Do you currently talk about offline people and events in your online blog? Do you like reading people’s offline stories on online websites? Do you think it is a good thing to express the personal things from the offline world online, or do you prefer keeping things in their own offline/online realm?

Thank you for reading.

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There could be several reasons you would want to interact with people outside of a blog. Following is a random list of 6 such reasons:

1. Make online friends
2. Make online contacts to help yourself or others with businesses or blogs
3. Make online contacts to learn about something
4. Make online contacts to help them convert to offline friends and contacts - my favorite
5. Make online friends to fulfill hobbies, like exchanging gifts
6. To promote a weird kind of drama, the one to get yourself headaches and stalkers - this is a personal classic of mine that is revisited more than once every year or so for almost 6 years. I’m hoping to avoid it beginning this year.

6 random ways to interact with people outside of blog comments area

There can also be several ways to interact with people outside of a blog commenting area, like the following 6 ways:

1. E-mails
2. Instant messages
3. Text messages
4. Online voice conferences
5. Online webcam conferences
6. Snail mail - more and more people are giving this up. I think I would never want to give this up

An example of interacting via Snail Mail with online people: Sidney from Bubbles SOC

A good example of this is Sidney from BubblesSoc; Sidney has a very nice habit of sending me amazing gifts in the mail from time to time, and I still have to send her a lot of things that I have not had the time to pack and mail, because of packing and mailing a lot of other stuff. She is very good at it; I want to be as good too. She knows how to build relationships and make good friends that way. Just because of this, I consider Sidney a very nice and considerate person and friend. Maybe I like her gifts a lot?

For another example of this, you can read how Ronald became friends with a few online people by interacting with them for different reasons and through different levels. Ronald is a good friend of mine because of many reasons, including what he wrote in his post.

Do you build relations with others outside of a blog?

If I had not interacted with some people, and vice versa, outside of the blog comments on either my site or other sites, I would not know many of the wonderful and interesting friend that I know now. Similarly, had I refrained from interacting with certain people outside of the comments area, I would have saved myself from a lot of headache, a stabbing, and a few stalkers. Cute stalkers who hate knives and any harmful, physical objects are always welcome, though, I think.

So, do you like building relations with bloggers and commentors outside of a blog? Could the reasons you build such relations affect the level of relationship you can end up with?

Thank you for reading.

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Personal Blogs

A personal blog can be a place where a blogger talks about his or her daily life, daily outtake on things, or even opinions about certain topics. A personal touch is added where the personal and human emotion and feeling and analysis, among several other things, are given preference over business or non-personal attitudes. I also recently talked about how personal blogs can and should have subniches, something which has not yet been done effectively because many people still think personal blogging is not a niche at all. Spoken-For and BubblesSoc are examples of how personal blogs can compete with non-personal blogs very effectively with interesting, personal designs and useful perspective on things.

Non-Personal Blogs

A non-personal blog can be a place where a blogger does not aim to get personal with the readers. For example, places like Google Analytics Blog, MyBlogLog Blog, and even CopyBlogger are places where the focus of an entity is on a certain topic and promoting an idea to the readers. In this case, Google and MyBlogLog blogs are simply advertisements and news blogs, promoting a certain company and its products and services. CopyBlogger is a great example of a non-personal blog that delivers very useful information to people looking for help with online copy writing.

Are there any other categories?

Yes, and I think you are looking at one of them. A third kind of category is a hybrid of personal blogs, non-personal blogs and a few other things. The personal message, ideas, ideals and values are never let go, and the actual style changes depending on the message at hand. I also like to think that every blog can be a personal blog, if certain elements are present in that blog.

Do you prefer non-personal blogs over personal blogs? How about your own blog, or the blogs you read?

What is your opinion about this? Do you prefer reading or writing non-personal blogs over personal blogs? Would you consider a personal blogger as important as a non-personal blogger?

Thank you for reading.

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1. Importance is based on earnings

   Many people think that the richer a blogger is, the more important that blogger is supposed to be. The next time you run into a blogger and want to act discriminatory, or simply want to stereotype them, simply find out how much money they make, and worship them accordingly.

   This stereotype is the reason why you see so many immature and manipulative bloggers running around claiming authority, when all they have is an authority on the amount of money they make. Have money? Will worship.

2. Intelligence of others is based on their topics of interest

   Because of this stereotype, most personal bloggers and personal blogs are not taken seriously by many in the blogosphere. Sure, talking about overcooking the tuna may be interesting to someone, but you think such bloggers need sympathy and mental help. For you, the only normal bloggers may be the ones who talk about ways to make money, or they talk about topics which make them money, enabling you to use the first point above into your judgment too.

   This stereotype is one of the reasons personal bloggers are considered to be less knowledgeable, and also less important, than many other kinds of bloggers. This very stereotype may also blind you from the fact that personal bloggers shaped the origins and the beginning of the blogging trend. Instead of feeling lucky that you know bloggers and personal bloggers who have defined history for all future bloggers for generations to come, you simply think “A blog about daily life? This blogger has no life!“

3. Disagreements mean there are enemies

   This is one of the classics. If you see a blogger talking about something which disagrees with what you believe either directly or indirectly, you use the offline stereotype regarding disagreements and immediately start considering that blogger to be your life-long enemy. A blogger says Honda is the best but you think Ford is superior? You pray for that blogger’s doom. They eat 3 times a day but you prefer eating 5 times a day? You start attacking them directly and personally for not living their life the way you want them to live their life.

   Everyone can have their own understanding of the world, but this offline stereotype, which even prompts many people to find mirror copies of themselves to date, results in people feeling that the existence of any difference of opinion means we have to learn the art of fist fighting and we have to convert everyone else, by force, to our way of thinking.

4. Intelligence is measured by appearance

   For many people, a poorly designed blog means the blogger in question is stupid. This has something to do with our offline lives; if you see two business people, wearing the same suit and both appearing professional arrive in two different vehicles, one being a brand new car, and the other being a rusty old truck from 1950 with loud, annoying music on, which person would you be more inclined to do business with? Many people, if not most, will be inclined to choose the guy in the new car. Why? Because we care about appearances. You may think bloggers are stupid unless the nice design of a blog makes you want to smell your monitor to see if you can smell the freshness.

   While caring for appearances is important, we forget the fact that sometimes some people cannot fix certain things, or do not know how to. However, this offline stereotype of judging others based on their appearance to think that anyone who does not have a good looking blog is not a good blogger, cannot think logically, cannot writer, cannot communicate, and so on. Is that not sort of similar to what we do in the offline world, where if we are right about someone being careless enough to not take care of their appearance when they possibly can, we start questioning unrelated things about their character also, like loyalty, intelligence, and importance?

5. Ethnicity, gender, political and religious affiliations define a person for you, and not what the person actually does in life

   This can be the classic example for many people. The same way many people categorize and judge others in the offline world based on ethnic background, gender, political and religious affiliations, I am noticing many people judge bloggers based on their similar characteristics. You hate people from certain ethnicities and you run into a blogger from that ethnicity? No problem; you simply stereotype and tell the blogger “How dare you go online and start blogging? People of your type should be banned from blogging.”

   Sure, a blogger may themselves try to promote their ethnicity, gender, political or religious affiliation onto the reader, but you do not need to follow their example. It is better to judge people based on how they relate and value certain things, like religion, than to associate them with a certain religion and treat them the same way you supposedly want to treat everyone from that specific trait or religion.

There you have it. Those are the 5 stereotypical things that I think many people have successfully brought from their offline lives onto the online world. If you want to continue stereotyping in the online world, the above list can serve as a cheat sheet for you to refer to whenever you want to think of solid, proven methods to stereotype bloggers.

What is your opinion about this? Can you think of some other points that allow many of us to categorize and stereotype against bloggers?

Thank you for reading.

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What many people in the online world do not realize is that sharing information has nothing to do with whether you are online or offline; if you share anyone’s personal information with anyone, through any method and in any form, you may be breaking a trust.

I think that in order to build relationships, make friends or even have good contacts, one should prioritize the idea of never revealing anyone’s personal information under any circumstance unless one has specific permission to do so. Otherwise, people who share their personal lives with others will be forced to blame themselves for sharing their thoughts with others.

Sharing people’s personal and private information, that they entrusted you with, in your blog posts should be avoided

Imagine you write a blog post using someone’s personal life situation as even a small indirect example, and then some random commentor dissects that information or the topic in question. Because of that, you have forced someone, who shared that personal information with you, to feel defensive and to feel bad for having their personal lives out in the open for random people to discuss and debate. That is not an act of being considerate to others. That is an act of using others to write blog posts.

Why would you assume that someone would not mind you sharing their personal information?

Personal information is personal information, Assuming things like “I thought you wouldn’t mind…” only makes me think of a few questions: Why would you think that someone would not mind you sharing their personal information? What specific thing prompted you to think that someone would be comfortable with you talking about their personal life with someone else, on a blog or a place like Xanga? What is your reasoning and logic behind such an assumption?

If you ask personal questions, be prepared to keep to yourself any personal answers you receive

Many people consider things like business and blogging ideas to be part of their personal lives too, so it is important to realize when to share any information about other people, and when to simply keep quiet. If you do discuss the information with someone, make sure no one finds out about it. Otherwise, the act of sharing information will result in someone running into trust issues, because of their private information being put into the public world by an inconsiderate person. It is not nice to have someone else suffer because of your actions, is it?

What do you think? If you would like to read more on a related note, Jess has an excellent post about this, titled “How foolish is it to trust?“, which can tell you more about some of the thoughts that can come to mind regarding the topic of trusting others.

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1. DBT keeps me from eating normally every night

   Oh lord! It can be 3 am, and when no other e-mail is coming in, I hope that some DBT subscription e-mail comes in. It is very interesting to read the tips that Daniel has to share with the rest of the planet. I like getting daily DBT subscription e-mails.

   If I had to choose between eating cheesecake in the middle of the night and reading an e-mail, I would prefer eating cheesecakes and talking to a very good friend [ ]. However, if my good friend is not online, DBT e-mails are so interesting, I will usually put off my eating and read the latest DBT posts and any related comments. By the time I get done with DBT posts and comments, I forget about eating. Not good. Really not good. DBT should start writing boring posts on a daily basis, so that I can get bored easily and resume eating my food.

2. Daniel from DBT makes me wonder if I am chatting with him, or if I am dreaming

   Daniel, the owner of DBT, is usually online around the same times. “Why is he so accessible?” I wonder. Daniel is considered one of the finest A-list bloggers by many people, and yet he is always online, ready to interact when he has to. I sometimes wonder “Am I dreaming?” when I find it so easy to chat with Daniel compared to other A-list bloggers. Not nice, Daniel and DBT, for making Bes wonder every other night whether or not he is dreaming.

   “Hey Bes!” He usually says. “Am I still dreaming? He still remembers me?” I think to myself, wondering if forces of blogosphere nature and lack of sleep are playing with my mind. DBT sucks because it spoils me into thinking that all “A-list bloggers can still think about other people and not act too stuck up after getting their blogs famous.” Other A-list bloggers, take note: Daniel sets a few good examples to follow on how to communicate with others based on the topic at hand, and not based on how rich or elite one feels.

3. DBT discriminates, but less than most other A-list blogs

   Wow. I remember getting together with an A-list blogger last year who told me that he only wanted to write for advertisors, so that the readers could click on more sponsored links. DBT, on the other hand, does not care if you look at ads or not. DBT also does not discriminate based on whether or not you link back to it. DBT does have one criteria on which it wants to discriminate: you having a blog. If you do not have a blog and you do not want a blog, you will probably have a hard time realizing the potential of DBT. Other DBT lovers will probably hate you for not having a blog. You will not be able to show your face in the DBT world, for you do not have a blog, while everyone else does, and everyone else learns from DBT about ways to improve their blogs.

   That is bad, since such a discrimination forces all of us bloggers to force ourselves to keep having blogs, whether we like it or not, just because we want to keep DBT happy and we want to keep reading DBT posts. DBT’s business model discriminates against people who do not have blogs, because it does not cater to them. Will I ever be able to free myself from the chains of blogging, considering the fact than if I stop having a blog, I will be looked down upon by other DBT lovers who are not being discriminated against because of having blogs? It sounds highly unlikely. Boohooo!

So there you have it. That is my list of 3 random reasons why Daily Blog Tips sucks so much, that I like reading it everyday via e-mail to learn about different tips and techniques, or to see what Daniel thinks of different ideas and concepts that I am already familiar with.

What do you think? Can you think of some more reasons? Did you find anything interesting in this list, or does TR [The Reasoner] suck for not being able to make you smile even a little bit? Now if you must excuse me, I must do something which I have been saying and doing recently in many of my posts: eating, I have to go eat now.

Thank you for reading.

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