You probably drink coffee or most probably know someone who drinks coffee at least every day. And chances are at least one of such people drinks at Starbucks. The world’s largest coffee retailer also attracts the world’s most premium-type class of citizens who walk into Starbucks daily to proudly use Starbucks lingo to order even the simplest of drinks. These customers walk in and order coffee like it was an order of all variety of events in one’s life. People customize their drink down to the boiling temperature that they would like to taste. This is Starbucks. This is exactly why people consider Starbucks coffee a premium lifestyle instead of a coffee choice.
Like any other business, Starbucks also gets many different kinds of customers. Walk into any Starbucks and you may notice rich people, poor people trying to act rich, poor people trying to feel rich, strange people wearing jackets in summer, people bringing their dogs inside when they clearly know dogs are not allowed, people running into Starbucks before meetings or yoga classes just to try and get some coffee within 30 seconds, people who stay at Starbucks all day to pass their daily life or to try and get free internet. Many famous Starbucks locations even have the homeless people staying inside for warmth and a place to sit at, while also sipping coffee and taking showers inside the restrooms using only water from the sink. Starbucks has it all, and it still manages to keep a very classy brand image alive and thriving.Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz in his book “Onward” outlines many of the different routes and obstacles Starbucks has faced in the last 10 years to become the world’s most desired brand to get coffee from. What Howard Schultz does not talk about, however, is the coffee addiciton of Starbucks customers who walk in daily and do or say stupid things in almost every Starbucks location around the world. I visit Starbucks regularly [never to get coffee, by the way], and I notice so many stupid customers doing stupid things that it is amazing how people can feel so important and proud ordering the premium Starbucks coffee in front of everyone while also acting stupid on a human level.
Because of the premium lifestyle image that Starbucks creates for its coffee drinkers, more and more customers start to feel as if they are buying a Land Rover and need full time customer support and nurturing in common sense and courtesy. I do not like businesses that treat customers badly, and I also do not like customers who treat businesses and their employees badly for no good reason, even when seen from the shoes of the business or the customer. Maybe one day soon I’ll write about the 10 stupid things Starbucks Baristas do. Today I’ll focus on the stupid customers I’ve seen or noticed myself in the last year.
Here are 10 top stupid things I have seen Starbucks customers do or say on a regular basis. Amazing how coffee can make you feel proud but not make you smarter or more considerate.
10 Stupid Things Starbucks Customers Do
- People who say “That’s a tall? I wanted the biggest one!” or “I don’t speak Starbucks” or yell “I don’t know what size!“
Look at the menu, idiot. You can order complicated drinks in Starbucks lingo to show off to everyone but you don’t know what cup size you want the drink in?
- Customers who stand in long lines only to get to the register and then decide what they want, making everyone else behind them wait even longer.
Many times when I’m at restaurants or in lines at fast food places, I can’t decide what I want and I wait to get the waiter over or get to the cashier so I can simply blurt out the first thing that I can think of within 5 seconds or so. I then stick with that order. But people in Starbucks lines get to the cashier and then start looking at the menu to decide what they want, as if the menu was hidden from them on purpose before they got to the cashier.
- Demanding a free drink because Starbucks ran out of coffee, because the drink wasn’t cold enough, or because your drink wasn’t made within 30 seconds of your order.
Amazing how people feel rich and try to portray a luxurious lifestyle in front of others while also trying to score a free coffee fix.
- Ordering customized drinks or foods that are exactly the same or worse than their non-customized counterparts.
Or “asiago cheese bagel [what the hell is that? :O], the middle one right there, toasted, triple toasted, and 2 cream cheese on the side.” Triple toasted apparently makes it kosher, as double toasted or toasted even one would still get you raw bagel, wouldn’t it? Or “extra whipped cream” on “non-fat” drinks. That’s the same as ordering a full menu burger at Carl’s Jr. with a diet soda and hoping the soda will help make others not call you fat.
Many people simple want to feel and appear smarter publicly, and after a while such people start believing their own lie that their custom order is what is really better for them. “Grande extra hot, soy, caramel macchiato, no foam, stirred, with whip, extra caramel, at 200 degrees.” What the hell does that even mean? My mouth just drops open or my eyes go wide in shock when people request that. Am I too weak to taste anything that’s hotter than a bit hot? Yeah, as if 195 degree or even 100 degrees won’t be hot enough for your tongue or as if you’ll know the difference in temperature because you’re a Camel.
- People grabbing any drinks that the baristas call out, without checking their own names on the drinks.
And then drinking those drinks and only then coming back and complaining that they do not have the right drinks. Check your name on the cup or ask any barista before you pick up a cup.
- People who empty the condiment bar without being considerate.
People love emptying milk at the condiment bar without notifying anyone or by using too much milk, and then complaining themselves also sometimes about not having enough milk. And when I walk up they simply walk off, knowing fully well that I’ll look at them and ask “You drank the whole thing like it was Nesquik Chocolate Milk?
- Saying “I have a Starbucks card!” or “Ring that order separately!” after the barista has taken all of your order and rang you up.
This one happens a lot, and every time this happens, the line behind gets longer.
- People who tell cashiers “Others [other baristas] know my drink.“
Who cares? That so and so barista is not taking your order. Tell this current Starbucks employee about your drink if you want to order anything. Or get out of the line and wait for your barista to come and make you the drink so you don’t have to repeat your order since you apparently have no idea what the heck you drink.
- People who cut the line and interrupt customers giving their orders to baristas, only to ask for a cup of water.
I have had people interrupt my pastry or chocolate brownies orders just to get water or extra napkins. Wait till the barista in question is not taking any order!
- People who order their drinks and immediately act impatient, demanding their drinks right away.
So many people order their drinks and immediately start saying “I’m late for work” or “I’ve to be somewhere.” This is a Starbucks, not a vending machine. Your drink will take as long as it takes to make your drink. If you’re in a hurry, you shouldn’t be stopping for your Starbucks cocaine addiction fix you junkie.
What do you think? Are you a stupid Starbucks customer?
Do you drink Starbucks? Have you acted like any of the above customers? What do you think is the rationale behind such behavior? Do you think I am just not part of the Starbucks crowd and thus not cool enough to realize all of the above are valid Starbucks customer behaviors?
Share your thoughts, coffee stories or whatever is on your coffee addicted mind in the comments below. You can sip your 200 degree coffee while typing too.Follow @besz